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 Post subject: Frustrating
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:02 am 
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Inflexitarian
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Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:10 pm
Posts: 751
Location: Virginia, USA
So..I love DH. Dearly. And we for the most part work things out if we disagree because a lot of the essential things we are in total agreement on (like never hitting, babies shouldn't be around screens, letting her choose her own religion)


Well. We're coming at odds over the geekling's diet now. I tried to make a compromise and say she could be veggie (since her formula has milk it'd be a bit hard to consider her vegan anyways). He's omnivore and his family is. I pointed out both the logical and ethical reasons:
*Both sides of my family have heart problems and high blood pressure in their 30's. EARLY 30's. As well as diabetes. So a healthy diet rich in veggies and fruits would help prevent any of these. (I right now have the lower end of normal in blood pressure, no diabetes, and no heart issues)
*I consider it to be unethical completely to give her dead animals. (I already have major guilt about the formula, which ramped up a hundred fold after some supposed "friend" tried to make it like I wasn't really vegan because my whole family wasn't)
*This would address all of his concern (that I find silly) in that she won't be able to eat at fast food places, birthday parties, or w/e being as most of those places HAVE vegetarian options

His issue is supposedly it will not let her eat the same food as his family. I tolerate a lot of stuff that annoys me and goes against my values from his family. They ALREADY give vegan food to me. His parents ALREADY have high blood pressure and are overweight from eating a very red meat heavy diet. The idea of them giving that to my baby makes me feel physically ill for both ethical and health reasons. (They also frequently talk about taking her "fishing/crabbing" and it disgusts me)

I'm trying HARD to make what is becoming a bigger and bigger issue between us to work but I just don't get how to make him understand. Help? I really just want what's best for my kid. (He refuses to watch Forks Over Knives, I've tried several times)

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 Post subject: Re: Frustrating
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:57 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2011 6:59 am
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Location: Oxford, UK
Well, first of all, the formula thing is neither here nor there. Being vegan isn't about perfection, but doing the best you can under the circumstances. Giving geekling dairy formula is what's the best for her right now, so yeah...that's perfectly "vegan".

I'm sorry though, that husband is giving you grief after agreeing to raise her a certain way. What does he say wrt the health argument? If SAD type diseases are on both sides of her family, then surely he must see that she'd need to be careful too. Would he agree to raise her veggie until she's a certain age (where she can make her own decision)?


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