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 Post subject: Re: separating families
PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:37 pm 
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Baking In The Flavor
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Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:37 pm
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Location: the mossy semi-wood
j-dub wrote:
Kids are pretty amazingly resilient if given context, support and a place to talk through what they're feeling.

And families look like everything under the sun--living together, living apart but being together, breaking up and getting back together, four moms, three dads, etc.

And I think the idea that parents should be beholden to what won't confused kids is a terrible parenting and life strategy. Parents help kids make sense of the world, and loving each other but choosing not to live together is pretty low-down on the list of things that are hard to make sense of.


j-dub, thank you for this.


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 Post subject: Re: separating families
PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:49 pm 
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Baking In The Flavor
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Location: the mossy semi-wood
We told both the kids separately and neither of them were all that upset honestly. Which may be more telling than if they had been super sad. My bf's son was bummed that he will be leaving the animals (the kitties and our little dog) and he said he will miss our house. My daughter said she was a little sad but then moved on quickly to the next thing.

My daughter and I have gone away to visit with friends for a a week or so and I am hoping he finds a place while we are gone. I am kind of looking forward to having my house back and not having to be everything to everyone all the time. Just my daughter.

We still very much love each other but as he said his anger, frustration and inability to be the best person he can be for us as a family is ruining our relationship (and honestly it is ruining his relationship with my daughter as well) We didn't tell the kids that part of it, just that we need more space to be better at parenting and as a couple who dearly love each other.

I know that it all has been confusing for my daughter, she has a daddy she never sees, a poppa who is the best guy in the whole world that she doesn't see very often, and now my bf who would be her step-dad. But she has me to clear it up and remind her that all these people love her and love me. and seriously that is all that should matter.


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 Post subject: Re: separating families
PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 9:41 am 
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Not NOT A Furry
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Location: somewhere in London, loving my life in the rain
Glad telling the kids seems to have gone well rubylove. I'm sure you are geared up for the possibility of other kids putting a different interpretation on things for your duahgter ('your family is divorcing but don't want to tell you straight") so I guess you'll be watching out for that one and checking back with her that she's okay in the weeks to come.


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