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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:16 pm 
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sashi, we've had this debate too about Dahlia. We've always felt that she MUST nap because she acts like a super jerk when she doesn't, and we just don't have the right schedule to put her to bed an hour early - bedtime is still so close to dinner as it is. For us, even when she's had periods where she goes to her room but doesn't really nap, after a few days she always starts napping again, usually right around the time we're starting to say "fork it, I guess she's done taking naps" haha.

but the whole scheduling with the baby's naps is hard! Ada is in school in the morning, right? So that means you'd probably have to somehow make her nap after school even if Alice has already had her nap, and that's tricky. We're lucky that D doesn't expect us to lay down with her at this point so all H does is read her a story and tuck her in, and then goes back to the living room with S. Any chance you could at least just have Ada have quiet time in her room which may then lead to a little nap? I know it's tough to expect her to be happy alone in her room when she probably just wants to play with Alice!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:24 pm 
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Chip Strong
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Yeah Ada goes in the morning. Right now Alice sleeps when she is at school and is ready for another nap by the time Ada is home eating lunch. Our thing everyday is Ada eats lunch, then I put Alice down for a nap when Ada is close to finishing lunch and let Ada watch something on the iPad, then when Ada is done I lay down with her. Ada would never sit in her room quietly (especially if Alice is up!) but she will play by herself in the living room (if Alice is sleeping she needs to play in the living room so that Alice doesn't get woken up). Today she decided she didn't want to nap so I told her I need some time to myself if she is not napping and she played next to me on the couch which was fine. I just wonder if she had a week with no nap if her body would adjust and she wouldn't be so off the wall.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:47 pm 
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A friend posted this article, I liked it. http://sweetmadeleine.ca/2013/10/14/her ... ant-sleep/


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 12:17 pm 
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Our dilemma right now is Blasto will not sleep without one of us in his bed. We've managed to get him to stay part of the night in his bed with the help of his dream light and some music, but he almost always crawls in our bed at 2 or 3 in the morning because he can't bear sleeping alone. How did y'all wean your kids from sleeping with you?

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:44 pm 
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So after 2 years of being the best sleeper on the planet, Giles is suddenly a TERROR when it comes to sleeping. PLEASE HELP ME. So we used to do bath, have bottle, read book, lay fully awake child in his crib and then we wouldn't hear from him until the next morning. Suddenly as soon as he even thinks we are heading toward his room he is kicking and flailing and screaming which intensifies when he is actually in his crib. It was only at bedtime, now it is naptime too, AND if we managed to get him to sleep finally he will start in at 3 am...He won't accept any form of comforting while in his crib and if you take him out and soothe him, he starts back over with the screaming when you return him to the crib. He will happily sleep in our bed...but I don't want to start that now at 2 years old! In desperation we tried the cry it out thing - he never stopped crying (and really it isn't crying it is SCREAMING). He is waking up the whole house AND our neighbor (who shares a wall with us). We need an intervention.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:16 pm 
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New to this thread and so this may have been discussed already. Do babies ever fall asleep without help? Getting Addie to nap/sleep is like pulling teeth. There have been many times when we have spent HOURS trying to get her to sleep. Then she'll fall asleep, yay! But then she'll wake up a few mins later and then we have to start all over again. It's awful. Will it get easier? Harder? She's almost 3 months, but 1.5 months for her adjusted age.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:10 pm 
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hey bastah i hate to say this but it really depends on the kid.
Addie is so young that she may not have really developed any sort of daily rhythm yet. im not sure how the adjusted age would affect her sleep but my guess is she's still more like a newborn.

BabyPunk is literally the world's worst sleeper BUT what i can tell you from this end of things (having a 15 month old rather than a 3 month old) it DOES get better.

some kids are good sleepers right away and fall into a rhythm and others are terrible and probably most are in between.

we ended up cosleeping with BP around 7 months old out of complete necessity. she wouldnt sleep anywhere but on top of me.

for many many MANY months BP had to nap on top of me. that was the only way i could get her to nap was if i took up residence on our couch and watched tv for an hour or two while she napped on me.
she's never been in her crib. there was never a point at which i felt like we had any hope of that happening.

i dont remember when i got to start napping in our bed by herself but it was a gradual process.
she also used to only be able to fall asleep nursing.
she is getting better. she can sometimes self settle now and every now and then will fall asleep on her own.
up until the last week and a half (think she has a molar coming in) i could usually count on her taking a good afternoon nap.

lately she's been a horror show but such is life.

BP i think is a bit of an exception to the room with her degree of "barnacleness" but what im getting at is it has gotten better over time.
i moved her nap area to her crib mattress on the floor of her nursery. so that makes me think one day i can transition her to a toddler bed for naps and then for night time sleeps.

so yeah it was a long process but i definitely fit more into the "gentle" parenting spectrum and BP is extremely sensitive and extremely attached to me so i cant envision any other way we could have done it without some sort of trauma.

find what works for your fam.
my only advice is if anyone tells you to do the "cry it out" method do a lot of research before deciding to do it.

so keep at it. she will eventually get there. its HARD. the sleep thing is really hard. and soooooo frustrating. i hear ya on that.
ive had such a hard time with BP for the last 2 weeks because i think she has a molar coming in so she has been waking up CONSTANTLY. last night i think she woke up like 1000 times. then this morning when i finally needed her to be awake because we had a playdate with a high school friend she was passed the fork out and wouldnt wake up. it's enough to make me bash my head against the wall repeatedly.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:26 pm 
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Yeah, it does depend on the kid. I don't want to be too negative, but while things do generally get better, there will most likely be lots of regressions along the way, whether due to teething, illness, (eventually) potty training, or god-knows-what.

With a baby that young, I think a really common problem is not putting them down early enough at night. All my 3 kids did well with a 7 pm bedtime at 2-3 months age, with my son needing to go to bed as early as 6:30 frequently. Our pediatrician pointed out that nearly all young babies do best with a bedtime of 8 pm at the latest.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:30 pm 
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I'm sorry, bastah. It's hard. There's a huge range of when it gets easier. My experience is probably kind of extreme, but Scarlett just fell asleep on her own last night for the first time at 26 months. For about eighteen months it took 30-60 mins to nurse or bottle her to sleep, and since then we have had to lie on the floor next to her crib while she rubs our arm for 30-60 mins until she falls asleep. I recently counted that we had gone through the routine about 2,000 times in her life so far... Yikes.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:58 pm 
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I agree it depends on the child - but also it is so so important to make sure they don't get overtired. There is a book about sleep I purused once (I think the no cry sleep solution) that indicates a 2-3 month old should be up only 45 minutes to 1.5 hours of awake time before having a nap. Sebastian was a monster to get to sleep before I realized he was just way overtired. Now at his very first tired cues (yawn/or vacant stare) I shuffle him off to bed and he usually goes down pretty easily with just a little rocking. The early bedtime is super important too - Bastian goes down at 7, when I was trying to put him down at 9 things did NOT go well!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:45 pm 
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it's a process but find what works for your kid. some kids love the swing. BP never was into the swing.

my parents always tell the story that for the first 9 months of my life my dad had to rock me to sleep in a rocking chair.
my in laws bought us a really nice rocking chair before BP was born but god forbid you sat down in that rocking chair with that child.
she was having NONE of it. you HAD to be standing. somehow she knew the second you sat down, even as a newborn.

she also loved to be walked around which i think is super common with babies.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:38 am 
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Malka had a real bedtime closer to midnight in the beginning, but she took naps like six times a day, almost all of them on us in a carrier or on the nursing pillow. She also ate every two hours round the clock for several months, so even the bedtime was kind of a joke. We didn't make much of an effort to try to put her to sleep on her own, just always boobed or bottled to sleep until she outgrew that eat-sleep connection (6 months?). She occasionally fell asleep on the swing as well. She is almost 3 and still tough to get to sleep. No idea when it gets better, but my feeling is just to not expect much better and organize yourself around it rather than fight it.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:49 am 
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that's a good piece of advice about organizing yourself around it rather than fighting it. you will be much more sane that way.
i hadnt really thought of it that way but i guess that's what ive done.

like i said when she was young i would take up residence on the couch while she napped. sounds nice but it drove me nuts. all i wanted was to be hands free for that hour or two and DO SOMETHING but it didnt work out that way. i watched alot of tv though!

now that she's older we kind of plan our day around what i guess could be called her "sleep schedule" (i use that term very loosely for nonsleeping baby)

for example today is thursday which is the day we need to pick up our CSA veggies in the town i grew up in (40-45 min drive) normally we would leave early and go see my dad who is retired and hang out with him then go to the farm to pick up the vegs together then split them up (we share the CSA with my parents) and would leave when she started to get cranky and it would be naptime on the way home (though sometimes she would also fall asleep on the way there) but since my parents are away this week we'll wait til it's naptime then leave to go to the farm and she will sleep in the car.

we do the same thing if we are going on a day trip or road trip. we wait til 11ish which is the earliest that could ever be considered her naptime (usually sometime between 11 & 1) and then leave so she naps in the car

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:28 pm 
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so non-sleeping baby is definitely going to put me into an early grave. im about to lose my mind.
she's never been a good sleeper but for a good chunk of the summer we had almost worked ourselves into sort of a schedule (i use the term loosely since she is in fact nonsleeping baby)
we would get up between 8 & 8:30 then somewhere between 11 & 1 (usually closer to 1) she would typically nap for a good hour or two.
it was rather nice. i could never *depend* on it to happen reliably but it happened more often than not.

the past 2 weeks have been utter hell. i know there is something tooth related going on because it's the only explanation. i think she's getting another molar. so she wakes up 8000x times a night. she's also super stuffed up/snotty because of the teething. she doesnt mouth or chew things so all the fluid is coming out of her nose so even if i give her tylenol to help with the pain she still cant sleep or continually wakes up because she cant breathe.

so one would THINK she would be tired RIGHT?
lately we've still been getting up between 8 & 8:30 if not earlier but then naptime is such a war. she wont go to sleep. i feel like i spend most of my afternoon trying to get her asleep.
if i can get her asleep one of two things happens now.
a. she keeps waking up which i think i can attritbute to the teeth
OR
b. she PASSED THE fork OUT for like 3 hours but since she falls asleep so damn late she doesnt wake up til like 6 pm which means bedtime is a HORROR SHOW. she doesnt have a set bedtime but usually it's around 8 or 8:30 depending on how awake she is but lately we've gone to bed later because she is wide awake and even when we go to bed she's totally fired up, wont sleep, pushes herself up to sitting on me and is bouncing around, trying to climb all over the bed. then god forbid my husband come in to try to go to bed because DADDY=FUN! so she gets even more crazed.
i literally am about to lose my shiitake.

i dont know if things will go back to what was normal before once this evil forking tooth comes through or if her sleep patterns have changed. i know my best friend was telling me her daughter (month older than BP but has been walking since 9 months) had her sleep patterns change once she started walking because her whole body was more mobile so she was flailing around more in her sleep and thus waking up more. BP doesnt flail around in her sleep but this does coincide with her starting to walk around a lot more

do people WAKE their kids up from naps? im sooooo hesitant to wake her up because it always goes badly. yesterday we were at my aunts house all afternoon so she ended up falling asleep in the car then inevitably on me after i brought her upstairs and when i tried to gently wake her up around 5:30 she basically didnt. all it does it make her scream and cry and fall back asleep.

i dont know if i need to get her up earlier?
do i need to get her to start running 3 miles a day so she will nap?

she still needs a nap because if she doesnt nap in the afternoon she will fall asleep at like dinnertime then wake up later and then not go to bed.

today i was gone all morning and got back around 12:30 so i figured it would be perfect. she would nurse then drift sweetly off to sleep for the perfect timing of nap time. my husband said she got up at 8:20ish and they did a lot of walking around the yard and playing. it's 2:30 now and there has already been two failed nap attempts and many tears (mine)

sleep is all on me because she wont sleep for anyone else. it is RARE she would snuggle up and actually fall asleep on my husbamd. usually she will boob to sleep so ive been fighting this fight for 15 months and im soooooo doooonnnnneeeeeee

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