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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:00 am 
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I announced at our monthly meeting - my boss already knew, so I just told her that I wanted to announce it that day and at the end of the meeting she gave me a minute to do so. It was nothing fancy, I just said I wanted to let everybody know I was expecting another little boy in mid-May. My workplace is a very relaxed, friendly atmosphere. If we hadn't had a meeting I probably would have just sent out an email.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:27 am 
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I had a job in a betting shop when I was pregnant with Beety and waited as long as I could before telling the regional manager. When I told him, he said, "is that supposed to be a good thing?" Man, that guy had no social skills. The rest of us had a good laugh over the retelling of that line, though.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:27 am 
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Announcing it to the families was fun! They're not too thrilled though that we won't tell them the sex until the baby is born.

mollyjade wrote:
People who shared at work recently mind telling how you did it? I'm doing this when I return to work in the New Year, and not really looking forward to it.

I have to do this next week, which I don't want to do, but have to since A) I'm already showing and B) shortbus needs to work out his work schedule now for the rest of 2014, so we need to get our schedules set up in a way where we won't need day care (can't wait to work all weekend, every weekend! oh the sacrifices we make, right?). My plan is to talk to my boss in private and let him know and then work out a schedule with him. I don't know how I'll tell my other colleagues. Maybe just wait for it to get around by word of mouth?


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 9:13 am 
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mollyjade wrote:
People who shared at work recently mind telling how you did it? I'm doing this when I return to work in the New Year, and not really looking forward to it.

I brought in treats.. Cupcakes, cookies, etc... And everything was frosted in pink, blue and green, then I let people figure it out on their own from there! It was very low pressure.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:40 am 
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The first time I was in grad school, and the only person I told was my advisor who pretty much told me "you'll have to drop out of school!" Thanks lady.

The second time, I waited to tell my boss until I was 24 weeks or something. He told HR but no one else, and then one day when I was like 7 months a coworker of mine walked up to me in the cubicle farm and shouted OH MY GOD YOURE PREGNANT. And then everyone knew! Hilarious.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:41 pm 
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bastah wrote:
Announcing it to the families was fun! They're not too thrilled though that we won't tell them the sex until the baby is born.

mollyjade wrote:
People who shared at work recently mind telling how you did it? I'm doing this when I return to work in the New Year, and not really looking forward to it.

I have to do this next week, which I don't want to do, but have to since A) I'm already showing and B) shortbus needs to work out his work schedule now for the rest of 2014, so we need to get our schedules set up in a way where we won't need day care (can't wait to work all weekend, every weekend! oh the sacrifices we make, right?). My plan is to talk to my boss in private and let him know and then work out a schedule with him. I don't know how I'll tell my other colleagues. Maybe just wait for it to get around by word of mouth?

That's how I did it. Told my manager, as well as a friend/coworker who I saw outside of work. Then I just let everyone else figure it out in their own time. Once a few people realized, then everyone knew. I don't like making big announcements. (We also work opposites. My partner's 8-5 every weekday, and I work 3 evenings and the weekends. Those sacrifices.)

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:51 pm 
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i told HR and my supervisor and let them tell all the managers as i knew they all talk about everyone behind their backs.
i told the people i was friendly with and let everyone else figure it out on their own

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:17 pm 
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So I'm starting to freak out a little bit about the move and arranging for birth stuff once I get to Italy. My previous birth was basically exactly what I wanted - a CNM-assisted home birth within a 5 minute drive of a good (but section-happy, with a rate above 40%) hospial with a level III nicu. It was, for me, the perfect blend of risk management and personal/environmental preferences.

Flash forward this time. I'm seeing a similar midwifery practice out in SoCal for the time being, but once we move - and while I previously thought we'd have a choice about whether we moved before or after the birth, unless I stay behind while my husband starts work in march (yuck), we basically have to have the baby in Naples. It looks like there's some home birth culture there, but it's unclear whether I could get a referral from the navy hospital (probably not, in my experience from the very home birth hostile Army hospital, which was surprising and weird considering that some of their CNM-trainees were actually interning with my midwifery practice and the LCs had both been clients!). We're not totally unable to pay out of pocket if we have to, but I've seen in a few places that home births "aren't allowed" in Navy housing, whatever the hell that means, and we won't know until we get there whether we'll be living in housing or not.

Anyway I know nothing about the Navy hospital there - it seems like anything remotely risky gets referred out to the local Italian hospital, which doesn't give me a lot of confidence about their ability to deal with a true emergency anyway, and I don't know anything about their policies. I am not against hospitals but I really don't want to spend labor refusing a lot of interventions (and I don't want EFM, a "routine" induction <42 weeks, an episiotomy, an enema, an unnecessary c-section, my kid to be put in the baby hive and given formula, sugar water, or heaven knows what else...or any of the other crazy shiitake that seems to happen in hospitals when babies are involved). I'm worried that in the event of a breech pregnancy they won't be able to refer me to anyone who does external versions or other options and will instead just recommend a c-section. (I know there's a small chance of this, but I was breech at 37 weeks and successfully pushed back into place and born shortly thereafter so it is looming large in the realm of possibilities in my mind, perhaps irrationally.) Obviously, I am aware that things do not go according to plan etc etc but for a second birth it seems like I'm a very good candidate for another vaginal birth but the conditions of my birth last time would have probably had most hospitals indicating a "necessary" c-section that clearly wasn't.

Anyway, I know that it'll probably be fine and I am probably being ridiculous, but I am just so filled with dread over the whole thing. I also am worrying about having someone stay with my daughter for potentially days (????) of hospital stay a couple months after I get into a new country - while I would hire someone to entertain her during labor anyway, I would prefer not to have to scramble to find on a moment's notice overnight care as soon as I get to a new country. ACK. Freaking out a little bit, especially based on my army hospital experiences...


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 6:50 pm 
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I've already told my immediate supervisor, who asked me not to tell anyone else until the new year. She didn't want my coworkers worrying about staffing issues over the holiday break. Which ruined my plan to announce on Facebook on my birthday and let it go from there. I really don't want to make a big production. But I'm missing so much work (about one appointment a week already), so I feel like I have to give some explanation for my absences.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:44 am 
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Sorry you're feeling stressed, annak. Of course I don't know much about Italy specifically, but my experience in Northern Europe anyway is that overall hospitals are much more mother-baby centered than in the US. Besides our own birth here in Denmark, I took a childbirth prep class for international families, and met people from Spain, Poland, the Netherlands, Sweden, and Germany, so I got to hear about how having a baby is in several other countries too. Again sadly I don't know anyone from Italy, but I think it is much less common in Europe to separate mother and baby--there's also a huge emphasis on teaching breastfeeding and encouraging skin-to-skin contact, even co-sleeping. So if you do wind up in a hospital--though I hope you don't--it probably won't be as bad as you fear.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 4:49 pm 
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Annak, sending you lots of good thoughts. I hope you find a solution that reassures you and gives you comfort. It sounds really challenging!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 9:03 pm 
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Yeah, that's so stressful! Good luck! I have a friend who's lived in Italy for about 5 years to run a winery with her husband, and they had a home birth 2 years ago. I'll ask her what she knows about home and hospital birth there! She's outside Florence.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 11:18 pm 
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Annak, my best friend just had a baby in northern Italy (she's a Maj in the AF). Want her contact info?

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:18 am 
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Thanks, all - I have some leads on fb groups and such for Naples groups and am planning to ask what people's experiences are once we're a little more public about my pregnancy (haven't really shouted it from the rooftops yet or told a lot of people). Basically if I have to have a hospital birth it will almost certainly be at the (American) on-base hospital, so probably their policies will be similar to the domestic US military hospitals. Of course the last time I tried that I was disgusted with them and fled, so that's auspicious!

If there are complications, an emergency transfer, or I become higher risk, I'll probably be transferred to a local Italian hospital. At that point I'm a lot less worried because, let's face it, at that point I'm going specifically FOR the interventions.

I have a couple leads on home birth, but it seems way less of a cultural phenomenon than in Northern Europe. I'm not set against hospitals but don't want to have to spend all of birth fighting over things. And I'm dreading dealing with some of the "gatekeepers" to that care - the overseas insurance people and possibly the housing office. Add it to my dread that we'll be forced to live on base - I know this is super primadonna-y but I really don't want to live in a third story apartment when I have to shlep a toddler and a newborn up and down stairs to get to it! I know some of you do that and I admire that tremendously, but just the prospect is making me grouchy! Hopefully I'll be able to find out a little more soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 8:43 pm 
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A close friend of mine just told me she's pregnant!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 8:53 pm 
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It's been ages since I posted on here, but.... no time like the present! I'm VERY newly pregnant, 5 weeks, and so far I've only told immediate family. I'm waiting until my doctors appt to tell the rest of my friends. I immedialey went out and got the Everything Vegan Pregnancy book from the library, as well as a vegan pregnancy cookbook. This is my first, and I'm excited and freaked out!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 9:09 pm 
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Annak, I'm crossing all my fingers for you that you uncover some reassuring information soon. I think just the move and not knowing what your housing situation will be and all of that would cause plenty of anxiety without the added complication of the birth (which will hopefully be complication-free itself!).


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:19 am 
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Change is constant wrote:
It's been ages since I posted on here, but.... no time like the present! I'm VERY newly pregnant, 5 weeks, and so far I've only told immediate family. I'm waiting until my doctors appt to tell the rest of my friends. I immedialey went out and got the Everything Vegan Pregnancy book from the library, as well as a vegan pregnancy cookbook. This is my first, and I'm excited and freaked out!

Hey, congratulations!! You are in for a wild and wonderful ride! I'm so excited for you!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 9:29 am 
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Change is constant wrote:
It's been ages since I posted on here, but.... no time like the present! I'm VERY newly pregnant, 5 weeks, and so far I've only told immediate family. I'm waiting until my doctors appt to tell the rest of my friends. I immedialey went out and got the Everything Vegan Pregnancy book from the library, as well as a vegan pregnancy cookbook. This is my first, and I'm excited and freaked out!


Congratulations! I think "excited and freaked out" describes it perfectly!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 10:31 am 
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Yay congrats!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:52 pm 
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Congrats Change is Constant!

We went shopping for maternity clothes today, and I'm not sure if I did it right. I bought stuff that fits currently (I also put on a 7 month belly and everything fits with that too). Should I have bought larger sizes? The stretchy part will fit over a belly, but do I need to worry about my butt and thighs growing dramatically? So far I think only my belly has grown (I personally think I look way more pregnant than I am and I'm embarrassed by it). Also, maternity clothes are soooooooo freaking comfortable. I got one of those bands that holds up pre-maternity pants and lets you wear them unbuttoned. LOVE.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:11 pm 
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I wear jeans way more often during pregnancy, because maternity jeans are way more comfortable than regular. I think chances are you'll be fine. You don't want to buy your maternity stuff huge and you can't really predict where/if you'll gain extra weight.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 8:05 pm 
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You are supposed to buy stuff that fits you now because the stretchy stuff is supposed to stretch in places where most people stretch. You might still have to size up near the end, but for a lot of people they can make do with things they bought at the beginning of pregnancy. I also bought a handful of jersey and wrap dresses in normal, but bigger, sizes in months 4 and 5 because I was still trying to hide it a bit and figured I would then be able to wear normal clothes on the way back down.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:45 am 
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I outgrew some of my maternity tops with babies 1 and 3, but not with 2 -- it was the way I carried. That said, *most* maternity tops seemed to stretch and give me plenty of room.
I've never had any luck with maternity trousers. Even when I put on a ton of weight and looked like I was smuggling a torpedo, I couldn't get any to stay up and just had to make do with overly large pairs of regular jeans instead.
Oh -- wait -- there was this one pair that did stay up, but they didn't have the traditional maternity waistband -- they had a waistband like trousers for little kids that had the secret elastic and buttons.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 10:03 am 
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Demi waist is definitely my favorite. I get claustophobic in the full-panel pants! (But I have friends who feel the exact opposite, so it's all a matter of opinion.)

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