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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 10:44 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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Oh no! That's sad for her, especially since it sounds like she was really starting to appreciate what was involved and getting better at it. I hope she's able to find other opportunities if she likes teaching. (She might also be able to teach Portuguese to newly arrived English-speaking expats, if you're somewhere with a decent number of them, or get things like babysitting gigs more easily being bilingual)


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:41 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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you're right, it does give her other opportunities, as well as more time to actually learn how to do it (this was sort of thrown at her and she had no time to prepare).
I had to do it the shitty way too- the girl wouldn't show up on the days we arranged, and not even call, so we had to hunt her down and she'd be all like "oh i had something to do, I'll just come tomorrow". (which means we all have to clean the house again, hang around and wait for her again, etc, since then she'd show up 45m late). This happened twice. So every class we confirm 100 times and did she show up yesterday? nope. I thought there was a 50/50 chance she'd just assume she could show up today, so I made sure we were all out. Her mother is a jerk and her father works for my husband, which puts us all in a weird situation. Of course Baggy is afraid to have any confrontation, so I thought this would be best. And then school starts next week, oops things will be busier than we thought. Sorry!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:49 pm 
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Sick of Cupcakes
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torque wrote:
you're right, it does give her other opportunities, as well as more time to actually learn how to do it (this was sort of thrown at her and she had no time to prepare).
I had to do it the shitty way too- the girl wouldn't show up on the days we arranged, and not even call, so we had to hunt her down and she'd be all like "oh i had something to do, I'll just come tomorrow". (which means we all have to clean the house again, hang around and wait for her again, etc, since then she'd show up 45m late). This happened twice. So every class we confirm 100 times and did she show up yesterday? nope. I thought there was a 50/50 chance she'd just assume she could show up today, so I made sure we were all out. Her mother is a jerk and her father works for my husband, which puts us all in a weird situation. Of course Baggy is afraid to have any confrontation, so I thought this would be best. And then school starts next week, oops things will be busier than we thought. Sorry!


Yo, those parents still need to pay Baggy for every missed session! You're doing them a favor by cutting it off, so they don't have to keep paying for their kid to not show up, but that doesn't free them from their obligation to pay Baggy for the time she already committed.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:43 pm 
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Bathes in Braggs
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choirqueer wrote:
Yo, those parents still need to pay Baggy for every missed session! You're doing them a favor by cutting it off, so they don't have to keep paying for their kid to not show up, but that doesn't free them from their obligation to pay Baggy for the time she already committed.


That's what I thought when I read it. Poor Baggy. A good lesson in how crappy people can behave but she still should get her money.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 8:01 pm 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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torque wrote:
Oh and also, all the things she talked about doing this summer- learning to use her new airbrush, learning to sew, cooking and Japanese lessons- fell to the wayside. She's not doing ANY of it.


Oh you know, I was just painting a model today and remembered when you asked for airbrush recommendations last year. I looked to see if you had mentioned what happened, and now I guess I know... Well, that's too bad. :(

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:08 am 
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Me: Just do the things you know you need to do. Take care of the things you are capable of taking care of. Stop acting like a little kid and see where it gets you.

The boy: INSANITY ARGUING RECRIMINATION EXCUSES I'M MAKING IT MY LIFE'S WORK TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 3:45 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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solipsistnation wrote:
torque wrote:
Oh and also, all the things she talked about doing this summer- learning to use her new airbrush, learning to sew, cooking and Japanese lessons- fell to the wayside. She's not doing ANY of it.


Oh you know, I was just painting a model today and remembered when you asked for airbrush recommendations last year. I looked to see if you had mentioned what happened, and now I guess I know... Well, that's too bad. :(

Not all bad! just after i wrote this i was PO'd and sent her to the shop with her gear, a giant roll of paper, and told her to DO SOMETHING with her hands and without the internet. I don't have a pic of the painting handy, but it is VERY good. so all is not lost!! one of the shop guys does auto painting stuff and he had a grand old time showing her the ins and outs. and she really enjoyed it. like most things, it seems to come down to taking the !#$(&*!#$¨phone/internet away for a few hours. since i cut it to 2 hours a day there is a LOT more art getting done.

[we need to buy a new compressor, because having the multiple hoses at the shop (and so many people using them at the same time) is just asking for trouble. i just saw a "mini compressor" that we can set up here somehow (i think).]

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:13 pm 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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torque wrote:
Not all bad! just after i wrote this i was PO'd and sent her to the shop with her gear, a giant roll of paper, and told her to DO SOMETHING with her hands and without the internet. I don't have a pic of the painting handy, but it is VERY good. so all is not lost!! one of the shop guys does auto painting stuff and he had a grand old time showing her the ins and outs. and she really enjoyed it. like most things, it seems to come down to taking the !#$(&*!#$¨phone/internet away for a few hours. since i cut it to 2 hours a day there is a LOT more art getting done.


Oh good! I'm glad to hear it. Post a picture if you think about it, please. 8)

Quote:
[we need to buy a new compressor, because having the multiple hoses at the shop (and so many people using them at the same time) is just asking for trouble. i just saw a "mini compressor" that we can set up here somehow (i think).]


Yeah, that's probably a good idea... You can use pretty much any shop-type compressor as long as you have the right hose, a moisture trap, and a regulator. Check that airbrush post way back when for details, or your shop guy can probably help. 8)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:16 pm 
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We just had a monster meltdown over practicing her trombone. Which is so weird. She loves playing. I am going to chalk it up to exhaustion.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:22 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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solipsistnation, i just need to thank you again- that post was an ABSOLUTE wealth of experience and i can only imagine how much suffering-through-bumbling-exploration we would have faced without you sharing it!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:28 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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ALSO: OMIGOD IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!
cue music
it's the mooooost wonderful tiiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeeear (flittery dancing about)

kid is already up, which for her is a sign of butterflies. and yet she even ate breakfast (which is always a fight). amazing. She is now going to study in the afternoon (1:30-5:50), which means her schedule gets upended and she has to figure everything out. i think it might work out better than the early morning session (7:30-11:30) did. guess we'll see.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 1:04 pm 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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torque wrote:
solipsistnation, i just need to thank you again- that post was an ABSOLUTE wealth of experience and i can only imagine how much suffering-through-bumbling-exploration we would have faced without you sharing it!!!


Thank you for asking! There's nothing I like more than a chance to write long posts about stuff I like to talk about. 8) (Really!)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 6:39 pm 
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school seems to have been okay. mysteriously, her old science teacher from a few years ago is a teacher in her new school (like in the US, there is very little interplay between public and private schoolteachers, so this is weird). she wasn't the only new kid, and it didn't seem too bad. they also didn't give her any crepe about her accent, which i know was a concern (she has been speaking only english for months now and that does a number on your accent)-- apparently some kids just asked her if she was "Japanese from Japan" or whatever the alternative is, and left it at that. [it is a lot safer here to be identified as japanese than as american, so i'm sort of relieved nobody made a big deal about her transferring in from the US].

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:17 am 
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Bathes in Braggs
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torque, I missed that you moved back to Brazil. I hope Gabby does well in school this term. Does she go to a Japanese speaking school?


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:32 am 
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Bathes in Braggs
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So my boy was able to choke down 5 days worth of formula. On the fifth day he got a cold and on the sixth day he said if he had to drink any he would barf. That was a Saturday so he spent the weekend drinking some Gatorade and Sprite. I would have given him solid food but he said he wasn't hungry at all.

Monday I got in touch with the clinic and they said he should start eating solid food again - really there is no choice - until his tube feeding instruction next Tuesday. He was very happy to have toast and a banana!

The clinic called with full information yesterday and it turns out he is going to have to have the tube in 20 hours a day, not just at night like they had originally told us. I didn't tell him yet - I wanted to cry myself. I can't imagine how he will feel. I know he will be fine but it is a lot to ask a self-conscious teenager to walk around with a tube in his nose.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:35 am 
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Not a creepy cheese pocket person
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That's really rough. Are there any patient groups he could connect with? If he's interested, talking with other people going through the same thing you are can make a world of difference.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:29 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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Arisaig, my heart breaks for your kid too. But I think mollyjade's right- hospital kid support group?

(we did move back to Brazil because my family in the US is a bunch of douches. She started normal Brazilian public school, her portuguese has been crapola lately but there are lots of Japanese Brazilians with funny accents so she isn't considered nearly as weird as if she were to tell them she transferred in from the US. In any case, day three of school and she is doing okay.)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:38 pm 
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I know there is an IBD teen support group. I am adding that question to the list for next Tuesday, mollyjade.

I told him last night when we went through the list of preliminary information the nurse had given me on the phone. He wasn't impressed but we will deal with it. The upside of it is he doesn't have to drink any by mouth, which I don't think he could do now anyway.

He hasn't seen his dad since New Year's day when they watched a football (soccer) game at the dad's for a couple of hours. the boys have gone over there a few times since last summer when I arranged it. A friend gave me tickets for a basketball game this weekend and I suggested he ask his dad to go with him so I hope that will happen. I think I am going to push for more interaction between them now because, as crappy as his dad is, the dad is mostly okay when they are together - doing photography, playing video games, etc. - and if ever a kid needed both parents it's at a time like this.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 5:22 pm 
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Arisaig, my thoughts are sure with you and your son.


I am so flipping tired of running around for robotics. I am thrilled that the school and the district are so happy that they went to sate. But I am just so tired of all the trips various places for it. I have to take her to a school board meeting tonight. Sigh. Bad mommy moment.

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 5:37 pm 
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Sending you so many good thoughts Arisaig! It sounds really challenging and I hope that your son can get more support from other people, like his Dad and peers.

Sorry you're feeling stressed kfad! Not a bad mom :) Its so normal to not want to spend your days ferrying a kiddo around the state :)

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 10:48 am 
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Bathes in Braggs
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It all went very well on Tuesday. My son, 14 years old, INSERTED HIS OWN TUBE. It's impressive when anyone can do that, let alone a teenager - through his nose, down his throat and into his stomach.

This tube will stay in for a month and then he will have to remove it and put a new one in. He will probably have the 20 hour/day feeding for 12 weeks and then they will decide if he will continue with them at night only or if he can go back to regular food full time. The doc is going to start him back, slowly, on meds in a month and after his bad reaction to the meds last month I am not looking forward to that. For now I am just trying to relax and focus on helping him cope with the tube and not being able to eat.

The hospital gives you a (ordinary) backpack that they have specially rigged to hold the pump and feeding bag in place. He has gone off to school today with his tube and backpack. He has to change the formula at noon but that only takes a few minutes. After school he will have four hours off from the pump and then we will hook it back up at night. Every day he has 4 hours off and he can choose when to take them.

He missed the second round of tryouts for the badminton team yesterday and asked me to email to coach to explain why he wasn't there, that he still wanted to be considered for the team, and how he would be able to work it out with the tube feeding. I think the only thing he won't be able to do is camping with his Scout troop, but only because the pump has to be charged for 12 hours a day.

My father had a j-tube (surgically implanted tube into his stomach) for 25 years so the medical and practical side of it is not completely new, but of course the emotional impact is a lot different.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 11:05 am 
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I want to hug you both. Your son sounds really resilient.


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 12:22 pm 
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That is amazing. I have so much admiration for your son for that!
Hugs to you both!


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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 1:03 pm 
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Big old hugs to both of you!

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 Post subject: Re: Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:30 pm 
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Sending lots of good thoughts to you and your son Arisaig!

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