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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:37 pm 
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mittenmacher wrote:
"Mommy, close your eyes. Now it's dark inside of you."

Whoaaaa. That is deep.

I changed jobs and yesterday was my first day so I met the lady who works at the wine bar's kid. He was adorable but then he called me the "melon lady" and I was like UM WHAT and then his mom explained he called the previous produce worker the "melon man". Apparently because the kid loves melons and gets them there.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:58 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
E ambushed me the other day as I walked into the living room, throwing off his bath towel and shouting WELCOME TO THE PENIS SHOW!

(Living in a house with one adult male and two male children, buddy, I feel like I've been at the penis show for some time.)


Hahahaha! He is so going to be a rock star one day!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 10:09 pm 
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Me: isn't it weird that sometimes we have breakfast for dinner but we never have dinner for breakfast?

E: well, we have breakfast burritos.

E: but that's just something you made up.

E: they're not really like, a thing.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:25 am 
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I am pretty sure my 19mo just said "nooch".

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:08 am 
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"Mama where's your camera? I made SANDCASTLE!"

Turns out she pooped in the dining room and made a sand castle out of it by jamming a bucket on it, and was proud enough that she wanted to immortalize it on film.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:23 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
"Mama where's your camera? I made SANDCASTLE!"

Turns out she pooped in the dining room and made a sand castle out of it by jamming a bucket on it, and was proud enough that she wanted to immortalize it on film.


Wow...that's just...wow, no words. That story is worth its weight in gold for any time you need to embarrass her as a teenager. Really hope you got a picture!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:42 am 
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BhelOfTheBall wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
"Mama where's your camera? I made SANDCASTLE!"

Turns out she pooped in the dining room and made a sand castle out of it by jamming a bucket on it, and was proud enough that she wanted to immortalize it on film.


Wow...that's just...wow, no words. That story is worth its weight in gold for any time you need to embarrass her as a teenager. Really hope you got a picture!


+1 Yummy!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:21 pm 
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I've been waiting for Phineas to be big enough to say something I could post here. At seventeen months, that day has finally come.

Phineas just started saying multi-word phrases. His first one was "Mommy cookbooks," so I know his priorities are straight.

A few more:

As I was throwing out a bag of dog poop: "Bye bye stinky."

Me: What would you like for dinner. Beans, tofu or burger?
Phineas: Cookie!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:33 pm 
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"Mummy, you need new hair"
"I do?"
"Yeah, your hair doesn't look beautiful"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:16 pm 
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Tell him if he talks smack like that again he's gotta angry horde of PPKers to deal with.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:22 pm 
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Ha! He's kinda right though, my hair is up in the craziest bun/ponytail hybrid right now with wispy bits sticking out at all angles. I think he really meant I need to wash it... But damn, son. "Not beautiful" is pretty harsh coming from a kid who just finished declaring himself a "lovely princess" after putting a toy cake pan on his head.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:13 am 
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"all white people do is listen to Blink 182 and get emotional!"
[i had to get a bit grumpy about that one.]

ETA: or maybe i got emotional

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:18 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
Ha! He's kinda right though, my hair is up in the craziest bun/ponytail hybrid right now with wispy bits sticking out at all angles. I think he really meant I need to wash it... But damn, son. "Not beautiful" is pretty harsh coming from a kid who just finished declaring himself a "lovely princess" after putting a toy cake pan on his head.


Put a bundt pan on your head and be a lovely princess too!!!!

(and then post pictures, because the PPK loves Princess Poopieb!)

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:17 pm 
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Lysander on birthday candles: "I want to draw with my birthday crayons!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 1:29 pm 
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torque wrote:
"all white people do is listen to Blink 182 and get emotional!"
[i had to get a bit grumpy about that one.]

ETA: or maybe i got emotional


I can't even tell you how hard I'm laughing right now. There are actual tears rolling down my face.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 5:48 pm 
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We were sitting in a chair by the elevators waiting for my husband to come back from the grocery store after I locked myself out of the room today. Every time someone would come out, V got all excited:

"Another 'ciao'! HI CIAO!"

and if she didn't get a response:

"Hey peoples I said CIAO!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 12:28 pm 
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So I came in from running 16 miles this morning just as the Magician (2) bumped his head on something. Upon seeing me his wail instantly turned to "I want mamaaaaaa!" And this exchange ensued:

Me: *picks him up*
M: *begins to snuggle, then recoils*
M: sweaty mama! Nooooo! I don't want sweaty mama!
M: *wriggles down, then runs to the bathroom and shouts:*
M: mama! The shower is right here!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 6:14 pm 
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And now the Emperor (4) has his turn in this thread. He's paging through a Lego catalog (a favorite pastime) and without looking up at me launches into this soliloquy:

E: You know Santa doesn't really come, mom. He isn't like, real.
E: People just buy presents and wrap them up, that's all.
E: I mean, think about it. For Christmas, I got the nail polish I asked for. "From Santa."
E: Everyone else got other presents, from each other. Not from Santa. Each other.
E: Hmmmmmmm.

This reminded me of another good one of his from a week or two ago:

Me: Hey E, what's your favorite number?
E: (without a pause) Infinity.
E: It's a number you can't ever count to.
E: You just have to count, and count, and count.
E: Until they come and take away your bones in a bag.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 6:22 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
And now the Emperor (4) has his turn in this thread. He's paging through a Lego catalog (a favorite pastime) and without looking up at me launches into this soliloquy:

E: You know Santa doesn't really come, mom. He isn't like, real.
E: People just buy presents and wrap them up, that's all.
E: I mean, think about it. For Christmas, I got the nail polish I asked for. "From Santa."
E: Everyone else got other presents, from each other. Not from Santa. Each other.
E: Hmmmmmmm.

This reminded me of another good one of his from a week or two ago:

Me: Hey E, what's your favorite number?
E: (without a pause) Infinity.
E: It's a number you can't ever count to.
E: You just have to count, and count, and count.
E: Until they come and take away your bones in a bag.


That last one, I think I'm going to use it forever.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 8:27 pm 
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We were driving in the area where my mom died, and I mentioned to my partner that it always makes me sad to think of how she died.

And so now Leela will randomly yell "YOUR MOM IS DEAD!!!!" to me. Its hilarious, except that we now are having an ongoing conversation about death, where she tries to reassure me that my Mom will get better and come home soon. And its so sweet, because she obviously thinks it is troubling that I don't have a mother any more but also just thinks its a perfectly acceptable random non sequitur to yell out in the middle of conversations.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:22 pm 
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I think I've been saying fork too much around Ada.

This weekend she did a rendition of The Wheels on the Bus "The daddies on the bus go fork fork fork...". Then when I was getting her ready for bed tonight and she was trying to zipper up her pajamas she said "What the fork?" and then sung "fork fork fork fork...." and danced around. I couldn't keep a straight face.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:42 pm 
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Scarlett talks nonstop all day long, then as soon as we're around strangers she usually goes silent, which people don't seem surprised by since she isn't even two years old. At Trader Joe's the other day she just stared at the checker while he tried to make conversation with her. Then as we were about to leave, out of nowhere-- "I go peepee and poopy in the potty now. Dogs go peepee and poopy outside. Dogs are good, but I am better. I mean, I love my dog, but I really love MEEEEEE." Super talkative TJs guy didn't know how to respond.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:08 am 
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I passed three children and their carer walking back from school and overheard this exchange.

Child one: Grass is like a jungle.
Child two: Triangle.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 6:35 pm 
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Watching Wheel of Fortune, when Pat asks a contestant how she's doing and she says she's "doing good".

Peter: *Sigh* "BATMAN does good, you're doing WELL" *eye roll*

So that just happened.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 6:46 pm 
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Haha. Congratulations mr and mrs poopie, it's a nerd!

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