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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 11:25 am 
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I don't know if or how it's different for the boys. I've heard other stories about kids and Instagram these days and how every single student is often friends with the entire school. Even when you don't get along you follow that person and see their life. It sounds exhausting, but I can see that having good as well as bad effects.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 4:18 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
chompy will gladly play female characters in the computer game (DOTA 2) he's been off-and-on obsessed with for a year or more now. Some of his favorite characters are female. It's like everyone—his parents, his peer group—forgot to teach him that he is not to have anything to do with "girl stuff." He should feel threatened by it, should vigorously resist identifying with any aspect of it. Now, sure, yes, the characters we're talking about are not stereotypical "female" characters, damsels in distress and what-not. Still, they are clearly meant to be human women (and maybe other species "women"). And he doesn't seem to hesitate: "Crystal Maiden is really cool." "I played as Legion Commander. Her special abilities are awesome!"

And there are tons of Magic cards he prizes even though they depict woman and other females.


This kind of stuff still happens all the time. Am I a weirdo for being impressed by this? Last night, he was trying to find Magic cards that he thought were "like him" (how, I don't understand). And several of them depicted female characters. He's a boy who doesn't seem to feel this intense pressure to do only "boy" things and to resist any and all identification with "girl" things.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:17 pm 
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I asked Shorty for her Christmas list.
She informed me there is already a pinterest board for it.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:40 pm 
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kfad wrote:
I asked Shorty for her Christmas list.
She informed me there is already a pinterest board for it.


Hahahaha!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 9:28 pm 
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Okay, so strictly speaking Doug is no longer a teen. But... this week I feel like he is back to behaving like a 15 year old. Picking fights for no reason, leaving a mess where ever he goes and just generally being an asparagus. He is about to get a very unpleasant for him lesson.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:02 am 
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S's friend killed himself yesterday. A really rad kid, in college, in a popular local band, just organized a music festival, everyone just loves him. So sad and so hard to watch all of his friends suffering.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:46 am 
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I am so very sorry Kelly. That is heartbreaking. I hope S and his friends are all able to get support as they grieve.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:56 am 
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oh man Kelly, that is so sad. how terrible.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 11:29 am 
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Thanks guys. I was the same age when a friend of mine committed suicide (and then 4 others died within a few months). I feel their pain so hard.

They're coming together and organizing a benefit to raise some money for his family. So at least they have something to do while they work through it.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 6:29 pm 
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Kelly, I am so sorry.
When Doug was 15 a friend of his committed suicide. It was so hard to watch their pain.
Doug is still active in the suicide prevention awareness community here.

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 8:44 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
Thanks guys. I was the same age when a friend of mine committed suicide (and then 4 others died within a few months). I feel their pain so hard.

They're coming together and organizing a benefit to raise some money for his family. So at least they have something to do while they work through it.


My best friend in 9th grade killed herself. It is a tough age for sure <3

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:10 pm 
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The last three days before she goes on any sort of break are pure hell... for me.
We baked until 10 last night. She asked me to get her up early and then refused to get out of bed until 15 minutes past her usual time. The fit was epic.
Can't wait until Friday afternoon to have my lovely child back. (scratch that... she is 15, I have years to wait.)

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:14 pm 
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ha, no kidding.
Bag's last day was supposed to Tuesday. Then she was going yesterday, then she wasn't, then she was, then not. She ended up sleeping to the crack of noon. First day of summer, apparently, and I'm already pissy. Best quote today, "but you do so much all the time. I thought you were just here working". Yes, kid, indeed. How do you think all this shiitake gets done in the house, magic?

She also said something that left me gobsmacked and maybe with a little tiny tear in my eye.....
Kid is active in trans, queer and diversity rights. She mentioned off the cuff today that she had shared some baby pictures with some friends from one of her action groups and they assumed that she was born anatomically male because of her appearance in her pictures. Her response, "no, I'm a girl, but my mother did not allow me to experience the patriarchy as a child."
Okay, if anyone is keeping track, I did ONE thing right. The rest, maybe not, but at least one.

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James Joyce doesn’t give a twopenny damn, but Marie Kondo does. Oh, bother. --J O'Donogue, JT


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:26 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:08 am 
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torque wrote:
Her response, "no, I'm a girl, but my mother did not allow me to experience the patriarchy as a child."
Okay, if anyone is keeping track, I did ONE thing right. The rest, maybe not, but at least one.


I love this, torque.

My teen seems to be adjusting okay to the half time with his dad. He had hardly spent any time with him for more than three years but since September has been doing the week on / week off thing divorced kids sometimes do, because his dad got the family home back. People keep asking me how it's going and I don't really know. I don't want to ask too many questions - mainly I've just asked him if he thinks it's going okay and if he's happy and he says yes. Of course, his dad is not parenting him when he's at his house. I still take him to soccer, make sure he has what he needs, look after his medication, call the school, etc.

The other complicating factor is that he has become unable to cope with his latest medication so for the last couple of months his health has suffered (he has crohn's disease). He will be starting remicade as soon as possible so that will (hopefully) be wonderful.

But he has had a girlfriend for a few months and she seems great, he's keeping up with the beatboxing and Venturers, although he hasn't been playing soccer for a few weeks because of his health.

And I - you know sometimes I think I do this deliberately - I met a man in the spring who I have been off and on with since, but only going off him because his life is chaos. He has three teenage sons who live with him full time, and there's way more to the story, ayayay. My life was so unbearably stressful through the summer and into September, I saw him a few times then, our third try, and said no more, but in November we got back together and I'm not giving up this time.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 2:44 pm 
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Arisaig! Look at you! Glad to hear you are feeling hopeful (I think it sounds hopeful, if stressful).
As for your son, sigh. I suppose it is better than nothing, but I hear you on not wanting to ask. Good on you for just trying to roll with it and focus on his happiness and well-being. I hope the health issues work out.

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James Joyce doesn’t give a twopenny damn, but Marie Kondo does. Oh, bother. --J O'Donogue, JT


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:34 pm 
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It's 5:30 on New Years Eve. Shorty just sat down next to me and said "when I go out tonight, what time will you pick me up?"
LOLOLOLOL

The standing rule in our house has been 24 hours notice for most plans. Especially something so big like this. This is a rule in place since her brother was 14 (so 8 years). She is acting like I just changed all the rules.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:57 am 
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Alex just got a tattoo that matches mine! (She is 18). It makes me happy because we have such different tattoo styles. And the one she got was one that has a lot of meaning to me.

Then Shorty said when she turns 18 she wants the same one.
Tattoos made me cry mom tears.

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:18 pm 
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i saw your tattoo pic!! That is so awesome! Look at you being all awesome at mommyship. (so what happened on NYE? We survived ours, I was amazed.)

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Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
James Joyce doesn’t give a twopenny damn, but Marie Kondo does. Oh, bother. --J O'Donogue, JT


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:21 pm 
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We survived. She backed right off and I was able to go in later and remind her calmly why it was a flat no.
Then we spent yesterday going through old pics and telling stories. It's been good.

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:52 am 
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I woke up to this at the coffee pot

Image

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 10:04 am 
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ha! when they're great, they're awesome.

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James Joyce doesn’t give a twopenny damn, but Marie Kondo does. Oh, bother. --J O'Donogue, JT


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:55 am 
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I was going to type up this big long rant, but I don't have the strength.
Let's just go with...
There is a catch all desk in the living room right that Shorty has been piling her coats on. The cats have also found this as a lovely place to sit. So when the cat starts hacking up a hairball, Shorty yells something to the effect of "Well, he will puke on my stuff". But leaves her stuff to sit under the puking cat.

This is really the tip of the chaos iceberg at my house right now. And I just need someone to understand.

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:14 pm 
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I also do this. I leave an important piece of paper on the counter, then complain that the cockatiel ate it. It drives my mom bonkers, so she can relate for sure.

Actually, my w-2 is probably there now.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:28 pm 
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Hahaha, my husband does that too. Dumps his clothes everywhere but in the laundry basket or his dresser, but then gets mad when the cat thinks it looks cozy.

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