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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 10:44 am 
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It is testing season in our school district. Shorty hasn't slept all week from stress.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 8:49 pm 
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Poor kid! So stressful.

Shae just finished the state tests (FCATS) and this upcoming week he is starting on EOC's. He doesn't actually seem to mind much, which is a bit worrisome.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 9:15 pm 
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Can one of you awesome parents come over and limit my screen time? I would really prefer to be reading or playing music, but I'm addicted to my dumb phone.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:37 pm 
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I, um... I don't know how to limit screen time.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 10:25 am 
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I will ijdi, if you take out the trash and rake the back yard as part of your punishment.

I got a call from the doctor's office this morning that the gastro will be out of town on Thursday, when crohn's son has an appointment - what we have been thinking of as "get out the tube day" - and they are changing his appointment to May 22. I immediately tried to call the clinic and the nurses there must be out today because the voicemail is turned off until tomorrow. There is a somewhat complicated series of people you go through at the hospital and the nurses in the GI clinic may be able to help where the doctor's office can't.

I am feeling a bit of panic since I know he is not going to keep the tube for two more weeks, nor should he have to simply because of a scheduling problem, and there is no way I am going to tell him about this until I get it straightened out, but apparently I can't even start to get it straightened out until tomorrow. I would tell him just to pull the tube now but we were supposed to meet with the dietitian as well on Thursday to find out how to transition to regular food again.

And his Chief Scout Award ceremony and banquet are this Saturday, for which he wanted to be tube-free and able to eat at least something.

And we already delayed his school photos until May 14 (photog is returning for retakes), thinking he would be tube-free by then.

And he (and I) is so goddam sick of the tube. Argh.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 10:34 am 
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no kidding, get the tube out can be done by anyone! what is the critical thing, dietitian consult? if it were me, i would call the clinic (and/or anyone else you deal with @ hospital) and ask if maybe a PA or a LPN at the clinic could actually pull the tube. i agree with you that the clinic nurses are much more effective than nearly anyone else. they will understand that the tube might "accidentally fall out" and better to minimalize damage.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 10:57 am 
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How frustrating, Arisaig. It is incredibly unprofessional of them to have scheduled you and then make you wait TWO weeks longer.
Sending you and the kiddo some happy, fix it thoughts!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 11:14 am 
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Two extra weeks would be a huge quality of life issue. Hope they fix their error.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 11:34 am 
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Oh, he has taken the tube out himself (and replaced it) twice already. The critical thing is the dietitian consult and I think I can get him in for that regardless of the doc's schedule (they schedule you into the clinic, not just for a doc appt.), but I can't get to talk to the GI clinic nurses until tomorrow.

I will get it sorted, I just don't want to damage or undo 11 very difficult weeks by not transitioning properly, and I am frustrated at not being able to get an answer RIGHT NOW! Bah.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 12:47 pm 
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i am mentally sending you a bottle of my dandelion ale (powered by unicorn sparkles). it is low alcohol but the dandelions are quite potent, sending fluffy bubbles of huffenpuff throughout your body right now, removing all stress. feel it working as we speak. (IF ONLY IT WERE SO EASY) hang in there kid, and your kid too.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 2:19 pm 
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Thanks torque, it sounds delicious. I heard back from a clerk at the hospital and the dietitian is supposed to call, so I am not going to say anything to the boy until I know for sure what is going to happen, probably tomorrow at this point.

In other teen news: his summer soccer team had its first practice yesterday, 14-15 year-olds, and most of them are so big! At this age they start to get broader, not just taller. The poor coach (nicknamed "shorty") is the smallest on the field. I gave two a ride home and they filled up the backseat of my little car.

Not all get broader of course - my 21-y.o. is 5'8" and 125 lbs.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 10:15 am 
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As some of you have seen from my facebook photos, the boy is now tube free (during the day at least)! He is able to eat anything, which surprised me, but the dietitian said the formula he was on was the same components as regular food, just pre-digested.

First food - banana. Verdict - the texture is weird, only ate half.

Second food - hotdog (I know, I know). Verdict - delicious.

He went off to school today with an MRE I thought he was taking as a joke but apparently he is going to eat it for lunch. I find it hard to imagine anyone eating one voluntarily. Maybe it will be delicious to him? (MRE = meal, ready to eat)

I let him have a night off from the tube but from tonight on he will get 90mL/hour for 9 hours. In two months the doc will reevaluate the night time feeds. He can't take the full dose of the medication he is on because he is sensitive to it but the doctor thinks the half dose will help, at least while he is on the formula feeds.

I am not happy with the way the hospital dealt with the situation, not calling me back ever. I ended up yesterday morning calling all of the voicemail numbers - dietitian, doctor, GI nurse's clinic - I had and telling them he was taking the tube out and the least I needed from them was instructions on how to transition back to a regular diet. If I had known he could just eat a regular diet I would not have bothered even going in (in the end they told us to come in to the clinic). I was upset when I finally talked to someone, and I am still upset that no one is keeping track of the kids on feeding tubes. When son's appointment was changed, no one was (seemingly) aware that it was a crucial appointment that could not just be put off for 2 weeks.

I am going to put all of that behind me now but more aware that no one is really overseeing the coordination of his care.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 2:04 pm 
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Great news! But the business with the hospital people sounds infuriating.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 5:34 pm 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:
Can one of you awesome parents come over and limit my screen time? I would really prefer to be reading or playing music, but I'm addicted to my dumb phone.


I had a moment of shame today when I realized that after I finally got all the kids to put their stupid phones away and read about Pluto for 5 minutes I was ppking and checking mail on my ipad.

Oops. At least they thought I was setting up an app to project on the screen to illustrate Kepler's Laws.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2014 7:54 pm 
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I just realized that sometimes what keeps me going is the hope that one day chompy will have kids who pester him mercilessly with "I'm bored!"

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat May 10, 2014 7:21 am 
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one can only hope.

my kid is having a "party" here this afternoon while i go out and drink beer with old people in the park (and Mr T drives my drunken asparagus home). Mr T is concerned about hanky-panky silliness. I told him if he knew about the hankypanky silliness that goes on in school he'd be less concerned. (at least my homebrew will be safe- nobody under 40 years of age can handle the bitterness).

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 9:30 am 
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That is great news, Ariasag!


Today I take the oldest to the specialist to see if he needs knee surgery. That will not be fun.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2014 7:21 pm 
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Well, no kid 1 surgery (yet, but the MRI was today or tomorrow)

Let's see, kid one finally has a stable job.
Kid two is spending her birthday on stage in a production of A Comedy of Errors. She is the only one who knows her lines.
And Shorty is hiding from all the chaos and reveling in being the good kid for a change.

I wish I had better nicknames for the older two.

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2014 8:40 pm 
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Yay! Love happy updates!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 9:38 am 
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Those are good updates, kfad. I hope kid 2 is not too frustrated with the other actors - that would drive me bonkers.

I came in to bisque not about my kid but about some other parents who asked me into their car pool for soccer practice this spring even though there are 5 kids and most of us only have room for 4 in our cars. They all live on one side of the lake while my family lives in the non-snooty area on the other side of the lake. It's not like the houses there are fancy or necessarily expensive but some of them act like it's an enclave. Ugh. There is one nice mother, who is the one who asked me to join, two snooty ones and two I don't know. Our kids all go to the same school.

I wrote the email I wanted to write and then deleted it, a useful burn-off activity I am sure some of you are familiar with.

Then I wrote another polite email withdrawing from the car pool and offering to drive their kids whenever they need a lift. I can't burn any bridges because it is likely I will need to ask them to give my son a ride once in a while throughout the summer and the nice mum really is nice and probably just as frustrated with the entitled ones as I am.

I don't understand their mindset - if your kid is involved in an activity it is your job to get them there (or ask nicely for help) no matter how inconvenient. If someone else helps out with a lift or arranging a car pool then you should be appreciative and not feel entitled to it. Bleh.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 9:21 am 
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I swear, sometimes other parents are the worse thing about parenting. There are a number of very snotty, very entitled moms with kids in Shorty's grade. I had to stop volunteering at the school because of them. It was just too stressful to deal with.

Kid2 got an internship at a nature thing this summer! She really wants to focus on ecology and the like so this is a big deal!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 10:33 am 
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Wow cool! I hope she enjoys it.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 10:56 am 
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My youngest son (tube boy) is just finishing grade 9, which is "junior high" here, and next year will go to high school.

There is a year-end dance for the gr. 9s which I knew about and had talked to him about what he would wear but I feel quite clueless that I didn't realize it is a dance where the kids go (or can go) in pairs, as dates. At the soccer game last night two of the mothers were talking about the dance and discussing if the boys had dates yet. Oh my god! So I asked him about it on the ride home and he was tight lipped. According to one of the moms the girls are deciding amongst themselves who will go with who, which sounds quite sensible, but junior high can be crappy and who knows who is included or excluded. Ugh, I hate this. Why can't they just have a dance and have everyone come as individuals?


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:29 am 
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Arisaig wrote:
My youngest son (tube boy) is just finishing grade 9, which is "junior high" here, and next year will go to high school.

There is a year-end dance for the gr. 9s which I knew about and had talked to him about what he would wear but I feel quite clueless that I didn't realize it is a dance where the kids go (or can go) in pairs, as dates. At the soccer game last night two of the mothers were talking about the dance and discussing if the boys had dates yet. Oh my god! So I asked him about it on the ride home and he was tight lipped. According to one of the moms the girls are deciding amongst themselves who will go with who, which sounds quite sensible, but junior high can be crappy and who knows who is included or excluded. Ugh, I hate this. Why can't they just have a dance and have everyone come as individuals?


I was talking to Shorty about this. They have what they call socials and activity nights at her middle school. They are allowed to go with dates but it is actually discouraged. And I remember even the majority of high school dances being date optional. Why are we asking our kids to grow up so fast?



( By we I mean society.)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:25 pm 
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That's what I thought it would be! Sheesh, that's a lot of unnecessary pressure for a 14-y.o. I wish the school would actively encourage no dates. I think it's because it's a "special" dance. The school system and I differ on many ideas about child education, behaviour, and treatment, I'm afraid.


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