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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 2014 2:54 pm 
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Awesome Sashi! I really tried to get Giles a spot in the Mother's Day Out programs in our area to give my hubby a little break - but they are all understandably booked up with long waiting lists.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 4:59 am 
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bodhi wrote:
Crabby, I like your idea of morning time. Two hours in the morning without kids sounds awesome. Do they all stay asleep while you have that time?

Sometimes I hear Vax laughing to himself, but he usually falls back asleep (such a difference from Beet & Raygold, who were very high-needs babies). Beet & Raygold usually don't wake up until 7, but some days they get up a little earlier (like today, 6:40).

sashi wrote:
Crabby, morning time is a good idea but I am so not a morning person. Ha. Plus I'd probably wake Alice if I got up.

I understand! My husband is not a morning person AT ALL! And Beet & Raygold would probably have woken up if I'd tried to sneak out of bed early in the mornings when they were babies, too. Vax is more likely to wake up at night if I try to sneak away, but it better in the mornings (the complete opposite of Beet & Raygold).

sashi wrote:
It's a go! I'm really excited! Starting next week he'll work from home one day (split up between the day and after bed time).

Brilliant!!

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:23 am 
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Semen Strong
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After nearly 4 months of wrestling with ACA and healthcare.gov, calling people, resubmitting application after application, calling in the middle of the night to get someone to help, chasing up whenever things went missing, my amazing partner has almost gotten us healthcare. This has been the most stupid bureaucratic nightmare, and my partner has really done so much legwork and been so persistent in the face of so much ridiculousness and error, and I am just so grateful he chased everything down so doggedly.

Oh and he brought me surprise winterboots, because mine aren't tight enough.

And has been doing absolutely all the cleaning and cooking, because all I want to do is nap.

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:33 am 
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What great news Tofulish! Most of the people I've talked to who are getting ACA have had an easy time with it and I can't believe how hard it's been for you. I'm so happy for you guys!

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:42 am 
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Wow, really? We have had so many issues with the system. Even now they want me to prove I am a US citizen but keep losing all the documents we send them. Glad it's working out for people!

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:15 pm 
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yay Tofulish for healthcare! I actually just signed H up, he hasn't had insurance in 5 years but luckily has been ridiculously healthy. It was easy since he qualifies for medicaid as a unmarried, unemployed man...but the real reason we wanted to get him signed up is he desperately needs dental care, and now I can't figure out if Medicaid covers that as well. I know there's a separate dental plan that you pay some tiny amount a month for but I'm not sure if he needs that too. (sorry, end thread derail now!)


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:52 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Wow, really? We have had so many issues with the system. Even now they want me to prove I am a US citizen but keep losing all the documents we send them. Glad it's working out for people!


They were doing a series on this on NPR. It seems like it's been a mixed bag, super easy for some, incredibly difficult for others. I'm sure your citizenship issues complicate matters.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 9:18 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Ugh, I hope you get healthcare soon! Glad to hear B has been so supportive, though.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 9:40 pm 
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Thanks everyone!

Its really interesting that people have such a mixed bag of experiences. I think ours started to go wonky because we submitted our application early (late October) (after struggling through system freezes and lock outs and all that good stuff) and then checked back a few weeks later after hearing nothing, and the people at the call center couldn't find the application so we all assumed that the system ate it, so we had the people at the center put it in for us around early November, and then settled back to wait for it to be processed (we were told to expect a package in the mail shortly). Brett followed up every week or so until December, and then near Christmas it turned out that we had two applications in, so neither could get processed and then neither could be deleted for some reason. So then we had to find someone who could delete our one zombie application, and once we had it in, then they could process everything. I could see how if you just got one in after the system was taken offline and fixed up a bit, the process would be a lot smoother.

We do have healthcare at the moment - I would go insane if we didn't. We just pay about $1,700 a month for a high deductible plan. I am still pretty nervous because Amerihealth hasn't processed a lot of our medical bills yet - including an ER bill for L and the ultrasounds and treatment for my miscarriage last year, and I am just nervous how much its going to end up costing us.

Audrey, apparently every state determines whether it will cover dental. NJ does, but I have no idea about NY. I certainly hope that H can get coverage for whatever work he needs! Dental stuff is SO expensive and it blows my mind that it isn't standard as part of your health insurance. I need an implant that would cost $5,000 and I've been delaying as long as I can, because yikes!

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:14 pm 
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I think historically it's been viewed as more of an optional/cosmetic thing, but with more research about how dental health is linked with other types of health (ESPECIALLY for pregnant women), you'd think things would change.

In the military my husband's care is totally covered/included, but we have to pay separately for family members to be privately insured (though it is probably heavily subsidized, at $15/pp or $30/family monthly). It still doesn't cover things very well, though.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 3:06 pm 
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I have dental through my workplace and it seems to hardly cover anything on major work...I feel like a dental plan that actually PAYS for things just doesn't really exist. My dentist told me that I had "Wonderful" insurance - really? We payed $3K in dental work last year for my husband with that same "wonderful" plan.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 3:24 pm 
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Yes, the "standard of care" for what dental insurers will cover is so far from market standard. Even when I had great dental insurance they only ever covered metal fillings, not resin or composite, and really I don't know anyone who doesn't get the white, tooth colored composite fillings, because metal looks so .... shiny. It did cover part of extractions, root canals and other work, which was good.

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:17 pm 
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annasrobbie wrote:
I have dental through my workplace and it seems to hardly cover anything on major work...I feel like a dental plan that actually PAYS for things just doesn't really exist. My dentist told me that I had "Wonderful" insurance - really? We payed $3K in dental work last year for my husband with that same "wonderful" plan.


Of our $5000 HSA last year we spent the majority on dental work. I imagine that will keep being the case for the rest of our lives. And we have "great" dental insurance, too. And it's different from medical insurance, because doctors are somewhat forced to accept the insurer's declaration of what's an acceptable amount to charge for stuff (even if they insurer then doesn't cover that amount, you're only liable up to the amount the insurer decides, not the original bill), but with dentists you have to pay whatever the dentist thinks the service is worth, not the insurer.

Tofulish, I only have metal fillings, I don't think they're very noticeable. But it's dumb anyway that insurers don't cover the things dentists consider standard of care now.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 10:49 pm 
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Yeah, my dentist won't even use the metal fillings because they contain mercury, but I have to pay the cost difference between those and composite fillings. They do look better, although they also don't last anywhere near as long. I guess it's a win for dentists?


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:06 pm 
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I don't know if its a win for the dentists, because they'd get paid if insurance covered it. I think its a win for insurance companies because metal is cheaper. I just think its crazy that they get to say what is "standard of care" for a practice, even if clearly it isn't.

And I just want to say how much I hate that people have to start FB pages or donation sites to pay for unexpected medical bills. Not that they do it, because OMG those stories break my heart and I wish I had money to pay all their bills, but the fact that we have a medical establishment that doesn't take care of people when they are at their most vulnerable and weakest. I can't imagine worrying about my child or trying to heal or wondering if my family member is going to survive and also having to jump through all the hoops to make sure that I am going to get reimbursed by my insurance company. You know, for that giant bill because one MD just happened not to be in network, or that one test wasn't covered, or you didn't call the right precertification number before you were rushed into the ER. The whole system seems horrible and awful and if I could move to Europe, I would. (Adopt me?)

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:23 am 
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For those interested:

ADA statement on dental amalgam http://www.ada.org/1741.aspx
ADA Code of Ethics - page 10 dental amalgam and restorative materials - http://www.ada.org/sections/about/pdfs/ ... s_2012.pdf


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:15 am 
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Would you mind summarizing? The ethics PDF has 20 pages and I am on my phone...

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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:37 am 
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The ethics one just says it is unethical to tell patients you are removing amalgam for the purpose of removing toxic materials from the body.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:48 am 
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kimba wrote:
The ethics one just says it is unethical to tell patients you are removing amalgam for the purpose of removing toxic materials from the body.


Yes, I saw that section, but was wondering whether it discusses whether amalgam is the standard of care or not? I have always had dentists recommend the composite, and I guess that is why it feels frustrating that dental insurance won't cover the white resin fillings, even though those are clearly standard in the dental field, right? I just wonder whether there is a reason that only metal is covered.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:53 am 
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Oh it doesn't discuss that. I would say they are both within the standard of care. If a patient wants a white filling on a back tooth, assuming it is doable, our office eats the price difference. I prefer amalgam on back teeth for class ii restorations (that involve the chewing part of the tooth together with the side of the tooth touching the tooth next door). That is what i would get in my own mouth, depending on how visible it is. But for small lesions or ones that are pretty visible i prefer composite resin. And in some cases i prefer glass ionomer. They are all within the standard though.


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 Post subject: Re: My partner is so awesome thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 2:12 pm 
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I only have tiny little surface cavities (the why bother with novocaine sort) on molars and it has never been suggested to me and never occurred to me to ask for a non-metal filling, so there's your counter example of standard for this neck of the woods, tofulish.


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