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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:21 am 
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I don't have kids (though I haven't 100% given up hope yet) but I have always known that my sister and BIL would take them if I did, and I can't imagine that anyone I'd agree to procreate with would object (like biker boy would agree that they're better equipped than any of his siblings.) They're childfree by choice but still talk about maybe adopting a slightly older child (toddler to young school age) down the road, they'd raise a small child vegetarian and an older child who identified as such vegan, and are completely responsible and trustworthy. And would make sure that the father's family had access to the kids as well. But that's all hypothetical, of course.

When my bff's kid was littler, her will specified that one of her siblings would get her son but that I would have visitation rights. He's 16 now, though, so it's less of an issue. I was super touched that she took my relationship with her kid into account because he and I were good buds. I would absolutely take on raising a friend's child(ren) if they didn't have family they could rely on for that. I mean, it's a huge undertaking and a big thing to ask of someone, but I can't even imagine hesitating to say yes to someone close enough to me to consider it. All of which means not much except maybe don't rule out non-family members.

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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:47 am 
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My sisters came from a Christian family and my family is Jewish. My sisters were raised Jewish along with us. I'm sure it makes a difference how old the kids are, but my parents did not want there to feel like a divide between the biological kids and the adopted kids. We were all just their kids, and as such were all raised the same way. One year we got a Christmas tree because oldest sister missed them, but even then, we all got to decorate it. I liked that as a kid in the family. I think my sisters liked that too. Assuming my kids were still little if something happened, I would want them raised as part of their new family, not as this weird little appendage that has to be taken care of.


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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:43 pm 
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I feel like we are awfully lucky because we agreed straight away on my husband's sister and her husband. They are financially sound (though our life insurance would take care of kids), kind, caring and just all around lovely people. Plus, two added bonuses are that she is vegan, and they live in Seattle. I would love it if my kids were raised there. We also have a designated backup in my husband's cousin and wife for similar reasons. Like I said, I think we are most fortunate to have some great choices. We do need to update our will because it was done pre-kids, and this thread is a reminder I need to get my shiitake together and do it.

My husband's brother and wife asked us to take their kids, who are really close in age to ours, which we would love to do. But we didn't ask them in return, so that was kind of ... awkward.

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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:32 pm 
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Yeah - I kind of thought when I asked my sister if she would take my child that she would officially ask me to take hers...I just thought that was what she had planned. Turns out she wants her SIL to have them. Kind of hurt my feelings a little for a few minutes but I got over it quickly :)


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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:48 pm 
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We have a variety of siblings who would be suitable step-in parents for us. But, I was just thinking about what I would do if a friend asked me to be step-in parents. I mean, I would be touched, and I would totally want to do my best for the child(ren), but we both want 2 kids. Total. On top of the grief of losing a close friend or family member, we would need to raise more children than we want. Selfish concern, but something that occurred to me.


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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 7:50 am 
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I think either of my brothers would be great. We're not very alike in certain ways, but they're both great guys who love kids and have great partners. The eldest one has two bigger kids and lives close to my parents. The second one has one kid who is 6 months younger than R, and they live close to my husband's family which I think is an advantage. My husband's brother lives far away from everyone else, and his sisters have enough to do with their own kids, so I don't think that would work as well.

We haven't really asked anyone, but I'm sure it would work out.

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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 10:40 am 
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I am third in line for my sister's kids, behind both sets of grandparents. It makes sense, because although they are old, all grandparents live super close to them and are financially willing and able to take the boys. I live far away and am in the military, so my personal situation is less stable. Though I am single and have never planned on having kids, I'd take them in a heartbeat and have the financial resources to support them. I expect them to move me to first in the next 5-10 years, as the grandparents get older.

I was honored to be asked and the conversation wasn't weird or sad or anything. Now we joke about the weird ways I'll raise them, like being entirely nocturnal and stuff like that.

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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:49 pm 
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I now am the proud owner of a life insurance policy. Thanks to this thread, if I die my child (and his stay at home dad) will not be destitute.
Still need to get that will underway. AND the smoke detector. I guess they sell those at wal-mart?


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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:47 am 
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You guys are all forgetting about PPKOMMUNE. The collective will take care of your kiddos!

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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:10 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
You guys are all forgetting about PPKOMMUNE. The collective will take care of your kiddos!



I was raised in a commune-like situation for a while and man I would LOVE to have this happen. Someone buy some land, quick!


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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 7:04 pm 
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You guys! When mr. poopie was in England a couple of weeks ago he went to visit his younger (childless) sister, and had The Talk with her and she agreed! I am so relieved. She's the only family member between both of our families who isn't religious, and they are just so like us and have similar ideals and I'm just SO RELIEVED.

Now we just need to make a will. Eep.

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 Post subject: Re: Who would take your kids if something happened to you?
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 8:19 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
You guys are all forgetting about PPKOMMUNE. The collective will take care of your kiddos!

Toby thinks that Ranger lycophyte is awesome. He would live with you and Friday in a red hot minute.

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