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 Post subject: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 1:45 pm 
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Mispronounces Daiya
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Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:00 am
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We just moved and I'm going through all the old baby stuff that I never took the time to sort through before. I found a big box that was taped shut but felt like it had nothing in it. When I opened it I realized it was the box that we had used to "mail Scarlett's pacifiers to other babies who needed them" when she was too old to use them anymore. Then I started crying.

Not having a baby anymore means I sleep more! And she's a really fun and interesting person! And I don't have to wash breast pump parts every day! These are good things. Then why am I such a mess? Tell me I'm not alone with these irrational feelings!


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 2:06 pm 
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Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 4:49 pm
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Location: Toronto, ON
My kid is only 1 and I cry all of the time about her growing up. ALL OF THE TIME. I'm not sure I'm going to have another one so every time I switch her clothes with bigger ones or what have you I think about how I might NEVER EVER dress a baby in that small of clothes again. Waaaah.

But I mean her younger days weren't exactly easy. She was a high needs baby and I haven't slept more than 2 hours straight since she's been born (no exaggeration) so I don't know why I'm so torn up over it. Hormones? I don't know.

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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 3:05 pm 
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Bathes in Braggs

Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:18 pm
Posts: 1333
You are definitely not the only one. I love my "big boys" seeing them learn new things, explore the world, voice their opinions and I am also miserable on the regular from the continued lack of sleep they are still inflicting - but I do at least weekly get a wave of loss about not having anymore little babies around. I attribute it to some sort of brain damage that occurs during labor and delivery - that same process that bonds you so deeply to your baby makes you crave the little creatures even when you 'know' that it isn't really the best idea for you!


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 4:48 pm 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:37 pm
Posts: 1018
Location: SoCal
I can't tell you how many times I've cried in the last week because Ada is starting kindergarten next week. And Alice is starting her first year of preschool. It's the end of our time to all hang out together all day if we want to (cause I can't just keep Ada home from kinder whenever we feel like it). I don't miss them being babies as much but I wish they would stay three and five forever. I know they will just be even more awesome as they get older, but still.


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2016 5:38 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Location: Cliffbar NJ
A wise friend of mine, who is the vegan parent of a vegan teen, said that when you raise a child, you don't just have one child, it's kind of like having a bunch of different kids, and you love them all, but as they evolve, you miss the kid they used to be, even as you enjoy the kid they are today. I like the analogy, because for me it nails the feelings of loss I have - I still have my kid (thank God!) but I don't have her as an 18 month old any longer, and that is a feeling of loss and sadness for me. Even as I celebrate how awesome she is now!

So I miss Baby Leela, who was so chubby and snuggly, even as I adore 4.5 year old Leela who is so sassy and hilarious. And I know I'll miss them both when I meet the next iteration.

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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 4:34 am 
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Nailed to the V
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:04 pm
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Location: massachusetts
I totally get this. We decided we're not ready to have more kids in the near future, so we gave all the baby/toddler clothes we'd been holding on to to friends, and looking through them caused way more feels than I expected. I take comfort in the fact that Henry just gets more awesome everyday, but looking at the stack of tiny prefolds I'm about to pass on to a coworker has definitely made me tear up. Also, I work with infants, so I feel like that helps give me the dose of reality I need about just what it's like living with a baby, which also makes it easier!


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:18 am 
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Lactose Intolerant...Literally

Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:38 am
Posts: 695
Location: Aarhus, Denmark
You know, it sounds kind of silly, but I had a wave of that kind of sadness when we found out mini wu was a boy. Somehow I'd been thinking that if mw were a girl then I would get to have all the same moments again. Obviously that was pretty dumb, but the good part is that eventually it freed me up to let mw be his own person, without so much expectation.

Also mooo, it does seem like Scarlett is right at that age... tiny wu will be 4 soon too and she's become such a kid recently. She's not the tiny little person who depends on and adores me anymore (OK, fair to say she's still pretty needy in some ways, though). Both she and I are having a tough time with that lately.

Anyway, yeah, I hear you and I get it.


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:33 am 
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Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 4:49 pm
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Location: Toronto, ON
Tlish I really like that. I'm going to use that.

And this thread is making me sob.

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I like my bagels like I like my men - big and covered with earth balance & nooch. - Bunniee

http://veganforthewin.wordpress.com


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 11:57 am 
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Grandfathered In
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:41 pm
Posts: 11544
Location: Seattle
I totally get it.

My baby boy starts high school in three weeks.

The days are slow, but the years are fast.

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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 12:22 pm 
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Dislikes Rick Santorum
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 am
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Location: United States of New England
we decided recently BP will be an only child. i do NOT want another baby. it would very possibly be the death of me. the only reason i was still considering it was i feel bad BP doesnt have a sibling. after we decided this i OFFICIALLY went through old clothes and toys i was keeping "just in case" and was shoving my face in them ala Beverly Goldberg (for those of you who watch the Goldbergs) and basically snorting the scent up.

i dont want another baby. pregnancy was THE WORST THING EVER. im not a baby person. toddlers while insane are much more amusing and fun (and also harder in ways). BP is FINALLY at a spot where she is not 1000% dependent on me 24-7. she falls asleep in her own bed and will usually stay there for several hours before climbing into our bed and immediately falling asleep again with no help from me. she plays independently with her toys really well rather than badgering me all day. so yeah we are in a good spot and yet......that box of clothes... *SOBS*

i think as a species we have to forget how hard having a newborn is otherwise the species would not continue on so we have selective memory and the bad stuff fades and all the sweet stuff stays. i do miss having a more compliant child who was happy just to toddle around a parking lot like it was the best thing ever

now that she is not on top of me 24-7 when she does give me a hug or lay on me and i feel her skin on mine it's like some sort of amazing drug i want to like snort her up. (until she starts screaming at me about something then i want to put her on the front lawn with a sign that says "free to a good home")

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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 12:44 pm 
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Grandfathered In
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:41 pm
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Location: Seattle
Well, my 14-year-old baby still likes hugs and closeness. Not everything goes away.

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Did somebody say Keep on rockin?


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 1:03 pm 
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Dislikes Rick Santorum
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Location: United States of New England
that's so nice :-) :-) :-)

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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 6:31 am 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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Location: Sweden
FootFace wrote:

The days are slow, but the years are fast.


And laundry is never-ending.

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I tend to hook up with people who give me chocolate, but I fail to see how this is a bad thing./tofulish


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 Post subject: Re: My baby is growing up and I can't handle it.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:38 pm 
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Huffs Nutritional Yeast

Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:48 pm
Posts: 103
I feel as if the whole experience of a little one growing older is kind of like a see-saw. I go back and forth between loving fiercely the phase that I understand my kid to be in and pure bewilderment over how there is constant and unending change in and between phases. After the phases of diapers, picaso poop art, and you-can't-sleep-through-the-night-EVER are over, new challenging phases do appear. While I like not having to do diapers, clean up poop art, and getting to sleep again, in some ways that stuff is much easier to handle than what comes next.

The challenges change, they're never easy, and it's worth it every single day.


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