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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 1:35 pm 
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oh Torque, what a tough tough thing. I had a close friend commit suicide when I was 14 and it was definitely difficult to deal with on my own as my parents were more annoyed/mad (!?!) about it than anything. You are a super mom and I send you both kind thoughts!


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 3:14 pm 
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thanks for your kind thoughts guys, she seems to be doing well and Baggo is OK. some professional art supply birthday gifts finally arrived today and she is making something nice for friend's return.

can i just say, also, by the way, i really am glad that our local school and law enforcement authorities are so concerned with school safety, but this is the third lockdown shelter-in-place drill this year, and the first one where they were told it was a real shooter and the police were there. I understand the need for realism but kids are capable of pretending, really, and now all the little 7th graders are going to need counseling.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:41 pm 
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They were told it was a real shooter? That is so inappropriate! How is that happening?


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:46 am 
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torque wrote:
In the meantime, I just gave the kid her favoritest birthday present ever: a mini super bright LED flashlight. She is sure she is Dr Who and is going around sonic-screwdrivering things. Makes me just want to hug her right up close to me and thank god for every minute.

Buhhhhhhhhhhh so cuuuuuuuuuute. Awh man hugs to you and her both.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 1:51 pm 
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Ugh. Just ugh. So I am watching my 19 year old struggle with some stuff. I help when appropriate. But let him take the lead and make his own decisions. And right now he is not making great ones. They aren't horrid. They are just going to stall him out for awhile.

Which is all bad enough. What is really irritating me is that I have people who don't know all the details telling me I need to kick him out of the house. Why would I pile more crepe on him? Also, at no point am I actually asking these people for advice. They are hearing from him and his sisters about his life. So needless to say... this is family.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:50 pm 
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kfad, family. le sigh. namaste-- the frustrated person in me salutes the frustrated person in you.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:40 am 
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So, any ideas on how to make the kid stop being a pig?
it is so embarrassing. Today I had to go hardcore on her and take away TV, computer, and books (i hate this) until she cleans up her room. and after a week of dirty cotton balls and nail polish all over the floor, she is no longer allowed to do her nails. I hate to be like this (and don't have the time to be on top of her about it).

we are not in our own house, which makes it even more embarrassing. I also have piggish tendencies and it takes a lot of work but I keep things clean because I have to. I don't know what to tell her except "you are too old for us to still be arguing about all your clothes on the floor". my mother keeps coming up to me and saying "why doesn't she clean? why is she so messy?" I want to say "because your sane children were messy when they were 13 too" but she doesn't remember that, and then if i said that then Baggy would hear consent.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:07 pm 
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If you get some answers to that... let me know.
I talked to Shorty this morning about how her room smells. It smells. Shudder.
I think my kids get confused about what is clean and what is clutter. I am a clutter person. I can't see either desk right now for the stack of stuff on both of them. But the house is clean, in that there is not garbage in my spaces, or the common spaces.
And I feel bad asking her to deal with it this week. She has a big competition next Sunday that she is working 20 hours a week on in addition to school.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:19 pm 
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i will offer to help her, even though i really feel that i am an enabler, i think. but i can't see the floor in her room, which is problematic. at least here we don't have brown spiders, at home this level of filth would really be hazardous.
of course, work. le sigh!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:48 pm 
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I'm just going to put this here:

Image

I hope things get better torque! I wonder if part of the reason why Baggy is letting her room get so messy is that that is the one area where she has any control. Apart from her room, it sounds like she has to tread on (NV) eggshells. Though teenagers and messy rooms do seem to go hand in hand...

Could you offer that she can have her friends over, and then make cleaning her room a condition for it? I don't have teenagers, so my advice is really just hopeful, untried and probably useless :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 1:04 pm 
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Yeah I was a super messy, clothes all over the floor teen also, and now I'm one of the cleanest and most anal adults among my friend group. I have no idea how I lived like that back then, or how I changed to someone who loves being clean. Sooooo...

Yeah sorry. :(

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 1:11 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Could you offer that she can have her friends over, and then make cleaning her room a condition for it? I don't have teenagers, so my advice is really just hopeful, untried and probably useless :)

your advice is never useless!
you are surely right though she is indeed a piglet by nature.
friends coming over, ha. can't wait til we are back at home. the friends are not approved by the fam-o. however, her using the computer or phone to talk to them is conditional, for sure.
mars, thanks for the hope. i keep hoping she will grow out of this one day, and it would be nice if she could not leave all her nice new expensive toys all on the floor...... [WHEN EXACTLY DID IT CHANGE, ha]

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:10 pm 
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This current discussion brought back a memory.
When I was kicked out, I left with what would fit in the car that was driving me to my next destination. So pretty much suitcases with clothes and a few books.
When my dad moved out of the house several months later, he kindly packed up my room. Which was literally a layer of "stuff" on the floor and my furniture. It was several boxes of mostly weird teen garbage. Notes from friends, empty make up bottles, stuff like that. Seriously like 10 boxes. And this is not the stuff he left in the drawers for me.
So I know we are capable of growing out of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:15 pm 
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torque wrote:
[WHEN EXACTLY DID IT CHANGE, ha]

Heh, sorry to say, not until a good year or so of living on my own.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 8:09 am 
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well, she cleaned it up and i made a makeup brush case for her while she did it, so it all sort of worked out.
until i was scanning stuff on the computer and found that on my mother's computer, she has saved a bunch of files with bad word names. WHY YOU SO TROUBLESOME CHILD!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:45 am 
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Why are dishes so hard for my kids to figure out? I asked the oldest to do his dinner dishes and he waited until it was Shorty's bedtime (which yeah is 10 but still she needs to have a regular time or she will not sleep at all). Then he was all "I will make too much noise and wake her up". Dude, you are 19, literally an adult. Figure one thing out.

Also, stop peeing through the ice in the backyard. Nobody needs that.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:31 pm 
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i hear that from everyone- "i didn't do it because i didn't want to make noise." your problem, not mine. of course i can't say that to anyone but my own kid.

kid got the letter from the school today- she made the honor roll! (still haven't gotten her report card, go figure)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 7:08 pm 
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kfad wrote:
Also, stop peeing through the ice in the backyard. Nobody needs that.


Laughing. So. Hard.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:26 pm 
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another room cleaning day, already!
Tally:
-3.5 hours
-2 screaming fights
-about 45 min of tears
-1 broken speaker, thrown against wall
-3 BAGS OF TRASH
-1 bag of donations
-2 hours of laundry
-4 bags of things in my room to deal with "when i get a chance." ha.
-the good news, no rodents.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:26 pm 
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Okay this is me just chatting about the youngest.
Tonight she has complained that school is cancelled again tomorrow. And she has said "Well, the world is overpopulated so I won't have babies, but I want to foster like a hundred."

Sometimes she talks and I feel like I do something right.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:36 am 
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awesome!!
i am so glad the kid got a snowday here too. i was up at 5 but went back to bed and we all slept til 1030. [my work is slow for once, so have to take advantage of that....] then omelets together, etc etc. when she's not making me insane she's a great kid.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:54 pm 
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we bought a new laptop to bring back (will be the kid's new computer, but i will use it til we get home) and she is setting it up and fooling around with windows 8 (barf).
she is playing around with an online map thing and looking for her new online obsession, University of the Arts in Philadelphia. But she took about 10 minutes to realize she had screwed it up and was looking for University of the Arse. And we think only the little kids say funny things.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 1:05 pm 
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That is arseome! I really really really want that t-shirt....

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:21 pm 
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Meanwhile Poopieboy will be at their rival institution, the Fine Boobs Academy.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 8:38 am 
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children. ermegerd.
yesterday i saw the best of kid and the worst of kid. she was a trooper slogging around the freezing city doing consulate stuff [we didn't get out of manhattan til 6pm, and we started at 7] and i saw her be generous (seriously, what kid finds $5 on the ground and puts it in a pickle seller's tip jar when there is a truffle stand next door?) and skillful [dealing with a con man on the street, and realizing she was getting herself fleeced, and just rolling with it and laughing]. Of course there were tantrums because I'm not buying her a $300 full length leather trenchcoat for a cosplay convention. And tears in the consulate, i can't even remember why. At one point I just gave her the metrocard and said to meet me in the station.
after all these years i still can't believe the range and variety of emotions that parenting brings.

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