Post Punk Kitchen Forum

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I teach first grade - all boys with a variety of special needs. At circle time in the morning we do yoga or movement activities. A few weeks ago we were doing cross-overs, where you cross over to a different side of your body with your arms/legs. One of the boys said, "I'm a pretzel!" Then another one made a pouty face, batted his eyes, and said, "I'm a sexy pretzel!"

I'm not sure where that came from, except perhaps he'd seen ads for "sexy" Halloween costumes, but it sure made us laugh.

At lunch, when we were having a toast, GlueGun* said, "Here's to the aliens who created the universe."



(*Still having a hard time not calling him Optimus.)

"Yeah, Michael's, the craft supply store that sells things martha stewart makes"
-My 5 y/o sister when asked where she got her spin art.

I have no idea why she knows who martha stewart is.

I was looking something up in the books I used to write in when GlueGun was a little guy, and I found this conversation from when he was about 2 and a half—

(We were in the car and he said something about wanting to be a father one day.)

Me: What will you do when you're a papa?

GlueGun: Everything that papas do.

Me: What are some things that papas do?

GlueGun: They feed their children. They put their children in the bath tub.

Me: Are you going to... teach your children?

GlueGun: Yes.

(This went on for a bit.)

Me: Are you going to love them?

GlueGun: Yes.

Me: That's good. Because papas love their children very much. Just like I love you.

GlueGun: Do you know what I love?

Me: What?

GlueGun: Trees.

Me: Yeah, trees are good.

GlueGun: Papa, you're my tree.

that is one of the sweetest things i've ever read.

Yep, it's pretty great. Of course, little kids can be like Chance in Being There. They say all kinds of stuff that sounds profound to us, but we don't always know what's in their heads.

Today Livi told me she hates the commissary, because it doesn't sell toys; the post office, because it takes forever; and babies, because they're too loud. She told me she's so glad she doesn't have a baby brother or sister, which might explain the glare I got the other day for holding 4 week old Aurora.

GlueGun: You know what would be a silly name for a group?

Me: What?

GlueGun: D.O.O.F.S.

Me: What could that stand for?

GlueGun: Demolishing Order… of… Financial Savages!

This is far too relevant. I also can't wait 'til he's about 16.

Shane's 3 year old nephew, completely out of the blue, as we pulled into the parking lot at the movie theater (Alpha & Omega...yiffy for kids!):

"These movies are killing me! Too much violence."

Today at school several kindergarteners asked me if I'd had the baby yet (one girl asked "did the baby come out yet?"). Mind you, I am currently quite pregnant and looking it...

While I was changing Noelle's diaper today, she looked at me and said, "E.T., don't know!"

She's never seen E.T. before, so I found it interesting.

Torn between putting this in artwork or saying the darnedest things... Here are instructions from my niece for drawing a fancy heart:



Instructions are these:
1. Write your name.
2. Draw a heart.
3. Draw a line on the heart.
4. Glue it on a piece of paper.
5. Mark lines around the heart.
6. Pick a middle and put it in the middle.
If you have extra time do another project.

I was watching that autotune video of the Christine O'Donnell "I'm not a witch" ad on YouTube last week just for laughs (You know, this one.). Phoenix caught the part about "politicians who think spending, trading favors, and backroom deals are the ways to stay in office".

So all weekend, he was singing about "trading favors and bathroom deals".

Noelle (20 months) checked herself out in the mirror when I was bringing her to the bathroom for her bath and upon observing her naked state she waved to her reflection and said, "Hello, Body!" in a really loud, almost creepy way.

GlueGun, on getting out of bed to get another drink of water, stalling: "Random comment time. The random comment is... Peanut butter."

20 month old Henry, upon seeing our neighbor's Halloween display: "Those two big damn spiders!"

This is what my 9 your old had to say last night...

Yikes! What inspired that?

He had stayed home from school, throwing up, and felt better at dinnertime. He wanted sweet cereal, oranges, and soy yogurt. I suggested he take it easy and eat the noodle soup we had made. He didn't like my suggestion.

When my son was four he over heard a conversation I was having on the phone with a friend about my mother:

Me: My mom scares me.
JJ: Grandma is not scary except for at night when she becomes the legend of a vampire with PURPLE EYEEEES
Me: You watch too much Scooby Doo.

A couple of days ago, I left my house without telling anyone where I was going. When I came back in, my nephew (3 years old) asked where I was. I told him I went to get gas. My sister came in and asked where I had gone and my nephew responded "She went to get asparagus!"

Zola loves to say words she knows she shouldn't. She got frustrated with Felix about something, and I heard her yelling, "fork it! You stupid old man!"
For the record, I only call inanimate objects stupid when I get really frustrated with them. It's something I'm working on. And, yeah, she also gets "fork it" from me, too. I seriously don't know where she got old man from, though.

I have been helping out in this program called Kids Cook Monday. It's part of the Healthy Mondays program that started Meatless Monday. Monday Monday Monday

So anyway, there are some super cute kids and one of them had some awesome stuff to say the other day. He's about 9, i think.

First, we were rising off canned beans and I asked if he knew why we were doing this and he said "because beans are grown on a farm and they have manure on them"

Then he told me "we need to buy food that is made closer to New York because it keeps more nutrients in the food and then the trucks use less gas and don't hurt the earth" YEAH! way to go kid! you rule!