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Should my wife and I execute this masterful scheme? (read post)
Yes, do it! 35%  35%  [ 7 ]
No, you're crazy! 50%  50%  [ 10 ]
Maybe, but make plan less evil 15%  15%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 20
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 Post subject: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:46 pm 
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Huffs Nutritional Yeast

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My mother-in-law is selfish, mean, and stupid. And she isn't vegan. And after nearly 5 years she still screws up the sex of my cats. My wife and I have learned, from experience, not to tell her the name of the baby ahead of time (we're expecting again). And so we've gone and made a list of baby names with many fake ones on it and shared it with our various relatives. We thought this smoke screen of humor would disguise our true naming intent, preventing all of the harsh judgments before B day. Some of the names we actually like but there's no way we'll name #2 "cruella strudel" (silly) or "rudolph" (we're expecting in December). But we do kind of like "rhubarb" (yummy).

Well, my mother-in-law has demanded that a new list of names be made because this first one isn't good enough. She's VERY judgmental and it's getting difficult to bear. Because we haven't given her a REAL name (or a real due date, we keep sticking with "December") my mother-in-law is now lashing out. In response, she is threatening to tell our news of a #2 to distant relatives still on our announcement list in an effort to thwart our blissful non-judgy day-to-day. She has even threatened to create a second list of names to replace the first one, though I have no idea how she'll manage to switch a new list in to replace ours, as if we wouldn't notice. I swear, the woman refuses to give us any peace.

Genius and slightly evil masterful scheme
  • Keep due date a secret so that upon arrival of our #2, mother-in-law learns about it several days after the fact from 2nd or 3rd hand information through others
  • Mother-in-law hears fake name and opposite sex of #2 through others who are also kept purposefully in the dark (relatives judgy with names for #1), believes it must be true because others know it (step may involve sending out a fake picture of ugliest newborn we can find)
  • Reveal true name and true sex of #2 to others, ha ha! Surprised you all!!!
  • Mother-in-law learns, again, through other people the news. Finally permit her visitation of #2

This seems a fitting revenge for her unending nonsense. Should we push this issue?


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:58 pm 
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Dying from Nooch Lung
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If I were you, every time she brought it up I would say "we've just been too busy with getting ready to even think of a name, hopefully we can decide when we meet them!" and immediately change the subject. I don't get the point of revenge.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:34 pm 
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TOTALLY CRADICAL
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This sounds exhausting to coordinate and pull off, much less while caring for a newborn, much less with an older sibling to said newborn already at home and dependent on their parents. Sounds to me like you just need to ignore this woman and her desperate cries for attention/control and only give her information as and if you see fit. I assume you're not having twins or triplets, in which case is it perfectly appropriate to take the attitude that you have only signed up to coddle one infant, and that yours already has a pretty good competitive edge over its grandmother for a variety of reasons. If grandma can't be helpful, she needs to GTFO.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 6:50 pm 
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Definitely sounds exhausting!

And then what do you get? A worse relationship, right?

So it just leads to more exhaustion.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 7:47 pm 
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Yeah. Set boundaries. Enforce them. And ignore any poor behavior (see setting boundaries).

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 8:51 pm 
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A) Is this real?
B) Are you real?
C) Am I real?

Assuming yes to the above and that you really, really feel the need to exact revenge, I think the obvious answer is to dress up one of the cats in an outfit really stereotypical of the opposite sex (For example a "Daddy's little tough guy" onsie for a cat that you have projected a female identity on). Introduce the cat as the new baby. When she acts shocked, tell her you are just joking - ha, ha! - then hand her her real grandchild - the beagle. The beagle should also be dressed in clothing typically associated with the opposite sex. Then - since you and your wife are presumably busy caring for your new baby, you should ask her if she can take the beagle for a walk, and hand her a newborn on a leash. Tell her their name is Snoopy.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:53 pm 
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Olives wrote:
A) Is this real?
B) Are you real?
C) Am I real?

Assuming yes to the above and that you really, really feel the need to exact revenge, I think the obvious answer is to dress up one of the cats in an outfit really stereotypical of the opposite sex (For example a "Daddy's little tough guy" onsie for a cat that you have projected a female identity on). Introduce the cat as the new baby. When she acts shocked, tell her you are just joking - ha, ha! - then hand her her real grandchild - the beagle. The beagle should also be dressed in clothing typically associated with the opposite sex. Then - since you and your wife are presumably busy caring for your new baby, you should ask her if she can take the beagle for a walk, and hand her a newborn on a leash. Tell her their name is Snoopy.


THIS.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 12:50 am 
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Huffs Nutritional Yeast

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Olives gets it. Thank you. Everyone is far too logical. We like to handle things differently.. with humor.

It seems most responders are basing their views on the false assumption that my mother-in-law is a real human being like the rest of us. When in reality she is STILL a blond Canadian. She has never once asked me about myself, my life, or my day. She just talks and talks and talks about her own shiitake which I stopped caring about long ago. She never wants to talk about anything important, like our cats. She talks endlessly about relatives I've never met and often I don't even know how they are related to my wife. She recycles the stories too and they are about nothing of interest. She never takes my wife's side with issues over extended family bs, which is fairly regular among the lot of my in-laws, preferring instead to argue perpetually as a "devils advocate". She constantly tries to sign us up for her latest pyramid scheme and she's currently on Isagenics shakes. (The only good thing about this current one is that the name "Isa" is in "Isagenics". Maybe it's a sign?)

Perhaps it's time to invest in cat outfits and an extra small doggy harness.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 12:57 am 
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TOTALLY CRADICAL
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Wow, what a monster. You're totally justified in plotting out a complicated scheme to gaslight her.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:22 am 
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I think you should push the issue.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:23 am 
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Olives wrote:
A) Is this real?
B) Are you real?
C) Am I real?

Assuming yes to the above and that you really, really feel the need to exact revenge, I think the obvious answer is to dress up one of the cats in an outfit really stereotypical of the opposite sex (For example a "Daddy's little tough guy" onsie for a cat that you have projected a female identity on). Introduce the cat as the new baby. When she acts shocked, tell her you are just joking - ha, ha! - then hand her her real grandchild - the beagle. The beagle should also be dressed in clothing typically associated with the opposite sex. Then - since you and your wife are presumably busy caring for your new baby, you should ask her if she can take the beagle for a walk, and hand her a newborn on a leash. Tell her their name is Snoopy.


Literally laughing out loud at my desk. DADDY'S LITTLE TOUGH GUY!

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Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:42 am 
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This is why my baby #3 was a stealth baby.

My mother and mother-in-law have never liked any of our baby name choices. This time, 4th time around, my MIL seems resigned to whatever pompous and over-the-top name I come up with (I think at this point, she's happy we are speaking to her again after the trouble she caused with the authorities and my first baby). My mom was still trying to talk me into a slightly different name when I told her, "everyone's got something to say about my baby name choices." She has finally backed off.

Cruella Strudel is a rad name, BTW.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 9:16 am 
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You should just enforce boundaries/cut ties with her. You don't have to put up with things you don't like. End Facebook friendship, don't accept calls, etc. instead of taking revenge on someone you don't enjoy the company of.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 9:24 am 
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I'm with Tigon, you either cut ties completely or accept how things are. Doing passive aggressive activities will just make the relationship worse.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:07 am 
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I might be wrong here, but I think it is a joke?

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Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:19 pm 
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Huffs Nutritional Yeast

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No, not a joke. "Cruella Strudel" is really on our name list. And our name list really infuriates my MIL, who has already infuriated us. The idea of her finding out 2nd hand name information not just once but twice had us howling so hard it upset one of the cats for a moment. Rarely does a fantastic opportunity for petty family revenge present itself. I may need to drop more details to clarify some of this but my wife and I are totally on the same page here.

Coincidentally I happened to start reading and posting again here maybe a week ago after a nearly 5 year hiatus, dang life sure got in the way of fun. Inspiration struck and if I can't share silliness with strangers on the internet then what is the point of the internet?


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 3:35 pm 
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We didn't share our name choices much with other people before our baby was born. (Also because we didn't decide on a name until 10 minutes before leaving the hospital.) We also didn't find out the sex ahead of time because I didn't want to hear anyone's dumb projections about our baby, or get as much hideous gendered clothing, so. My answer is to share no information ahead of time so she doesn't have a chance to share her opinion.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 3:38 pm 
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Although now that I think of it, my husband dos tell his mom at one point that we were going to name the baby "skeeter" when she asked. (A joke name that we sometimes called the fetus, because of a mosquito-filled camping trip at the beginning of my second trimester.). She thought he was serious, because we make lots of unconventional choices anyway. Our actual name, while much nicer imo than skeeter, is just as unconventional so I guess she couldn't have known it was a joke.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 3:46 pm 
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Nope. Still don't believe this is for real.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:12 pm 
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Tofu wrote:
Inspiration struck and if I can't share silliness with strangers on the internet then what is the point of the internet?

It doesn't sound like silliness though. She sounds like a person you really don't like and you're asking if you should poke the bear or let it go. The answer is never that you'll be more emotionally healthy if you start a fight. This is the kind of person you need to avoid, not cause trouble with. I'd read some advice columns because this kind of problem comes up frequently and you can hear professionals say this same thing much better than us.

Turning any relationship into a game of one-upmanship is a bad idea.


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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:19 pm 
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If your mother-in-law is a jerk who gives you grief about everything because she thinks it's her business, I think you'll be better off just letting her do her thing. It's not like she has any real power here, apart from the power to bug the shiitake out of you. Why post any possible, potential, or fake-out baby names?

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:48 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
If your mother-in-law is a jerk who gives you grief about everything because she thinks it's her business, I think you'll be better off just letting her do her thing. It's not like she has any real power here, apart from the power to bug the shiitake out of you. Why post any possible, potential, or fake-out baby names?

This ...

There is nothing emotionally healthy about any of this and I don't see how it would bring anything good to your lives.

Of course, my sister has five dogs and I'll be damned if I can remember all of their names, never mind their genders.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:48 pm 
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Honestly, it sounds like cutting her off or ignoring her might be more annoying to her than any scheme you can contrive.

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 4:31 am 
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Tofu wrote:
"Cruella Strudel" is really on our name list.

My cousin wanted to name her son Maximus Volcano, but settled on Maxwell. I liked the volcano name better, but Maxwell is cool, too.

I have been told by my MIL our name choices are "too posh" and by my mother that since the vowel in the first syllable of the names rhyme, it might confuse people. Oh, well!

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 Post subject: Re: Mother-in-law is infuriating us about baby names
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2016 4:45 am 
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Those forking blond Canadians.


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