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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 10:28 am 
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Kelly wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
Well, it keeps getting worse, so that isn't a good sign.


Try to stay positive! I bleed for like a month when I was pregnant for Silas. I was convinced I was losing him and it was horrendous. Not just brown blood, but tons of bright red blood. At some point in my hysteria, I convinced myself that what is meant to happen will happen and all I could control was my stress level so I did my absolute best to be positive about it. It really sucks just waiting and worrying and at least actively trying to minimize the worrying felt like I was doing something.
This is good advice. I had a lot of spotting in the first trimester with my youngest, and I'd had a miscarriage earlier that year, so I was super freaked out. But ultimately I realized that vibrating with anxiety 24/7 wasn't going to do me, the proto-baby, or the other people around me any good, and tried to just calm down. Easier said than done, I know, but worth making the effort, if only for the sake of your blood pressure! In the end, everything turned out fine, which I hope will be the outcome for you as well. Sending love and sticky thoughts!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 7:49 pm 
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Thanks everyone! I think the worst part is the not knowing - being in limbo for a few days having your moods zip up and down based on what you find on a piece of toilet paper. I have no idea what is going on, and am trying to avoid getting a sonogram for viability until I can figure out how to get it covered by my crappy insurance. I see the HB midwife tomorrow so hopefully I can figure out a solution with her.

I had moxibustion this morning (my acupuncturist came in at 7 am to see me because her book was so full otherwise) and it felt great. And I got to hang out with RandiJM, which was beyond awesome and let me focus on something superfun and have an awesome person love on Leela. And now my awesome husband has taken L out so I can get some extra bedrest. With L I did 2 weeks of bedrest, which is pretty much impossible now.

I am just trying to chill and realize that whatever happens, I am a pretty happy camper, and its just going to be what it is.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 3:05 pm 
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I am rather disappointed with my midwife. I called to ask what to do about the spotting, and she didn't call me back - just had the receptionist relay the message that she doesn't see patients until 10 weeks so she isn't my midwife for this pregnancy, and if I feel like I want to get things checked out, to make an appointment with the OB she practices with. So I am going to get a viability sono from him on Friday. I am just a bit sad that she couldn't even take the time to talk to me on the phone and the people at the receptionist desk were very businesslike and not very kind. I think that if you work with pregnant women, it would be nice to just realize that a potential miscarriage can be really scary for your patient - I don't know what this is and a little support from my medical care provider would be nice.

In contrast, the home birth midwife I was talking to called me back after I texted her, checked in with me a few times and has just gone out of her way to be really kind. Even though I am not her client. She came to visit today and gave me a nice run down of my options and it was very helpful.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 3:32 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
Well, it keeps getting worse, so that isn't a good sign.


Try to stay positive! I bleed for like a month when I was pregnant for Silas. I was convinced I was losing him and it was horrendous. Not just brown blood, but tons of bright red blood. At some point in my hysteria, I convinced myself that what is meant to happen will happen and all I could control was my stress level so I did my absolute best to be positive about it. It really sucks just waiting and worrying and at least actively trying to minimize the worrying felt like I was doing something.
This is good advice. I had a lot of spotting in the first trimester with my youngest, and I'd had a miscarriage earlier that year, so I was super freaked out. But ultimately I realized that vibrating with anxiety 24/7 wasn't going to do me, the proto-baby, or the other people around me any good, and tried to just calm down. Easier said than done, I know, but worth making the effort, if only for the sake of your blood pressure! In the end, everything turned out fine, which I hope will be the outcome for you as well. Sending love and sticky thoughts!

Great advice. Just wanted to chime in as someone else who had a lot of spotting and bleeding with my first pregnancy from week 4 until week 9 and had a healthy baby. At one point there was enough blood that I was positive I was miscarrying, and drowned my sorrows with pizza and beer (oops). It was really interesting-- during an ultrasound around 8 weeks, the tech could actually even see where I was bleeding. Amazing.

Anyway, more good thoughts and sticky vibes coming your way.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:16 pm 
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I'm glad you're getting a scan, T. I'm thinking of you and I keep popping in for updates.

Not that it's especially relevant, because every pregnancy and every uterus is different, it with both of my miscarriages the blood was very red and very heavy right away, accompanied by cramps that felt like early labor. There was no mistaking what was going on.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:24 pm 
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My midwife with Freya said too that *generally*, brown blood is less troublesome that anything more reddish. Also, bleeding around the time you would've gotten your next period is pretty common, so maybe that's part of what's going on?

Good on B for giving you some down time!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:43 pm 
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Thanks Mitten, helbury and nnej! Its a smear of red blood whenever I wipe - not a ton, but it is bright red. I had no idea about the period thing, how interesting! And helbury, wowzers that sounds so stressful! I've had this going on for three days and its so anxiety provoking. I don't think I could manage 5 weeks! And thanks for all the stories about healthy pregnancies that continued despite spotting, Kelly and Desdemona! I realized that I have gotten nothing but positive support and kindness from sharing this pregnancy, even if it was early, and I am grateful for that. I think the feeling of shame at having told people early is from the taboo that you shouldn't bother people with your negative stuff and also from the feeling like I failed somehow (which is completely irrational but there you have it).

I am just kind of surprised by the lack of support from my midwife and other medical professionals for early losses or problems in early pregnancy, where you get treated like there isn't anything any one can do and its too early to really care anyway (that was my experience anyway). I remember reading other people's accounts of being treated insensitively and thinking how horrible it was that medical and birth professionals wouldn't know to be kind when faced with someone who was frightened and worried, even if the pregnancy is really early. I often think about Rabidchild and her losses and how callously she was treated at the ER, and I miss her and hope she is well. Tina has been my midwife for 2.5 years and I would have thought that she could at least pick up the phone and run through the options with me just to make me feel informed about the situation, even if there isn't much I could do either way.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 6:06 pm 
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I have been thinking about you Tofulish and checking in to see how you are doing. I'm glad you are going to be able to get a scan to help see what is going on. I'm sorry your midwife has let you down like that :(


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 7:34 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Thanks Mitten, helbury and nnej! Its a smear of red blood whenever I wipe - not a ton, but it is bright red. I had no idea about the period thing, how interesting! And helbury, wowzers that sounds so stressful! I've had this going on for three days and its so anxiety provoking. I don't think I could manage 5 weeks! And thanks for all the stories about healthy pregnancies that continued despite spotting, Kelly and Desdemona! I realized that I have gotten nothing but positive support and kindness from sharing this pregnancy, even if it was early, and I am grateful for that. I think the feeling of shame at having told people early is from the taboo that you shouldn't bother people with your negative stuff and also from the feeling like I failed somehow (which is completely irrational but there you have it).

I am just kind of surprised by the lack of support from my midwife and other medical professionals for early losses or problems in early pregnancy, where you get treated like there isn't anything any one can do and its too early to really care anyway (that was my experience anyway). I remember reading other people's accounts of being treated insensitively and thinking how horrible it was that medical and birth professionals wouldn't know to be kind when faced with someone who was frightened and worried, even if the pregnancy is really early. I often think about Rabidchild and her losses and how callously she was treated at the ER, and I miss her and hope she is well. Tina has been my midwife for 2.5 years and I would have thought that she could at least pick up the phone and run through the options with me just to make me feel informed about the situation, even if there isn't much I could do either way.



That sounds strange given that this midwife has been really good and supportive in the past. Is it possible that the receptionist gave a mistaken or miscommunicated message?

Also, <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 and you know where to find me if you need to talk or anything.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 7:58 pm 
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Sorry about the midwife. I would expect a phone call, too. Hopefully it is a miscommunication with the receptionist. I too had spotting in a pregnancy to led to healthy baby. It was really stressful everytime I went to the bathroom to see that pink on the tissue for several days. I think getting a scan will help just to know either way.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 9:13 pm 
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Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, Tofulish! I know how hard it is when everything is out of your control and all you can do is wait. I hope it sticks for you!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2013 10:11 pm 
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Thank you for all the kind thoughts and for the stories! It makes me feel a lot more hopeful! <3

Butternut wrote:
Sorry about the midwife. I would expect a phone call, too. Hopefully it is a miscommunication with the receptionist.


No I could tell that she was standing next to the receptionist and telling her what to say. She hasn't ever been warm and fuzzy, and she has a ton of patients, but it would have just been really reassuring to be told - look it could be a bunch of things, some of them serious some of them not, and here is our plan of action. As opposed to - well I don't see patients until 10 weeks and you're at 7 so I'm not your midwife for another 2 weeks (when I have my first scheduled visit with her), so you're on your own.

Dr Google says that the bleeding can be from a variety of sources including cervix bruising, bladder infections etc so it wouldn't have to be a miscarriage or a molar pregnancy or an ectopic pregnancy, etc. It would just be nice to hear that from a medical professional along with a plan of action. Either way, I am just going to hold tight till Friday and hope that the bleeding stops.

I'm trying to get my insurance to approve an out-of-network exemption for the home birth midwife, who is seriously the most amazing person. She comes to your home for all your visits, she is an herbologist who makes her own tinctures etc and she is just so incredibly kind and supportive as well as being very on top of the medical issues at hand and very respectful of different people's choices. I was so comfortable with her birth philosophy and every answer she gave us. She gave birth to her own kiddos in a birthing teepee they built in their yard, which is this magical sanctuary space. I am a bit in love with her and I hope I get a chance to work with her, because she is amazing.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:48 am 
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Well now I am bleeding a lot heavier and its hard to see how this could still be a viable pregnancy. I'm noticing my tummy deflating and I am peeing a lot, probably to get rid of some of the first trimester bloat. And my milk supply is back up, which Leela is happy about. But no cramping yet, so there is that.

I think its also just so hard because no one gives you good information about what to expect. I don't really want to post this in the loss thread, because I am more looking for information other than Dr. Google about what to expect. My blighted ovum m/c was really light, like a period without a ton of cramping (and it started off like this - a bit of bleeding, then the MD confirmed that my HCG levels were sinking and then it was like my period started). But I had a chemical termination at 12 weeks years ago, and I remember that being quite painful - with rather significant cramps and my MD for that had given me medication for pain relief that helped a lot.

So I guess I am wondering (1) could you really bleed for 4 days and still be pregnant (2) what is this m/c going to be like and (3) what should I ask the MD for on Friday if I am having an m/c?

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 8:45 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Well now I am bleeding a lot heavier and its hard to see how this could still be a viable pregnancy. I'm noticing my tummy deflating and I am peeing a lot, probably to get rid of some of the first trimester bloat. And my milk supply is back up, which Leela is happy about. But no cramping yet, so there is that.

I think its also just so hard because no one gives you good information about what to expect. I don't really want to post this in the loss thread, because I am more looking for information other than Dr. Google about what to expect. My blighted ovum m/c was really light, like a period without a ton of cramping (and it started off like this - a bit of bleeding, then the MD confirmed that my HCG levels were sinking and then it was like my period started). But I had a chemical termination at 12 weeks years ago, and I remember that being quite painful - with rather significant cramps and my MD for that had given me medication for pain relief that helped a lot.

So I guess I am wondering (1) could you really bleed for 4 days and still be pregnant (2) what is this m/c going to be like and (3) what should I ask the MD for on Friday if I am having an m/c?
Sweetie, I just saw this and I think you should go to the ER rather than arse around waiting for someone to deign to see you. Is there someone who can drive you and/or look after Leela?

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 9:02 am 
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Awww! Thanks for checking in! I am fine. I have no cramping and no fever or other signs of a problem, and if I see any, I will be the first to go get help. I am going to see if the MD can see me a bit early, but I am underinsured (I pay $500 a month for an individual policy that covers almost nothing and has a $5000 deductible) and can't afford an ER bill.

Even the U/S isn't going to be covered because its apparently not "prenatal care" (which would be covered thanks to the ACA and NJ law) because its too early so there is $350 plus the MD visit plus the cost of any follow up or D&C that maybe needed. And then probably pregnancy tests for a week or so to monitor hcg levels going back to 0 at $50 a pop. So yeah, funtimes made more fun by financial woes. I am still annoyed by the fact that I had to pay $500 to get antibiotics for bronchitis, which really was just a no-brainer. Medicine in the US is the worst. And according to my insurance broker, the ACA isn't going to bring major changes or a price drop for NJ residents, bc our policies mandate most of what the ACA does (except pediatric vision and dental care) and so the prices should stay constant, except that there will now be a federal subsidy for those making up to 4x the poverty level. So yeah.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 9:17 am 
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I am going to the MD. Think cheap thoughts for me, please :)

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 9:26 am 
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I'm so sorry to hear this Tofulish. I hope the MD can give you some good news? I'll be thinking of you.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 9:48 am 
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Can the MD check your HCG levels?


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:09 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
I am going to the MD. Think cheap thoughts for me, please :)
The very best (and cheapest) thoughts are coming your way; keep us updated, please! XOXO

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:19 am 
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Thinking of you Tlish!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:54 am 
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Thinking of you Tofulish - thinking good thoughts!!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:08 am 
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I am having a miscarriage. So at least we have some resolution. And I am just relieved that I know one way or the other. I don't really feel any grief or sadness just a bit of regret. As Panda says "onwards!"

Thank you all so much for the support. Being supported and listened to really helped me process this whole thing and I am very grateful to all of you.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:13 am 
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I'm so sorry, tofulish. I'm glad you have resolution and are handling it well but we're all here if you need us <3

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:37 am 
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I am very sorry you have to go through this, Tofulish. Good thoughts to you and your family.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:20 pm 
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im so sorry Tlish. :-(
hugs to you

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