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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:52 pm 
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Tlish, that is AMAZING and young for Leela to be doing so well with the potty! Go Leela! What's your nighttime solution though? I ask because D is still wetting her bed 3-4 nights a week and I'm looking for any advice, even from a barely-2yr old!

yeah that whole "you must make A LOT of money" for partner to be able to stay home shiitake is amazing LOLtastic. In my experience, full-time daycare costs over $2k a month. So, I live in one of the most expensive cities in the country and don't make much money and yep we don't have a $3k a month apartment, take expensive kiddie classes, travel much or have a lot of savings. We're still pretty ok. When we first got pregnant, my partner intended to keep working and we had some ideas about finding a friend to nanny, but the company he'd been at for years was very mismanaged and work was slowing down drastically so he ended up staying home. Had he stayed at his job, work was dribbling in so slowly that he'd have been just covering the cost of an inexpensive nanny and we both preferred the person our kid would spend 10 hours a day with to be one of us.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:49 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Did you read the NYT piece on childcare costs? http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/20 ... care/?_r=0

Quote:
Many talked about the shock of day care costs, which can eat up 30 percent of one income in a two-salary couple, Professor Misra says.In 35 states and D.C., even the cost of center-based day care (let alone a nanny) is higher than the cost of a year of a public college. More anecdotally, day care costs for middle-class New Yorkers can easily equal from $25,000 to $30,000 per child. In New York, child care is the single greatest expense among low-income families in the city, surpassing both food and housing.


Quote:
The cost and the scarcity of day care has helped create what the sociologist Joya Misra calls “the motherhood penalty.” While women without children are closer to pay equity with men, women with children are lagging behind because they find that working doesn’t always make sense after considering the cost of child care.


And for night-time wetting, I don't know if anything I say could be helpful. I hate to jinx myself, but L is pretty much dry overnight (and that may change), so for now she goes to sleep without a diaper on and I sneak one on as she sleeps. Its almost always dry in the morning, and I try and get her on the toilet first thing, otherwise she probably will pee on the floor. When she was refusing to wear a diaper and still peeing at night I just covered her section of the bed with prefolds :)

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:11 pm 
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I met with my cousin and his wife today and agreed to start keeping their baby 2-4 days a week starting next month! She'll be 3 months old. We NEED the extra money, but man I really hope I don't regret this. I'm most worried about making it work with my baking business, but I think it will be okay.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:18 pm 
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Oh and thanks for the kind words about Leela! My stepmother asked how L was doing with the potty, and when I told her she said "Oh, my grand-daughter A. just decided at 18 months that she was done with diapers and that was it! But don't worry, not all kids are as advanced as A is! I am sure L will learn eventually." Sanctigrammy.

Good luck Poopie! I wish you a fun time with your niece and hope that her naps coincide well with your baking times!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:18 pm 
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If we put our kid back in daycare full time it would cost us more monthly than our rent. Childcare costs make me sick to my stomach to think about.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:31 pm 
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One of the reason's I'm a stay at home mom is because every cent I made would go straight to day care. I probably wouldn't even make enough to pay for all of the day care! I wish I could say i'm a SAHM because my husband makes a ton of money! :) We make just enough to live comfortably and have one vacation every year. Once both kids are full day school age I'll be going back to work in some fashion or another. I even have a chance to pick up some work this fall/winter, hopefully, as long as my parents can watch the kids.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:33 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
I met with my cousin and his wife today and agreed to start keeping their baby 2-4 days a week starting next month! She'll be 3 months old. We NEED the extra money, but man I really hope I don't regret this. I'm most worried about making it work with my baking business, but I think it will be okay.


My husband is sorta joking that I should offer to watch our friends baby when she goes back to work in January. I'm not sure I'm up to that! Good luck to you though!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:50 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Oh and thanks for the kind words about Leela! My stepmother asked how L was doing with the potty, and when I told her she said "Oh, my grand-daughter A. just decided at 18 months that she was done with diapers and that was it! But don't worry, not all kids are as advanced as A is! I am sure L will learn eventually." Sanctigrammy.


oh good grief <eyeroll> I mean, I'm sure it happens but...


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 4:30 pm 
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Audrey wrote:
Tlish, that is AMAZING and young for Leela to be doing so well with the potty!


No kidding! I am so jealous, because at almost 3 Walter is actively opposed to using the potty. He knows exactly what is supposed to happen, but he hates it. (I've completely backed off for the time being.) I just can't see this ever happening without bribes, and I really don't want to resort to bribes... GO LEELA!

Regarding daycare costs: I love being a stay-at-home mom (really! We have so much fun!), but the cost of daycare relative to my earnings made the decision to stay home a no-brainer. I liked my job, but not enough to be away from my kid 40+ hours a week and barely break even.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:27 am 
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So Alice started sucking her thumb and she actually put herself to sleep for a nap before! I put her down on the bed for a minute and she started sucking her thumb. A couple of minutes later she was asleep. She did the same thing early yesterday morning when I didn't wake up and nurse her immediately. Ada sucks two of her fingers and does that when she goes to sleep now but never went to sleep as a baby without the boob so this is quite a change.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:28 am 
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And go Leela with the potty! We're not even close to starting.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:28 am 
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It's going to be our first time with a babysitter! I am really excited and really nervous.

Now that school has started again I'm teaching several afternoon/evening classes. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I teach from 4 to 5, too early for Mr. Scandi to come home and watch tiny wu. So we arranged for one of my oldest students (18 and seems to live at the studio) to take care of tiny wu right at the ballet school. There's a courtyard/garden area, and an office/lounge, so they won't be right outside the studio doors. Today Mr. Scandi is coming along to sort of get the ball rolling and help out if needed.

I know it's not that big a deal, but since we live so far from family, tw's never stayed with anyone but us. She's one week shy of 11 months, so we can do this, right? I hope so!


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:04 am 
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You can do it! I love that solution. I have had people watch Malka at my work, too. It's reassuring to have them close.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:39 am 
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Oh, I'm rooting for you. We're at 21 months and thinking that it's time to give a go, but there's not really anyone nearby. One of my mom friends is great and I would totally leave Freya with her, but I'm not sure she's up for it. We're going on holiday to visit my family though in October and I think we might try a run with one of my sisters then. I just know I'm not going to be able to handle that teary "mommy come back" as she tries to reassure herself. Whew.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2013 1:29 pm 
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So here's the update. Wednesday was a fail in terms of Daddy leaving, but a success in terms of tiny wu making friends with Amalie (her sitter). And on Thursday, we both waved cheerfully and left together, with Mr. Scandi hanging out inside the studio just in case. tiny wu cried for a couple minutes but then had a good time playing, and managed just over half an hour before kind of falling apart, which is when Mr. Scandi went back in. She settled down again and played some more, but didn't want him to leave.

Overall I think that's pretty good. Of course part of me wishes that she'd just had a fabulous time and not missed us at all. (Then a selfish little mommy part is secretly glad she loves us most of all)! We will keep trying; I'm hopeful that this week she'll make it through the whole hour class. It's definitely nice knowing she's so close by and I do think we'll get there.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2013 4:43 pm 
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Giggle at "loves us most of all". F is going through a big Pappa phase now and I said to Karl the other night that I'm a little bit sad because I want her to love me the *most*. (I'm not proud of it)


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:28 am 
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Today is day one of keeping my... niece? My cousin's daughter? Whatever. She's 12 weeks old, and her mom doesn't go back to work until next week, but she (understandably) wanted to get some stuff done this week before going back, and also I think she's nervous about leaving the baby so she wants to try it out at a time when she can still come back if there's a problem. Today is the first time she's left her with anyone but my cousin for a couple of hours, and bless her sweet heart she (the mom) started crying before she got out the door.

The baby has been great so far - she's in the back room sleeping right now (something I was never able to get poopiebaby to do, so score!).

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:24 pm 
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she is your 2nd cousin

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:25 pm 
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Nope, first cousin once removed I think!
Your son and her are second cousins.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:51 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
Nope, first cousin once removed I think!
Your son and her are second cousins.

Yup, assuming the mother is pb's first cousin, the baby is pb's first cousin once removed (meaning one generation removed.) If the baby grows up to have a baby, that kid would be pb's first cousin twice removed, but would be Peter's second cousin once removed. It gets fantastically confusing when the generations in your family don't line up age-wise at all (my dad had two aunts who were right around his age, so his first cousins were right around my age.)

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:02 pm 
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I have a hard time with the once removed versus second cousin distinction, and that was pretty helpful monkeytoes! So I assume that my husband's nephew (his brother's son) is Leela's first cousin but not removed, right? (even though they are 30 years apart - easily a generation). If he has a child, then that child will be Leela's first cousin once removed, even if they are the same age. But if L has a baby then her child and his will be second cousins. Whoa.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:45 pm 
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Yup, Leela and B's nephew are different generations sociologically speaking, but they are the same generation of B's family because they are both offspring of the same generation. Of course none of it really matters and you can just call all of your cousin-types cousins unless you're trying to draw up a family tree or something.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:02 pm 
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you all lost me now lol

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:17 pm 
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Thanks guys! I looked it up and I think I understand it all now! I was confused for a while there.

Here it is in a nutshell: how ever many generations are between you and your common ancestor, that is the degree of cousins you are. The baby's father and I have one generation (our parents) between us and our common ancestor (our grandparents), so we're first cousins. When there are generational differences between cousins (like with me and the baby), you go with the lesser number of generations between a common ancestor (so still one), and then one degree of removal for each generational difference. So the baby is my first cousin once removed, and her (theoretical) kids will be my first cousins twice removed. Those same (theoretical) kids will be poopieboy's second cousins once removed.

I get it now!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:50 pm 
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I spend holidays with my mother's side of the family comprised of my first cousins (I only have two, amazingly), second cousins (I have a few dozen - my mother had 13 in her generation just on her mother's side), and Malka's third cousins (my second cousins' kids, I think there are still less than a dozen of those altogether). I have one (second) cousin who is almost forty who just does not get the generational relationships. We spend almost every holiday spelling it out for him. Not all brains can do the schematic!


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