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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:51 pm 
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Semen Strong
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First, you're not alone! I think that is the nature of parenting - kids testing their and our limits.

Last night Leela woke up every couple of hours to cry, and then fight the boob and then nurse for long stretches. During which I couldn't move and I can't fall asleep because otherwise at some point her teeth close inadvertently on my nip and it hurts. And she sleep cries and makes exhausted me beg for her to please go back to sleep.

I did the same thing you did. Get extra sweet when I realized that I was angry with a baby. Give her pets and kisses and remember that she is only crying or bouncing off walls because that is what her body is doing - she has no control over it and isn't doing it to be mean. And then take a mommy time out if you need one. One of the best pieces of advice I got was that if you're starting to get angry, take a time out and calm down. There are a few times that I have given L to Brett (mostly at the beginning) and said "I just can't right now." And if he isn't home then I put her somewhere safe like her pack n play or wait until she is asleep and then I feel my feelings.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:13 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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Yeah - I didn't get sweet to her in the moment at all. I just took the time out, because I yelled at her, and that was clearly too far. I completely disengaged for an hour and let her be crazy while we waited for my husband to come home. It took me till this morning to get sweet.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:22 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Be nice to yourself! You are sick, overworked and running on fumes! Can Mr A pick up bedtimes while you heal?

Brett does bedtime even if its 4 hours long because I am going to be on standby all night and I need downtime. No shame!

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:24 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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He is definitely doing tonight's bedtime. He also is doing her one overnight wake up now almost always on his own. If she's not kicking me in the head I can't be roused anymore. I have entirely lost that newborn mama spider sense of "the baby is contemplating waking up."


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:30 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Good! You need some sleep! You work crazy long hours, you've been sick for over a month and sleep is your best friend :)

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:18 pm 
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I'm so sorry things are so rough with sleep right now, Ariann. I hope things get better soon <3

As for us: poopiebaby NEEDS a nap during the day, but he has just stopped taking one. I've tried everything I can think of, but nothing works. So he spends the second half of the day being exhausted which leads to frequent melt-downs (and I get ZERO daytime down-time, which I feed like I need in order to not be a mean mummy). Also, I would give nearly anything to have a partner who would help in the bedtime routine (it's not as bad as it used to be, but still). My husband has put Peter to bed once. In 2 1/2 years.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:50 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I screwed up hardcore and L didn't get a nap. She was so tired in the mall and I could have put her down, but I went to IKEA and bought stuff for her toy kitchen and then the window closed and there was no napping. She crawled on my lap at 5:30 and passed out. I hope she sleeps until 7....

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:00 am 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Tonight is the night. Last night up with rolling, kicking, psycho baby. Let the uberAP mommies be damned. My body is so fecked up and I'm keeping her awake too. Her bed, all night, for the win.

In case I die tonight, I've loved you all! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 8:00 am 
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Semen Strong
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Good luck nneJ! I hope you can get some rest and that Freya transitions easily to her own bed. Frankly, I think you are superhuman to have made it for over a year on incredibly fractured sleep.

And just re the uberAP mommies, AP is about doing the best for your family, which means everyone in it, including you.

And thanks for the love ;). If you die, just know we loved you back :)

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:00 pm 
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refinnej, you are amazing and we are all rooting for you! Just remember, you are doing something that needs to be done because all of you need sleep. I know it feels horrible and heartbreaking but you will get through it. Have a glass of whiskey on hand for you to sip!

poopie, I don't mean to pry but you've mentioned having zero help before so may I ask - what the hell is poopieman's problem?


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:57 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I turned up the heat to 70 last night and she slept through the night. Maybe she was nursing because she was cold?

She is in a Mei Tai (Thanks Una!) on my back, sleeping now. How do other people get kids to nap?

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:02 pm 
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You can do it, refinnej! You totally deserve this sleep, and re: AP, shouldn't you just do what makes you a better, happier person and therefore a better, happier mom?


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:16 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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In her bed now, for the evening at least. She took just one nap today, but was quite happy...freaky. Last night was mother forking awful, so today I went out with her to the soft play place and then a super long walk through the back of the park (very quiet and natural), partly because I was afraid of her grouchiness (which didn't appear!) and partly because I was so tired I needed the fresh air/distractions. I found myself sitting on the gym mat next to her at the play thing just zoning at one point. :)

Thanks for the comments about AP-ness. I love the ladies in our LLL group, but there are a few zealots who will surely think I'm rotten for making her sleep in her own bed. I keep thinking about what I read on (I think) Dr. Sears' site about telling your child (and yourself) about all the positive changes that will come from improved nights. Saying out loud to your child things like "when you start sleeping in your own bed, Mommy will get more rest and we can stay at the park longer".

That is interesting about the heat too...I wonder sometimes if Freya is cold in the big bed. *someone* in our house likes it super cold at night. :p

pb, I hope things get sorted out to where poopiebaby keeps that nap for awhile. I know what you mean about down-time. The days that Freya only takes like 20 minute naps or rolls around, or nurses or the whole time, etc...I feel like I could scream. K has been really good about giving me some time in the morning (about 45 minutes usually cuz he has to go to work) where I can have a nap, or just lay on my left side in the bed and not have someone rolling under me or pushing my arm up to nurse, etc. Why does Mr. Poopie not help at night?


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:54 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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poopie - I would forking die if I didn't get bedtime help. That just seems insane. Seriously, that Mr. needs a talking to.
If it were me, I'd probably designate nap time "sit and laze on the couch watching a long, boring movie" and hope he falls asleep. That has worked a couple times with Malka.

We got the heat turned on in Malka's room (we don't control out heat and radiators are just on -boiling- or off - freezing). She doesn't seem to care one way or another, but now her room is intolerable to me. Our bedroom and the kitchen are now the only heat-free places in the apartment.

Last night was bad again. I got ambushed with bedtime responsibility, gave up after an hour, and my husband eventually came home and took care of it, three hours after her usual bedtime. I of course fell asleep on the couch again while he was putting her down. So what, now we're back to having no grown-up night time? I liked my grown up night time SO MUCH. At least she slept in a little this morning. Mr. A spent most of the night in her bedroom. He thinks she's feeling abandoned and he also acknowledges that since she's become more independent, he feels like he's unconsciously asserting his own independence during the day and not making as much of an effort to interact with her. So, yeah, maybe she does feel abandoned (although she seems perfectly happy). I don't know.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:55 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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refinnej - I hope you survive, we love you, too!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:44 pm 
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The last couple night have been awful for us too. Second molars, maybe? So usually she sleeps until a certain time (like 4-5am if we're extremely lucky, but usually earlier) in her own bed and then I take her up mine, where she nurses, conks back out for a while, and then wakes up about half an hour before I'd like and rattles around the room. But lately she goes on a nursing bender, refuses to detach, and when after like an hour I kick her off, roll over, and play dead, she starts yelling at me, scratching at my shirt, tantrumming on the bed, pulling my hair... oh, it's lots of fun. I mean, I'd let her just nurse away if she weren't also being kinda bitey.

And last night putting her in childcare while I went to a meeting meant her whole sleep schedule was screwed up (car to bed transfer unsuccessful) and she was up until about 9:30. Ughh. She was conked out about 3 different times and then instantly woke up when I'd put her in her bed and try to get away.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:57 pm 
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Annak, sometimes we have the same baby.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:54 am 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Lots of sleeping in the recliner, but its a start I hope. Trying to figure out how to calm her to put her back in bed without falling asleep myself. Having a nap now at much later than usual time, but no tired cues before. The one nap vs two naps thing is hard to decide on some days.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 7:21 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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I was so proud of myself doing a mei tai-to-crib transfer today for nap. Never have I been able to do that before! So satisfying.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 7:54 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yay! L naps in my MT and I constantly flub the transfer, so I know what a big deal that is! And that is just to a bed!

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:29 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Awesome! I would do anything to master a car seat -> bed transfer these days. Husband can do it for some reason, but I've done it once.

Vi actually slept great last night. Slept in her bed from about 8pm-4:30am, then nursed and we both slept until the @!#%ing cat woke us both up by knocking the alarm off the nightstand at 6. Lately the cat's been a real PITA about waking up the baby to get fed. Sigh. Haaaaaate husband being gone.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:10 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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Malka was farmed out to the in laws last night, so I had grown up bed time and slept 11 hours. The amazing thing is I had an actual dream, that I remembered! That hasn't happened in months. I could easily go back to bed for the rest of the day.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:16 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Oh hurrah! I am so happy for you!

Leela is out cold, napping. Sleeping is the best.

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 2:06 pm 
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That is amazing, Ariann. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to sleep for that long. One day!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:08 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Sweet! Do you feel completely full of energy and like you could do anything right now?


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