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 Post subject: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 10:35 am 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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My son is 2.5 and has always been a picky eater. He is just getting worse and worse with each passing week. I am a person who drinks green smoothies, green juices, huge salads etc..... and I have a son who will not touch veggies. I used to be able to hide them, now he finds them and refuses to eat at all. If he finds a veggie on his plate he screams to get down from the table and he won't eat at all. I love to cook and experiment with new foods but he will not eat! All he wants to eat is bread.

I am so frustrated this past week, I know he can sense it. I swear he eats less when he senses my frustration. Also, I have my own issues with food, I am wondering is he is sensing that as well.

Does anyone have any advice?


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 10:49 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I'm having a similarly difficult time with my five-year-old. I'm fairly certain it's just a stage, but it's a ridiculously annoying one. I think it's important not to make it a power struggle, and I know that's super hard and we have been having issues there ourselves. I've been reading this blog by a social scientist who focuses on kids' eating habits. Very interesting with a tonne of useful information. Here is a top ten list from there which gives you a good idea of what kind of philosophy she goes by: http://www.itsnotaboutnutrition.com/top-ten/

We've also been focusing on making sure all his snacks are really good healthy snacks (ie not bunches of crackers, cookies, what-have-you) so that he won't avoid eating lunch/dinner so he can have more snacks later. It's been helping for sure. I love baking, so it can be really hard sometimes. I'm baking less these days though, and also making sure to use fruits for desserts.

Hope you find some things that work for you. I've been frustrated as well by my son's eating habits, and I know how hard it is. Good luck!

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when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:26 pm 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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Bodhi,

Thanks so much for these links!!! I can't wait to sit by myself in silence and devour this info. I have taken peeks during the day but have not had a chance to read thoroughly. Looks great. Thanks so much!


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 10:05 am 
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Dinner for 2 weeks running now has been all dumped off the tray without even a taste. I have really TRIED to come up with kid-friendly foods too. I get so MAD when he won't even taste something that I made especially for him!!! The pediatrician says that when he won't eat the food offered, that mealtime should end and no substitutes offered...we have been giving him a PBJ and/or banana instead if he refuses dinner because I don't want him waking in the night hungry...I don't know though. What does everyone else do?


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:01 pm 
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It won't hurt him to wake up hungry, and offering substitutes only reinforces the behavior. Choosing to feed your child healthy meals isn't the same as denying them food and as long as the dinners offered are reasonably kid-friendly I don't think it is in the least bit mean.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:00 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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I'm not worried that waking up hungry will hurt my daughter, but it hurts meeee.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:20 am 
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Hearts James Cromwell

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Annak: Totally!

I am confused, does waking up hungry mean feeding them in the middle of the night?
Then you wouldn't want to give them something rewarding...?
And does the sleep interruption have repercussions the next day? (For the kid; I know it would for me as the parent!)


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:41 am 
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I guess "waking in the night hungry" is purely hypothetical!!! It hasn't happened because we always give him something else to eat. And yes, I am more worried about myself if I have a hysterical toddler yelling in the middle of the night...he can sleep in as long as he wants the next day, mama has to get up and function at work. I would think that if he woke in the night hungry that there would be no rest until he had something to eat. I guess I should actually let this play out one night and see how it goes though...


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:28 am 
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Has it on Blue Vinyl
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Ugh I'm totally in this boat too. I have to read that blog.

A new annoying development is that my kid used to love fruit - all fruit any fruit. Nowadays he will barely eat any except for apples, bananas, grapes and watermelon. I could always count on fresh fruit as a healthy snack until he was about 2.5 so now it is just extra hard to figure out what to give him.

I think partly it may be because we give him cookies and candy sometimes, so he lost his taste for it. I think the other problem is what they serve kids at his daycare is not healthy, and he wants to eat what they're eating. So school is definitely a bad example.

I found some "hummus" salad dressing at Trader Joe's, and he loves regular hummus so today I am going to pour it on his lunch veggie (broccoli) and I'm really hoping he'll eat it!! *fingers crossed*

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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:45 am 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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So glad this thread is pushed up. I started this thread in the summer and since then my son has gotten even worse. Ok, so I have a vegan son that won't eat fruit or veggies. Nice.

He will only eat freeze dried fruit or fruit in those pouches. Veggies have to minced, blended, or hidden always!! I am always at a loss as to what to feed him. Planning dinner is no longer fun. Every time I cook anything my husband says "whats he gonna eat?" Because he knows that he never ever eats anything new or different. He has completely stopped trying new foods. I am getting worried about his nutrient intake and he has been sick for the past 2 weeks, so I am very worried.

I agree, school is such a bad example as well as grandparents!


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:48 am 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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annasrobbie wrote:
Dinner for 2 weeks running now has been all dumped off the tray without even a taste. I have really TRIED to come up with kid-friendly foods too. I get so MAD when he won't even taste something that I made especially for him!!! The pediatrician says that when he won't eat the food offered, that mealtime should end and no substitutes offered...we have been giving him a PBJ and/or banana instead if he refuses dinner because I don't want him waking in the night hungry...I don't know though. What does everyone else do?


This is so tough!!! I feel ya. I know the "rules" are that if he refuses what you serve, then dinner is over. But, it is so hard to put your kid to bed without dinner. I do it though. I did it last night. He did not even eat a bite of his dinner. We offer nothing else. Sometimes I give him a healthy-ish snack (Mary's Gone Crackers or homemade healthy cookies) before bed while we read him a bedtime story. Sometimes we do it sometimes not. This is a tough call. Ugh! I don't envy us.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:50 am 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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Abelskiver wrote:
It won't hurt him to wake up hungry, and offering substitutes only reinforces the behavior. Choosing to feed your child healthy meals isn't the same as denying them food and as long as the dinners offered are reasonably kid-friendly I don't think it is in the least bit mean.


Yup, yup. I like this. I will re-read this later if I am struggling. It is so true. Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 11:15 am 
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***LIES!!!***
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I don't like the idea of sending kids to bed hungry. My kid-feeding guru (http://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace.com/home/) suggests giving kids an out with some really bland, but nutritionally adequate food that they will reliably eat, but don't especially love (the blog's suggestion is cottage cheese, maybe plain tofu or a plain yogurt?). For one thing, kids really will starve themselves for control and it seems like my primary responsibility is to keep them well, not to keep them in line. For another, I'm not in the mood to be woken up by a toddler in the middle of the night who's hungry.

At this point I consider us lucky because Malka will almost always eat a bite of something offered at dinner and she'll be satisfied by it (she also still has a 5 oz. bottle of soy milk before bed that holds her till morning). She tends to eat less and less as the day goes on, so if she had an okay breakfast and lunch (sometimes lunch is not lunch, but two snacks), then I call it good. Sometimes when she refuses to even touch dinner and is totally melting down I will cuddle her for a minute to calm down, then send her away from the table for another couple minutes to compose herself, and then she'll come back and try it. We'll just stay at the table eating to establish that this is the meal time and this is her opportunity to eat and that we aren't going to come and play until we're done eating - that's usually enough to attract her back to the table for a bite or two. I also break a lot of civilized eating rules - she doesn't have to sit, she can be dancing around the kitchen and come back when she wants bites, she can eat with her hands.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 12:32 pm 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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Thank you, Ariann, great advice. I do similar things too. I will check out the blog you linked, it looks interesting. There are many rules I have been tempted to break as well. My son would eat so much more if I let him stand up and dance as he ate. I have let him do that on occasion and he eats better that way. Especially, when he can play then come back and nibble, play then come back and nibble. I feel like this would make him feel more in control and give him a longer time window to eat. Usually, at the table he eats just enough to make the hunger go away and then he wants out! He literally sits at the table for 3-5 minutes each night. If he is hungry, he eats so fast and just stuffs the food down. If he's not hungry then he cries to get down. Like I said, standing up and dancing would work great for him too. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:46 pm 
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My son is nearly 4, and he's actually pretty good about eating most things, but if he's tired or he wants to play instead of eating he'll tell me he doesn't like whatever I've made for tea. Sometimes it will take him ages and a lot of encouragement (usually something like, "If you don't eat your tea, we won't have time to play with your lego") and sometimes I just give in, pick up his fork and feed him myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:27 pm 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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I had a meltdown at dinner last night. I burst into tears. My son has not eaten for 2 straight days. I am taking him to the doctor today. He refuses everything, EVERYTHING. My husband alluded to the fact that it is my cooking and maybe we should start cooking different things and giving him more of a variety, i.e. junk food. I tried to tell him this is not the way. He then told me I always get defensive about food. And things escalated from there. At the same time I have been working so hard to not make food an issue and last night I let that all go down the drain. Also, we were so desparate for him to eat that we brought his plate into the living room to try to get him to eat in front of the TV (big no,no for me but hubs was desparate). He still only ate 2 tiny bites of sweet potato. I think I am going to have him see an OT or specialist about this. I am wondering if he has some sort of sensory issues.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2014 3:51 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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Oh gosh, I'm so sorry Bonnie. Maybe he does have sensory issues. Sounds like it's worth checking out at least.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2014 4:01 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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yeah Bonnie that's really hard! There are pediatric eating specialists (sorry I don't know what the term is for it!) out there apparently; a friend's 4 your old has been seeing one for a while and has been diagnosed with some kind of disorder. It must be very difficult for you and even harder when your husband insinuates your cooking is at fault. I hope you can get some support or referrals from a pediatrician.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2014 11:49 am 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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Thank you all for your concern. So, I took him to the docs yesterday and it turned out he had a double ear infection! I also talked to her about his eating and such; she was not concerned at all. She said it all sounds like normal toddler pickiness. So I am going to go with it for awhile and his yearly checkup is next month so I can always bring it up again if need be. Also, Ariann, did you know that, that site you linked, Dina Rose, has a new book out? I just got it last night and started reading it, it is very, very good! Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:09 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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I did know that, although I haven't gotten around to getting the book yet. Coincidentally I discovered a couple months ago that I am a friend of a friend of hers. Apparently she had to start the website in the first place because the publisher who agreed to publish her book said she had to create a market for her ideas first so the book would sell.

Really glad you found out about the ear infection! I can imagine that would make it unpleasant to chew and swallow.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:00 am 
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Awww, a double ear infection! Ouch! Hope he feels better soon.

It is so hard to know when little kids are sick. (like my son says he has a tummy ache practically every day, but I don't think he really does) A few times now he hardly ate anything when he was sick, so now I know to take that into consideration if he is having a really rough patch with eating. It sounds totally obvious now, but it took me a few times to figure it out!

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I'm not asking for utopian dreams...just a little peace in this world. That's a logical thing. - Deee-Lite


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:19 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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An amazing coincidence, my connection to Dina Rose gifted me with an autographed copy of her book yesterday. I've only read a little bit so far, but damn, I think this woman is a genius.


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:14 am 
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Can't Dance, Isn't Part of Revolution

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^^^^Ariann, I am about to really know Dina Rose. Hahahha! She is calling me at 11 this morning. She is doing a free phone consultation with me. I am so excited. I am so glad you pointed me to her, otherwise I never would have known.

I am glad she decided to do the blog, I love it! The book is awesome too. I wish my family that is with my son while I am at work, would read it too. They act like I am some sort of food obsessive. I just want to teach my son good habits.

I started implementing some of her ideas and my son ate a banana, brussels, and something else that was new. I am beyond ecstatic.

Thanks all!


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:36 am 
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Yay!


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 Post subject: Re: Feeding Toddlers is Mind Blowingly Annoying Part 2
PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:59 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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I feel like I deserve a high five. Kid ate zero prepackaged crepe today and zero sweets. She did have two small biscuits that we made together from scratch with EB and a little jelly. She also ate an entire pb sandwich on whole wheat bread, a couple bites of pasta with tomato sauce (that was the breakfast she requested!), half a yellow bell pepper, several grape tomatoes, dried mango, a couple raisins, avocado chunks, and clementines, and her usual daily pint of unsweetened soy milk. She also sniffed at some chili, although declared it too spicy to try a taste.

I am trying to live by the rules of moderation, variety, and whatever that other rule was.


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