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Is it wrong to say no Nintendo DS light?
Yes, it's wrong, you old fossil 16%  16%  [ 12 ]
No, it's prudent 30%  30%  [ 23 ]
Who knows? Just make the call 17%  17%  [ 13 ]
What's a Nintendo DS light? 21%  21%  [ 16 ]
I don't know, either 17%  17%  [ 13 ]
Total votes : 77
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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:06 am 
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I say it's not unreasonable to say "no". Especially when there already other electronics that he can (does) play.
Keep in mind, my child DOES have a DS, NOT given to her by me, though, and I really think that sometimes these things just become about convenience for the gift-giver. Like, now that my mother has given our child this lovely machine, every other gift- giving opportunity or visit it's "bring your DS, you might get a new game for it!" and she unfailingly gets new games for it it seems every month. Then she plays the game obsessively and doesn't actually do much visting with the people she is seeing, because they gave her this game...Catch 22.
Enough is enough. Like I say, ours does have one, but for us the real struggle is pets, namely, too many, that are not being taken care of promptly/properly, and for this reason the thing we said 'no' too this year was the OTHER set of Grandparents buying a lizard for her for Christmas, even though, oh, look, it was on kijiji with it's terrarium and all!
There is a *reason* for it being on there, and yes, she does want one, but come on, she'd eight, how many pets can she be responsible for? And she already has a rodent that came first, he is enough responsibility for her personally, plus now his cage-mate died, and degus can't live singly, so she is already getting another one of those fairly soon...
Sorry, that was long, but I can relate and I know it's hard to say no...

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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:46 am 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:
If we have kids I'm sure they will have every video game and I hope we don't totally screw them up because of it! It'd be hard to say a kid couldn't have a video game when their parent(s) were constantly playing them. (i meant eppy's dungeon master and me, not you obviously)


i have had this thought too. but like torque was saying, hopefully playing together with other people (read: her parents) will make it a little better. our oldest nephew plays on his leapfrog or whatever all through every family gathering, totally not even aware when people are talking to him; when he doesn't have it with him, he becomes a great, interesting kid who interacts with the rest of his family. i think the solitude of the handheld game makes it worse, so if you're already having trouble with screen time . . . maybe it's not the best idea. but i don't really know.


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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:26 pm 
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying no to something like this. Even though I allowed my parents to get my kids a Wii for Christmas (despite my mixed feelings about having a video game system in the house), I would nevereverever let them get DS's or any portable video game system for the simple reason that things like this always end up being smuggled into places where they aren't supposed to be (like school or outside) unless I keep them on lockdown.

Not that a Wii is much better, but it stays in one place, it can't be snuck out of the house, and it will be in a place where its use can easily be monitored (and ended if too much time is being spent with it).


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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:27 am 
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Kiddo wrote:
Sunflower wrote:
If you're a luddite, then so am I. I think it's kind of ridiculous that kids have to be plugged into some sort of electronic 24/7, so I tend to be anti-electronics for kids. When I was growing up, the only time I ever really had conversations with my mom was in the car to and from school, so I think it sucks that cars come equipped with DVD players to keep the kids "quiet." And it's doubly ridiculous that now some of them come with two DVD players so that siblings don't even have to learn to negotiate with each other or take turns or anything. Everyone can be plugged into their own individual entertainment and never interact with each other at all. BAH!

I foresee having many, many arguments with Mr. Sunflower about this in my future.

I hate that too so, so much. I mean, I get having something for an hours-long car trip, but you KNOW kids are going to want to use those all the time! Yuck.


I wonder how these eventually took off soso much.
My parents must had gotten a good deal on some TV/VCR small screened (like 8 inches or whatever) box that had a car lighter hookup. This was back in like 1993 or something. We almost never used it, even on hugehuge trips. Like, maybe we'd watch one movie every other big trip.

But we didn't really have very many movies so maybe that was part of the problem. Most movies we had were taped off the TV.

We also had a portable video game back in 4th grade! Since this was 1988, there were no rules about portable games at school, so I probably started that ball rolling. It was only one game of course because it was the stone ages of video games, and had about the excitement of pong...but we hardly used these too.

Mostly we just played with our stuffed animals.

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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Sun Dec 26, 2010 10:15 am 
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oh man, we bought a portable dvd player for our 20+ hour car rides back home with a toddler. it's friggin' magical. that first day we can usually get by without turning it on, but after that he's just so pissed to still be sitting in a car it's the only thing that keeps us from having to listen to constant screaming. we never use it on regular car rides, but holy balls has it made traveling home tolerable.

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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:15 pm 
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I think it's totally reasonable for you to say no.

I grew up in the Game Boy era and I was definitely not allowed to have one. I had a Nintendo with about 3 games, and I was allowed to play for an hour or two a day, and every so often my mom would decide I was playing too much and the Nintendo would "go on vacation" for a while. I complained, I begged, and I definitely would play obsessively at my friends' houses. I got over it. I grew up. And I didn't become habituated to playing video games all the time. My friends who grew up playing video games and watching TV (which I was also not really allowed to do) all the time STILL play video games and watch TV all the time.

I think it would also be totally reasonable for you to say something like, "I'm not going to buy it for you, but if you really want it and can find a way to earn the money for it yourself, then you can have it." Obviously this is not the best choice if you're dead set against him having one at all, but if you're on the fence about it and want him to learn about how expensive something like that is and how to earn money for a thing that he wants, that might be the teachable moment here.

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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 30, 2010 8:37 pm 
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I had a fit. I told the mil no DS for my now 11yr old son. She went ahead and bought it and told me 4 days before x-mas. I was pissed and told her she could keep it at her home that all ist would do is crate a fight at my house and a situation that I would have no relationship with my children. And the next week they went to Grandma's and both sat in that chair for 9 hours and barely said a word to them. Score....point made, no longer the bad guy.
Frankly I find them a big pain in the butt, they require constant monitoring of time, if a new game comes into the houe it is a battle about who is playing etc. They are great for the car though. I did something really good for my home a couple months ago. I shut off the satillite when the box no longer got my signal in properly. It took a few weeks for the Fios to be installed. Having no tv or electronics as I used the opportunity to basically unplug them was so good for their creative level. They are playing so much better lately and far less fighting between the two.

My vote is no.

We need a whole nother thread about 8-9 year olds in school with cell phones. My jaw dropped when my kids told me that over 50% of the 9-11 year olds around them have their own cells if not iphones.


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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 1:43 am 
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GlueGun has a cell phone. (Not an iphone!) He takes it with him when he goes out to a friend's or has a (small) adventure with kids from the neighborhood. It makes us both feel better and more in control.

So I'd say it's in his pocket one day every couple weeks?

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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 1:17 pm 
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Shae has a (cheap) cellphone too. He only uses it for when soccer practice lets out early, etc. Definitely gives me peace of mind. Tons of his friends of iphones/etc and text nonstop.

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 Post subject: Re: Unbending Luddite or Prudent Parent?
PostPosted: Sat Jan 01, 2011 1:42 pm 
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we are pretty ok with games around here, as mike love video games and I am a Dr. Mario champion. Henry got a mobigo from his grandparents for christmas but he is only allowed to use it on long car trips, airplanes, or in lieu of watching a show if he is sick or something. It actually stays in a console in the car.

We have talked about cell phones a lot because we both think it is absolutely rediculous that kids and teens carry phones around and text all day. It actually makes me feel really sad and really sick. I worry a lot about social/life skills when people are so plugged in.

Our plan is to have 1-2 cheapy phones (or one of the ones that you can only call certain numbers from that are made for kids) for the kids to take if they go somewhere by themselves and might need a ride that will otherwise stay turned off in a desk at home. Unless the world changes very drastically I will not give my child a cell until they graduate high school. Mike thinks I am crazy, but I didn't have one until I went to college and I really don't see why someone would need their own. I just now got a magic phone that has email and stuff and that is only because I need to stay connected to people since I am on call 24/7.


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