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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:28 pm 
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chiveggie wrote:
rabidchild I feel like you are reading my mind right now. This is our first cycle "trying", although last cycle we weren't really preventing much. Last cycle I got my period the same day my SIL let us know she was pregnant with her second-she has a 6 month old. My first reaction was such extreme jealousy and ridiculous thoughts of "that's not fair it's my turn" that I was glad she didn't tell me in person out of fear that I would have cried at the news. I'm truly happy for her, just wasn't expecting to hear that news from her so quickly. Doesn't help that my subconscious is screwing with me by giving me dreams that swing between me being pregnant with twins and dreams about a doctor telling me that I waited too long to start trying and now it's too late. Both very irrational dreams.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility was a great read - why don't they teach this stuff in health class? I actually shared a lot of the info with my husband who was generally interested by it as well-although slightly grossed out by it as well.

Since going off birth control my cycles have been around 35 days long, but when I went on a 2 week vacation this summer it went all the way to 50 days! Hence my use of the term "cycle" instead of month. My family knows we're trying which prevents all those annoying comments that we've been getting since the day after our wedding, but also gives way to other issues. Now it's the subtle pregnancy test every time we're together: offer me a drink right away and see if I take it or what excuse I give as to why I don't want to drink. Extra tricky during that post ovulation but pre pregnancy test time that I'm not sure if I should drink during or not.


And we are having the same dreams! Well, not the waiting too long, but I've had twins wherein I could not figure out what the name of the second twin was (both boys; one had our chosen boy name), had singletons several times, and ONCE I dreamed my husband had had an affair and got some other girl pregnant but she didn't want the baby and we were going to adopt it and she changed her mind at the last minute. What?!

Post BC cycles for me have ranged from 25-31 days. The first 31 day one came after I was sedated for a medical procedure and I was really sure I wasn't pregnant going in based on when I ovulated, but then I panicked because it was 'late' and I had had all those meds. FALSE ALARM. it's all kind of maddening on a lot of levels. On the one hand, the thought of not getting pregnant freaks me out, and on the other, the thought of getting pregnant freaks me out. Can't win!

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:08 pm 
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designedtobekind wrote:
I don't think people realize how insensitive it is to point at my nephew and ask when we're going to have a baby. Or even better "You need one of those!" Of course, if I say "That's kind of personal...", then something is wrong with me. A friend of my in-laws' straight up asked if we were having fertility issues at a party. I was so shocked I had to stammer around that one. What does make it is easier is that my sister-in-law will quickly come to my defense, and that my nephew is the sweetest, most awesome baby, who I can hand back when he starts screaming.



This is so true. A family member who got pregnant shortly after I did miscarried before announcing her pregnancy widely.. At a family event when I was in my third trimester, I cringed every time she and her husband were told it was "their turn next." I had similar stuff said to me by my husband's bosses at work when his fellow department heads had babies.. We weren't having fertility issues (at that time weren't sure we wanted kids), but seriously, people, this is NEVER an appropriate topic of discussion!! If people want you to know about their family planning they will TELL YOU. Why do so many people have brain cells missing when it comes to this stuff?


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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:35 pm 
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annak wrote:
Why do so many people have brain cells missing when it comes to this stuff?


I honestly think it comes from a good place often, just a horribly misguided one. People really like pregnancy and babies, and many people remember their pregnancies and having kids as one of the best things in their lives, and they really want you to have that experience too. And if you haven't had fertility issues, its a bit like DTBK says, you don't think that the couple might be trying or maybe you can't imagine someone really being completely happy without kids (even though many people are).

I try and see it as that, not meanness, or it will drive you crazy.

But yes, the world would be a nicer place if people just trusted that you'd tell them if and when you're ready.

I much prefer the really sweet comments I got, which probably came from the same impetus - like that I'd be a great mom when I was ready. Those often made me so teary, in a really good way. It felt like something I needed to hear when it felt like nature wasn't cooperating.

And OMG, there is a place in hell for people who tell you that they conceived easily because Their Love was Meant To Be. And that if you just try harder and your love is truly Meant To Be, you like them will conceive. Really, you think God or True Love or whatever is really passing judgment on your relationship before he/it sticks a baby in you?

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:54 am 
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i would like to +1 on reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and charting. we got pregnant after just 3 months of charting, plus it's practically free (after you buy the book and the basal thermometer). granted, this won't help if you have actual fertility issues, but it helped me figure out when i was ovulating, so i could make sure we were having sex on the right days.

and even though this one didn't work out...i plan on using this method again after my 3 month healing period. and good luck to all of you that are trying. hopefully we'll all get those babies we want, one way or another.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:16 am 
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annak wrote:
Why do so many people have brain cells missing when it comes to this stuff?


I really try not to ask anyone about it, and I usually don't have a problem except i have found myself on the verge of asking when a friend already has one kid. Like, when are you having another? I know this can be just as rude, but the questions pop into my mind and I have to tell myself to shut up!

And yes, I think TCOYF should be required reading for everyone. I'm too shy about asking questions at the doctor's office, so this was great just to learn more about everything and when to know if there is a likely problem.


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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:39 pm 
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A good friend of mine had Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy surgeries this week, and I found out today that they told her she would probaby never conceive without IVF (they have been trying for a couple of years now). I remember when I was told that I would never get pregnant on my own/support a pregnancy, and I can't stop crying for her because I know the emotional pain she is in right now.

I sent her a message with offers of support, but I feel like I should do more. I felt so alone when I went through it, and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I feel like society in general doesn't want to deal with fertility issues, but I remember just wanting someone to listen and to feel like my feelings were validated. I don't want to crowd her if she needs space, but I don't want her to feel alone, either. What should I do?

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:01 pm 
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poopie, that sounds wonderful. you have told her you've been through it, and you are there. Its so hard to talk about it. We had trouble getting pregnant, although we didn't try to do much to figure it out. i remember years of hurting every time someone close to me got pregnant or had a baby (or had a second, or third) around me. I tried not to talk about it, just because people didn't understand our choice- yes, we were having trouble, but no, we aren't going to make it happen even though we want it. I only once talked to someone who could refrain from telling me what to do, i feel like that would be the greatest gift. She was (and is) my best friend, who also struggled with fertility, although she made different choices.


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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:16 pm 
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I agree with jildez. The best friends are those who listen and don't judge, and who make you laugh and feel comforted when you're ready to talk about other things. If you can just roll with her feelings, and let her know she isn't alone, I bet she'd really appreciate it.

Plus you're a hilariously funny cake goddess, so you make everything better anyway. You almost make me wish I lived in Memphis.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:09 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
A good friend of mine had Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy surgeries this week, and I found out today that they told her she would probaby never conceive without IVF (they have been trying for a couple of years now). I remember when I was told that I would never get pregnant on my own/support a pregnancy, and I can't stop crying for her because I know the emotional pain she is in right now.

I sent her a message with offers of support, but I feel like I should do more. I felt so alone when I went through it, and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I feel like society in general doesn't want to deal with fertility issues, but I remember just wanting someone to listen and to feel like my feelings were validated. I don't want to crowd her if she needs space, but I don't want her to feel alone, either. What should I do?
I remember getting that news, too. People deal with things differently. Maybe the best thing for her is just being there if and when she's ready to talk. It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing.

Maybe offer to go out to lunch or hang out, and if she wants to talk about it, she can? Sometimes it's nice just knowing that someone is there for you, even if you don't specifically talk about what's going on.

The people who I've valued the most are ones who just listen and don't try to judge or sway me either way.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:20 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
A good friend of mine had Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy surgeries this week, and I found out today that they told her she would probaby never conceive without IVF (they have been trying for a couple of years now). I remember when I was told that I would never get pregnant on my own/support a pregnancy, and I can't stop crying for her because I know the emotional pain she is in right now.

I sent her a message with offers of support, but I feel like I should do more. I felt so alone when I went through it, and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. I feel like society in general doesn't want to deal with fertility issues, but I remember just wanting someone to listen and to feel like my feelings were validated. I don't want to crowd her if she needs space, but I don't want her to feel alone, either. What should I do?

This. It seems like fertility issues are seen so often as "not really important". Most of the time, the medical issues aren't going to result in permanent disfigurement, death, etc. so there's this idea that you just have to deal. Grr.

Agreed with those saying that just being there and listening is a big help.

FWIW, I know lots of mommies (including me) who were told that IVF was probably the only viable option and then managed to plant a seed anyway. I joke with my husband that it was his "super vegan sperm". (his tests/analysis were all spectacular) :D


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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:28 pm 
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Hahaha! My RE was so surprised that we got pregnant without allopathic interventions! She refused to consider that the acupuncture and Vitex might have made the difference though.

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 Post subject: preparing for conception
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:16 pm 
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hey all ! my partner and i are ready (finally!) to start trying for another little one.

last time around, i was only 19 and i didn't really know what was going on/what to expect/etc. in fact, i didn't know i was pregnant until i was nearly 4 months along (irregular periods, gah!)

so this time, i want to be quite a bit more prepared, which means i have tons of questions!

-caffeine - do i switch to decaf now? i work at a coffee shop, so no coffee is a no go, haha.
-any good recommendations for vitamins? i literally cannot swallow the huge maternity ones. should i just take a few important ones separately? for sure b12, vit d, iron (i believe i'm usually low), and folate... anything else?
-when does it become important (in the pregnancy) to stop lifting heavy stuff/taking it easy/etc? like as soon as i conceive? obviously i won't know at the time, but i do quite a bit of lifting for my job.

any other useful tidbits would be much appreciated!! thanks, ppk parents!

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 Post subject: Re: preparing for conception
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:19 pm 
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There is a conceiving thread here: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=13353 that you might find useful.

I stopped liking the taste of coffee once I got pregnant, but my understanding is a little coffee is absolutely fine.

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 Post subject: Re: preparing for conception
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:24 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
There is a conceiving thread here: http://www.forum.theppk.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=13353 that you might find useful.

I stopped liking the taste of coffee once I got pregnant, but my understanding is a little coffee is absolutely fine.


ah, thank you for the link. i missed that!

i know a little coffee is fine, but i drink it all day, so i plan to switch to decaf. just not sure when. i have been starting to do half-caf and sometimes decaf in the afternoon, but i get up at 4:30am every morning, and my body still doesn't want to get up then.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:45 am 
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Threads merged!

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:57 am 
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bodhi wrote:
hey all ! my partner and i are ready (finally!) to start trying for another little one.

last time around, i was only 19 and i didn't really know what was going on/what to expect/etc. in fact, i didn't know i was pregnant until i was nearly 4 months along (irregular periods, gah!)

so this time, i want to be quite a bit more prepared, which means i have tons of questions!

-caffeine - do i switch to decaf now? i work at a coffee shop, so no coffee is a no go, haha.
-any good recommendations for vitamins? i literally cannot swallow the huge maternity ones. should i just take a few important ones separately? for sure b12, vit d, iron (i believe i'm usually low), and folate... anything else?
-when does it become important (in the pregnancy) to stop lifting heavy stuff/taking it easy/etc? like as soon as i conceive? obviously i won't know at the time, but i do quite a bit of lifting for my job.

any other useful tidbits would be much appreciated!! thanks, ppk parents!


You need to be taking a prenatal vitamin with folic acid if you plan on getting pregnant or even if you may become pregnant because there is a chance of spina bifida or other neural tube abnormalities which can occur very early on in pregnancy if you are deficient. I take Rainbow Light Prenatal One, and I really like it. It's really not that big. And unlike other vitamins I only need to take it once. You should also take DHA every day. I take Spectrum Naturals Vegetarian DHA, or Deva.

A cup of coffee a day, like the short or tall size at Starbucks should be all your are consuming. Remember caffeine in other stuff too like sodas and teas. You should probably just switch to decaf if you are just trying to get pregnant so maybe you can get through the worst withdrawal symptoms before you become fatigued with pregnancy.

You shouldn't really be doing any heavy lifting during pregnancy. Why take the risk? Sucks when you have no choice though. Regular strength training is encouraged though.


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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:41 am 
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dragonssister wrote:
bodhi wrote:
hey all ! my partner and i are ready (finally!) to start trying for another little one.

last time around, i was only 19 and i didn't really know what was going on/what to expect/etc. in fact, i didn't know i was pregnant until i was nearly 4 months along (irregular periods, gah!)

so this time, i want to be quite a bit more prepared, which means i have tons of questions!

-caffeine - do i switch to decaf now? i work at a coffee shop, so no coffee is a no go, haha.
-any good recommendations for vitamins? i literally cannot swallow the huge maternity ones. should i just take a few important ones separately? for sure b12, vit d, iron (i believe i'm usually low), and folate... anything else?
-when does it become important (in the pregnancy) to stop lifting heavy stuff/taking it easy/etc? like as soon as i conceive? obviously i won't know at the time, but i do quite a bit of lifting for my job.

any other useful tidbits would be much appreciated!! thanks, ppk parents!


You need to be taking a prenatal vitamin with folic acid if you plan on getting pregnant or even if you may become pregnant because there is a chance of spina bifida or other neural tube abnormalities which can occur very early on in pregnancy if you are deficient. I take Rainbow Light Prenatal One, and I really like it. It's really not that big. And unlike other vitamins I only need to take it once. You should also take DHA every day. I take Spectrum Naturals Vegetarian DHA, or Deva.


I can't swallow the Rainbow Light Prenatal One; to me it's huge, and I personally wouldn't recommend it to anyone who has trouble swallowing pills! Folate is the same vitamin as folic acid. If you have or get a complete multivitamin, you might be able to get away with taking that, just ask your doctor. Mine recommended taking a regular adult multi chewable when I had trouble swallowing any size vitamin in the first trimester.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:52 am 
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Quote:
-any good recommendations for vitamins? i literally cannot swallow the huge maternity ones. should i just take a few important ones separately? for sure b12, vit d, iron (i believe i'm usually low), and folate... anything else?


I'd be worried about advising someone who is trying to get pregnant that she could take a series of pills rather than a complete prenatal. I'd think that would be a conversation to have with your MD or medical professionals.

I'd tell you're OB you're looking to conceive and get answers from a medical professional. Especially re lifting and vitamins. His/her answers are probably going to put you at ease in a way that someone who isn't a professional and doesn't know your med history won't.

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 Post subject: Re: preparing for conception
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:02 am 
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bodhi wrote:
hey all ! my partner and i are ready (finally!) to start trying for another little one.

last time around, i was only 19 and i didn't really know what was going on/what to expect/etc. in fact, i didn't know i was pregnant until i was nearly 4 months along (irregular periods, gah!)

so this time, i want to be quite a bit more prepared, which means i have tons of questions!

-caffeine - do i switch to decaf now? i work at a coffee shop, so no coffee is a no go, haha.
-any good recommendations for vitamins? i literally cannot swallow the huge maternity ones. should i just take a few important ones separately? for sure b12, vit d, iron (i believe i'm usually low), and folate... anything else?
-when does it become important (in the pregnancy) to stop lifting heavy stuff/taking it easy/etc? like as soon as i conceive? obviously i won't know at the time, but i do quite a bit of lifting for my job.

any other useful tidbits would be much appreciated!! thanks, ppk parents!


I'd visit your doctor to have a good once over, for sure.

I don't drink caffeine so I didn't have to stop, but you might as well start cutting down now so you're not dealing with pregnancy symptoms and caffeine withdrawal at the same time.

I tried a few different prenatals -- the rainbow light petites were the smallest, you take 3/day though. However even those bothered my stomach. After talking to my gastroenterologist, he told me that women with my constellation of digestive issues generally cannot tolerate prenatals, and what I was doing (800 mg folic acid + completely not even vegetarian Flintstones Complete Chewable) was the typical "prenatal cocktail" for ladies with belly issues, and it was fine. I also take DHA for baby things, and probiotics and Vitamin D (2k iu) for rabidchild things (do NOT take "megadoses" of Vit D while TTC or pregnant though - I was ok 50k iu Rx for a while and my doc said to stop immediately if I got pregnant). You can also get chewable prenatals, though they're probably not veg either. I decided if I'm making a small concession between taking a non-veg vitamin, or taking nothing because I can't stomach the other ones, then I'd go non-veg vitamin.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:22 am 
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Topic shift!

I'm 7dpo .. been having what can best be described as mild period-style cramps since 2 dpo. Does this mean ANYTHING or is my body just being a tool for no reason? 2 dpo is too soon for implantation, which makes me think my body just hates me, so I'm just feeling rather annoyed and wanted to take advil but not actually taking advil on the slight chance we conceived this month.

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 Post subject: Re: preparing for conception
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:47 pm 
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rabidchild wrote:
I tried a few different prenatals -- the rainbow light petites were the smallest, you take 3/day though. However even those bothered my stomach. After talking to my gastroenterologist, he told me that women with my constellation of digestive issues generally cannot tolerate prenatals, and what I was doing (800 mg folic acid + completely not even vegetarian Flintstones Complete Chewable) was the typical "prenatal cocktail" for ladies with belly issues, and it was fine. I also take DHA for baby things, and probiotics and Vitamin D (2k iu) for rabidchild things (do NOT take "megadoses" of Vit D while TTC or pregnant though - I was ok 50k iu Rx for a while and my doc said to stop immediately if I got pregnant). You can also get chewable prenatals, though they're probably not veg either. I decided if I'm making a small concession between taking a non-veg vitamin, or taking nothing because I can't stomach the other ones, then I'd go non-veg vitamin.

I will have to check into the rainbow light petites. I'm terrible with pills, I can take BC sized pills, but once they get larger than that (ie tylenol/advil/etc), it becomes a challenge. I'll check out the chewable ones too. Thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: preparing for conception
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:31 pm 
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bodhi wrote:
rabidchild wrote:
I tried a few different prenatals -- the rainbow light petites were the smallest, you take 3/day though. However even those bothered my stomach. After talking to my gastroenterologist, he told me that women with my constellation of digestive issues generally cannot tolerate prenatals, and what I was doing (800 mg folic acid + completely not even vegetarian Flintstones Complete Chewable) was the typical "prenatal cocktail" for ladies with belly issues, and it was fine. I also take DHA for baby things, and probiotics and Vitamin D (2k iu) for rabidchild things (do NOT take "megadoses" of Vit D while TTC or pregnant though - I was ok 50k iu Rx for a while and my doc said to stop immediately if I got pregnant). You can also get chewable prenatals, though they're probably not veg either. I decided if I'm making a small concession between taking a non-veg vitamin, or taking nothing because I can't stomach the other ones, then I'd go non-veg vitamin.

I will have to check into the rainbow light petites. I'm terrible with pills, I can take BC sized pills, but once they get larger than that (ie tylenol/advil/etc), it becomes a challenge. I'll check out the chewable ones too. Thanks!


They're still bigger than a tylenol. You want me to take a picture?

I saw Bellybar makes chewable prenatals. They appear to at least be gelatin free.

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:02 pm 
Has it on Blue Vinyl
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You could try Dr. Fuhrman's Gental Prenatal. It comes in capsules that you can open and pour in a smoothie or other drink. It does not contain folic acid, so if you do go this route I recommend also taking folic acid separately. Dr. Fuhrman's are vegan but expensive. I like these because I have never had stomach issues or burping from these. Is that too gross? Sorry, a lot of vitamins make me burp.

The folic acid I take also come in capsules that you could open. I've had not problem finding vegan ones at whole foods, the brand I have is Bluebonnet.


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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:38 pm 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Awesome. Thanks for the recommendations! Rabidchild, a picture would be great if you have time to do that. I will also check out the Dr. Fuhrman's ones...if I put it in a smoothie, I'll for sure be able to get back into my green smoothie habit!

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 Post subject: Re: conceivin' thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 7:36 pm 
Mispronounces Daiya
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Alright, the brown pill is the Rainbow Lite Petite; The blue one is an otc Aleve, the Penny is a Penny. :D I didn't know what size to compare it to.

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