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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:50 pm 
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((((((Hugs LB)))))) I totally hear you.

Today is day 3 of 6 of my solo parenting Leela and while she is completely and totally adorable, it gets really old not having a break when she is fighting sleep. I've been trying to go out as much as possible, and had a wonderful lunch with friends, and I spent half of it trying figure out how to shush her fussiness. Only after we left and sat in a cafe did she nurse and fall asleep.

Also, holy shiitake I look terrible. A friend took photos of me, and I look exhausted, bedraggled and shitty. Not sleeping well is taking such a toll on me.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:30 pm 
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re eating together during babyhood: I just finished "French Children Eat Everything," which was...very interesting, and a new perspective on the feeding front. A lot of it sounds like very good advice but some is contrary to advice on breastfeeding and BLW (not with the "eating whatever parents are eating" idea, I mean the playing with food thing in general) and such, so I'm wary. I think I'll try to read "French Children Don't Throw Food" next (it sounds similar) if I can find an ebook of it.

We obviously can't be together every night once deployments and underways start, but we eat whatever meals we can together generally..only, I hate all the distractions at the table. I haven't figured out how to get my husband to put away electronic devices, laptops, newspapers, magazines, etc, without feeling like I'm correcting his manners. I don't want to nag, but I think it's incredibly rude to me and a bad example for Violet. I don't really know how to approach this. I am sometimes guilty of bringing things to the table and eating while doing other things and I'm trying to cut down on that myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 10:12 pm 
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Annak, I think it's super rude too. Our compromise is that at meals that no one slaved away on-- breakfast mostly-- distractions are okay. Anything time was spent on and dinner (no exceptions) all that shiitake goes away.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:13 pm 
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Left the Emperor sitting on the bathroom counter because the baby was crying in the living room and I'm the only adult here and he took that opportunity to turn on both taps-- which he had asked to do several times while I was there, and which I had said no to, and which he was abiding by before my back was turned-- full-bore so that the sink overflowed in about sixty seconds. Really guy? I don't know if I'm more mad about having to deal with the wreckage (which I am pretty mad about) or mad about his sneaky behavior.

He has been getting REALLY sneaky lately and it's driving me up a wall. Ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:32 am 
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we're taking this toddler gym class. it's really expensive, and i find the class itself incredibly annoying. the first 20-30 min is this circle time where this kid basically gives us parenting advice (i feel like an asparagus for even saying it, but she's way younger than me, and no kids of her own, and obviously not some highly trained pro given that she's working part time at a kiddie gym, and it's not advice on physical activity, it's like, sharing, and forming attachments and stuff) and we do songs and little activities. then the last bit of class they get to go explore the gym equipment.

tzipi really doesn't get into the circle time. we are all dancing around and stretching and doing silly walks and she cries if i try to make her do any of it. she basically sits and watches the rest of the class, or will get up and go play on the gym equipment by herself. she very much enjoys the last 15 minutes of class where the teacher will help them do little gymnastic moves and she can use the rock climbing wall and the balance beam and such.

anyway, my dilemma is this: i wasn't going to sign up again, for the cost, the annoying circle time, tzipi not really participating except at the end, and so on. EXCEPT, this stupid class is ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. every single day she asks about going to the gym. every day she reminisces about last weeks class. she wants to know if that's where we're going every time we leave the house. i REALLY don't want to keep going, but this is very much the only thing, besides her best buddy Alex, that she consistently talks and asks about. So, am i a grinch? should i sign her up again?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:43 am 
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Is there a program that offers more of what you want?

All the baby courses sound so good and I feel like a grinch not signing L up for things. But I'm not drawing a salary and i'd rather do free stuff with friends.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:57 am 
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don't feel bad, especially at leela's age. baby classes are kind of a waste of time except as a social outlet and time killer for a bored caregiver. it was very very recently (like 2 months ago) that i felt like tzipi really started enjoying this kind of thing. she's been taking swimming for a while, but it's practically free through our municipality, otherwise there wasn't really any point. and again, even the gym thing... she talks about it a lot, but i still think she'd get more out of it if she were closer to 3 or 4. if you have limited resources, save your money for when they are really going to ask for activities and fully enjoy and participate in them.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 2:52 pm 
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littlebird, you've probably already checked, but at a few gymnastics places (and our rec center) around us, they offer an open gym time where you can drop-in and play (without instruction) for a fee. Maybe there is something like that around you?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 6:24 pm 
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Someone told me that in her experience having a kid sends you back to middle school, with the little social groups that ensue. One minute you're all friends and the next they're polite to you if they meet you but don't invite you to stuff or reply to your emails. And then you see on FB that they all got together without you. I should be too old to care about this kind of petty shiitake.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 7:00 pm 
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You and me both Tofulish. That kind of shiitake bugs the hell out of me. It has happened to us with some of E's friends/their parents.

We had a great morning, went out and saw friends etc. Got home about 2:30 and then he spent an hour fighting my efforts to get him to rest. Finally I told him whatever, the baby needs to nap and I need to rest so I'm just going to lay down and you can do whatever. He waited til I had just fallen asleep and started climbing on me, pulling on my hair, etc. really? I almost lost it. Kid. I need you to need me less.

It's 5 p.m. and I'm a total wreck. If things continue the way they have lately, then it'll be 3 hours til we start fighting him to go to bed and five til he actually goes. And then he'll be back up at six thirty. This is unsustainable.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:44 am 
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Thank god grey is going to daycare this morning, he decided it would be fun to wake up at 2am and Want to hang out. So we drove. For two hours. I thought he would sleep in, nope. He woke up at 6:30. And the cat kept jumping on me. I am seriously in a bad mood. I just want to eat candy and drink coffee.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 10:01 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Someone told me that in her experience having a kid sends you back to middle school, with the little social groups that ensue. One minute you're all friends and the next they're polite to you if they meet you but don't invite you to stuff or reply to your emails. And then you see on FB that they all got together without you. I should be too old to care about this kind of petty shiitake.



This is so true.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:44 pm 
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Oh crepe. She was so cranky and went down for her nap at 5:00. Its almost 8. She's going to be awake and ready to part-ay at 11.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:42 pm 
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So Ada will not eat breakfast or lunch in her high chair (but dinner is ok for some reason). She'll sit on me for awhile but then she starts wandering around and coming back and forth to get food from me. I made the mistake of giving her sunflower nut butter on toast this morning. She sat on my lap for about one minute and then just started walking around casually and coming back to me when she wanted more. Then she start touching eevvvverything. Sunflower nut butter everywhere. Later I was giving her strawberry banana coconut yogurt for a snack. She was letting me spoon feed her and then she wanted to take the spoon herself. But she would eat some, then walk away with the spoon and the remaining yogurt would drip everywhere, then she would come back to me to get more, etc. Anyway, kitchen turns into a yogurt slip and slide. It was kind of hilarious becaue she did a belly slide at one point. But not so hilarious because it was a giant mess. When she was done she knocked the cup onto me and covered me in yogurt. I feel like I am cleaning up all day. And Andy is away until Friday. Boo.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:02 pm 
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Sashi, I hear you. The Emperor sent through a phase like that. I seriously considered getting a dog to eat all the food he dropped/give me a break.

My thing: lying. I've read that developing lying skills is actually really important for social development (makes sense if you think about it) and that while it's annoying it's nothing to freak out about. But man, it is annoying. It really bugs me. Today I watched E rip one of his toys seemingly on purpose. I asked him not to tear it again and he said "oh, (a friend of ours who hasn't been to our house in ages) ripped it, not me.". So I was like, I don't think so, he hasn't been here in months. He pauses and then says, "oh, I guess baby Wren tore it." Um dude, I watched YOU do it 2 minutes ago! C'mon!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:06 pm 
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co-sleeping! it's fun at the time, but then your 5 1/2 year old is still up 90 minutes past her bedtime weeping because "it's just so hard for me to go to sleep".

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 10:42 pm 
***LIES!!!***
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I had a thirteen hour work day (oh my God, summer, come faster!). And then I came home to a baby who is trying to eat through her own finger. We have a pediatrician's visit tomorrow and they're going to think we're abusing her with the combination of bug bites, acne, human bites (her own of course), brand new eczema, and snot-covered face she won't let us wipe. She is now wearing a sock taped to her hand.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 11:38 am 
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Magician: random shriek fest in the evening, late bedtime, then you woke me up at 6 a.m. And then you kicked my coffee mug out of my hand. You were making good progress on becoming mother's favorite but you may need to rethink your recent strategy; the past 24 hours have set you back some.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 11:43 am 
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Ariann wrote:
I had a thirteen hour work day (oh my God, summer, come faster!). And then I came home to a baby who is trying to eat through her own finger. We have a pediatrician's visit tomorrow and they're going to think we're abusing her with the combination of bug bites, acne, human bites (her own of course), brand new eczema, and snot-covered face she won't let us wipe. She is now wearing a sock taped to her hand.


I read this and my first thought was: tape to hold on the sock! Great idea! So yeah, been there. I hope there aren't too many more 13 hr days in your near future.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 1:37 pm 
***LIES!!!***
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As it turns out, it's much worse than all that. She doesn't have eczema, she didn't bite herself (thank God). She has a staph infection. So now we have her wrapped up with this tape that sticks to itself, but not to her (it doesn't stick that well to itself, you need real tape to close it). The doctor's office gave us a whole roll of the stuff - it's bright yellow with bumblebees on it, but it looks like skulls and cross bones, which seems more apt. I am now just praying the kid doesn't have MRSA and that the oral and topical antibiotics work and that she's not in too much discomfort in the meantime. My poor husband was really struggling yesterday fighting with her to keep band-aids on and stop chewing on her infected finger. And this probably means she can't go to the daycare at the gym for awhile (or on playdates) so that'll suck for him.

In better news - I think yesterday was the last super-long work day until the fall! Guess who's taking an extra day off next week! THIS GAL.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 6:22 pm 
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ack! that's scary! i hope she gets better soon!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 6:46 pm 
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I hope she feels better soon! So scary!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:25 am 
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Scary! Hope it clears up fast!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:28 am 
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Oh poor Malka! I hope it clears up quickly!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:29 am 
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And my venting--no, you can't put a lock on your bedroom door with a key and lock it when you're not here because you don't want nobody in your room. Especially not when you routinely leave your space heater on, and lose keys. And we've been through this too many forking times. Your relationship problems with your brother aren't going to be solved with a lock. Neither is your hostile attribution bias. You probably did lose your own headphones and break your own charger. It isn't always someone doing you wrong.


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