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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:19 pm 
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i forgot that things were different because we had L at home.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:43 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
I guess my baby was abnormal, because he didn't just sleep the first couple of days. Or weeks. In fact, he just wanted to cry and nurse non-stop while we were in the hospital, and the nurses refused to let me lie in bed with him, so I sat up in a hard wooden rocking chair for two straight days after giving birth, so he could stay latched 24/7. I didn't get any rest until I figured out nursing while lying down. I spent nearly every minute of the first two weeks sitting in the glider with him because he never slept, and I was miserable. My husband didn't want me to lie down with him at all because the nurses had scared him, but he wasn't the one who was sleep deprived and sitting on 3rd degree stitches. So, you know, don't let anyone make you afraid of sleep-nursing. Just figure it out as early as possible.

Why doesn't anybody tell you about nursing while lying down? I had to discover it on my own, too, and life was amazing once I did. I didn't have any problems nursing Beetroot right after giving birth, but they were still showing me all these positions (football hold is so awkward unless you have gigantic fabulous pillows, which I do not) and discussing a good latch and everything and NOBODY said it was possible to nurse lying down. When I discovered it, I was all, "I can't be the only person who came up with this, can I? Why didn't anybody else tell me about thie?!"

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:31 am 
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they actually showed the lying down nursing position at the bf class we went to but im not sure they will allow it at the hospital.
I *kind of* see why they are against it. im not saying I agree with them but im guessing it's a liability issue for a hospital and they don't want people falling asleep and babies falling out of hospital beds.

again I don't agree necessarily but im guessing that is why they do it.
they seem very wound up about safety and liability and being sued at hospitals so it's probably in their best interest to have people sitting up on a hard surface even if it's not necessary.

I guess we'll see what we are told since we are giving birth at a hospital.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:31 am 
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Oh, i think side lying is hard to get the hang of right away compared to some other BF positions. Initially they really want you to make sure baby is getting a good latch etc and if you've never breastfed before, that can be really hard to establish even when you're sitting upright and have a good view of the baby's face.

Football hold is absolutely the worst though. An LC told me after E was born that because of my huge boobs, it was the only hold that was going to work with an infant. Ha ha ha, no.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:29 am 
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LisaPunk wrote:
they actually showed the lying down nursing position at the bf class we went to but im not sure they will allow it at the hospital.
I *kind of* see why they are against it. im not saying I agree with them but im guessing it's a liability issue for a hospital and they don't want people falling asleep and babies falling out of hospital beds.

again I don't agree necessarily but im guessing that is why they do it.
they seem very wound up about safety and liability and being sued at hospitals so it's probably in their best interest to have people sitting up on a hard surface even if it's not necessary.

I guess we'll see what we are told since we are giving birth at a hospital.

I didn't need practise or a demo, I just wish they would have mentioned it as an option -- for the record, the place where I gave birth the first time was crazy strict and wouldn't let me co-sleep or anything. I remember a midwife was all, "You are looking sleepy -- you're not allowed to sleep with your baby, get him off your chest, put him in the bassinet!" I wasn't too miffed about it (but I was miffed about not being allowed to go home).

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:37 am 
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I would strike the whole idea of "they won't allow that" from your thought process. Your body, your baby, they're there to help you learn the basics of childcare - how to get a good breastfeeding latch, how to change a diaper and bathe a baby, etc. not to police you. Hospitals policies govern *their* behavior, not yours. I only nursed in bed in the hospital (I don't know that there was anywhere else to sit anyway) and if they had told me to nurse somewhere else I would've told them to fork off. From what you've mentioned, it sounds like the hospital you're birthing in is pretty mother-friendly, so I wouldn't stress myself out thinking about what they might and might not "allow." That being said, figuring out latch can be complicated and I didn't think it was that easy to figure it out lying down - I really had to wait until Malka knew what she was doing without my help before I could nurse lying down which took a few weeks. If you have a breastfeeding pillow (the brest friend is the best I think), bring it with you to the hospital so it can help you out a little.

And I actually thought the football hold was pretty easy (they showed me in the hospital how to do it), but it wasn't ever really necessary for me to use anything but cross-cradle, side-lying, and laid back nursing.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:37 am 
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Yes, the nurses I had at our hospital was the same. They scared me and kept drilling in "Never sleep with the baby" so then I fell asleep holding her and woke up racked with guilt. The MDs at the children's hospital told me of the "horrific crush injuries" they had seen from co-sleeping.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:42 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Yes, the nurses I had at our hospital was the same. They scared me and kept drilling in "Never sleep with the baby" so then I fell asleep holding her and woke up racked with guilt. The MDs at the children's hospital told me of the "horrific crush injuries" they had seen from co-sleeping.


We got a similar lecture from the baby nurses and we just ignored it and coslept to the level we were comfortable with in the hospital anyway. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping overnight in the hospital myself because I was still not totally mobile from the epidural and IV fluids, but my husband slept with her for at least part of the night both nights and I took naps with her during the day. Nobody said anything when they actually saw us doing it. As with everything else medical, I felt like their job was to give advice and our job was to decide whether or not to take it.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:51 am 
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Ariann wrote:
We got a similar lecture from the baby nurses and we just ignored it and coslept to the level we were comfortable with in the hospital anyway. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping overnight in the hospital myself because I was still not totally mobile from the epidural and IV fluids, but my husband slept with her for at least part of the night both nights and I took naps with her during the day. Nobody said anything when they actually saw us doing it. As with everything else medical, I felt like their job was to give advice and our job was to decide whether or not to take it.

I think it's great that you were able to do that, but not everyone has the same experience. I laid down in bed with him once because I was in so much pain, but the nurse who came in soon after told me that I wasn't allowed to do that, and they would have to take my baby to the nursery if they found me in bed with him (yes, really). I wanted to check myself out and go home because it was such an awful experience, but I am poor and was on state-provided maternity care, and it was made clear early on that if I didn't follow medical recommendations, the state could deny my coverage and I would be stuck with a bill I clearly couldn't pay. It's why I agreed to be induced at 41 weeks, when I really didn't want to be. Not everyone is in the same situation and has the same options, and I think it's important to remember that. Although I did kick out the nurse who basically said that because my baby was crying and nursing non-stop he was obviously hungry and I wasn't satisfying him, so if I didn't give him formula I wasn't doing what was best for him (bisque).

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:08 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Yes, the nurses I had at our hospital was the same. They scared me and kept drilling in "Never sleep with the baby" so then I fell asleep holding her and woke up racked with guilt. The MDs at the children's hospital told me of the "horrific crush injuries" they had seen from co-sleeping.

The nurses at my place said a baby had fallen out of the hospital bed once and "it wasn't good." They didn't seem to care about when I got home (unofficially the midwives all said it was fine, but officially they had to give me a lecture and tell me not to, you know, drink gin in bed and fall asleep next to the baby all shitfaced).

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:09 pm 
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poopiebitch that is awful :-(
im sorry you went through that.

we will see how it goes for us. the hospital we are going to does indeed have a great mother friendly reputation and is supposed to be like the best maternity ward/birthing center in the region so I am hopeful we will have a good experience. I know several people who have given birth there recently and they all rave about how awesome the nursing were but I know they also were not necessarily natural/hippie crunchy type people like me.

im hoping it they will be very pro-natural child birth if im able to go that route (fingers crossed!)

and I also think the football hold is very awkward even with the plastic baby I was like "this just feel weird!"

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:11 pm 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
(unofficially the midwives all said it was fine, but officially they had to give me a lecture and tell me not to, you know, drink gin in bed and fall asleep next to the baby all shitfaced).


this is my favorite part of childbirth/newborn books.

the part where they are like "drugs and alcohol and newborns don't mix!" and go on how you shouldn't be smoking crack and doing shots with your baby in the bed.

the sad thing is some people need to be told that

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:46 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
Ariann wrote:
We got a similar lecture from the baby nurses and we just ignored it and coslept to the level we were comfortable with in the hospital anyway. I wasn't comfortable cosleeping overnight in the hospital myself because I was still not totally mobile from the epidural and IV fluids, but my husband slept with her for at least part of the night both nights and I took naps with her during the day. Nobody said anything when they actually saw us doing it. As with everything else medical, I felt like their job was to give advice and our job was to decide whether or not to take it.

I think it's great that you were able to do that, but not everyone has the same experience. I laid down in bed with him once because I was in so much pain, but the nurse who came in soon after told me that I wasn't allowed to do that, and they would have to take my baby to the nursery if they found me in bed with him (yes, really). I wanted to check myself out and go home because it was such an awful experience, but I am poor and was on state-provided maternity care, and it was made clear early on that if I didn't follow medical recommendations, the state could deny my coverage and I would be stuck with a bill I clearly couldn't pay. It's why I agreed to be induced at 41 weeks, when I really didn't want to be. Not everyone is in the same situation and has the same options, and I think it's important to remember that. Although I did kick out the nurse who basically said that because my baby was crying and nursing non-stop he was obviously hungry and I wasn't satisfying him, so if I didn't give him formula I wasn't doing what was best for him (bisque).



ahhh sorry poopiebitch. And for real, I had the same experience with being told I wasn't allowed to sleep with the baby and having more than one nurse tell me I needed to supplement, and that was at a private hospital with private insurance that my boss pays $800 a month for!! just shitty hospitals with bad practices in general I guess.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:20 pm 
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What a horrible experience, poopie. It astounds me how unsupportive some hospitals are of bfeeding. I really appreciate our hospital now. I lay with a baby in bed many times with the twins, and the nurses never said a thing.

Also, for those who need a c section, the football hold is great. No pressure on your incision that way. And it's the only way to tandem nurse with twins that I've ever mastered (but I'm no expert on that at all since H stopped nursing around 3 weeks, so I exclusively pump for him).


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:43 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
Ariann wrote:
As with everything else medical, I felt like their job was to give advice and our job was to decide whether or not to take it.

I think it's great that you were able to do that, but not everyone has the same experience. I laid down in bed with him once because I was in so much pain, but the nurse who came in soon after told me that I wasn't allowed to do that, and they would have to take my baby to the nursery if they found me in bed with him (yes, really). I wanted to check myself out and go home because it was such an awful experience, but I am poor and was on state-provided maternity care, and it was made clear early on that if I didn't follow medical recommendations, the state could deny my coverage and I would be stuck with a bill I clearly couldn't pay. It's why I agreed to be induced at 41 weeks, when I really didn't want to be. Not everyone is in the same situation and has the same options, and I think it's important to remember that.


Poopie, I am so sorry you had such a bad experience.

When L was in the hospital for jaundice and I wanted to leave against medical advice, because I was confident that she didn't need to be under the UV lights, the hospital threatened to call DCF (child protection) on me. And the problem is that if a doctor or hospital calls, DCF takes it very seriously and also once a file is opened on you, it never goes away. Its not as simple as just being able to pick and choose what medical services you want to accept.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:56 pm 
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I think if they're claiming they're going to call DCF you're certainly in a bad place (although, seriously, that seems like insane overkill for a mild case of jaundice and I might have taken the bluff and left anyway), but I think even in bad situations we tend to believe medical personnel are going to do something detrimental to us that they can't actually do (they can call DCF, but they can't make it so your insurance doesn't pay for your treatment except by messing up billing - which nurses and doctors are not actually responsible for anyway and which can be fixed, and they certainly cannot do things which violate your rights as a parent without legal recourse). And it's really unfair because people are really abused and made to believe they can't make decisions that they are perfectly within their legal rights to make. I've heard now several stories of medical personnel claiming that insurance won't cover things if you leave AMA or don't consent to things and for every single case I've heard so far, it was a complete and utter lie (and it doesn't even begin to make sense that it could be true!). Although if it's state-provided they may have other ways of twisting your arm, I kind of doubt it - having state-sponsored insurance doesn't actually remove your right to consent or non-consent.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:06 pm 
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when my husband was researching the eye goo thing he said he read something that supposedly in i think Texas if you try to refuse the eye goo they tell you they will call social services on you but it's apparently an empty threat and they dont do it.

i had another appt today and i asked them who would be on duty for labor and delivery the week of my due date and the week after.
both weeks are female drs. i dont know wht my issue is with male OBs but this made me really happy. i have this mental block against male OBs.

they are also making me do ANOTHER u/s next week.
ive refused an internal exam the past two weeks. i dont really see the point of it yet.

i requested to see the Dr that is on duty the week of my due date for my appt next week so i can ditch the crazy dude ive been seeing who keeps telling me im too small :-P
let's see what new Dr says.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:34 pm 
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I also was told I couldn't sleep with baby when they found Charlie in bed with me in the middle of the night. I don't know what they would have done if I'd said peas off, but there you go.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:59 am 
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Maybe this belongs in the Ventilation Station, but it's not about my kids....

I told one of my friends I was pregnant -- "another boy!" is how I announced the gender -- and she said she was sorry I wasn't having a girl.

I also mentioned I've been drinking a lot of coffee because it's the only thing that stops me from having a sour stomach and she sent me two links about limiting caffeine consumption. I have 2 cups a day -- (usually I only have a few cups a week and drink white tea instead, but tea has been making me feel ill lately) -- that's a lot for me, but not over the top or anything.

Well, I guess I learned my lesson and I should just keep my mouth shut about being pregnant (I've literally only told a handful of people, no one in our families know). UGH!!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 10:08 am 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
I told one of my friends I was pregnant -- "another boy!" is how I announced the gender -- and she said she was sorry I wasn't having a girl.

What the actual fork.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 10:29 am 
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I would've just said "I'm sorry I've displeased you" because I'm a dick.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 10:59 am 
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<3 Thanks, guys. I was fuming for a bit. I told her we were going for quantity rather than gender.

Fee, I'm using your line the next time someone says they're sorry I'm not having a girl because I'm sure *someone* else will say it after I pop (I say after I pop because I sure as hell am not telling anyone else that I'm pregnant). ;D

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 11:08 am 
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seriously???? i might have asked the person if they *wanted* a girl and then based my response off their answer. like "oh sorry you are disappointed but i bet another healthy boy will be awesome" but if someone was having another boy and was thrilled about it i would never in a million years think to rain on their parade!!!!

as far as coffee goes i think based on what ive read they tell people to limit it in their first trimester because it may or may not have an increased risk of miscarriage but after that it seems like 2 cups a day is within the limit.
it's all about knowing your own body!

i stopped cold turkey early on because 1. i wanted to because i was a caffeine fiend and 2. because just the thought of drinking coffee was enough to make me want to projectile vomit at that point.

i started drinking it again late in my 2nd trimester CAUSE I LOVE COFFEE but i try and keep my amount pretty low like a small cup every other day or every 2 days only because i become wicked addicted wicked fast. and also it doesnt help with my acid reflux.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 12:44 pm 
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I'm actually really glad I didn't cut back on my coffee consumption more than I did (I drank one cup a day on average) because I was reading that caffeine is less likely to be a problem while breastfeeding if the mother consumed caffeine while pregnant. (I cannot make it through the day without at least 1.5 cups of full caf coffee and I'm bfeeding the twins.)


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 2:51 pm 
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Heh. I drank so much coffee during my pregnancy with M. So much. Sometimes if he finds an empty coffee cup, he sort of cuddles it... I assume because it makes him think of me.

Crabby, people said so much rude shiitake to me when I was pregnant with M. In my case, I WAS bummed to be having a second boy-- but it sure as shiitake didn't make me feel any better to have people say stupid things like that to me. Nobody likes other people making presumptions about their pretty personal feelings, whether they're accurate or not!

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