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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 6:03 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
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Tofulish wrote:


Really, mainly I wanted a gut check that we weren't being unreasonable.

Absolutely you weren't. And I speak as a no-child person.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:51 pm 
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And you never will.
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In preparation for the few new toys poopiebaby is going to get for Christmas, I decided to go through and clean out what he already had. I cleaned everything (uh, some were pretty gross), took out toys that he had outgrown, and packed up some that he doesn't play with much and put them in the top of his closet (to pull out if I need something "new" to distract him at some point, or switch out if he gets tired of the ones he has access to).

Anyway, I decided it was time to pull out everything he had outgrown (the toys, clothes, cloth diapers, crib, bouncy seat, etc...) and now it's all sitting in my living room and I am having a dilemma with what to do with it, and I really think I need people who aren't emotionally invested to give me some objective advice.

Things to consider:

#1: My mother is a pack-rat and is also emotionally unstable, and I associate hanging onto stuff you don't need with hanging on to emotional baggage.

#2: 90% of the baby stuff we have was handed-down to us by amazing people when we couldn't afford to buy things for ourselves, and I feel like I should pass it on to someone else who needs it.

#3: Unless something drastic changes in our finances this month, we will almost certainly be evicted from our home soon (Happy New Year! You have 30 days to GTFO!) and we will probably have to either move in with someone in my family or into a tiny flat (hopefully temporarily), where there won't really be room to store baby stuff we're not using.

#4: We want to have another baby, and if we get rid of it then we'll have to start over from scratch, knowing that most people frown on asking for stuff for a second baby - and in case you couldn't gather from the above post, we really can't afford to replace everything ourselves.

#5: We've been trying to conceive for a year and a half and haven't been successful, and all this baby stuff is like a constant reminder of that and it's kind of making me feel like a failure. And it's making me feel like I'm hoarding it away and wasting it because I feel like I'm never going to be able to get pregnant again. But I'm emotionally attached to it at the same time.

Ugh. This shouldn't be so hard. I have literally broken down into tears about this twice over the last couple of days.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:02 pm 
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I was about to suggest ThredUp, but it looks like their model has changed. It used to be that you listed boxes of what you were willing to part with, and then for every box you swapped you could get a box of hand me downs..so you could turn old poopiebaby clothes and toys into new, bigger poopiebaby clothes and older toys. But it doesn't seem to work that way anymore. :( maybe there's something similar?


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:14 pm 
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Do you have a friend or relative with a basement or attic who could store things for you? It is tough to get rid of things you might be ale to use in the future and if they could keep stuff for a year or so that would be a good temporary solution. Get rid of the things that aren't useful, but store the things that you would have to replace. Then you can see where you are in 3-6-12 months and re-evaluate.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:29 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I am so sorry Poopie. It sounds like you have a lot of really difficult things going on right now, so I send you a huge hug. Its so hard to be facing financial difficulties, the loss of your home and trying to conceive (especially with a history of PCOS), any one of those things takes everything out of you, so to be facing all three at the same time just sounds really overwhelming. I wish I could make you tea and give you a big squeeze.

I just store my favorite pieces (and the very few non-pink ones!), in case we have a second Tofetus. We got a lot more clothes than Leela ever wore, so I figure with a few outfits our next kidlet will be just as happy. I give everything else on and hope that it will bring joy to someone else, like it did me.

We got so lucky. Appifanie and Jewie both sent me some lovely baby clothes and I met a vegan at one of our bake sales and she just happened to have a daughter a year older than Leela, so she gave us all her clothes and she had SO MANY and was just so sweet and kind to us. She gave us her cosleeper, nice clothes, all stuff that she could have sold, but didn't.

When you get pregnant, we will put together stuff for you. Promise. <3

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:35 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:

When you get pregnant, we will put together stuff for you. Promise. <3



Word.

Keep the few pieces that you really can't part with - the clothes you would keep even if you weren't planning on having another baby, and the stuff that's too expense to replace (carseats, babycarriers, highchairs, etc.) People really do come together in times of need. When you get pregnant again, the people who helped you before will of course help you again. It happened before, and it'll happen again.

The only reason I'm keeping most of Ezra's stuff is because we have a huge attic. I really need to get up there and clean it out. (let me know if you need any current clothes for Peter!)

Edit: I realized that this post has a severe lack of hugs, and you definitely need them. **HUGS**


Last edited by flavabean on Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:37 pm 
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Aw poopie. I'm hanging onto M's stuff for a bit longer because I'm not ready to let go of it yet (I know, this is ridiculous but what does it matter if I get rid of it now or next year or whatever?) and I've already decided I want to pass the mailable stuff (nicer clothing, tiny diapers, little baby toys) on to a PPKer if possible. So if you end up getting rid of the baby stuff now, you can have mine if you need it later!

Is there anything really irreplaceable or really sentimental? A toy PB loved, a blanket you always wrapped him in, etc? I'd be inclined to keep that sort of thing and ditch things that aren't sentimental or irreplaceable.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 4:29 am 
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Ditto to what the others have said. I've kept only some sentimental things..the hat she wore in the. hospital, some hand knitted dresses that were gifts, the first outfit I bought for her and of course Pierre the cow. We bought nothing new as far as equipment, so it will go once she's outgrown it (passed on her bucket carseat and a bouncy seat already)

Big (((hugs)))! Ttc is stressful, then of course the first thing "they" say is to not stress. Oi. I can only imagine how scary losing your house would be.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:07 pm 
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And you never will.
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Thank you so much, everyone. I really needed those hugs. I am feeling better about letting this stuff go now - I think I will go through it, pull out the things I just can't part with (limiting myself to one plastic bin) and pass on the rest to someone who needs it. And then I'm going to make myself a nice cup of tea :)

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Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars
One vegan baker to another: "Dude, do you even sift?" - FootFace


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:30 pm 
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Hey Poopie, I wanted to send out hugs and let you know I totally feel you. We need to be out of our apartment January 1st and have yet to sign the lease on a new place, and even though it seems like a sure thing, not having any legal recourse if our new apartment landlords decide to change their minds is freaking me the fork out. As it is we're leaving a two bedroom for (hopefully definitely) a one bedroom, which is also super stressing me out. I don't want to try and find space for all this little baby stuff we potentially won't use for a while, or ever, but I can't bring myself to get rid of it because I feel like we lucked out getting it in the first place. I'm really wanting to start trying for baby #2, but there's no way we could afford two. The only reason daycare is remotely affordable is because I work there and get a discount and it still stretches us to the max. On top of it all I've had cramps for like two weeks which has me thinking about my reproductive system constantly. Oof, sorry that turned into a giant vent, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone! It does totally suck, but I'm trying to keep in mind that things will work out in the end.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 6:16 pm 
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Ada just got a square Duplo block stuck in her mouth. She thought it would be funny to shove it in there. Not so funny when I had to pull it out. I have no idea how she got it all the way in there to begin with!


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 6:25 pm 
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I've been having problems with my kids dumping out all their toys, being wild, and, ya know, little kid-ish. My far-away friend who doesn't have kids but has studied child behavior and lives with her 1yo niece is offering me mostly useless and sometimes insulting advice (the first thing she told me was that I need to make sure I am telling them their behavior is not okay... WHY THE CUSS DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!).

One of her suggestions was that I pack up ALL their toys and put them somewhere they can't get them, and then hand them out based on good behavior. Am I ridiculous for thinking that is INSANE?

First, I'd have to rearrange my whole damn house. Where the hell am I going to keep all those toys if not in their rooms? Also, a four year old can get into most stuff so I am EXTREMELY limited in locations.

Call me lazy but I SO don't want to spend my whole day policing their toys. I don't think my friend appreciates how different spending all day, every day by yourself with your kids is compared to working at a daycare or coming home and helping your parents with your niece for a few hours.

For all that effort, I am skeptical that this would even be effective. I have taken away favored toys, and they get over it and play with other crepe. Their play is not limited to toys. They would find other things to make into toys. I would have to empty my house before they ran out of things to play with.

It sounds like something they do at their house with her niece, but that is a group of people putting it in to practice for one kid (younger than either of mine). I spend the majority of 5-6 days a week by myself with these two. I would be miserable trying police that crepe.

End stupid rant.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:29 pm 
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I'm very nervous now about who is going to watch my daughter when I'm in labor with the twins. It was going to be my aunt-- she lives close-by and absolutely loves my daughter, and my daughter loves her too. BUT she just has TERRIBLE judgement when it comes to safety issues. Maybe partly because she never had kids? I don't know. I left my daughter (age 2) with my aunt for an hour by themselves for the first time. Before I left, we were all three playing together. I brought along our toddler-sized tent for her to nap in, and while I was still there, my aunt put the tent on top of her bed, which is pretty high off the ground. My daughter climbs up on the bed and into the tent, so I immediately remove my kid from the tent, and put the tent on the floor, explaining to my aunt that my daughter will jump inside the tent and will most likely fall off the bed. So, what does my aunt do when I leave? She puts the tent on her bed again, lets my daughter play in it, and surprise surprise, she falls off the bed inside the tent. She's basically fine, but I am livid. And this just confirmed that I really really can't trust her with my kid.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 8:43 am 
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This is just kind of a funny clueless parent sort of thing. Giles had just sucked down 6oz of milk when my husband decided to show me the new thing that baby thinks is SO fun. So he grabs the baby up and hangs him upside down. Right over me. And for about two seconds it is adorable because Giles is laughing and smiling. And as I am just about to say that maybe we should wait a few more minutes after eating to have upside down time - I get baby puke in my hair.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:21 am 
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Oh that is hilarious! My husband did something similar - He was having her fly over his head and she spit up a flood of milk into his mouth. He was taken aback, but far less horrified than I would have thought!

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 11:55 am 
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I feel like I'm making up for getting lucky with a minimally spitting-up baby in the beginning by having a baby puke on me almost every night now for over a week. Getting old, kid.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:04 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I feel stabby, oh so stabby, so stabby, and crabby, oh my!

I hate people who say soy is bad because - [insert link to Mercola] and its GMO. Like that automatically means anything. OMG GMO!

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:48 pm 
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Oh god and now its all "OMG I LOVE MERCOLA!"

Quote:
dr. Mercola is a doc that realized our medical system is crepe that jus treats symptoms without treating the underlying cause of the problem, so he's on a campaign for people to get their health back by proper nutrition, non gmo organic whole foods, lots of vit d, etc. he also blasts companies like Monsanto for the frankenfoods they're creating and he has IMO for alternative treatments for conditions, and he backs up the research with studies. A lot of his remedies are thugs that work but docs don't tell u bc it doesn't make them money if you're not on meds etc:-) its www.drmercola.com

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:24 am 
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Dr. Mercola is.a.nutjob. I moderated on a veg message board for years and every few weeks some random person would "warn" us about the evils of soya and start a whole big thing. Dude. They been eating soy in China for a thousand years and they haven't turned into a race of cancer-laden hermaphrodites yet.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:17 pm 
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just made an appointment for my first ever acupuncture session tomorrow... somewhat apprehensive/excited!


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:31 pm 
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oncewerewesties wrote:
just made an appointment for my first ever acupuncture session tomorrow... somewhat apprehensive/excited!


I've never done it, but everyone I know (many friends) has recommended it. Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:44 pm 
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refinnej wrote:
Dr. Mercola is.a.nutjob. I moderated on a veg message board for years and every few weeks some random person would "warn" us about the evils of soya and start a whole big thing. Dude. They been eating soy in China for a thousand years and they haven't turned into a race of cancer-laden hermaphrodites yet.


Its also so crazy to be all "OMG you can't trust doctors because they make money off you and they sell you over to BigPharma!" Yes, there are tons of unlicense, unregulated quacks peddling assloads of woo (tm) and none of it is free. Including Dr. Mercola's magic supplements. Why doesn't anyone question their objectivity, in the face of the conflict of interest? I'd rather have peer-reviewed, scientific evidence based medicine than fear-based arguments of how your MD is trying to rob you.

Oh and the answer they give to the 1000 years of Asian soy consumption - well they never ate highly processed soy, they eat fermented soy, and their soy isn't GMO so its all different.

Reading pro-Mercola posts are like punching yourself in the face.

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:19 am 
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Not NOT A Furry

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Location: Aarhus, Denmark
OK, so I am a knitter and big surprise, have an account on Ravelry. When I got pregnant I joined a "due in October" group and it's been kind of fun/informative hearing other people's experiences and seeing their baby pictures, even though I am not totally down with everybody's lifestyle choices.

Now I am starting to hate it and decided I can't read it at all anymore. It seems like everyone else just posts about how great their baby is at sleeping and gaining weight and if I see one more post about how "Ezra/Danielle/Oscar/Marie USED to sleep 6 hours at a time and this week it's only 4 and I am SO tired" I will just lose it. tiny wu is 2months (just like their kids) and has never slept more than 3 hours at a time. I love her and think she is perfect but I would also love some sleep. And I secretly want to write a Ravelry post called "I am unsympathetic, ladies with fat placid babies!"

OK, I would never do that because it would be mean and judge-y. But thanks, ppk-ers, for not being all sunshine and rainbows about being a parent. I really like the Playground--you all seem really honest and caring--and I hope to be able to hang out happily here.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:58 am 
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ohhh i know what u mean... i'm in an oct group too and these girls are complaning their babies arent sleeping all night... and then 3 of them posted about how they add cereal to their last bedtime bottle. duuuude they are 2m old!!!!!!!! 0_0 they SHOULD NOT be sleeping so long with such tiny stomachs. ugh!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:09 pm 
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ScandinaVegan, I feel for you, believe me...my 7month old is not a good sleeper at all and has trouble gaining too. I absolutely freakin' adore her but haven't slept more than 3 hours at once in many months.


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