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What time do your kids go to bed?
7pm 17%  17%  [ 6 ]
8pm 33%  33%  [ 12 ]
9pm 28%  28%  [ 10 ]
10pm 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
11pm 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
whenever I can get them to sleep 14%  14%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 36
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 Post subject: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:21 am 
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ol' garly cooch
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Just curious. Now that it is summer, I've been putting the kids to bed a little later. I just wanted to get a feel of what everyone else does. I'm rethinking the night time strategy because with Blasto--it's just not working anymore. I used to really have my game on and could get them both down and have a couple hours to myself to clean and relax. I'm not sure it has to do with the move, his age, or what. I just know something has to change. Please tell me about your night time routine.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:02 am 
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well tzippy is only 17 months, so kind of in a different place than blasto. i said 8pm, but 8:30 pm is usually the latest she's in bed.

we have two bedtime routines, and one gets her to bed before 7pm, and one gets her to bed by 8ish. they are completely dictated by my husband's work schedule... if i want her to be asleep by 7pm or earlier, i have to make sure she's asleep before he gets home, or the whole thing goes out the window as soon as he walks through the door. when he's working later, we generally graze throughout the afternoon and have a bigger snack/dinner by 5pm. then i run her bath, we play in there for a bit, then diaper, nursing, and hopefully, she's out. this is also possible when my husband is home super early, and i've gotten my act together enough to have dinner ready to eat immediately... then we have time to play in the bath, chat over dinner, leisurely dry her off and get dressed. he really is a huge distraction for her, so the chances of her being sleepy enough to fall asleep within an hour of daddy coming home are pretty slim.

normally, mr. littlebird comes home, we finish making dinner, eat, rescue overtired cranky baby from highchair, rush through bath and get a diaper and pjs on her and her on my boob before absolute melt-down. i find it highly annoying, not having a firm evening schedule, but my husband seems to be completely incapable of finishing work and getting home at the same time every day, and i find myself incapable of getting a decent meal into the two of us and getting through the bedtime routine by myself more than once or twice a week.

we don't have ANY extras in our bedtime though... no stories, no songs (i usually hum a little something while nursing), no tooth brushing... we forgo bath when it's not stinking hot and she isn't smeared with whatever. i just don't really like bedtime to take much longer than it already does, and we have plenty of time for futzing around during the rest of the day.

my favourite bedtime is when she's asleep before he gets home. i feel bad because it means he doesn't see her, but it means i've gotten at least 10 or 15 minutes to decompress before he arrives, dinner is leisurely and something she can't eat (spicy, or whatever) and the rest of the evening proceeds in a lovely relaxed manner.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:11 am 
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We aim for 8:30, but it ends up like 9 sometimes, 8:15 sometimes.

We also keep it minimal. (No bath. This kid's baths take like 65 minutes.). We change diaper and clothes, brush teeth, read him two books (one from each parent), I put him in bed and sing him max 3 songs, kiss him goodnight, shut the door. Generally this takes about 20 minutes start to finish.

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Last edited by coldandsleepy on Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:12 am 
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We're lazy. Ezra just goes to sleep in between us whenever we're ready for sleep (which honestly is around 8:30 or so). We usually read for an hour and he falls asleep pretty quickly. It has always worked well for us! I'm nervous about some day him sleeping in his own room and having to get him to go down to sleep on his own while we're still up.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:34 am 
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The 6 year old at 7.30 and the 9 year old at 8.30 though we've extended these by half an hour because we're on holiday.. Once the eldest is 10 she'll be allowed a 9pm bedtime all year and she can't wait!

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:44 am 
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I voted 10pm, although it's usually between 9:30-10. That seems kinda late but it works for us since I don't go in to work til noon and get home around 8. We've been fortunate that Dahlia is a good sleeper and will sleep til around 9am, although we definitely go through those periods of her getting up inexplicably several times a night etc. Right now we are in a "good period" and it is so fabulous that I'm able to forget the exhaustion that happens during the bad ones hahah. Ugh however, I am kinda a lazy mama and one thing that helps Dahlia settle into bed is having a sippy cup (water) which I know is going to be disastrous for eventual nighttime potty training but I guess I'll deal with that then. I also feel bad that she eats her dinner just an hour before bed, which is again due to my work hours 'cause we sit down for the meal as a family but well, it doesnt seem to be doing any harm.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:26 am 
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I went with 8, but I often shoot for 7:30 or so because she gets so tired and can't/won't naps. She's 4.5 so summer doesn't mean that much different for her other than I'm home all day every day.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:30 am 
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I said 7 but it's really between 7 and 8, depending on how tired he is. On days I work I get home around 5:20, so the routine goes like this: nurse, play for about 30 minutes, eat dinner, bath and/or play some more if he's not dirty or tired, read 2 books, change diaper, nurse, crib.

A couple times I've had him up past 8 and it gets hairy. He really seems to respond well to the routine. I was a bit bummed because we couldn't go to fireworks this year due to his bedtime. I'm really sort of over always having to be home by 7pm! It will be nice when he finally goes to sleep without me so he can stay with grandma for a night and I can go out.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:00 pm 
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We eat dinner around 6:30. Then if it's cool enough out, I wipe him down with a wet rag and we walk the dogs. Sometimes that puts him to sleep, but we do a bath when we get home even if I have to wake him up, because otherwise he'd have food fermenting in all his fat folds. Then I put on his nighttime diaper and pjs (he is always fussy during this time, because he knows that nursing comes next and HURRY UP, WOMAN). Then I lay down with him and nurse him to sleep, and after he's been asleep for 5 minutes or so I can move him to his crib and go downstairs. From bath to crib usually takes 30-40 minutes; he's usually asleep by 8-8:30. Sometimes I Iisten to a podcast or baseball on the radio while I'm waiting for him to fall asleep.

We usually have at least one false start, where he wakes up about 20 minutes after I go downstairs. Sometimes I can get him back to sleep without taking him out of his crib by just holding his arms down (human swaddle), but sometimes I have to lay down and nurse him again. There are occasional nights when he wakes up every 15 minutes wanting me, and I end up going up and down the stairs all evening and I get no alone time, and then I become very grouchy. I'm waiting for him to grow out of that.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:31 pm 
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My two year old goes to sleep at 7 which I like because it gives me a few hours to myself. Unfortunately he also wakes up at 5 in the morning. That part is not quite as nice.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:11 pm 
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I put in my vote for 9, because that's when he actually finally falls asleep. Or later.
We start the bedtime routine at 8 (moved from 7:30 for the summer) with potty, pjs, and teeth brushing. Then we read a book on the couch, and one book in his room. Then he asks for something from me (rocking in his chair, singing songs) or looks at books in his bed. After I leave, we begin the nightly song-and-dance routine of "I Need to go Pee/Poo", "Something's Wrong in My Room", "My Belly is Hungry", and "I Can't Sleep (Because I'm Not Even Trying)".
Ideally, I'd love it if he was out by 8:30. So I could actually sit down at some point before falling into bed at like 10.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:21 pm 
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8 was closest so I picked that. Her bedtime is 7:30 and sometimes she goes to bed within a few minutes of that, sometimes she stays up for 30 minutes or so "reading" and sometimes an hour or so after bedtime she comes into the living room to show me something funny from one of her books.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:44 pm 
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I picked 8, but we try to aim for 7:30. He gets his pjs on, teeth brushed, goes pee, picks a story, we read, hugs and kisses, lights off. If he wants to play with his stuffed animals in his bed with the light off, that's fine. Just as long as he stays in bed.
If he smells funky in the evenings, a shower will be included somewhere in the routine.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:07 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
We aim for 8:30, but it ends up like 9 sometimes, 8:15 sometimes.


...and occasionally, on really delightful evenings, like 10:30pm.

That guarantees that the next day will be AWESOME.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:26 pm 
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solipsistnation wrote:
coldandsleepy wrote:
We aim for 8:30, but it ends up like 9 sometimes, 8:15 sometimes.


...and occasionally, on really delightful evenings, like 10:30pm.

That guarantees that the next day will be AWESOME.


Yeah. The thing with his bedtime routine is that while it works wonderfully maybe 90% of the time, the rest of the time it doesn't work at all.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:43 pm 
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You all are making me feel like an awful mother.
I voted "whenever I can get them to sleep", which, on busy, napless days can be around 7 or 8, but on most nights is somewhere between 9:30 and 11. Or, rarely, around midnight.
For the most part, it's because I have given up on making dinner before anybody else is home, and my parents don't get home from work until around 7 most nights, so that means dinner is often at around 9. It's not a great routine, but it's better than me accidentally setting the house on fire while trying to deal with two kids fighting, making messes, running between my legs, and generally running amok.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:50 pm 
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I wanted to add that besides the late dinners, I also have no patience for the futility of trying to get the kids to sleep when they are not sleepy. I can't stand lying there with two kids giggling and wiggling and climbing all over me. If they don't settle down with all the lights turned out within 10 minutes or so, I let them back out of the room. God, I'm an awful mom.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:58 am 
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keenie, sounds reasonable to me- i wish i cold convince my husband of it.

we aim for 8, start the bedtime routine (including dressing/possible bathing) at 7:30 and he is down anywhere from 8 to 9. He has never been one to go to bed gently- its always been a valiant struggle, it just seem to take more or less time before he surrenders based on how exhausted he is.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:44 am 
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keen_on_quinoa wrote:
I wanted to add that besides the late dinners, I also have no patience for the futility of trying to get the kids to sleep when they are not sleepy. I can't stand lying there with two kids giggling and wiggling and climbing all over me. If they don't settle down with all the lights turned out within 10 minutes or so, I let them back out of the room. God, I'm an awful mom.


Dude, when/how your kids go to bed doesn't say anything about the quality of your parenting. Kids are just people, and we all have our different ways of going to bed. Some people can lay down in bed and just be asleep in ten minutes on a regular basis, those lucky forkers. Some people needs to read first or drink a cup of chamomile tea or roll around aimlessly for an hour or get back up to check their email one more time or whatever... I don't see why we should expect kids to be different.

Also, if I still had to get into bed with the Emperor to get him to fall asleep, there is no way in hell he'd be going to bed at 8:30.

I think in most people's cases, their kids' bedtime routines change over time anyway... we've been settled in this one for almost six months (!) and it's the longest he's kept to the same nighttime habits so far. He used to stay up until 11 or 12 until he was maybe six months old. Then he started wanting to sleep earlier, like 8 or 9, so I would let him fall asleep on the couch next to me so I could stay up later. Then for a while I nursed him to bed and could sneak away for an hour or so, but had to come back after that... I think he went to bed around 9, 9:30 at that point. Later he went through a phase where I could just sort of snuggle him to sleep, but he had to be asleep for a solid 30 minutes before I could sneak away for the hour. Then for a while he fell asleep in the Ergo every night. None of these bedtime routines looked like those of anyone I knew at the time-- but they were fine because they worked for him and they worked for me.

And that's what's important... finding something that works for your kids and your family as a whole.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:36 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
keen_on_quinoa wrote:
I wanted to add that besides the late dinners, I also have no patience for the futility of trying to get the kids to sleep when they are not sleepy. I can't stand lying there with two kids giggling and wiggling and climbing all over me. If they don't settle down with all the lights turned out within 10 minutes or so, I let them back out of the room. God, I'm an awful mom.


Dude, when/how your kids go to bed doesn't say anything about the quality of your parenting. Kids are just people, and we all have our different ways of going to bed. Some people can lay down in bed and just be asleep in ten minutes on a regular basis, those lucky forkers. Some people needs to read first or drink a cup of chamomile tea or roll around aimlessly for an hour or get back up to check their email one more time or whatever... I don't see why we should expect kids to be different.

Also, if I still had to get into bed with the Emperor to get him to fall asleep, there is no way in hell he'd be going to bed at 8:30.

I think in most people's cases, their kids' bedtime routines change over time anyway... we've been settled in this one for almost six months (!) and it's the longest he's kept to the same nighttime habits so far. He used to stay up until 11 or 12 until he was maybe six months old. Then he started wanting to sleep earlier, like 8 or 9, so I would let him fall asleep on the couch next to me so I could stay up later. Then for a while I nursed him to bed and could sneak away for an hour or so, but had to come back after that... I think he went to bed around 9, 9:30 at that point. Later he went through a phase where I could just sort of snuggle him to sleep, but he had to be asleep for a solid 30 minutes before I could sneak away for the hour. Then for a while he fell asleep in the Ergo every night. None of these bedtime routines looked like those of anyone I knew at the time-- but they were fine because they worked for him and they worked for me.

And that's what's important... finding something that works for your kids and your family as a whole.



+1 I just wanted to get a feel of what others are doing. I do know in Blasto's case that some of the rambunctious behavior comes from being overtired. Lately we've been doing this up and down crepe that is really setting me off, so I'm thinking we need to start a little earlier to give leeway for the up and down time.

He'll go down well, then as soon as I'm down the stairs, he comes down and reports he needs to poop. Let me preface this with I ask him if he needs to go one last time and he tells me no, or he'll go without any problems. He'll poop, go back upstairs without me tucking him in. Then he'll come down a few minutes later and do it again. When he comes down the second time, I usually express that I'm upset with him-(not for pooping) but for not going to bed. He'll want to sleep in our bed at that point. Anyone gone through this "Bedtime for Frances" thing every evening? What do you do?

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:41 am 
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my children beg to go to bed at 7pm. they are almost 6 and almost 3. they eat dinner around 5, bathe separately, we pick up the house-really clear a path from the kitchen to hallway, read stories, lights out. The little one wants her nightlight on which doesn't work when it's light outside so we hung a thick blanket in the window. I stay at home and spend most of my day getting them worn out.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:40 pm 
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jewbacca wrote:

He'll go down well, then as soon as I'm down the stairs, he comes down and reports he needs to poop. Let me preface this with I ask him if he needs to go one last time and he tells me no, or he'll go without any problems. He'll poop, go back upstairs without me tucking him in. Then he'll come down a few minutes later and do it again. When he comes down the second time, I usually express that I'm upset with him-(not for pooping) but for not going to bed. He'll want to sleep in our bed at that point. Anyone gone through this "Bedtime for Frances" thing every evening? What do you do?

I've talked about this with a lot of parents before-the constant getting up for anything and everything, and what did they do?
One mom said she told her son there were alligators that came out to crawl around the floor at night as soon as the lights were off.
I think that was probably a bit extreme.


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:20 am 
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keen_on_quinoa wrote:
I wanted to add that besides the late dinners, I also have no patience for the futility of trying to get the kids to sleep when they are not sleepy. I can't stand lying there with two kids giggling and wiggling and climbing all over me. If they don't settle down with all the lights turned out within 10 minutes or so, I let them back out of the room. God, I'm an awful mom.


NO WAY are you an awful mom! you just do what works for you guys which to my mind makes you a smart mom!


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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:24 am 
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Okay, I started bath time at 7:40 last night, had Fini down by 8:30 and had Blasto in bed by 8:40. I asked him x3 if he needed to make one last trip to the bathroom before going down and he didn't. I don't want to punish him for using the restroom after he lies down, but I also believe it's a game. I'm frustrated. He did his up and down thing for about 40 minutes and finally went to bed. The last thing was him pounding on the door, kicking and screaming that he wanted out. This puzzled me, because I don't lock the doors! I had to go in and use my big voice to tell him to go to bed. Geez. I even offered him a reward if he stayed in his bedroom without getting up/down all night.

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 Post subject: Re: What time do your children go to sleep?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:03 pm 
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Malcolm pretty well isn't allowed to get into his bed before he sits on the toilet just to make sure he doesn't have to pee. If I ask him, 99 times out of 100 he'll tell me he doesn't have to go, when really he does.


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