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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:16 pm 
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sashi, we've had this debate too about Dahlia. We've always felt that she MUST nap because she acts like a super jerk when she doesn't, and we just don't have the right schedule to put her to bed an hour early - bedtime is still so close to dinner as it is. For us, even when she's had periods where she goes to her room but doesn't really nap, after a few days she always starts napping again, usually right around the time we're starting to say "fork it, I guess she's done taking naps" haha.

but the whole scheduling with the baby's naps is hard! Ada is in school in the morning, right? So that means you'd probably have to somehow make her nap after school even if Alice has already had her nap, and that's tricky. We're lucky that D doesn't expect us to lay down with her at this point so all H does is read her a story and tuck her in, and then goes back to the living room with S. Any chance you could at least just have Ada have quiet time in her room which may then lead to a little nap? I know it's tough to expect her to be happy alone in her room when she probably just wants to play with Alice!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:24 pm 
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Yeah Ada goes in the morning. Right now Alice sleeps when she is at school and is ready for another nap by the time Ada is home eating lunch. Our thing everyday is Ada eats lunch, then I put Alice down for a nap when Ada is close to finishing lunch and let Ada watch something on the iPad, then when Ada is done I lay down with her. Ada would never sit in her room quietly (especially if Alice is up!) but she will play by herself in the living room (if Alice is sleeping she needs to play in the living room so that Alice doesn't get woken up). Today she decided she didn't want to nap so I told her I need some time to myself if she is not napping and she played next to me on the couch which was fine. I just wonder if she had a week with no nap if her body would adjust and she wouldn't be so off the wall.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:47 pm 
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A friend posted this article, I liked it. http://sweetmadeleine.ca/2013/10/14/her ... ant-sleep/


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 12:17 pm 
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Our dilemma right now is Blasto will not sleep without one of us in his bed. We've managed to get him to stay part of the night in his bed with the help of his dream light and some music, but he almost always crawls in our bed at 2 or 3 in the morning because he can't bear sleeping alone. How did y'all wean your kids from sleeping with you?

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:44 pm 
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So after 2 years of being the best sleeper on the planet, Giles is suddenly a TERROR when it comes to sleeping. PLEASE HELP ME. So we used to do bath, have bottle, read book, lay fully awake child in his crib and then we wouldn't hear from him until the next morning. Suddenly as soon as he even thinks we are heading toward his room he is kicking and flailing and screaming which intensifies when he is actually in his crib. It was only at bedtime, now it is naptime too, AND if we managed to get him to sleep finally he will start in at 3 am...He won't accept any form of comforting while in his crib and if you take him out and soothe him, he starts back over with the screaming when you return him to the crib. He will happily sleep in our bed...but I don't want to start that now at 2 years old! In desperation we tried the cry it out thing - he never stopped crying (and really it isn't crying it is SCREAMING). He is waking up the whole house AND our neighbor (who shares a wall with us). We need an intervention.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:16 pm 
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New to this thread and so this may have been discussed already. Do babies ever fall asleep without help? Getting Addie to nap/sleep is like pulling teeth. There have been many times when we have spent HOURS trying to get her to sleep. Then she'll fall asleep, yay! But then she'll wake up a few mins later and then we have to start all over again. It's awful. Will it get easier? Harder? She's almost 3 months, but 1.5 months for her adjusted age.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:10 pm 
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hey bastah i hate to say this but it really depends on the kid.
Addie is so young that she may not have really developed any sort of daily rhythm yet. im not sure how the adjusted age would affect her sleep but my guess is she's still more like a newborn.

BabyPunk is literally the world's worst sleeper BUT what i can tell you from this end of things (having a 15 month old rather than a 3 month old) it DOES get better.

some kids are good sleepers right away and fall into a rhythm and others are terrible and probably most are in between.

we ended up cosleeping with BP around 7 months old out of complete necessity. she wouldnt sleep anywhere but on top of me.

for many many MANY months BP had to nap on top of me. that was the only way i could get her to nap was if i took up residence on our couch and watched tv for an hour or two while she napped on me.
she's never been in her crib. there was never a point at which i felt like we had any hope of that happening.

i dont remember when i got to start napping in our bed by herself but it was a gradual process.
she also used to only be able to fall asleep nursing.
she is getting better. she can sometimes self settle now and every now and then will fall asleep on her own.
up until the last week and a half (think she has a molar coming in) i could usually count on her taking a good afternoon nap.

lately she's been a horror show but such is life.

BP i think is a bit of an exception to the room with her degree of "barnacleness" but what im getting at is it has gotten better over time.
i moved her nap area to her crib mattress on the floor of her nursery. so that makes me think one day i can transition her to a toddler bed for naps and then for night time sleeps.

so yeah it was a long process but i definitely fit more into the "gentle" parenting spectrum and BP is extremely sensitive and extremely attached to me so i cant envision any other way we could have done it without some sort of trauma.

find what works for your fam.
my only advice is if anyone tells you to do the "cry it out" method do a lot of research before deciding to do it.

so keep at it. she will eventually get there. its HARD. the sleep thing is really hard. and soooooo frustrating. i hear ya on that.
ive had such a hard time with BP for the last 2 weeks because i think she has a molar coming in so she has been waking up CONSTANTLY. last night i think she woke up like 1000 times. then this morning when i finally needed her to be awake because we had a playdate with a high school friend she was passed the fork out and wouldnt wake up. it's enough to make me bash my head against the wall repeatedly.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:26 pm 
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Yeah, it does depend on the kid. I don't want to be too negative, but while things do generally get better, there will most likely be lots of regressions along the way, whether due to teething, illness, (eventually) potty training, or god-knows-what.

With a baby that young, I think a really common problem is not putting them down early enough at night. All my 3 kids did well with a 7 pm bedtime at 2-3 months age, with my son needing to go to bed as early as 6:30 frequently. Our pediatrician pointed out that nearly all young babies do best with a bedtime of 8 pm at the latest.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:30 pm 
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I'm sorry, bastah. It's hard. There's a huge range of when it gets easier. My experience is probably kind of extreme, but Scarlett just fell asleep on her own last night for the first time at 26 months. For about eighteen months it took 30-60 mins to nurse or bottle her to sleep, and since then we have had to lie on the floor next to her crib while she rubs our arm for 30-60 mins until she falls asleep. I recently counted that we had gone through the routine about 2,000 times in her life so far... Yikes.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:58 pm 
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I agree it depends on the child - but also it is so so important to make sure they don't get overtired. There is a book about sleep I purused once (I think the no cry sleep solution) that indicates a 2-3 month old should be up only 45 minutes to 1.5 hours of awake time before having a nap. Sebastian was a monster to get to sleep before I realized he was just way overtired. Now at his very first tired cues (yawn/or vacant stare) I shuffle him off to bed and he usually goes down pretty easily with just a little rocking. The early bedtime is super important too - Bastian goes down at 7, when I was trying to put him down at 9 things did NOT go well!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:45 pm 
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it's a process but find what works for your kid. some kids love the swing. BP never was into the swing.

my parents always tell the story that for the first 9 months of my life my dad had to rock me to sleep in a rocking chair.
my in laws bought us a really nice rocking chair before BP was born but god forbid you sat down in that rocking chair with that child.
she was having NONE of it. you HAD to be standing. somehow she knew the second you sat down, even as a newborn.

she also loved to be walked around which i think is super common with babies.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:38 am 
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Malka had a real bedtime closer to midnight in the beginning, but she took naps like six times a day, almost all of them on us in a carrier or on the nursing pillow. She also ate every two hours round the clock for several months, so even the bedtime was kind of a joke. We didn't make much of an effort to try to put her to sleep on her own, just always boobed or bottled to sleep until she outgrew that eat-sleep connection (6 months?). She occasionally fell asleep on the swing as well. She is almost 3 and still tough to get to sleep. No idea when it gets better, but my feeling is just to not expect much better and organize yourself around it rather than fight it.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:49 am 
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that's a good piece of advice about organizing yourself around it rather than fighting it. you will be much more sane that way.
i hadnt really thought of it that way but i guess that's what ive done.

like i said when she was young i would take up residence on the couch while she napped. sounds nice but it drove me nuts. all i wanted was to be hands free for that hour or two and DO SOMETHING but it didnt work out that way. i watched alot of tv though!

now that she's older we kind of plan our day around what i guess could be called her "sleep schedule" (i use that term very loosely for nonsleeping baby)

for example today is thursday which is the day we need to pick up our CSA veggies in the town i grew up in (40-45 min drive) normally we would leave early and go see my dad who is retired and hang out with him then go to the farm to pick up the vegs together then split them up (we share the CSA with my parents) and would leave when she started to get cranky and it would be naptime on the way home (though sometimes she would also fall asleep on the way there) but since my parents are away this week we'll wait til it's naptime then leave to go to the farm and she will sleep in the car.

we do the same thing if we are going on a day trip or road trip. we wait til 11ish which is the earliest that could ever be considered her naptime (usually sometime between 11 & 1) and then leave so she naps in the car

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:28 pm 
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so non-sleeping baby is definitely going to put me into an early grave. im about to lose my mind.
she's never been a good sleeper but for a good chunk of the summer we had almost worked ourselves into sort of a schedule (i use the term loosely since she is in fact nonsleeping baby)
we would get up between 8 & 8:30 then somewhere between 11 & 1 (usually closer to 1) she would typically nap for a good hour or two.
it was rather nice. i could never *depend* on it to happen reliably but it happened more often than not.

the past 2 weeks have been utter hell. i know there is something tooth related going on because it's the only explanation. i think she's getting another molar. so she wakes up 8000x times a night. she's also super stuffed up/snotty because of the teething. she doesnt mouth or chew things so all the fluid is coming out of her nose so even if i give her tylenol to help with the pain she still cant sleep or continually wakes up because she cant breathe.

so one would THINK she would be tired RIGHT?
lately we've still been getting up between 8 & 8:30 if not earlier but then naptime is such a war. she wont go to sleep. i feel like i spend most of my afternoon trying to get her asleep.
if i can get her asleep one of two things happens now.
a. she keeps waking up which i think i can attritbute to the teeth
OR
b. she PASSED THE fork OUT for like 3 hours but since she falls asleep so damn late she doesnt wake up til like 6 pm which means bedtime is a HORROR SHOW. she doesnt have a set bedtime but usually it's around 8 or 8:30 depending on how awake she is but lately we've gone to bed later because she is wide awake and even when we go to bed she's totally fired up, wont sleep, pushes herself up to sitting on me and is bouncing around, trying to climb all over the bed. then god forbid my husband come in to try to go to bed because DADDY=FUN! so she gets even more crazed.
i literally am about to lose my shiitake.

i dont know if things will go back to what was normal before once this evil forking tooth comes through or if her sleep patterns have changed. i know my best friend was telling me her daughter (month older than BP but has been walking since 9 months) had her sleep patterns change once she started walking because her whole body was more mobile so she was flailing around more in her sleep and thus waking up more. BP doesnt flail around in her sleep but this does coincide with her starting to walk around a lot more

do people WAKE their kids up from naps? im sooooo hesitant to wake her up because it always goes badly. yesterday we were at my aunts house all afternoon so she ended up falling asleep in the car then inevitably on me after i brought her upstairs and when i tried to gently wake her up around 5:30 she basically didnt. all it does it make her scream and cry and fall back asleep.

i dont know if i need to get her up earlier?
do i need to get her to start running 3 miles a day so she will nap?

she still needs a nap because if she doesnt nap in the afternoon she will fall asleep at like dinnertime then wake up later and then not go to bed.

today i was gone all morning and got back around 12:30 so i figured it would be perfect. she would nurse then drift sweetly off to sleep for the perfect timing of nap time. my husband said she got up at 8:20ish and they did a lot of walking around the yard and playing. it's 2:30 now and there has already been two failed nap attempts and many tears (mine)

sleep is all on me because she wont sleep for anyone else. it is RARE she would snuggle up and actually fall asleep on my husbamd. usually she will boob to sleep so ive been fighting this fight for 15 months and im soooooo doooonnnnneeeeeee

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:39 am 
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This probably should go in the vent thread - but SLEEP!!! Why does this baby not sleep? I am so sleep deprived my daytime functioning is really hitting an all-time low (ie made the coffee AND steam sterilized bottles without water). My boss took me aside at work and asked how things were going at home since she had seen a decline in both my productivity and the quality of my reports... . Her unsolicited advice was that my Stay at home husband needed to be the one getting up and doing the baby care at night. I mostly agree at this point because it is obviously affecting the quality of my work but really if he would JUST SLEEP (and when my husband does the baby care I still end up awake because he is more of a "let the baby fuss and whine until he is REALLY crying and only then do you get out of bed and first pee and have a glass of water and then check on the baby!!!") I was up last night at 10, 1, 2, 2:30, 3, 3:30, and then again at 6, 6:30 with him and after that I don't know because I went to work at 7. I have tried sleeping with him and he was worse. He doesn't seem to be in pain or anything - He drinks about 4 oz every 2-3 hours. Some of the wakenings he is just crying and if I go in and lay with him 3 or 4 minutes he goes right back out - other times he is just AWAKE and doesn't wanta bottle or pacifier or lullaby...
I know people say it is hit or miss but I think I am going to try the "grandma" recommendation of rice cereal before bed. He has been eating an insane amount of breastmilk at night - 20 ounces on average overnight - so maybe something that will make him feel fuller longer will help us?! I really didn't want to introduce food before 6 months because of all that stuff about allergies and gut health - but something has got to give.

He sleeps swaddled in his his own room with blackout shades and a sound machine. He uses a pacifier (which is usuallly still in his mouth when he cries for me at night). ANY suggestions? Anybody who found solids to be the great panacea?


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 1:17 pm 
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Can you talk to your husband? It sounds like you're doing a lot of the night-time parenting and that doesn't work for you.

We used Aubade's suggestion - I took over all the night time stuff, because my partner works and then in the morning he would wake up and take her and give me a few hours of alone sleep. Could you get your partner to do something like that - even if it means him sleeping in baby's room for a bit, so that he wakes before you do?

I hope you get lots of good advice - I wish I had any advice as to how to get a kiddo to sleep! Leela wasn't ever a particularly good sleeper.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 7:25 pm 
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So, the internet says that I should start some sort of bedtime routine around 6-8 weeks of age or she will be a bad sleeper for the rest of her life. Stella is 6 weeks old and we have been having nightly baths around 7-8 pm, followed by nursing and rocking until she falls asleep. My husband and I will usually hold her while she sleeps while we watch tv or a movie or something, until we all go bed together around 11-midnight. Right now we are co-sleeping out of pure laziness and selfishness from me not wanting to go through that cycle of transferring her out of my bed after nursing at 4 am (she wakes right up no matter how long I wait to transfer her!) I know we will have to eventually start putting her in her crib or in the pack 'n play after the bath/nursing session instead of just holding her, but we both kinda love it still (so cuddly and cute!) It also gives my husband more time with her (even if she is sleeping) as she mostly just wants me and my boobs during the day. I guess my question is, did you really start at 6-8 weeks of age or did you just go with whatever works best at the time? When did you actually start becoming strict about bedtimes? What do other co-sleepers do about your kid going to sleep hours before you do (i.e. where do you put him/her?) She is a really good sleeper now, usually giving me 2-3 hours before I head to bed with her, a 4 hour stretch, followed by a 2-3 hour stretch, and then another 2-3 hour stretch.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2014 3:12 pm 
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My Zoetrope, you should probably take my advice with a grain of salt since my kid has always been a terrible sleeper. (Like, at the hospital the nurses couldn't believe it. Like she didn't sleep for 4-5 hours til nearly 21 months). But, she is finally starting to sleep well now, and no one else has replied, so why not me?

I think if you are happy with what you're doing now, that's great. Keep doing it. It sounds like you already have a bedtime routine, which I think is the most important part--being consistent about the cues that mean "time to sleep now!" Maybe when Stella is a bit bigger you'll add other parts to that routine, like brushing teeth, reading stories, or singing a song.

As far as co-sleeping, for a long time we just put tiny wu in our bed even if we weren't there. I'd prop up some big pillows on the side so she couldn't roll off. Once she got more mobile I'd nurse her down, then put her on a mattress on the floor until we went to bed, then she'd come in with us. Now she sleeps on a mattress in her own "room" and walks into our room asking for milk and snuggles if she wakes up. Lately that's anywhere between 1 and 6 AM, but once she's in our bed, she'll sleep through til the morning. She has never slept in a crib or other confined space. Mr Scandi and I are both pretty happy with this situation.

I'm a bit confused when you say you'll eventually have to put Stella in the crib. Is that because you don't want to continue co-sleeping, or because you want her to fall asleep by herself without nursing down? I guess my biggest and best advice is to figure out with your partner what your sleep goals are and then try out different approaches to get there.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2014 3:58 pm 
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ScandinaVegan wrote:
My Zoetrope, you should probably take my advice with a grain of salt since my kid has always been a terrible sleeper. (Like, at the hospital the nurses couldn't believe it. Like she didn't sleep for 4-5 hours til nearly 21 months). But, she is finally starting to sleep well now, and no one else has replied, so why not me?

I think if you are happy with what you're doing now, that's great. Keep doing it. It sounds like you already have a bedtime routine, which I think is the most important part--being consistent about the cues that mean "time to sleep now!" Maybe when Stella is a bit bigger you'll add other parts to that routine, like brushing teeth, reading stories, or singing a song.

As far as co-sleeping, for a long time we just put tiny wu in our bed even if we weren't there. I'd prop up some big pillows on the side so she couldn't roll off. Once she got more mobile I'd nurse her down, then put her on a mattress on the floor until we went to bed, then she'd come in with us. Now she sleeps on a mattress in her own "room" and walks into our room asking for milk and snuggles if she wakes up. Lately that's anywhere between 1 and 6 AM, but once she's in our bed, she'll sleep through til the morning. She has never slept in a crib or other confined space. Mr Scandi and I are both pretty happy with this situation.

I'm a bit confused when you say you'll eventually have to put Stella in the crib. Is that because you don't want to continue co-sleeping, or because you want her to fall asleep by herself without nursing down? I guess my biggest and best advice is to figure out with your partner what your sleep goals are and then try out different approaches to get there.


Thanks! I think I am a bit contradictory in my sleep goals for her, since I super-love co-sleeping with her and her falling asleep in my arms, but I also do want her to be able to fall asleep on her own eventually. I guess what prompted this is my cousin talking about their "routine" for their baby (who is two days older than S), and it was just a lot more rigid than what we are doing and made me feel a bit bad (like I'm setting her up for failure sleep-wise or something. Total nonsense I know!) We are just going to stick with what we are doing now, but are actively trying to get her used to being laid down in the crib or pack 'n play for naps (she won't stay asleep! One of us always has to hold her for naps!)

I do eventually want to put her in a crib when she is older, but mostly because we do hope to have another child sooner rather than later.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2014 4:30 pm 
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ahhhh sleep......take what i have to say with a grain of salt as well since i am parent to the world's worst sleeper but my advice is to do what you feel is right for your family and not care what anyone else (the interwebs, your cousin, etc) says.

i agree with a lot of what ScandinaVegan said.
if you enjoy cosleeping then continue ever onward! from birth to 7 months BP slept in a cosleeper next to me and then actually coslept in the bed with us after that ever since mostly out of necessity. she still at 18 months wakes up at least 2-3 times a night on a good night. on a bad night roughly 8000 times.

there is a lot of research on the benefits of cosleeping as being good for the bebe so my own personal opinion is that cosleeping and boobin to sleep aren't creating bad habits.
that being said i am a stay at home mom and im not planning on having another kid anytime soon if ever so i do have a certain luxury of being able to deal with letting BP work out her terrible sleep on her own terms rather than trying to enforce a stricter bedtime.

i *do* think the routine is important though. i think the routine you have sounds great. like ScandinaVegan said consistancy is key. we do storytime with my husband who at some point in there does a diaper change and jammies then more books, then he brings her to me in the bedroom and we nurse until she falls asleep then i try to move her next to me and pray she sleeps for more than 5 seconds.

there is no version of reality in which i think BP ever would have been able to be transferred to a crib and actually sleep there but that's just her. if you stick with the routine you may find at some point Stella is easy to transfer from your arms to a crib or whatever. personally if you plan on breastfeeding for a long time i think cosleeping just makes it a ton easier on YOU.

there is an age at which it does become harder to switch them to their own room because of the seperation anxiety phase but i cant remember when. i think it's like they say to do it before 4 months old becuase after that it becomes harder but again i think everyone's kid is different;

my own personal opinion is trying to enforce a strict bedtime sounds like a losing battle.

as far as what i do when she goes to bed. typically i go to bed with her and that can be anywhere between 8 and 10 but usually by 8:30-9.then once she is asleep (and while she's nursing) ill fork around on my phone or read an ebook on my phone. occasionally if she needs to go to bed and i am no where near ready i will get back up and go in the next room over and play on the interwebs. for the longest time ever she would not roll even though she knew how. so i knew if she was on her back she wasnt going anywhere. once she got more mobile i got a lot more nervous and eventually we put a bedrail on my side of the bed but mainly i just stay close by and if i hear her i go back in and nurse her back to sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:44 pm 
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Our routine is about as simple as yours. He has milk/formula, gets a new diaper and fresh clothing (usually). Then we put him in the crib, give him a pacifier, and turn on the noise machine. I'd like to add reading a book to this, but he often is too tired to stretch things out any longer.

I don't think we had an official bed time (or nap times) until after he started daycare. And even now, we sort of wing it. He goes to bed sometime between 6:30 and 8:30, whenever he starts showing signs of being sleepy.

I really think it mostly comes down to temperament. Some kids have an easier time sleeping than others.

Though if you haven't tried a white noise machine, they're magical. A white noise machine + a swing is even better if they're fighting sleep.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:15 pm 
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My Zoetrope wrote:
Thanks! I think I am a bit contradictory in my sleep goals for her, since I super-love co-sleeping with her and her falling asleep in my arms, but I also do want her to be able to fall asleep on her own eventually. I guess what prompted this is my cousin talking about their "routine" for their baby (who is two days older than S), and it was just a lot more rigid than what we are doing and made me feel a bit bad (like I'm setting her up for failure sleep-wise or something. Total nonsense I know!) We are just going to stick with what we are doing now, but are actively trying to get her used to being laid down in the crib or pack 'n play for naps (she won't stay asleep! One of us always has to hold her for naps!)

I do eventually want to put her in a crib when she is older, but mostly because we do hope to have another child sooner rather than later.


Caveat: my sweetheart and I have Little Nettle in a crib in our room but don't co-sleep because that would essentially be like putting her in bed with two angry thrashing bears all night. Inadvisable.

My Zoetrope, don't compare yourself to your cousin! The question is: Is what you're doing working for you and Stella? She's also still so young, and you're doing a smart thing by actively practicing putting her in her crib, especially if she's drowsy but still awake. And even if she doesn't sleep at every nap, solo playtime is important! Later you can work on the crib every time, too, with swaddling if you like and then without.

My sweetheart's sister's bebe is a month older than ours and they have what I would call a super routine that starts at the same time every night. They give him a bath, walk him down the hall while playing the same song, change into pajamas, swaddle, close the blinds, read a book, some other things I am forgetting, but there were a lot of steps.

Our routine started simple out of necessity. I was recovering from a kind of gnarly emergency csection and my sweetheart's back got thrown out the next day. I had grand plans for baths and pajamas and story time every night but those got thrown to the wayside since the two of us could barely stand - and you know what? It really is just fine to have a simple routine.

What we're doing at four months: If we're clever we manage to get our bebe in pajamas in time for her sleep cycle to start (we do the 90 minute sleep solution, which works for us; changing her clothes sometimes gets her all riled up and ready to play), we turn on the white noise and walk her around to soothe her for five minutes or so, sometimes sing to her,* kiss her forehead or rub her tummy, say good night and put her in her crib. Uh, the end. If she's having a rough time because of a developmental leap week, we sometimes let her fall asleep in her bouncer in the same room as us because she doesn't like to fall asleep alone at those times and then transfer her to her crib.

At first when my sweetheart's sister told me about her routine I was like OMG WE ARE BREAKING OUR BEBE'S SLEEP because our routine is not as elaborate - it doesn't even start at the same time every day, though it does start at the same point in her sleep cycle - and, sure, sometimes she sleeps in her clothes but yeah, she's doing fine.

I don't really have any advice for a bebe that will only nap on you but I will tell you that 1) Little Nettle would not stay asleep and catnapped for like 8 minutes four times a day before we started doing the 90 minute thing and now she usually naps much longer and 2) our pediatrician said as long as she was catnapping at all not to worry about anything.

*A challenge for parents who don't know kid's songs or lullabies! My sweetheart favors Robyn Hitchcock and improvising these days; I sometimes hum Hey Hey, My My.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 4:58 pm 
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Thanks everyone, I love hearing all the different routines.

madeleine.teacup: DEFINITELY looking into this 90 minute sleep solution. I am amazed at kiddos that will go down drowsy, not asleep, and fall asleep on their own. Thanks for bringing that up!

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 5:42 pm 
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My Zoetrope wrote:
Thanks everyone, I love hearing all the different routines.

madeleine.teacup: DEFINITELY looking into this 90 minute sleep solution. I am amazed at kiddos that will go down drowsy, not asleep, and fall asleep on their own. Thanks for bringing that up!


The different routines really are interesting! I feel reassured knowing that we aren't the only ones with a bedtime "range" instead of a set time.

The 90 minute sleep solution was recommended to us by my sweetheart's old boss and seriously, it was kind of like magic - I know nothing will 100% work for every kid but this was a revelation for us. And if for some reason Little Nettle skips a nap (currently there is a ton of loud construction across the street, there might be a knock at the door or a car honking that jolts her awake just as she's drifting off, &c) I know that if she makes it another 90 minutes she is likely to just conk the heck out then. Obviously I keep an eye out for sleepy signals on the way but it's comforting to know she won't stay awake forever!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2014 4:10 pm 
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Of course, today a butterfly flapped its wings and I have to confess we skipped two naps in a row, but that's generally a rarity, thank goodness. Also there's the whole developmental leap week thing, which has meant things go somewhat sideways for sleep that week, plus a few days on either side of it.

Folks with bebes older than Little Nettle - 4 months - when did your bebes start "consolidating naps?" I know that at 4 months there's a whole sleep regression thing too, so I'm both curious and alarmed to hear about that if any of you have any stories or advice.


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