| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Thu Jul 24, 2014 6:38 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 28 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: ahhhh help me out ppk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:05 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 18736
Location: Cliffbar NJ
littlebear wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
LisaPunk wrote:
I could sit here for the next 5-7ish years until I physically cant have kids (or I guess shouldn’t is the better word)


I know you're stressed and didn't mean this to be offensive, but I just want to say that being 39 to 42 (you state in your OP that you're 34) is not a reason that you shouldn't have children.


I dodn't want to put words in Lisa's mouth, but I always said I didn't want to have children past 35. That doesn't mean other people shouldn't, it was just the max age I feel comfortable having kids (this has less to do with being a certain age and concerns about fertility and more to do with the fact that I want my kids to be through college/hopefully out of the house by a certain age). I just wanted to out down my perspective because I wouldn't want to offend anyone if I were to say anything like that, but for me, I shouldn't have babies after 35.


For me there is a difference in the words "I don't want" and "shouldn't have." I feel like there are a lot of judgments that society puts on the decision to have children, including who *should* have them and who *shouldn't* and at the end of the day, its important to respect everyone's choice. There is a lot of casual ageism around the decision to have children past 35, and I've heard it, even from friends of mine (and of course its always interesting that the mother's age is the issue not so much the father's age (unless we're talking Tony Randall).

There are many things that I don't want - I don't want to have 5 kids, I didn't want to have children in my 20s, I didn't want to have a child without being financially stable but I wouldn't phrase them as *shouldn'ts.*

And with certain things, I would worry about offending others, even with an "I don't want..." statement. For example, I wouldn't say, even hypothetically, that I wouldn't want to have a child without being married to the father, because I feel like that might offend several people here, because it is in some ways placing a judgment on their relationships, even if you're not directly judging them, if that makes sense.

Anyway, not trying to hijack the thread.

_________________
But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: ahhhh help me out ppk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:18 pm 
Offline
Dislikes Rick Santorum
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 am
Posts: 5064
Location: United States of New England
i certainly didnt mean it that way that women shouldnt have kids in their 40s. and i definitely apologize if you took it that way.
one of the things i believe most in life is not to judge other people because ive never been in their situation.

i meant i didnt think it was the right choice for me personally to wait that long and when i was typing "physically cant" i realized that technically i physically still could. i just think for me personally it's not the right decision.

again huge apologies if i inadvertantly offended anyone, it's 100% not my business what people do in their life or when they choose to have kids. was only speaking for myself

_________________
Lisa's CSA Blog 2014


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: ahhhh help me out ppk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:16 pm 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:44 pm
Posts: 2144
It seems like the ppk is one of the few places where people acknowledge the feelings of strangers. It's nice.

Carlos' routine is basically putting on a giant diaper then swaddling him, sometime after 8:30. I think we need to work in a bath to that routine eventually.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 28 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer