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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 4:30 pm 
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So I just found out the sex of the baby even though I very specifically did NOT want to know.
The genetic counselor from UMASS called me back to tell me the second part of the amnio test results were in and everything was normal. At the same time she also told me the sex of the baby which I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW.
So it’s going to be a girl!
My parents are ecstatic because they already have 2 grandsons. I was convinced we were going to have a boy because there are WAY more boys in both my family and my husband’s family.
I guess I was WRONG!
Im scared at all the pink and purple that is going to enter my life.

Side note: im still sick with a head cold. Are cough drops ok? I remember a coworker being pregnant and was looking for a cough drop but could only have specific ones. I literally just spent the past 30 mins hacking up a lung and took the first cough drop that was offered to me. I hope that is ok. this coughing is really wearing me down!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:28 pm 
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LisaPunk wrote:
So I just found out the sex of the baby even though I very specifically did NOT want to know.
The genetic counselor from UMASS called me back to tell me the second part of the amnio test results were in and everything was normal. At the same time she also told me the sex of the baby which I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW.
So it’s going to be a girl!
My parents are ecstatic because they already have 2 grandsons. I was convinced we were going to have a boy because there are WAY more boys in both my family and my husband’s family.
I guess I was WRONG!
Im scared at all the pink and purple that is going to enter my life.

Side note: im still sick with a head cold. Are cough drops ok? I remember a coworker being pregnant and was looking for a cough drop but could only have specific ones. I literally just spent the past 30 mins hacking up a lung and took the first cough drop that was offered to me. I hope that is ok. this coughing is really wearing me down!

Sorry to hear they told you the sex! I didn't want to know for mine either. You don't have to tell anyone else if you want to keep the pink overload to a minimum. (I see you told your parents, but I mean other people who are not as close!)

Anyway, for cough drops, you probably want to avoid the ones like Ricola that have extra herbs and such. I just took Vit. C drops when I was pregnant.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:32 pm 
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i kind of like knowing. it's easier to make it feel real, i think. and then you can pick out a name too! i wasn't sure if i'd find out the second time, but in the end i did... both times i really liked being able to visualize what our new family was going to look like. but it sucks they told you!! i think it's becoming more common to find out, so they probably aren't used to keeping it a secret.

as for the pink and purple and frills, ugh, i find it somewhat unavoidable. the only real way to cut down on it is to either buy all your own stuff in your preferred colours and patterns, or be a hardass with your friends and family.

even though they got my argument that we're just NOT pink frilly people, regardless of gender messages, i still got cutesy little outfits from both sides of the family. my mil, especially, can't resist a girly outfit. i was much bitchier about it before tzipi turned 2 or so, but i've fully given up now. my preference is still for neutrals, especially on babies, but i have a stronger preference for not spending money, so lydia is in a lot more pink than tzipi ever was.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:37 pm 
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yeah i was bummed they told me cause i was totally not expecting it.
she was like "the results came back as 46XX which is totally normal"
i had no idea what any of that meant but i was kinda wondering if the XX meant girl but i didnt say anything and then she kept going on about the test results then out of nowhere she was like "and that confirms it is a girl"

derp.

at this point i was like "f it ill just tell everyone"
*sigh* oh well.
i think it's so common these days for people to find out that she probably didnt even think about it.

so you think it's the herbs in certain cough drops that are problematic? i was looking at some ricola ones in my desk drawer today and i was like "oooh i dont know about all these herbs" so i didnt use those and then when i was having my coughing fit my supervisor gave me some Halls. i just wish this stupid cough would go away. i cant sleep cause everytime i lie down i start hacking up a lung. this happens to me every winter but this year i cant take the nyquil caps i usually take to knock me the f out :-/

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:41 pm 
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littlebird wrote:
i kind of like knowing. it's easier to make it feel real, i think. and then you can pick out a name too! i wasn't sure if i'd find out the second time, but in the end i did... both times i really liked being able to visualize what our new family was going to look like. but it sucks they told you!! i think it's becoming more common to find out, so they probably aren't used to keeping it a secret.


the funny thing is i was mad at first (ok im still a bit mad) but then i kind of was like "whoa im gonna have a little me" and i got kinda psyched about it on the way home listening to all my female artists on my ipod and thinking how i can send her to Rock Camp when she's old enough. i did the "ladies" version which is a fundraiser for the girls camp (http://girlsrockboston.org/) so even though i didnt want to know i think in the end im kinda glad.

ive already told my own parents, my MIL, and people i work with that all pink frilly items will be burnt in a pile. i realize that's a bit harsh but it's also kinda my personality. i mean once she is old enough to form her own opinions if she decides she likes pink then fine but i hate the idea that all girl babies MUST wear pink and frilly shiitake and like Disney Princess shiitake.

ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:49 pm 
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Oh that sucks that they told you but nonetheless congrats! As bodhi said, not telling people is always an option. That would at least cut down on the initial pink frilly stuff if a lot of people you know are going to be shopping for the baby before she's born. For us, we didn't have a shower or anything before hand so most gifts came after Ada was born and yeah, there was some pink stuff. Mostly from people who don't see us regularly. But we made it pretty clear to all of the grandparents what kind of stuff we want and they've all been pretty good about it.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:52 pm 
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Congrats on your news LP! It's completely inappropriate that she didn't ask you before telling you that. All the people doing ultrasounds, etc, for me pointedly asked if I wanted to now before talking about it.

We wear mostly hand me downs and stuff that the grandparents buy and it really annoys me how I don't get to pick out stuff I would like better. That goes with toys, too. This is OT, but we go by mama and papa and my in-laws have bought SO MANY onesies that say some shiitake about mommy loves me or daddy's girl. I find it very thoughtless (even though they are giving us gifts and I shouldn't complain).


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:33 pm 
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Exciting, LP! But I would have been SO pissed if that had happened to me. Did you say something to the woman? Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself! Your care providers work for you!

And I am in the same boat as those of you who request that your family doesn't buy all pink, they buy pink anyway, and you are too cheap/broke to dress your daughter how you would prefer. Oh well. And not knowing our baby's sex before she was born did not help us avoid that stuff at all! Everyone just waited until she was born because they felt that you cannot possibly buy a gift for a baby without knowing the baby's sex.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:51 pm 
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I'm sorry they told you when you were hoping to keep it a surprise - but Congratulations on a girl and adding to your family's diversity!

I was not so secretly hoping for a girl (although now with my sweet little man I couldn't imagine having a girl) because I love the pink and frills and tutus - I have tried to assuage my love of pink by buying Giles some pink onesies - but I can't find any that don't say "princess" or have pictures of ballerinas on them. I guess boy's can't wear pink.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:40 am 
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We have a bunch of pink onesies that don't say princess on them! We didn't tell anyone the sex (except for our clergy and intimate relatives) until 8 days after Malka was born, when it was revealed at her naming. It was so great because we got very few pink things (my mother did not keep the secret perfectly). (It also pissed people off, but whatever.) The longer you can keep the secret, the less likely you'll have a bunch of pink!

Congratulations, though! Girls (just like boys) are great!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:07 am 
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thanks everyone. im getting kinda psyched about all things i can show her/do with her. :-)

i didnt say anything to the woman on the phone even though i probably should have. im HORRIBLE at speaking up for myself and i felt like it was an innocent mistake. my husband thinks i should have said something like "you should probably ask people if they want to know before you tell them"

oh well! the bigger issue is that all the test results came back normal so i cant really complain :-)

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:11 am 
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Thanks everyone!! I'm feeling much more human every day, and they are just wonderful little people.

refinnej wrote:
Oh, they are so beautiful...and so big and healthy for twin babies!

Josephine is a family name here too! Is Alice for Alice Walker? (Emerson and Blake more apparent :) )

Glad you are recovering, that sounds really tough.

Alice in Wonderland is one of our favorite stories, but we also love Alice Walker--really, we want our daughter to be brave, curious, outspoken, and strong--like both Alices.


mooo wrote:
Sorry, I can't remember-- is Emerson a boy or a girl? (I'm just making an assumption about Alice Josephine...)

A boy. His name is actually becoming kind of gender-neutral, isn't it?

Congrats LisaP! I would have also have been upset, though. The techs asked me if I knew at every one of my sonograms--even the ones who knew me and saw me often. It's just a courtesy. I didn't want to know if we were having a singleton, but twins ended up being enough of a surprise.

I banned my mom and MIL from buying anything pink. I got a few cute pink things, but no princesses or pink unicorn glitter explosions. I had the same opinion--let her choose if she likes that stuff, but don't impose it on her. I actually like pink, but it can get to be way too much with little girls.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:23 am 
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Yes, I've met both baby boys and girls named Emerson. So glad you're feeling better!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:08 pm 
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Butternut wrote:
Congrats on your news LP! It's completely inappropriate that she didn't ask you before telling you that. All the people doing ultrasounds, etc, for me pointedly asked if I wanted to now before talking about it.

We wear mostly hand me downs and stuff that the grandparents buy and it really annoys me how I don't get to pick out stuff I would like better. That goes with toys, too. This is OT, but we go by mama and papa and my in-laws have bought SO MANY onesies that say some shiitake about mommy loves me or daddy's girl. I find it very thoughtless (even though they are giving us gifts and I shouldn't complain).



hahaha Butternut we are in the same position. First, Dahlia gets 90% of her clothes as handmedowns from my bro's twin girls who are exactly a year older and my sis-in-law has the WORST taste - it must be her rule that the girls wear exclusively pink, purple and flowers. That kills me but my answer is to mix it up by buying stuff like camo and black clothes which she then wears with the pink/flower whatever. D is getting really into pink on her own though, which of course I'm fine with. And we exclusively use Mama/Papa too! and get all the mommy/daddy message stuff. It's funny, until fairly recently my mom would refer to Howard as "daddy" when talking to Dahlia and Dahlia kinda had no idea who she was talking about.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:07 pm 
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it wasnt an u/s tech who told me it was the genetic counselor. im guessing u/s techs are a little more used to having to ask people and the way this woman phrased it it made me think she thought we already knew. she said "and this confirms it's a girl" (cause they were looking at chromosomes and such).

ah well.

im thinking of not telling the extended fam who would come to the baby shower. either that or im seriously thinking of putting something on the shower invite like "NO PINK FRILLY shiitake" cause it will be the extended fam who buys me that stuff not immediate fam or close friends. i mean there is plenty of girly crepe that isnt pink if people are desperate to buy girly crepe. ive seen some super cute onesie type dresses that arent pink. grrrr pink makes me want to vomit.

glad you are feeling better DTBK and are enjoying your twins! i immediately thought of Alice in Wonderland when you said Alice as the Disney cartoon is one of my all time favorite movies ever and once i was old enough to read the book i fell in love with that too. now im thinking of stealing your name! seriously! i hadnt thought of Alice! it's classy, not weird and not super common. i also think Emerson is a great name.

hmmm....i might do a ppk name steal ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:47 pm 
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LP, glad you are feeling good about the gender-revelation. I didn't want to find out ahead of time but my husband did, so I yielded. He didn't really get to make a lot of the decisions in the pregnancy since she lived in me, heh, so I thought this was something just for him. Later though, I really liked knowing, imagining myself with this little girl who was at that point still a bump. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:49 pm 
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Everyone name their children Alice! I will create an army!

I mean... congratulations, DTBK!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 1:33 pm 
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oh wow Alice and Emerson are adorable, huge congratulations, dtbk! And what a scary experience it sounds like you've been through, as if adjusting to caring for two brand new tiny people wasn't enough. Hope you're feeling much better and you're getting plenty of help and support.

And Lisa, sorry you got your surprise spoilt, but congratulations on your little girl, and what great news that she is healthy and you don't have those worries hanging over you any more.

We don't know our baby's sex and I would definitely have been upset if it had been revealed to me at any point along the process. I am curious about so many things, what will the baby look like, will it have hair, how big will it be...but I am really not curious about the sex, it just doesn't ever come into my mind.
We haven't received gifts from many people, and don't expect to after the birth either, and we have been clear with our families that our wish to avoid gender-stereotyped clothing is a how-we-want-to-raise-our-child thing, not just a because-we-don't-know-the-sex thing. Lets hope once this baby is on the outside they keep up the same support!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:45 pm 
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I love the name Emerson too. I tried to convince Karl to choose it as the bean's name for a long time, but he insisted it was a boy's name.

We need to have more animal friends so I can use up all my extra baby names. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:47 pm 
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We had our 20 week ultrasound yesterday. The baby is measuring on time and everything looked good. They were able to avoid showing us the sex. The doctor came in at the end and asked if the tech told us if it was a boy or girl, I quickly said "no, because we don't want to know yet." The only somewhat bad news was that the placenta is close to my cervix so they'll have to check on it again closer to my due date to make sure it moves. According to the doctor, they almost always move up as the pregnancy goes on, so I'm still going to read all those Bradley and Hypnobirthing books that I checked out from the library.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 11:13 pm 
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Chiveggie, glad to hear everything's going well! I had a partial previa at 20 weeks in my second pregnancy, and it had moved almost entirely by the time I went back for a followup scan (for something else) at 24 weeks, and was nowhere near my cervix by the time I delivered.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:41 pm 
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I hate that the position of your placenta is even mentioned at the anatomy scan! They almost always move. I'm sure you'll be fine, chiveggie.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:16 pm 
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mooo wrote:
I hate that the position of your placenta is even mentioned at the anatomy scan!


How could they avoid mentioning it? What would be the excuse for a follow-up ultrasound? It's stressful to have to think about, but if I were potentially going to have to have a planned C-section, I'd want the most warning possible (especially since I delivered with midwives - I'd want to meet the doctor who would perform the section and have an opportunity to find another one if I didn't like them).

P.S. I may be unusual in this, but any withholding of any information by care providers makes me enormously distrustful of them - if it's about my body, I should know the full picture at every step (obviously it should be communicated in a non-scary, non-threatening way!). I think there are not many cases where there shouldn't be total transparency between care providers and pregnant women. Actually, I can't think of any such cases off the top of my head.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:46 am 
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mooo wrote:
I hate that the position of your placenta is even mentioned at the anatomy scan! They almost always move. I'm sure you'll be fine, chiveggie.


I had the same finding at my 20-week ultrasound, and it was no problem. I'm glad my care providers mentioned it to prepare for the possibility. There was, however, a very real difference between what the ob who reviewed the scan told me - no lifting over 10 lbs whatsoever (I had a 2.5 year old at the time), rest as much as possible, and possibility of bed rest after next scan - and what my midwife said at my next routine visit - placenta was barely covering, I could lift my daughter, just avoid any strenuous exercise or lifting beyond what I had already been doing, and it would very likely not be an issue with the next scan. (And it wasn't.) It would have been nice not to have the fear of bleeding to death if I lifted my daughter even one time been raised without further explanation. (I exaggerate a bit, but the ob was pretty damn terrifying.)

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:02 am 
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thanks for the info. The doctor wasn't concerned about it, no restrictions or anything. Mainly since it was just "close" not covering. He said they almost always move. It seems everyone I mentioned it to has said they were told the same thing.


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