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Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!
http://forum.theppk.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=22943
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Author:  Kelly [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Hey, let's chat about our teens/tweens!

Even though there are only a few of us with older kids, I think we need a sticky to discuss them so it doesn't get lost amongst the baby stuff.

My Oldest is doing his annual (bi annual? I dunno anymore) lazy event where he decides not to do his work and then thinks he'll still magically receive all A's based on "I always make A's". We are always walking that line between trying to guide him and get him on track without babying him. It is not fun. I almost miss the not flushing the toilet thing.

Complain with me.

Author:  lavawitch [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

Ahaha. Senior-itis. I love my seniors until I can't stand them anymore. (I jest; I enjoy them, but they do get super frustrating)

Have you tried letting him get crappy grades for a quarter or two? That might give him a kick in the rear. It's about the only thing that works with my students.

Author:  Kelly [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

lavawitch wrote:
Have you tried letting him get crappy grades for a quarter or two? That might give him a kick in the rear. It's about the only thing that works with my students.


We've let him get bad progress reports grades, which motivated him to bring them up before report cards and do well the rest of the schoolyear... and then back to square one again.

Author:  lavawitch [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

How old is he? If he is in high school, my advice would be to let him sink himself without intervention, assuming the only problem is laziness. Presumably his survival skills will kick in before disaster strikes.

Does he have good organizational skills?

I see this all the time with my students. The more I nag and give them lists of makeup work or the more I accept late work, the worse everyone gets. When I post what they need online consistently and leave it on them to be responsible with few reminders, I get work out of them. Usually third quarter grades dip big time and then they get their acts together by fourth.

Author:  torque [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

my kid makes me crazy by making me actually live my moral beliefs.
her grades are crummy, but she's OK with it. I have my own problems with low grades, which really have very little to do with her reality (sadly [for type-A me], culturally grades are unimportant here, it's only important whether you pass or not). so i need to really put my money where my mouth is, stop bisqueing about grades, and try to figure out what it is i really, truly expect for and want from my kid- and stick with only that. And be happy with that.
dammit this kid is a real PITA. couldn't love her more, but dammit!!

Author:  Friday [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

We just spent two hours in the urgent care because of a reaction to fake eyelashes, but the doctor reassured her that since it seems to be a traumatic reaction, not an allergic one, she can get them back as soon as the swelling goes down.
Flames is in the "suffer for your art" school of beauty.

Author:  torque [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

OMFG. Sprog is home sick because of an allergy (first absence of the year!! She is the only kid that Never Misses School), and here i am squirming wondering what the hell the difference is between traumatic and allergic reactions!! poor Flames!

Author:  geekywhitegirljoan [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

This week I have no complaints about mine. I suspect that because I just wrote that next week will be hell.

Author:  erin32mc [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

I know Henry is only 11 but I truly feel like I am the mother of a teen.
I like the idea of this thread. I need a space to scream.

Author:  Kelly [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

erin32mc wrote:
I know Henry is only 11 but I truly feel like I am the mother of a teen.
I like the idea of this thread. I need a space to scream.


Shae's bad spells are actually easier now (at 13) then when he was 11. He reacts much calmer and just takes his punishments (phone, electronics, all things remotely fun, on the fence about soccer still). He's super apologetic and seems to genuinely feel sorry, he just seems to forget about it after awhile and goes back to the laziness. He immediately goes into Perfect Child Mode and does all of the things magically. Back when he was 11, he would have tried to throw a fit and act like he wasn't doing anything wrong and the drama part just drug on and on.

What I'm saying is, I'll be screaming with you.

Author:  Kelly [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

geekywhitegirljoan wrote:
This week I have no complaints about mine. I suspect that because I just wrote that next week will be hell.


Haha. Does this mean my week is great next week, please say yes.

Author:  FootFace [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

Mine is 10 and definitely a tween. Although I sometimes think he's 10 going on 40 going on 5.

But even with his tweeniness, he still reaches out to hold my hand when we're out and about! He still loves cuddling with Mrs. Face and me. He's away with the 5th grade on a 3-day "camping" trip, and Mrs. Face is chaperoning. He really wanted her to sit next to him on the bus.

Author:  Kelly [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

That is adorable ff! Shae hasn't touched my hand in public in years but does hug us both a bunch of times a day. Absolutely not in public though, no way.

Author:  Tofulish [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

Awwww FF, that is so sweet! (you are totally doing this complaint thing wrong)

Author:  erin32mc [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

My guy decided it was a good idea to spit
Toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror. He thought it was hysterical. I wish I didn't have to constantly
Remind him of what's cool and what isn't.

Author:  FootFace [ Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

Well, there's also the incessant, virtuosic arguing. The entitlement. The certainty that he sees things far more clearly than we do.

Author:  Kelly [ Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

erin32mc wrote:
I wish I didn't have to constantly
Remind him of what's cool and what isn't.


Dude. This.

I told Shae that basically everything his friends think is funny, is absolutely not funny to me. So yeah, that stopped the throwing wet, wadded up toilet paper at his bathroom ceiling even he did a few years ago.

Sorry 'bout the toothpaste.

Author:  Arisaig [ Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

FootFace wrote:
Well, there's also the incessant, virtuosic arguing. The entitlement. The certainty that he sees things far more clearly than we do.


Oh my god, yes. My youngest (son3) is 13 and I have to say the two previous years were harder than now. I think that may have had something to do with our family situation, though (which was not so good and is now much better)

His most frequent complaint is "I'm tired" and I was a little concerned about his health, but he plays on two soccer teams, plays tennis 3x a week and has other activities and usually walks 20 minutes to and from school with hills in both directions, so he is justified in being tired. However, as I point out to him ad nauseum, that does not mean he can leave his dirty dishes in the rec room, dirty clothes on the floor (and freak out because his soccer gear is not washed), etc.

My most frequent complaint is that he is still at the age where I have to force him to have a shower - see above with the two soccer teams and tennis. Last Friday he played tennis for an hour then had a 2 hour soccer practice and he reeked, but I had to forcibly escort him to the shower when we got home.

Author:  torque [ Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

oh god, my daughter just got over the resistance to bathing. in Brazil, it's unthinkable to take less than one bath a day, and my family members were ready to call family services, because obviously it must be some bad american mother thing if a brazilian girl won't take 2+ baths/day. (don't tell them i took a bath 1/wk til i started getting greasy, and i'm not THAT old.)
FC is going to blow her lid when i appear to pick her up from school. She is hoping to spend the day at the shop tweaking her costume for the japanese festival tomorrow, but her dad is sick and she'll be coming to work with me today. and then to an event tonight. oh boy.

Author:  Friday [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

I remember weekly bathing, too. That changed fast, by the time my nieces came around they showered all the time.
Twice daily baths? The lotion companies must be raking it in.

Author:  torque [ Sun Sep 23, 2012 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

you know what's funny? until maybe three or four years ago you couldn't find lotion here (except for old lady rose milk kind of stuff). I don't know how people managed.

FC survived her evening and got to be sullen together with another sullen teen during the (adult) event.

She went to the japanese festival with a giant knife made of EVA and managed to not get arrested or abused. I shouldn't even be posting here as (GASP!) i have no complaints at the moment... touch wood....

Author:  erin32mc [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

Last night Henry took a shower. Upon leaving the shower, he set the shower head to face directly at the shower door.
Fast forward to this morning, I turn on the water, hit the lever to make it go thru the shower head and get SOAKED!!

I admit, this would be funny if I was his college housemate, but a mom trying to get two kids ready for school....
not the way I wanted to start my morning. I pretended I didn't get soaked and said I caught it before I got wet.
Asked him to save if for college and the frat house.

Author:  MomMeTrois [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

My teen has been surprisingly well-behaved considering how jerky hormones and the whole teenage thing can make folks. The only annoying thing is that he's started calling me by my first name. It's not that he calls me by my name so much as the way in which he says it. It's a tone that denotes disrespect and he's doing it on purpose.

Anytime I correct him, it fuels a silly back and forth deal about how it's not disrespectful because it's my name and blah, blah, blah. I really dislike that he gets such a kick out of pushing people's buttons (not just mine, but everyone). I know that I shouldn't always react but sometimes it's hard not to considering a high school kid should know better.

Author:  Kelly [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

Shae's still in full-blown asparagus kissing mode, which I'm enjoying. Why yes, I do want you to wash the dishes/help with your little brother/etc and yes, of course you are still grounded.

He managed to get all his folders on track and work turned in before Friday's progress report grades, so we did take him to his weekend soccer tournament. Soccer is Life, so I can't tell if he's doing what he's supposed to so that he keeps being allowed to go to soccer or if he actually wants to get out of trouble. But I'll take it.

Oh, and the shower thing- he was like that for the longest time. It was either last year or the year before that he'd fake washing his hair in the shower! Once I sent him back in for 3 consecutive showers and he was nearly late for school (he hates being late to anything, so this was a huge deal), he got got over it. Luckily, now he showers a ton. Every morning and then after practice on nights he has soccer.

Author:  geekywhitegirljoan [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hey, let's complain about our teens/tweens!

The showering thing is killing me. My youngest is all soccer all the time (two teams, mutliple games/trainings and tournaments) and she will not bathe unless I force her. The stench from those little feet and shins is god awful. My middle one doesn't ever like to shower eitiher but his biggest activity is gaming so he is slightly less stinky. I don't get it because when my oldest was home (she is in college now) I couldn't get her out of the shower. sigh

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