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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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choirqueer wrote:
TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
In other news, Beet's had his first real taste of fear. The Jared app. Jared's hilariously shiitakey rendition of "Luna de Xelajú" has never scared a child so much. Raygold's review was, "I not like this song, Crabby," but Beet started shaking, curled up into a ball, and started sobbing. He got so upset, he turned my computer off and unplugged it! I've never seen him like that before. Then he was really laid back and quiet for a long time.
http://www.freeverse.com/iphone-os/product/?id=7016
...And now, when he steps out of line, I can just start singing "Luna de Xelajú" as a punishment. ;D


I found it! Oh wow, poor Beety!


Jared-fear has turned Beetroot into such a well-behaved boy, it is weird! He goes to bed without fussing, he did 65 minutes of school yesterday (and would have done more if Raygold weren't having a writing utensil-inspired meltdown), he helped me tidy their bedroom yesterday...he even told Raygold not to climb on something this morning (I have been asking them for weeks to stop climbing on this stuff with no results and now I have 100% obedience). I can leave the room without fear that they will knock over the TVs or write on the walls. I haven't had to raise my voice or put anybody in the corner or anything. The only vaguely naughty thing he does is unplug my computer when I leave the room. I wonder how long this will last.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:52 am 
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Awwww...my husband just realized I was taking pre-natal vitamins which of course are for breastfeeding (not to mention just a good idea to take during one's childbearing years) and he came up to me holding the bottle with this sweet inquisitive look and asked if there was anything I wanted to share about anything, maybe? When I explained what they were for he was quite crestfallen. So sweet. This is from the man that didn't want any children, and kind of begrudgingly decided that ok we could have ONE. Now he is disappointed that number two isn't already on its way! (I was a little confused about WHY he would think I was keeping it a deep dark secret though, I am not one who wants to or even really can keep a secret!)


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:56 am 
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Awwww! How old is your little one?

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:46 am 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
, "I not like this song, Crabby," but Beet started shaking, curled up into a ball, and started sobbing.

it's funny what some chords can do!
FC had the same visceral response to the song-inside-the-song in "Joshua Giraffe", a raffi song [Nothing can go wrong-o, i'm in the Congo!], and to an instrumental song from the Lion King (the stampede scene song, if i recall correctly). To this day hearing the latter will make her shudder.
i would be curious to see what they would draw if you asked them to draw or color what the song sounds like to them.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 11:20 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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torque wrote:
TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
, "I not like this song, Crabby," but Beet started shaking, curled up into a ball, and started sobbing.

it's funny what some chords can do!
FC had the same visceral response to the song-inside-the-song in "Joshua Giraffe", a raffi song [Nothing can go wrong-o, i'm in the Congo!], and to an instrumental song from the Lion King (the stampede scene song, if i recall correctly). To this day hearing the latter will make her shudder.
i would be curious to see what they would draw if you asked them to draw or color what the song sounds like to them.

The song they played during the end credits of The Last Unicorn did it for me when I was a kid! I was bawling in the movie theater. My mom was totally baffled.

I think in this case, for Raygold, it's that the guy was singing really off-key (not on purpose, which is why the whole Jared-thing is so funny) -- Raygold seems to be much more aware of that sort of thing than Beetroot and has a really good sense of pitch; Raygold also told my tone-deaf husband that he is "a bad singer." (He is, but I didn't expect a 2 year old to figure that out.)
With Beet, I think it was the combination of the animation (a floating, lo-fi singing smiley face) and the bad singing and it all just scared the shiitake out of him.

Beetroot has been behaving marvellously since the Jared incident. He is so creeped out by Jared that he is on his best behaviour ever. He is still just as happy and energetic, but has stopped climbing on things (things I have been begging him not to climb on for months -- and he makes sure Raygold doesn't climb on them either) and goes to bed without much fuss. He has promised that if I don't play the Jared app again, he will behave forever!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:37 pm 
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Oh annasrobie, that is adorable.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 3:29 pm 
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That's so funny, annasrobbie. My mom and my sister both wigged when they saw a bottle prenatals sitting out in my bathroom.

I just need to vent a little, but not about my kid. My husband is away for a week and I wanted to tackle some house projects while he's gone. So my parents (very sweetly) came to stay here and help with Inez so I can work on stuff. Well. They showed up like four hours after they said they would yesterday, which is not a huge deal but was kind of annoying. Today's plan was for them to take Inez to the library and to lunch, giving me a chunk of uninterrupted time. My mom has just been puttering all morning and then went back to bed (?) and finally made motions like she was getting ready to go just in time for Inez to hit the nap wall and go into mamamamamama mode. Library's going to be a bust. I'll be lucky if I get an hour or two to work before I have to take Inez to her swim lesson in the evening. Now they're being super loud while I try to get Inez down for a nap. Arrrggghhh. I feel like screaming and I also feel like an entitled jackass because I know I'm lucky to have help even if it's not perfect.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:17 pm 
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torque wrote:
FC had the same visceral response to the song-inside-the-song in "Joshua Giraffe", a raffi song [Nothing can go wrong-o, i'm in the Congo!]


Oh my god, ME TOO! I used to freak out and make my parents fast-forward that song anytime it came on. shiitake, as soon as I read this I actually started shaking a little! I haven't even thought about that in years! Gyuuuuuhhhhhhh!

I had the same thing with the "Teddy Bear Picnic" song...the one that's got the most cheerful lyrics about teddy bears having a lovely picnic but it's all in a creepy minor key and auuugghhhhh it still kind of freaks me out a little!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:21 pm 
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OH! I just went and listened to part of the song...now I remember why it upset me. It wasn't just that freaky section in the middle...the whole song is about a baby giraffe who's trapped in a zoo and "wasting away" and his mommy doesn't even bathe him. Even as a little kid, that stuff really upset me!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 5:27 am 
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So random thing about the "Teddy Bears Picnic" song--you know there's a line in it that goes "watch them, catch them unawares!" and when I was little, I thought they were saying "watch them catch their underwear!"


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:00 am 
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oh god, the teddy bear picnic. that song just made the hairs on MY arm go up.
i dont remember the words of joshua giraffe but just from what you say i know if i listen to it i will probably cry, so instead i will go back to youtube for another shot of that Pope Song, which has been like Sunshine in a Bag for me these last few days.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:17 pm 
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As kind of an offshoot of the "how has being a parent changed you?" thread I'm wondering how others feel about their family size now. How many (if any) kids did you think you wanted, and how many do you plan to have now? How come? age, experience, finances, health?

Mr. Scandi and I used to say we thought 3 was a good number. We just had our first and even on the cruddy days I know I want more. I know that three might not be possible considering finances, future fertility, and age, but that's our hope.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:42 pm 
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I always said 2 definitely, most probably 3, but now that we just had our second and it took many ups & downs with fertility for both, I do not know where we stand on a 3rd. Definitely not right now though. Once Eli is 1.5-2yrs old or so, we shall discuss. We have 3yrs or so to plan this/get pregnant, because I want to be done by 35yrs old. Financially its not possible now and Eli is a grumparoo :P

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:40 pm 
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I'm currently pregnant with #3. Mr Crabby and I would like at least 4, but preferably more (once we decided to have kids, we knew we wanted a lot). My second pregnancy was so tough, if they were all like that (they're not, fortunately, this one has been a doddle, mostly), I'm not sure I'd want to go for more than 4. It's also taken me a lot longer (because of breastfeeding) to get pregnant again each time (we got pregnant straight away with #1) -- we'll see how old I am after #4 and go from there (my gran had her 7th kid at 45, so I'm not *too* worried; I'm 36 now and pretty damn healthy if I do say so myself).

As for finances, we have a very humble income, but the kids don't cost us much money at all. I'm really not sure why everyone says kids are so expensive. We do live simply and get stuff like our clothes second-hand and live cheaply, but I don't feel like we're missing out. I mean, I don't have diamonds and Manolo shoes, but I have a good juicer and am probably going to buy a modestly priced ice cream maker and a pressure cooker at some point (so it's not like I don't spend any money).

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:38 pm 
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i wanted 1. i got two. we had Mr T snipped almost immediately and that was that. I was an only child for most of my childhood and really didn't see the attraction of more than one. (my siblings were brought about "in case something happened" to me, which ended up just creating two different generations of children and to this day we aren't close, as we're 8 and 10 years apart, and I left when I was 16 so I really missed their personalities developing). i also didn't think it was fair environmentally to have more than one child.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:59 pm 
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I used to want 2ish. After E was born, I was about 80/20 in favor of just stopping at him. Pretty much unless I was ovulating, I didn't want a second. Now, ever since M was born... Literally since the day he was born... I've had the most intense and bizarre longing for a third. Not in the near future, but eventually. Some days it's worse than others.

My partner's done at 2 and obviously the person who doesn't want another "wins" in this case. I don't think it's ever right to make someone have a child they don't want.

But I don't really know how to stop feeling sad about it. I'm hoping it's something that will just pass in time. (Hey! I say to myself. Why be so upset about this now? You have the whole rest of your life to feel sad about this.)

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 3:05 pm 
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I have a slight desire for a 3rd but I'm probably not gonna go there because a)this 2nd one has been more difficult than I expected and I just don't know if we can handle going through this very little sleep situation again and b) I would have to have a THIRD c-section. Sigh. That just doesn't sound like a great idea to me (or my partner, who apparently regularly fears my demise and being left with kids to raise by himself!) And yes, I wanted a VBAC badly at my 2nd birth but after the whole scar-almost-bursting fiasco, that;s not happening with a 3rd.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 3:58 pm 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
As for finances, we have a very humble income, but the kids don't cost us much money at all. I'm really not sure why everyone says kids are so expensive.


You know, I used to say this same thing! When they are younger, it's so much easier. I could never understand the whole thing about how much money kids cost! Until about middle school age (12ish), then things got real. It's basically like hemorrhaging money all the time to keep up with minimal stuff for school and sports and all of that.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:08 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
It's basically like hemorrhaging money all the time to keep up with minimal stuff for school and sports and all of that.

What kind of stuff do you have to buy? (Seriously, I have no idea.)

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:33 pm 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
Kelly wrote:
It's basically like hemorrhaging money all the time to keep up with minimal stuff for school and sports and all of that.

What kind of stuff do you have to buy? (Seriously, I have no idea.)

really, it doesn't even matter, after a while you don't even ask, you just take All the Money and just throw it in the air.

[private school, math lessons, clothes, hobbies requiring expensive materials, sports, travel, cell phones, music downloads, makeup and hair stuff, endless requests for junk food and repeated expectations for eating out all the time. new bicycle, electric guitar, travel expectations.... standardized tests and homeschooling materials.... also, your child is growing and is capable of eating $50 worth of pretty much anything at one sitting.]

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:42 pm 
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Well around here the cost of living is REALLY high. Food is expensive for us. Child care is also super expensive and that's why my partner is staying home for now. We also have family across the country and we like to travel. Plane tickets are so awful.

Now I'm not going to try to keep up with the Jones, because we decided to have careers that are important to us but don't pay well and I'm interested in living without a ton of crepe, but there are so many great opportunities for classes, sports, camps, etc, that most kids do where we live. And I worry about college.

Basically we need to move somewhere else but then I would probably have a worse paying job so it might even out.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:16 am 
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I was thinking about this a lot last night and I think a lot of it is a question of what you want for your kids vs. how many kids you want and which is the priority for you. It's definitely a very personal choice. We're walking the poverty line income-wise, so we can't afford lots of travelling or big vacations, mobile phones, lots of lessons & hobbies, etc. and my kids are never going to each get their own room. Our lifestyle suits us just fine and we're very happy, but I know a lot of people don't want to live the way we do. And that's fine, too!

I think pretty much all of the parents of large (4+) kid families that I know are in similar financial situations as ours.* My friend (bun in the oven for baby #6!! squee!!) posted this link on her facebook page earlier this week (not her blog): http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/2012/10/staying-at-home-with-your-kids-when-you-can-barely-afford-it.html
It's not the best link by any means, but it's an example of how one family makes it work.

* My gran had 7 kids and she was, too. She died a few years ago, but the last time I saw her, we were talking about how she'd had 7 kids and how cool I thought that was and she said proudly, "and they never knew we were poor!" I thought that was so sweet.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:29 am 
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Yeah, I think we will be in the same boat. Like I said, we'd like 3 and so there's just some built-in expense there. On the other hand, we lived for years on grad student plus starving artist salaries, so we are not big luxury people.

When I was a kid--like, 8-- my parents told me up front they wouldn't be able to pay for college and I would need a scholarship to go, but that you could get scholarships by being good at something. I think the expectation from a young age that I should and could find something to be really good at was hugely formative for me. That's an idea I wouldn't mind passing on to my kids, although we are already trying to save college money.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:46 am 
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ScandinaVegan wrote:
my parents told me up front they wouldn't be able to pay for college and I would need a scholarship to go, but that you could get scholarships by being good at something. I think the expectation from a young age that I should and could find something to be really good at was hugely formative for me. That's an idea I wouldn't mind passing on to my kids, although we are already trying to save college money.

this is what we've made super clear to FC (after it was made super clear to me as a kid). we are just managing to pay for school [the public system here is so bad that if she wants to go to college, she has to go to a private here] but paying for college is just not even a possibility. Especially college in the US and Japan, where she wants to go.

We're doing okay and FC does even try to help out with expenses (she's making and selling cosplay thingies. it makes almost no money but i was working when i was her age, and i think she feels sad that she can't here so we're helping her set up her internet biz).
But the really, really hard time was back when I wanted to work, daycare was exorbitant, health insurance was even more, and we lived on the generosity of others who gave us baby clothes and things. if we hadn't benefited from public resources (due to having a special needs kid) we never would have gotten the breaks on daycare and health insurance, i never would have been able to work, and things would have been even worse. With an older kid, we could simply just not spend the money on the extras [or even the public school] and it would be miserable for the kid, but it would probably all work out OK.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:02 am 
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i grew up "poor" (my parents were missionaries, so we were poor by choice, really) and we lived very simply. there were 4 of us and my parents saved and sent us to college. it's not quite as expensive in canada as it is elsewhere, but i'm still pretty impressed that they did it. we certainly never lacked for anything. honestly, i think it would have been better for me if there had been an expectation i pay for more of college, because i don't think i appreciated my free ride very much. i did work through all of highschool and university, which was good, but i certainly did not get just how much money my parents spent on me until i was much older!

we're done at two for time reasons, rather than money. i want an interesting and challenging career, and i just don't see how it's possible to have a lot of kids (even two is stretching my imagination!) and not have a least one parent give up a fair amount in terms of career advancement. i am already scared about next year, and how we're going to juggle all the things that need juggling. i want to go back to school and get my masters too, and eventually have time and money for an art studio, my partner has hobbies he'd like to spend more time on, and so on.

i'm not completely opposed to having a third, and have decided to revisit the idea in about 4 years time... but i have a feeling that i'll get there and be happy with where our life is at.


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