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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:26 pm 
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sofrito wrote:
Guys, I found this piece to be very helpful - it's a really nice summary of the do's and don'ts of pregnancy. Sorry if already posted somewhere! http://m.jezebel.com/5960255/how-to-hav ... nancy-ever


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:27 pm 
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The 12 year old is in the bathroom singing a song about artisan vegan cheese. There seems to be dance moves involved from the noise.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:43 am 
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Haha! I nearly woke Freya with my snort.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:02 am 
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How does such a tiny person have such big poops? You would think that I, the resident pregnant person, would be clogging the toilet all the time. Nope. Ada clogs the toilet probably every other day. Is my kid the only one who does this?


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:07 am 
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tzipi has huge poops too. i dunno where it all comes from. doesn't clog the pipes, but we have very resilient plumbing.

it's gotten better since we started the incentive of a chocolate treat every time she does a poop in the potty. i swear to god she's now rationing them out now, because she's gone from pooping one massive poop every day, to at least twice a day smaller ones.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:05 pm 
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Raygold doesn't ever seem to eat much, but he has full-sized poops, usually at least twice a day!!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:08 pm 
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The Emperor poops SO much and his poops are always huge. 3x day is probably his average. I would think there was something wrong with him were it not for the fact that his father is the same way.

He doesn't clog the toilet here but I've noticed this toilet is surprisingly difficult to clog. At our old house, he would have for sure.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:12 pm 
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Not sure where to put this. It's a vent, but I also want advice.

My mother is flat out the craziest person I have ever known. She got married when I was 18, for the third time, to a man who molested me and one of my sisters years earlier (when she was having an affair with him and we had to go to gymnastics with his kids who didn't know he was having an affair) (oh yeah and his son also molested my sister). When I was a teenager, I also found thousands of pictures of child porn on his computer. I have sort of reconciled with this man, because he has apologized repeatedly and profusely, and does seem to truly care about me and want to repair our relationship. I still don't like being in the same room with him, though. My mother has never even acknowledged that any of this happened to me, and to my sister, she's said in so many words, "why don't you just get over it." My mother also lied to me about the identity of my biological father until I was 19. Recently she talked my husband's ear off for several hours explaining why it was actually my fault that I was lied to (I assumed too much - like that my mother's husband, who was on my birth certificate, and whose last name I had, who contacted me several times while I was growing up acting like he was my father, was actually my father - I know, a crazy assumption) and in any case, that I am such a weirdo because other adopted kids (my mother's second husband adopted me - and my fake biological father had to give up his parental rights for that to happen!) just accept their adopted parents as their "parents" and don't give a shiitake about their biological parents (and this woman is a therapist, folks). In these instances and many others, my mother has shown a total denial of reality and an incredible degree of narcissism. Beyond all that, my mother was just a neglectful and cold-hearted person throughout my childhood. I have always been just an extension of her, because everything is about her and everything she does is really very wise, don't you know.

Needless to say, I do not have a ton of warm fuzzies for the woman.

But on the other hand, she seems to be a much better grandmother than she was a mother. And I want my child to have a strong connection to my extended family, which would be tough if she doesn't have a connection to my mother. And also it's sad not to have grandparents. My grandmother was so, so important to me (Malka is named for her).

So before I had Malka, I sat her down and said, this is the condition for your watching Malka: my stepfather can never be alone with her. To which she replied, "well, he's going to have a relationship with her!" But she basically acquiesced. Many months have passed and my mother has babysat many times. So first, she has definitely left Malka alone with my stepfather, even leaving the house with them alone in the house. Second, my stepfather is trying to get Malka to call him some endearing grandfatherly term and my mother is encouraging that, and I will forking die before that happens. Third, my husband and I are just increasingly uncomfortable with how affectionate my stepfather is with Malka, even if it would be totally normal affection from a non-pedophile, such that it now pains us for Malka to be in the same room with him. Fourth, she had the above conversation with my husband last week, which, while totally unrelated to this problem, makes me want to stab her in the eyes.

So what would you do? I already have a bunch of forked up parental issues. The only father figure I really talk to is my biological father, who I don't even know that well and who lives across the country. It would be really painful to lose my mother also, even with these issues, and also really inconvenient (like, that babysitting! and the family events we'd have to be at together! and sometimes she gives me money and we are super broke!). On the other hand, I feel like she's gone too far and I have to do some firmer boundary setting, which I'm not sure how to do (hence, the not talking to jackass fathers thing). Help!


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:28 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I don't remember off the top of my head - but Malka is still in diapers, yes? I'm assuming he would have to change her if he were watching her alone, and I feel like that would be a really bad idea for someone with such a history.

It seems to me that, as much as you'd like this relationship to be pleasant, your mother and stepfather aren't respecting you. I don't think it's healthy to be in a relationship like that, even if it's your own family. Personally, I would not along my own child to be involved either. It just seems like if your mother is unwilling to accept what happened to you, she will definitely allow it to happen again. How can you know that your daughter is safe when someone with pedophiliac tendencies is staying alone with her? I'm sure he's worked hard to overcome it, but allowing him to care for a little girl without someone there with him is risky.

I know you said you want to keep the relationship, but I would suggest taking some time to really evaluate what you're okay with and not okay with in the relationship. Yes, free baby-sitting is nice, and so is money when you really need it. But is it worth the psychological stress? If you can't trust someone to respect your wishes (ie, do not let stepfather watch daughter, and then she allows it - obviously without your consent), is she really someone you want Malka looking up to? Of course, I'm only hearing one side of the story, so maybe she is so incredibly wonderful apart from these things that you'd want to have her as a grandmother figure. If it were me, I would worry about my kids internalizing that unhealthy relationships are normal (from their watching the grandmother/mother interaction).

I hope you are able to work something out, and I hope I didn't say anything to offend! (I definitely did not intend for that to happen, but of course, there are no non-verbal cues in text!)

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:31 pm 
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So many hugs to you. That sounds like a very hard situation, and honestly my first reaction is that your mom violated your boundaries and instructions to never leave Malka with your stepfather, and that should be reason enough not to leave Malka there alone again. That said, I understand the appeal of a good relationship with family. Its hard to write people off, no matter how much reason they give us to.

Free babysitting doesn't seem worth the risk. Do you feel like he is"grooming" Malka by using the pet names etc? Can you limit your time with them and never leave M alone with your mother and her husband? Your inlaws adore her, and they baby sit for free, right? So maybe have them do the babysitting and just let a few months go by to clear your mind and figure out what is next.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:49 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Okay, first of all, if you think there is a snowball's chance in forking hell of that paedopheliac creep molesting your baby, KEEP HIM AWAY AT ALL COSTS. Dear god, if he is a known child molester with no remorse, you do not want to risk your baby's well-being.

Secondly, as someone estranged from their family, I know how hard it is. It's like we're hard-wired to want to love our parents and just keep forgiving them and turning a blind eye and making excuses. I haven't spoken to my parents in nearly 3 years and I still think about them pretty much every day and wonder what it would be like if they came to visit and if they would think my kids were as funny as I think they are. It gets easier, though, and it was definitely the best decision I ever made. I still have the occasional nightmare about my mom berating me (that's what she loved to do).

Part of the reason the big falling out with my family happened is after my maternal grandmother died, my aunt found a diary my gran kept after she'd had a falling out with my mother. It was basically a diary about how awful my mom was to me (and even my sister to some extent, although they really favour her). All my life, my mom acted like she was a great mom and that everything she did was rational and that I was mentally off and stuff and that I never appreciated all that she did for me. My dad covered for her, too, and still does. So does my sister, but they are totally bankrolling her (bought her 2 new cars, take her on big vacations, went in halfsies on a house, give her money, etc. -- they sometimes tried to do that to me, but would find a lame reason to renege or she would just dangle the carrot to try to get me to play their game -- she knows we don't have a lot of money and likes to exploit that). My mom also liked to tell people, like my husband and any of my friends and acquaintances she could talk to, how I exaggerate my childhood and how it's never as bad as I say it was (even when I haven't said anything about it to them -- she even drunk dialled one of my college professors), so hearing about my grandmother's diary was so, so validating. It wasn't all in my head like they said.

Anyway, one of the most disturbing things in the diary was that my mom told my grandmother that if anything happened to my dad, she would kill me and my sister and the dog and herself. I am so forking glad my dad didn't get hit by a bus or something! I told my sister what my aunt had told me (because my sister was pregnant and my mom was going to be the babysitter) and my sister laughed like it was really funny.
Then my sister and parents started telling everyone I have false memories and that I'm crazy. My aunt with my gran's diary won't talk to me any more because my mom found out what she told me and drunk dialled her in the middle of the night and bitched her out to high heaven. (I had promised not to tell my sister what my aunt found in the diary, but I thought I was doing the right thing by warning her that my mom had talked about possibly killing us.)

I loved my grandmothers, too, SO MUCH -- I dream about them somewhat regularly and they both died in 2009 -- and I would love for my kids to have what I did, but my mom is never going to be like either of my grandmothers. She's too drunk, too mean, and too crazy. And totally devoid of the love they had for me. She acted like she totally loved Beetroot, but then she would just get drunk the whole time she was around us and berate me constantly (both in public and in front of my kid).

So anyway, my advice is to keep your mom at some kind of a distance, even though it will probably hurt. It's safer for you mentally and safer for your baby physically because of your creepy step-dad.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:58 pm 
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I'm sorry but the first paragraph of your post basically makes it sound like you know what you should do. Why leave Malka with "the craziest person I have ever known?" And good Lard, with a pedophile that she won't acknowledge is a pedophile!
I understand it's your mother, and how important a grandmother figure for Malka is to you, but none of that will matter at all if Malka is harmed in any way, right? Believe me, I know the allure of free babysitting is great but I would advise against leaving Malka with them. I can somewhat understand wanting Malka to have the whole extended family experience, but you state that you don't even like being in the same room as the stepfather.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:59 pm 
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Yikes, CC, that is terrible! I am so sorry for all you've been through!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:20 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Yikes, CC, that is terrible! I am so sorry for all you've been through!

Aw, shucks. I'm really grateful for three things: 1) I didn't get the crazy gene (it runs in the family for sure), 2) My dad never got hit by a bus, 3) I finally had the courage to let go and cut ties (having kids helped; I didn't want them to see the way my mom berates me, etc. and think that was okay). I really do think I turned out well in the end (despite everything) and I'm so happy with the family I do have (meaning the kids and my husband, but also my dad's side of the family, other than my dad, are really tight and stay in touch even though we live far away and they are all so nice to me (and not fans of my mom, although they are mostly too polite to say that outright)).

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:41 pm 
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Honestly, Ariann, this sounds like one of those relatively rare cases where the parent (you) might be too close to the situation and the people involved to make good decisions about it. I think if someone told you that they were going through what you wrote above, the solution would be as obvious as it is to most of us reading that - don't ever let a little girl alone with your mother and step-father.

I don't doubt that it's tough and can't imagine going through that, and I know being able to rely on grandparents for help with childcare is extremely helpful, but you'll manage without them. That doesn't mean Malka can't have a relationship with her grandparents: you can still go over there, obviously, and do things together as a family - but in your shoes I don't think I'd want her alone with either of them.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:25 pm 
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annak wrote:
Honestly, Ariann, this sounds like one of those relatively rare cases where the parent (you) might be too close to the situation and the people involved to make good decisions about it. I think if someone told you that they were going through what you wrote above, the solution would be as obvious as it is to most of us reading that - don't ever let a little girl alone with your mother and step-father.


Exactly. Nothing is worth risking Malka's safety.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:36 pm 
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I think the no babysitting is clear, but the other question is whether you feel comfortable even continuing to have him in the same room. Is your stepfather is a hebephile (11 to 14, so Malka isn't at direct risk - at worst he is grooming her for later) or a true pedophile (where she would actively be at risk now). I am very risk-averse, so take this with a grain of salt, but I have worked with people who were molested at family gatherings, where the person doing it never had them alone (one person had an uncle who would fondle her genitals as she sat on his lap, and her parents were present).

Also, can you could get some therapy or other support for yourself? Its a really hard thing to deal with alone. I know your mother is a therapist, so you don't have the best track record with them, but perhaps someone good could help you detangle some of your emotions. I don't think its unusual for us to want relationships with our parents, and I don't think its unusual for people to hope that they can get a closer relationship to their parents, through their child. I know I struggle with that one.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:37 pm 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:

Secondly, as someone estranged from their family, I know how hard it is. It's like we're hard-wired to want to love our parents and just keep forgiving them and turning a blind eye and making excuses. I haven't spoken to my parents in nearly 3 years and I still think about them pretty much every day and wonder what it would be like if they came to visit and if they would think my kids were as funny as I think they are. It gets easier, though, and it was definitely the best decision I ever made. I still have the occasional nightmare about my mom berating me (that's what she loved to do).



This is so similar to my situation! It's been four years. Sometimes I start to feel guilty and fall into that same old trap in my own head, but it just takes talking to someone about it (my husband is really good at being honest and is often called a crasshole, so that helps a lot in this situation!) to remind me why I made this decision. She will never be someone that I trust or feel safe with, and if I don't feel like BabyEnchilada would be safe around her it's best for him not to have any relationship with her at all.

So many hugs to you! Listen to your gut and trust yourself.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:01 pm 
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No, I would not want her to have any contact with him or your mother. Extended family that are dangerous are not worth having.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:46 pm 
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I don't have much to add other than what everyone else has already said. I would never ever leave Malka alone with either one of them. It's not worth the risk at all. And if you already feel uncomfortable with how affectionate your stepfather is with her when you're in the same room I think that you need to not ignore that. Whether that means setting up further boundaries when you visit or just not letting him around Malka at all.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:08 pm 
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From a looking backward point of view, I learned fairly recently that a family member whom I spent a great deal of time alone with molested someone else in my family-- prior to me spending all the time with that person-- and all the grown ups knew this. This person never did molest me, but still, when I think about it I feel... astounded. Bad astounded. In a family that was characterized by breathtakingly poor decision making, I still feel like this was... Over the top irresponsible.

(Actually, the way I found out about this? Was that another family member offered this by way of explanation for why someone else abused me. "Oh, well, you know such and such was molested by so and so..." Argh. I have a hard time feeling compassion about these people sometimes.)

So my advice re: letting them be alone with your kid is that it's not something i'd do.

But, as a parent, I also understand that you want to give your family the chance to have a relationship with your kid. I really, really get that... It's a hard situation to be in. I don't think I'd be able to cut ties off with them entirely personally, but you gotta come down on the boundaries at least.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:32 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
I think the no babysitting is clear, but the other question is whether you feel comfortable even continuing to have him in the same room. Is your stepfather is a hebephile (11 to 14, so Malka isn't at direct risk - at worst he is grooming her for later) or a true pedophile (where she would actively be at risk now). I am very risk-averse, so take this with a grain of salt, but I have worked with people who were molested at family gatherings, where the person doing it never had them alone (one person had an uncle who would fondle her genitals as she sat on his lap, and her parents were present).


I hadn't thought of that. Good points. Yikes.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 10:30 pm 
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I just really needed reasonable people to say all those things, because they're what's in my head, but I am definitely too close to it all and after YEARS of therapy I have never been able to get out of the shitty power dynamic I am in with my mother, which influences all of this. It took me having a child to even talk about any of this with her and to attempt to set any boundaries at all. I mean, my stepfather still hugs me and I am not able to say no to it, so that is where my head is, it's like I am still 12 years old when I am around them. I kind of want to make my husband do the laying down of the law, but I don't know that he's willing, he doesn't want to be the one responsible for ending our relationship.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 10:57 pm 
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I don't blame you at all for being torn about the situation. I think it's amazing that you've been able to get the relationship you have with them to the point it is.

I am, obviously, with everyone else on this. And I think it's important for you to take a hard line with them on the grandfatherly nickname issue. They should feel amazingly privileged that ou are even remotely allowing any level of relationship with your daughter, and if you say a nickname isn't allowed, then that should be respected. Along with all other parameters you lay down.

I wonder if you could get someone who has no connection to your mom or her husband to act as a mediator or to speak for you, at least to get the ball rolling with the conversation? Maybe something like that could make it at least a bit easier for you, if not more comfortable?

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:20 pm 
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oh ariann, it must be hard being in this situation. but i agree with everyone else. keep malka the hell away from them. especially your stepfather. if he *does* do something to malka, not only will you and malka be emotioanlly destroyed, but she will come to the realisation, sooner or later, that *you* knew your stepfather was a danger and that *you* left her at his mercy. you will be put in the same basket as your mom and your stepfather. keep her safe <3


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