| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Mon Dec 22, 2014 8:51 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 13 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:32 pm 
Offline
Making Threats to Punks Again
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 1106
Location: 'Burbs of California
It's really stressing me out. I'm just not that social of a person, so it's not something that comes naturally to me. And, of course, sometimes your kid decides her best friend at school is the daughter of the man who has a bumper sticker that says "Eat beef. The West wasn't won on salad." Ugh. The daughter is very sweet, so I can see why L likes her, but really hate having to be appropriately social with her dad. L is only turning 4, so I'm sure this is only the beginning of these problems....


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 7:23 pm 
Offline
Dislikes Rick Santorum
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 am
Posts: 5566
Location: United States of New England
i pretty much have nightmares about this because i have really bad social anxiety. right now BP is too young to really have friends she met on her own but i pretty much am already having panic attacks thinking about the future.
im already really bad at interacting with other moms at storytime or the park so i dont envision this going well in the future.

_________________
Unimpressed Baby Blog


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:35 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:42 pm
Posts: 2368
Oh, I so relate. I have pretty much sucked at this until very, very recently (and I still suck, just slightly less). Inez being in preschool has helped - it's a consistent group of people and there's some built-in socializing (park after school, parent nights, etc.). When it was just randoms from story time or the playground or whatever? Forget about it.

I still feel really awkward and it's compounded by the facts that a) we are one of only a few new families so everyone already knows each other and they are like super close real life friends (not just parent-friends) and it feels like transferring to a new junior high or something and b) some of these people are like crazy, crazy rich and I just feel like a totally different breed. They've been nothing but nice, but I feel very uncomfortable sometimes. Maybe (probably) that's stupid, but I can't quite shake it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:18 pm 
Offline
Married to the wolfman
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:49 pm
Posts: 6025
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Hands down one of my least favorite parts of parenting. Honestly I don't even really make an effort anymore beyond remembering people's names at birthday parties. My feeling is that the kids socialize with their peers all day in preschool, it's not super important that we continue to push social stuff on evenings/weekends.

It's possible I'm just lszy and anti social, but I can own that.

_________________
"Hummus; a gentleman's vice." -- Mars

coldandsleepy cooks, THE BLOG!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:48 am 
Offline
Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2013 3:09 pm
Posts: 224
This morning's walk to school was very awkward and anxiety-inducing because Lysander met his friend halfway to school so I had to walk and talk with his friend's mum, argh! I'd love to be able to socialise and make small talk, but I worry that my anxiety just makes me come across as incredibly rude.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 11:25 am 
Offline
Naked Under Apron
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:08 pm
Posts: 1719
YES coldandsleepy own it! haha another socially awkward parent here. H and I both struggle with being socially appropriate because we are pretty much hermits (we do of course sometimes hang out with the punkrock people we've been hanging out with for many many years but that just ain't the same.) And I feel bad if Dahlia has inherited our anti-socialness, but she sure doesn't seem to give a fork about play dates or even hanging with kids outside of school. She is super eager to come home and play with her sister and that has always pretty much trumped her interest in socializing outside school. I'm not sure how much socializing goes on in school either but she seems happy, talks about other kids etc so I'm not worried about it.

My rationale is there are so many years ahead where she won't want to hang out with us OR her sister. We always wondered if the fact that she was home with H all alone for the first 3 years made her this way, but this is possibly also just her personality! Sierra, on the other hand, is seeming quite sociable and direct with people which is hilarious.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:21 pm 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:00 am
Posts: 1077
Scarlett seems to be way more social than we are, so we're worried about the future! So far we haven't had to deal with this much since two year olds don't seem to actually care much about their friendships. It's a huge concern though since we are 95% sure we have absolutely nothing in common with any other parents where we live right now. We're planning on moving somewhere more civilized in the next year, so hopefully there will be parents out there who we can actually relate to! Right now the best I can hope for is a parent who doesn't have a gun in their back pocket when they drop their kid off at preschool. Yep.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:44 am 
Offline
Nooch of Earl
User avatar

Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:18 pm
Posts: 3750
Location: Bella Napoli
Vi's also MUCH more social than my husband and I put together.

Basically, moving to a new country where I'm still learning the language and get quickly lost when people slip into dialect has ensured that nobody really wants to make a lot of effort to talk to me at her school.

Um, I guess that wasn't very encouraging. I talk a little to people at her American-run classes and activities, but most of them live on base and I feel like we have very different lives. I'm one of VERY few people out here sending their kid to a local (Italian) school, and the issues that come up are just really different. But yeah, count me among those who are just not good at parent small talk.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 7:53 am 
Offline
Seagull of the PPK
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:46 pm
Posts: 8518
Location: Brasil
that is exactly me, annak. and as the kids get older, and i hear about how this mother hits the kid and this one threw the son out because he's gay, and this one makes the daughter get drug tested every week and that father is an alcoholic, I do not go past hello/goodbye. As a foreigner and an American, I am sort of expected to be a crasshole. Most people don't even get close enough to find out that information, but you can bet that when I have to, I use it with reckless abandon.

_________________
Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:01 pm 
Offline
Not NOT A Furry

Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:38 am
Posts: 528
Location: Aarhus, Denmark
Thirding the ex-pat/non-native speaker issues. I have exactly one Danish mom-friend. We met about a year ago at the public library, where I summoned up all my courage to talk to her and her daughter since she (the mom) had a wrap carrier, a pierced nose, and was nursing. I thought that I'd never met any other hippie mommies in Aarhus and was keen to make a friend.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:33 am 
Offline
Attended Chelsea Clinton's Wedding
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2013 3:09 pm
Posts: 224
Another awkward walk to school with L's friend and his mum. I really dislike making small talk. Normally if I don't have anything to say, I just don't say anything, but I know that can be interpreted as rude, so we spoke about what we did at the weekend and I forced myself to ask questions and say things.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:46 pm 
Offline
Brain Made of Raw Seitan
User avatar

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:16 pm
Posts: 1244
Location: ATX
Ugh, I dread the day Sven starts picking his own friends. Luckily he attends hippie preschool so the rest of the parents are pretty similar to us, but I really worry about this come public school! We're relatively social but I really don't have in interest in making friends with people who have drastically different parenting styles (call me a jerk! it's ok! but I just can't handle it) I just want him to hang out exclusively with all the kids in our circle forever.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Being social with the parent(s) of your kid's friends
PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:41 am 
Offline
Dislikes Rick Santorum
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 am
Posts: 5566
Location: United States of New England
yesterday we were at the park and there was a woman there with 2 kids and the little boy appeared to be about BP's age. maybe 2 at the most and he was whining/crying as 2 year olds do and she told him to stop being a baby.

ugh i dont think i can handle other people

_________________
Unimpressed Baby Blog


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 13 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: sashi and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer