| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Sun Sep 21, 2014 7:14 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2358 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 ... 95  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:59 am 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:11 pm
Posts: 1324
Location: Montreal
I really get it, c&s. My husband was out of his field for a year only, and it really set him back in a way he wasn't expecting. Some fields are just like that. It was a bit of a shocker to me that such a small amount of time could do so much damage to your resume.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:14 am 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:51 am
Posts: 2770
Dragonsister, that is really hard. I cannot imagine. Being alone with Grey for six months. Nate is going to haveto go to the UK for a week or two and I have been really upset about being alone for that long.

Littlebird, I hear what you are saying, but I even if I look st it as a combined income that we are spending it still means at the end of the day that we are not making as much. Also, I was kind of at a stand still career wise and not quite sure where i was going to go. I am in an unique position because I am trying to use this time to figure out my next steps, do I want more schooling or just to refocus my career path or be a long term SAHM and once Grey is in school I can focus on my hobbies and things like that. I was not making much money at all and now Nate is making far more than we were making together just a year ago. Hs career has been really taking off, but he has to work a lot of hours so it is nice that one of us is able to focus a lot of attention on Grey. I guess my rambling is basically to say that right now this is what is working for our family and I don't feel like I have set my career path back.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:27 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19047
Location: Cliffbar NJ
I used to be our primary breadwinner, and I still pay the majority of our expenses out of my savings and interest income. Sometimes I feel like one of the lucky ones who has a choice, but other times, it feel like its not really a fair choice between (a) working 80hrs a week, commuting into NYC (3hrs a day - I'm only admitted in NY), and trying to raise a kid you never really see and who spends the bulk of her time in daycare and (b) staying home but having to spend down savings to afford the insanity that is insurance (which should be a basic right).

My last job was 80-100 hour weeks, and I couldn't get pregnant (so many of the women I know had similar issues there). They have "part timers" but those are always people with political connections etc, so even though lots of firms look great on paper for being "family friendly" they aren't in practice. And some of the "part timers" have said that the pressure of the firm means you're getting 50% of your salary to work 60 hours a week from home, because it isn't like the nature of our jobs lets you stop after a certain number of hours.

So I left to get pregnant and now am still not working 1.5 years later. And I would never go back to doing what I did (corporate law) with a kid, though I am always temporarily tempted by the idea of having insurance, enough money to go on vacation, buy my kid a shit-tonne of nice stuff, and not feel like I am always scrimping on things. But at the end of the day, she is only little once, she is probably going to be my only kid, and this time is magical in so many ways. So even though my career path has been "set back" I am fine with it.

I like Mittens point about the fact that when I was working we spent so much money on eating out, commuting etc. My life is so much simpler now, and I think that is pretty nice.

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 2:06 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:48 pm
Posts: 1374
I don't make nearly enough to be considered well off in any sense of the term, but for the state and area where we live and for what I actually do, I get by (but we're not saving at all either, Mittens, and I agree that it's terrifying).

My husband makes so little though and has such crappy hours that I wish we could let him be a househusband. But he makes just enough that we really would be at a loss without it. He's had this week off, and he's absolutely loving spending all that time with Ezra. I'm hoping that in the next few years I get big enough promotions that he could go down to part-time. Of course it would be nice for him not to have to work during these younger years, but it's just not feasible for us at all. Being a stay-at-home mom has never interested me at all, but I know Nate would love it and be great at it.

I really don't know how people who need to pay for daycare do it. Nate's mom watches Ezra while we're at work, and we're still just getting by after all the bills are paid. If we didn't have her, I don't know what we'd do (yes, I said it.)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:05 pm 
Offline
Married to the wolfman
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:49 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
This is the randomness thread so I need to vent about something random: children's clothing.

When the Emperor was a baby, I used to love going to thrift stores and scouring the racks til I found genuinely cute "boy" or neutral clothes. It was a process because so much of the clothing that's "acceptable" for boy babies has sports crepe on it, or trucks, or stupid sayings, or whatever. But it was fun.

I have no patience for it at all now. It seems like the older he gets, the more rigidly divided the girl and boy clothing is. Anything that's not a plain t-shirt in blue brown or grey seems to be girl oriented, have a ruffle tacked on it somewhere, etc. I don't know, it just makes me really forking mad. He is moving into 3/4T size and I am having such a hard time finding him clothes that aren't so ridiculously gendered that they make me see red. By the end of a browse through the racks I am usually so mad I'm almost in tears.

To compensate, I am thrifting cute things that I know are aimed at girl babies and putting them on the Magician. He's a baby, not like he gives a fork, and he looks good in pink.

_________________
"Hummus; a gentleman's vice." -- Mars

coldandsleepy cooks, THE BLOG!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:07 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19047
Location: Cliffbar NJ
I always wonder why parents who are co-parenting with someone they are no longer in a romantic relationship with call themselves single parents. Not from a place of judgement but just curiosity, if anyone knows.

It makes sense that they are both single and parents, but it seems to me that they don't face the same challenges as someone who is the only parent (ie the other bio parent isn't in the picture). If your co-parent is still around, I'd imagine you have someone who helps out with childcare, costs etc.

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:01 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:11 pm
Posts: 1324
Location: Montreal
i know enough people that are in extremely complicated situations that are supposedly still co-parenting that i would probably just assume that either time-wise or financially, they are essentially on their own. i mean, the perfect amicable split, parents both with stable jobs, living near each other... basically all the stuff that would actually have to happen to really co-parent equally... is probably pretty rare. at the very least, the financial strain of having to support two households (especially in cases where one parent was a SAHP) would be a pretty big stress, i'd think. things would definitely be tougher than the average happily partnered parental unit, so maybe that's why people want to label themselves a bit differently?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:16 pm 
Offline
Addicted to B12 Enemas
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:09 am
Posts: 250
I also think it's just the day-to-day stuffl that needs to happen when one parent has physical custody of the child at the moment. My husband travels a fair amount, and when he is on the road, I feel quite a bit like a "single parent" because I am handling all child care responsibilities on my own. When my daughter has to go to the bathroom or when she wakes up in the morning, but I am handling the baby's needs, I have no help and have to figure it out. It feels an awful lot like what single parenting must be (though obviously on a much smaller scale). Perhaps those days/weeks/whatever that one parent has sole responsibility for the child(ren) are what is being described.

_________________
It's not like I'm busting out my boobie tassles and shouting, "BEHOLD! THE MIRACLE OF LIFE!" - TheCrabbyCrafter


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:25 am 
Offline
Dead by dawn
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:54 pm
Posts: 7876
Location: Seattle
I totally consider my mom to have been a single parent after my parents divorced. My dad was never out of the picture and we spent some weekends with him, sometimes a week at a time during the summer. But my mom had the majority of the responsibility. School/homework stuff, medical stuff, discipline stuff, day-to-day stuff were all her domain. And my dad stiffed her for child support most of the time. So, yeah, she had a co-parent in the picture but it's not like he made her role much easier.

_________________
facebook
"The PPK: Come for the pie; stay for the croissants." - tinglepants!
"Cockblocked by Richard Branson- again!" - Erika Soyf*cker


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 3:24 am 
Offline
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:57 am
Posts: 1855
Location: Scotland
coldandsleepy wrote:
I have no patience for it at all now. It seems like the older he gets, the more rigidly divided the girl and boy clothing is. Anything that's not a plain t-shirt in blue brown or grey seems to be girl oriented, have a ruffle tacked on it somewhere, etc. I don't know, it just makes me really forking mad. He is moving into 3/4T size and I am having such a hard time finding him clothes that aren't so ridiculously gendered that they make me see red. By the end of a browse through the racks I am usually so mad I'm almost in tears.

I get all our kids clothes second hand (except for Beetroot's current shoes, which are red girl's shoes with white polka dots (he loves them so much!), because they were an emergency (and the only pair he liked) -- the shoes I'd bought for him the next size up weren't big enough and he threw a fit in the street and wouldn't walk anymore, etc.). All of Raygold's PJs are pink (they were cheaper!).

Anyway, for Beety, I like getting him dress shirts and collared plaid shirts, usually layered over a long-sleeved t-shirt. I guess his clothes are pretty gender neutral because so many people think he is a girl (he does wear girl jeans at the moment -- they looked more hip and were kind of flared). I don't go out of my way to get gender neutral stuff, but I don't like slogan t-shirts (because the slogan is usually something I find dumb or annoying) and don't want all his shirts to be sporty (he has a rugby shirt I bought because it was cute and 50p).
If I ever have a girl, she's going to be wearing all the boys' hand-me-downs. But that's fine because, you're right, a lot of girl clothes seem to be pink/purple and frilly. Where are all the girl clothes that look like stuff I would wear?

Have you noticed second-hand girls clothes seems to totally out number boys? That's where more gender-neutral girls clothes would help me out a bit more.

(OT, I have an adult friend who is so slender, she wears size 14 girl's jeans and hates that nearly all of them have pink and purple flowers embroidered on them.)

_________________
http://reallycrabbycrafter.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheTartanVicar


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:06 am 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:34 pm
Posts: 1041
Location: chicagoland-ish suburbs
littlebear wrote:
Littlebird, I hear what you are saying, but I even if I look st it as a combined income that we are spending it still means at the end of the day that we are not making as much.


Yes, I get it, but I don't FEEL personally responsible for making enough money to pay for daycare. If I make so little that my entire income is less than what we would pay for daycare our joint income is taking a hit instead of growing. I don't have a college degree or work in a competitive field. We'd just make less while I worked retail or something. My husband would absolutely love to stay home with the kids, but he makes so much more money than I could it is not at all an option.

_________________
Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'm superstitious. Whenever I start a new movie I kill a hobo with a hammer."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:11 am 
Offline
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 3846
Location: Panama City, Florida
Guys, I'm trying not to freak out. Shae had a seizure at school on Thursday. He peed his pants in front of his class as he was falling over. He's in 7th grade, so obviously humiliation central for him :( His ped thinks it was stress/lack of sleep -- he had a rough week of FCAT testing at school, some emotional drama the night before and then only slept a few hours. He never sleeps less then 8-9, so his was huge. Dr really thinks it was a one-off and that it may never happen again, and recommended aggressive testing if I happens a second time. But my sisters daughter has pretty severe epilepsy and my best friend died having a seizure when I was 16, so obvs that's all I can think about. I'm sitting here watching him about to play a soccer game and trying not to be the paranoid mom that holds her kid back. He's also facing a friend that saw his pee himself and my heart is breaking for the embarrassment he feels. Intellectually, he knows it wasn't his fault and knows everything will be okay socially after a bit, but of course he's nervous about everyone's reactions now.

One of the hardest things I've faced in parenting. I'd take a zillion teen-trams over this.

_________________
etsy shop: teeny tiny tantrums


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:18 am 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2010 7:06 pm
Posts: 2939
Location: Mke-ish
Kelly, that's so scary! How is Shea handling it? I used to teach high school and we had a freshman who was having seizures for a bit.. the kids were really good with her and showed a lot of concern and sympathy. Hope this was just a one-time thing for you and his peers treat him well!

_________________
*kdub's blog*


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:32 am 
Offline
Seagull of the PPK
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:46 pm
Posts: 8007
Location: Brasil
oh, kelly. i can't imagine how afraid you must be, or how embarrassed kiddo must be. poor sweetie!! glad to hear you let him play soccer anyway and that you're leading with the idea that things will blow over once the next ridiculous teen thing happens - hopefully soon someone else will barf in the cafeteria or something and it will be yesterday's news.

_________________
Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:10 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:13 pm
Posts: 2362
Oh man, that scary. I'm so sorry, Kelly. I hope Shea is okay.

I want to echo Kdub. Kids can be really good about supporting their peers in these types of situations. Surprisingly so. Hopefully the first time he sees the kids that were there they will be cool and he can relax.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:29 pm 
Offline
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 3846
Location: Panama City, Florida
Thanks everybody. He's doing well! Game went fine and his friend didn't notice the peeing in class. He said a lot of kids just thought he threw up (which shae much prefers). He said he feels a lot better about going back to school on Monday. (I kept him home friday to do bloodwork and rest).

We're making a big deal out of how this is just a matter of sleep and not putting too much pressure on himself, will most likely never happen again, but I'm terrified of another seizure. My sister smothers her epileptic daughter though, out of fear, and I won't do that to Shae.

_________________
etsy shop: teeny tiny tantrums


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:00 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19047
Location: Cliffbar NJ
Sounds like you and Shae are handling it perfectly. I am so sorry for the scare - it sounds terrible, especially after losing your best friend to a seizure.

Sending lots of good, healing thoughts <3

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:59 pm 
Offline
Bathes in Braggs
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:48 pm
Posts: 1374
Oh gosh, Kelly, what a scare. I'm really glad Shae's doing better now. Thinking of you all!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:57 pm 
Offline
Sick of Cupcakes
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:35 pm
Posts: 6694
Location: Norristown, PA
Kelly wrote:
Guys, I'm trying not to freak out. Shae had a seizure at school on Thursday. He peed his pants in front of his class as he was falling over. He's in 7th grade, so obviously humiliation central for him :( His ped thinks it was stress/lack of sleep -- he had a rough week of FCAT testing at school, some emotional drama the night before and then only slept a few hours. He never sleeps less then 8-9, so his was huge. Dr really thinks it was a one-off and that it may never happen again, and recommended aggressive testing if I happens a second time. But my sisters daughter has pretty severe epilepsy and my best friend died having a seizure when I was 16, so obvs that's all I can think about. I'm sitting here watching him about to play a soccer game and trying not to be the paranoid mom that holds her kid back. He's also facing a friend that saw his pee himself and my heart is breaking for the embarrassment he feels. Intellectually, he knows it wasn't his fault and knows everything will be okay socially after a bit, but of course he's nervous about everyone's reactions now.

One of the hardest things I've faced in parenting. I'd take a zillion teen-trams over this.


Obviously a YouTube video isn't going to fix this but maybe seeing this would make him feel a little better? It's a rap song by a guy (maybe in his 20s?) about how he had seizures in 7th grade too and now he's an awesome rapper/slam poet.

_________________
Man, fork the gender card, imma come at you with the whole damned gender deck. - Olives
Did you ever think that, like, YOU are a sexy costume FOR a diva cup? - solipsistnation
blog! FB!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:23 am 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:51 am
Posts: 2770
So a couple of the really alternative moms in my alternative moms group were talking about sunscreen and asking each other if they had out it on their babies. One had, one hadn't. I didn't ask them why they wouldn't but now I am super curious. I could t find anything when I googled. I have been using the California baby sunscreen and I plan to continue. I feel this is one of those things that the benefits would outweigh the risks. And our babies are all 8-9 months old, so it isn't like they are newborns. Any thoughts?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:28 am 
Offline
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 3846
Location: Panama City, Florida
I think the recommendation is 6 months for sunscreen. Using a natural one is definitely safe at 8-9 months.

_________________
etsy shop: teeny tiny tantrums


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:59 am 
Offline
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:57 am
Posts: 1855
Location: Scotland
Holy shiitake, Kelly. I'm glad he is okay and I really really hope this is a one-off.

_________________
http://reallycrabbycrafter.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheTartanVicar


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:39 am 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:51 am
Posts: 2770
I don't know if I responded about Shae. Kelly that is really scary. You are such a Greg mom for being there for him. I hope it was a one-off.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:42 am 
Offline
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 3846
Location: Panama City, Florida
Thanks <3

_________________
etsy shop: teeny tiny tantrums


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:35 am 
Offline
Married to the wolfman
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:49 pm
Posts: 5950
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
Holy shiitake, Kelly. I'm glad he is okay and I really really hope this is a one-off.


Exactly this.

About sunscreen: has to do with the chemicals in sunblock and whether or not they're safe for kids. Since babies are smaller, they're more at risk from any chemical danger I guess. When the Emperor was little (up til about 18 months, when we did start using sunblock) he just wore a big sun hat everywhere, long sleeves and pants in light fabrics as long as it wasn't too too hot (usually that's doable here even if it's super sunny), and we avoided being in direct sunlight at peak hours (like 11-1).

I wasn't really super concerned about sunblock chemicals, I just think it is a huge pain in the asparagus to smear sunblock all over a small squirming person.

_________________
"Hummus; a gentleman's vice." -- Mars

coldandsleepy cooks, THE BLOG!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2358 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 ... 95  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer