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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 6:07 pm 
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kfad wrote:
ARGH! I agreed to go to this stupid open house at the high school, thinking I could just do a meet and greet. Nope. Two hours of structured b.s.
UGH. I don't want to spend two hours with other parents. And then the kid tried to back out.


I feel for you!!! Those structured open houses are just torture! Why do they even do this? To punish us? Honestly, I skipped both of his high school open houses because I couldn't stand the thought of it. (and I never skip anything school related!)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 8:16 pm 
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Lice. That is all.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 10:11 pm 
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Oh my.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 5:03 pm 
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torque wrote:
I had such high hopes for her having a bright future, but she is so lazy that I frankly am worried about what is going to become of her.

Awh, hugs, torque. Remember that many of us have grown into bright, capable people, even if we were lazy jerk sods of teenagers. I baaaaarely graduated high school.

I think pushing her with higher expectations is totally fine (or, good even), just don't beat yourself up or worry too much if she isn't meeting them!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 6:18 pm 
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thanks Mars, I know that grades are not the end of the story, and i know that on the whole she is a good, capable, fair, and strong person, which is much more than most people get and more than I deserve. I just hate to see her losing opportunities. (i'llshutupnow)

Kfad WTFWTFWTF!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 7:52 pm 
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If high school grades mattered for shiitake in the end, half the students at my school would be so screwed.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 7:52 pm 
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Torque - I know more than a few kids who picked right after college graduation to be super lazy. Not the best plan... She has time to grow up and figure herself out. It's hard to allow kids the space they need to make their own mistakes. I am constantly wanting to save my son from himself but I back off sometimes and let him fail.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 8:01 pm 
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Torque, I was sooo lazy until my junior year of college when I decided I wanted to be a vet. I don't even know what happened. I just got my butt in gear hard core and never missed a homework assignment again. It was a complete turn around for me.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 8:06 am 
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you guys are making me hopeful!!!! thank you, i really needed it.
and Vantine, <<It's hard to allow kids the space they need to make their own mistakes. I am constantly wanting to save my son from himself but I back off sometimes and let him fail.>>
truer words were never spoken.

(poor squid is sick as a dog right now, ate something nasty at a party yesterday)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 9:55 am 
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In what I think is good news, Alex is bringing her boyfriend (which is still weird to me because she still identifies as a lesbian, which is a totally different thread) for dinner tomorrow. We are going to feed him fancy vegan food and play board games. They are both acting like this is a big dramatic meeting of the parents. But we have known this kid for two years. They were friends for at least a year and a half before they started dating.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 11:14 am 
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sounds like a good evening!!!
I am finding that since we are providing a "friendly" environment, there is no big dramaz, but it seems like society and life passage type stuff expects/requires big dramaz. Baggo made some kind of "coming out" noises and I was like, uh, you realize that I am doing parent awareness and outreach and this is not, well, news? But she hears so many "coming out stories" that I think she feels like she might be missing something. The Big Dramatic Meeting of the Capulets and the Montagues is part of our cultural fabric. (seems a shame not to indulge it, eh? hehe)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 12:32 pm 
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I think that is part of it. We are raising the kids with the attitude that if you aren't hurting someone else, go on with your bad self. And because of that they are finding it hard to rebel. They see their friends rebelling and they want in!

One of them is bound to be Alex P. Keaton.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 8:27 pm 
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And then some of us who worked like crazy during high school are 30 and working two jobs part time for minimum wage. There's lots of time to worry ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 10:20 pm 
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So, so, so much emotion. Everything is the best or the worst thing in the entire history of recorded civilization. I think you should be able to skip from 9 to 20

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:47 am 
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any suggestions on how to get the kid out the door on time without tears? I have tried everything i can think of (ready 30m before, making her walk, taking everything away).
I am considering making her sit and wait for 15 min after she busts her asparagus to get ready, think that is too harsh?
(this is every day, i work and then stop for lunch and drive her to school. today she watched Skins all morning and spent an hour on her makeup before saying "i don't know what time we leave"). We are in the third quarter, every day starts at the same time.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 12:07 pm 
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Torque, my husband was kicked out of his house, dropped out of high school, didn't finish community college, and is now totally successful in his work and life. I think his mom is still shocked -- I don't think he was ever easy on her! But he turned into a really great adult. It can happen!


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:34 pm 
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I just always made the kids walk if they were late (back when I was driving them). And no late slips from mom. But the girls were never really the problem. It was Doug that didn't care. Now that he has a job he is 10 minutes early to every thing. The turn around is interesting.

But really, I got nothing. Nothing but sympathy.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:53 pm 
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so what you all seem to be telling me is the best option is to just run away, and maybe if i come back in seven to ten years, she may indeed be fabulous? where do i sign up!!!!!!

making her "walk" involves her taking two buses and having a 15 minute drive be a 2-hour grand voyage.

And, here's our update. Tummy troubles seem to have moved south, and instead of barfing there have been urgent diarrhea events. but she felt better, so she went to school. i just got a text (because she's texting in class, WTFFFFF!?) saying "OMG I am having a pants emergency". Of course I am running around trying to get things done to be back in my office by 4. I drop everything and race home to get clothes, then get a message saying, nah, actually, it will just make everything worse if you come. I sincerely hope this was a false alarm type situation, because she has a point, short of pulling a fire alarm (which they probably don't even have, considering what a snakehole this school is), there is no easy way out of this. Poor kid.

The light shining through is that her uniform is black pants and a white t-shirt, so, well, it could be worse.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 2:55 pm 
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kfad wrote:
One of them is bound to be Alex P. Keaton.


Yeah, what rebellion is there left if parents of the PPK are like "OMG she dyed her hair teal and it looks *awesome!*".

I mean, for real, PPK y'all are awesome and it makes me happy because one doesn't expect the parents to be happy about that. But then that leaves the opposite for rebellion!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 3:31 pm 
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but TEAL HAIR! haha. Was the teal hair in question the one needing the lice treatment? did it generate the same level of angst that anything involving hair does here ("but mom the dye will come out!!!!! i can't possibly get wet!!" )?? I'm dying to know. Especially, I am dying to know if you could survive combing out those curls, which makes me tired just thinking about it.

Update- the event was a false alarm, and she survived. thank goodness.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 6:05 pm 
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torque wrote:
but TEAL HAIR! haha. Was the teal hair in question the one needing the lice treatment? did it generate the same level of angst that anything involving hair does here ("but mom the dye will come out!!!!! i can't possibly get wet!!" )?? I'm dying to know. Especially, I am dying to know if you could survive combing out those curls, which makes me tired just thinking about it.

Update- the event was a false alarm, and she survived. thank goodness.


So the lice....

Alex (the 17 year old) is working an internship as a teacher for forest ecology walks. And she got lice from the little ones she was teaching. And then because they share EVERYTHING, Shorty got lice two days after she died her hair. Combing out nits from those curls took two hours. And it did strip the dye out. Thank goodness it was just manic panic and we will redo it as soon as the lice scare is over.

I have been a parent for 20 years, worked in day cares and schools and this is the first time I have ever had to deal with lice. So I count myself lucky.

Thank goodness for Baggy's false alarm.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:05 am 
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omfg. the combing. i just told Baggy and she started hyperventilating. Oh the humanity.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:38 pm 
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Somehow chompy forgets every day that we expect him to brush his (very long) hair every day. How can you possibly act like this request is coming from nowhere? "Brush my hair, you say? Explain to me this... brushing of hair."

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:17 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
Somehow chompy forgets every day that we expect him to brush his (very long) hair every day. How can you possibly act like this request is coming from nowhere? "Brush my hair, you say? Explain to me this... brushing of hair."


The inability to groom is why the boy does not get to have long hair any more. I just don't have time to put yelling at him about one more thing on the list.

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You people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:45 pm 
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We have an opposite situation with Silas (I know, not a teen, wrong thread). As soon as his hair starts to grow and gets messy easily, he'll say "I need a haircut so you stop talking about my hair being messy.". Shae's past the no grooming stage and deep in the fixing his hair for longer than I shower stage.

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