| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:15 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 13 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:34 pm 
Tofu Pup
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 8:35 pm
Posts: 13
I come begging your wisdom yet again, PPKers.

My daughter (and I) have been invited to a children's birthday party. At a working farm. Ugh.

As far as I know, there will be a petting zoo, but no pony rides. (Thank goodness.)

So, if it was ANYONE else inviting us, I would have politely declined and mumbled something about family plans that day, but the person hosting/inviting us is also the mother that I nanny for. My boss, basically.

I REALLY don't want to lie to her and (COWARDICE!) I don't really want to tell her why I don't want to go. She knows we're vegan, but I don't think she sees the conflict of interests and I don't want to seem snobby or rude. It was very kind of her to invite us.

I know my daughter would have fun, as she loves animals and she's very good friends with the birthday child, but I would feel pretty crappy about it considering the animals she would be petting are going to end up on somebody's plate at some point.

What would YOU do? Would you make up some imaginary event that you already planned for that day? Would you be up front with your boss? Or would you just go and explain (in an age-appropriate way, my daughter is 3) why, even though it's fun to pet the animals, we don't normally go to places like that because of what happens to the animals? (At home after the party, of course.)

Thanks in advance guys!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 8:43 pm 
Wears Durian Helmet
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:00 am
Posts: 829
That sucks. I completely understand the difficulty with it being work related. My personal approach is to be completely honest and politely decline if it doesn't involve my career, and if it does, to lie and just say we can't make it for some other reason. My partner and I are not okay with zoo/petting zoo situations, but other vegan families might be. Not trying to tell you what you must do, but if it makes you feel less freakish for being adamant on this, then great!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 9:59 pm 
Semen Strong
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 18627
Location: Cliffbar NJ
I am with moooo, but only because petting zoos make me so sad. I took L (then nearly 2) to a farm and was surprised to find they had a petting zoo. She was over the moon and loved it, but I felt so sad for the animals.

I wouldn't take a three year old and explain afterwards why we don't normally go to places like that, because I would think that she wouldn't really get it and would also be likely to say something to her friend/your boss at an inopportune moment. I also wouldn't say anything to my boss, unless I thought they were really open to reconsidering the party, which may not be possible if the venue is already booked etc. So I'd be making up an imaginary event and making my excuses or having my child be "sick" on the day of the party.

_________________
But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 7:20 am 
Tofu Pup
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2013 8:35 pm
Posts: 13
Thank you so much for responding, guys. :)

I agree with both of you, and Tofulish you're right, she probably wouldn't get it and that would be way confusing for a 3 year old.

I feel bad for not being honest, because she's so sweet. But it does seem like the only way to go. Oh well, I guess I'll have a "baby shower" or something to go to that day. ;)

Thanks again!! :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 8:04 pm 
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:04 am
Posts: 2089
Location: nj
I'll be the dissenting opinion. I actually had my kid's 3rd birthday party at a farm last October! That's because they have all kinds of fun games and food set up for fall festival at that time - like a water pump thingey that races rubber ducks, wooden trees w/ apples, ride-on diggers & tractors, bouncy castle...etc.

Yes, they have a petting zoo too but I guess it just doesn't bother me that much. I want my kid to be able to see and pet animals so he can come to love them the way I do. I think he's growing up in a non-vegan world with all kinds of even worse omnivore-related things (like thanksgiving "turkey day" parties at daycare) so you certainly can't avoid everything. I don't see petting a goat or two as that big of a deal as long as we don't eat them.

I would honestly feel worse if my kid missed a good friend's party just because of that. It is almost like not letting him go to a party just because they'll be eating non-vegan food. He'd miss out on way too much if I was that strict!

_________________
I'm not asking for utopian dreams...just a little peace in this world. That's a logical thing. - Deee-Lite


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 06, 2014 8:05 pm 
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:55 pm
Posts: 3003
Location: The land of maple syrup and beavers.
I think it really depends on the place. The farm that does my local CSA has a small petting zoo area with a handful of goats. They have large enclosures with these really cool climbing apparatuses. The pens are very clean, the kids can't go right in with the goats to potentially harass them (or be harassed) and the goats aren't over crowded. The farm sells veggies and beef but no goat products and I found out these guys were adopted from a closing farm. I worked for a travelling petting zoo as a teenager (ugh) and from what I've seen, this place is as good as anyone could ask for in terms of a petting zoo. Obviously not the norm, unfortunately.

_________________
"I'm so scared of eventually succumbing to saggy butt that I'm going to sacrifice my dog this evening. Anyone for some German Shepherd Pie?" - daisychain

"Well! Fruit is stupid! These onions taste nothing like fruit!" -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 5:17 am 
Nooch of Earl
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:18 pm
Posts: 3385
Location: Bella Napoli
In this case, I don't think I'd have strong feelings either way. Would I hold my daughter's birthday at a farm with a petting zoo? No. Have we been to farms I discovered, once there, had petting zoos? Yes--in recent years they seem to have become a ubiquitous part of pumpkin farms and U-pick apple orchards for some reason. And sometimes we're with omni groups that want to visit it, and we'll go along. Probably the birthday party is paid for whether you're there or not, and so I guess I don't see it as doing that much marginal harm by going. Yes, the animals are penned in, but the same thing seems to be the case at sanctuaries I've visited.

If you're not comfortable with it, though, don't go! Since it's a professional contact I wouldn't make a big deal of it as a vegan issue, just say you can't make it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:48 am 
Semen Strong
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 18627
Location: Cliffbar NJ
annak wrote:
Yes, the animals are penned in, but the same thing seems to be the case at sanctuaries I've visited.


We go to an amazing local sanctuary, and the difference to me, is not that the animals are penned in, but that at the petting zoo you have so many babies who should be with their mothers, or animals with overgrown hooves etc, who just aren't very healthy.

Everyone has to make their own calls about this stuff - I agree that if a petting zoo had a well-cared for flock of animals it is far less upsetting than seeing what I've seen - animals in spaces that are too tight and without proper resources (ducks and pigs in tiny cages), unhealthy animals (esp with overgrown hooves, where you can tell walking is uncomfortable), and lots of little babies taken from their mothers (I saw a bunch of calves looking so lost, it was heartbreaking).

_________________
But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 2:45 pm 
Wears Durian Helmet
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:08 pm
Posts: 870
Location: PDX
Re talking to your 3 year old, kids area ready at different ages. My niece's son just had his 3rd birthday, and somehow it came up that they were eating meat from a pig. He hadn't made the connection before that meat came from animals and was horrified. I don't know if they'll keep it up, but he says he doesn't want to eat meat anymore and my niece seems willing to cater to him. She works for a local humane society and has volunteered/worked for wildlife sanctuaries in the past, but has no interest in being veg herself.

_________________
Formerly Kaleicious. I still love kale, but no more than lots of other garden greens too! Orach is currently my favorite.


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 12:56 pm 
Dislikes Rick Santorum
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 am
Posts: 4672
Location: United States of New England
Aubade wrote:
I'll be the dissenting opinion. I actually had my kid's 3rd birthday party at a farm last October! That's because they have all kinds of fun games and food set up for fall festival at that time - like a water pump thingey that races rubber ducks, wooden trees w/ apples, ride-on diggers & tractors, bouncy castle...etc.

Yes, they have a petting zoo too but I guess it just doesn't bother me that much. I want my kid to be able to see and pet animals so he can come to love them the way I do. I think he's growing up in a non-vegan world with all kinds of even worse omnivore-related things (like thanksgiving "turkey day" parties at daycare) so you certainly can't avoid everything. I don't see petting a goat or two as that big of a deal as long as we don't eat them.

I would honestly feel worse if my kid missed a good friend's party just because of that. It is almost like not letting him go to a party just because they'll be eating non-vegan food. He'd miss out on way too much if I was that strict!



i have to agree with this one. i guess everyone probably has different thoughts on this but i agree with Aubade. i personally woulnt have much of an issue with it. i dont think petting zoo animals end up on peoples' plates either???? usually they are just overfed and lazy. not the best life but still better than a factory farm animal.

depending on how old the kid is it can also be a teaching moment.

for me personally (and i totally get that other people may have the opposite opinion and thats cool too!) id feel bad not letting my kid go and feeling like im ostracizing her especially if she was too young to understand.

then again all the petting zoos ive seen have been really not so bad i guess maybe i would research ahead of time what the petting zoo part was like.

_________________
Damn dirty vegan hippies and their carob.~~Moon

It's just funny to think that we could go through years of this, become the president of the damn country, and still, we'd be eating pasta with veggies at every. damn. function.~~Joyfulgirl


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:50 pm 
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 3687
Location: Panama City, Florida
I agree that this wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't pay for my kids to go to something like this, but going to a friends party, that is going to happen regardless, can really be a teachable moment. I think at least a few times, it's important for kids to see animals in these situations, so when you talk about (Later! after the party!) why it's bad for the animals, they can have concrete visuals and understand a little clearer. I've taken my kids to the free day at the (local, horrid) zoo here just so they could see exactly why it's so terrible. Shae was so moved by the treatment of the animals there, that he has helped a few times with petitions against the zoo buying more animals. Kids are very visual and I think it's a good thing to help them fully understand why we do what we do and why we have to care and speak out for the animals.

_________________
etsy shop: teeny tiny tantrums
blog: vegan kid!


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 5:07 pm 
Wears Durian Helmet
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:19 pm
Posts: 827
Location: Northern NJ
My kids have gone to farm/zoo/horse riding bday parties/fieldtrips. My daughter's 1st grade is going to a veggie and plant farm for a field trip. They have animals there but I don't think they are raised for meat. She's going to go. Telling her she can't go with all of her friends would destroy her.

The bday party is going to happen regardless of your opinions on it and if she is really close to the birthday kid I would just let her go.

_________________
The blog: good-good-things


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Invited to Farm with Petting Zoo, birthday?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:53 pm 
Semen Strong
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 18627
Location: Cliffbar NJ
Yes, thats a good point - if Leela wanted to go, I'd probably just see if my partner could take her and if not, I'd just swallow my discomfort. But at 2.5, she's not really voicing those opinions, so I'd rather not go.

Even apart from the meat issues though, for me most petting zoos don't keep their animals in good conditions. Richfield Farms near us has their rabbits in tiny, uncleaned, wire cages so children can pet at them, they don't have any solid places to put their feet. Black Oak Farm in Wayne left their bunnies out to freeze over the winter, and refused to call the vet, even after being called out on FB. And Demarest Farms and the other one that we went to accidentally, all had animals that were really young and taken from their mothers and sick.

We really love for the Animals sanctuary, just because you can tell how well cared for the animals are. Their personalities shine through. I wish Catskills and Woodstock were closer as well

_________________
But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic  [ 13 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider] and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer