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 Post subject: Hitting Incident, what would you do?
PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2015 3:50 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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We had an incident at the kids' fitness classes yesterday where Beet hit a kid who was on his spot (they were all standing on dots). Beet has apologised to the kid and I was going to have Beet write a letter of apology and give him a little gift, and if Beet hits another classmate, I won't let him take the class anymore. I've also had several lengthy discussions with Beet about his behaviour and controlling his temper and not hurting others. (I didn't get a chance to talk to the mom after the class, as the instructors were still talking to me while the mom and her son left, but if I see her again, I'm going to tell her I'm sorry.)

Is there anything else I can do?

The instructors didn't seem upset about it said this happens every so often, but I am a hardcore pacifist and really disapprove of bullying and violence.* I also got bullied a lot when I was a kid and only one kid's parent(s) ever did anything about it: he kid wrote me an apology and give me a present -- I knew his mom and/or dad had a hand in it, but it was the only time anyone had ever apologised for being a jerk to me and it made me feel a lot better...plus, getting a present seemed so cool! (It was a 3D cube puzzle thing.)

* (Even though Vax's imaginary friend is Putin, which I think is hilarious)

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 Post subject: Re: Hitting Incident, what would you do?
PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2015 5:29 pm 
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Dislikes Rick Santorum
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hey Crabby good to "see" you again even if it's on a less than awesome subject.

i dont have any specific advice for you since BP is terrified of other children and runs the other way if they get close but in general i think everything you did is the right thing.

i agree if you see the mom again it would be good to apologize.

i know kids hitting each other is common but if someone's kid hit my kid i would be rip shiitake so i would expect the mom to deal with it in the proper way so if i was the other kid's mom i would be grateful to see you address it with your kid and have him apologize and then apologizing to the mom i think is good. it just shows you dont tolerate that behavior and have addressed it.
kids are gonna hit each other but it's up to the parents to address it and deal with it.

i absolutely hate seeing parents not deal with hitting like "oh they're kids" or "let them figure it out" or god forbid my least favorite "boys will be boys"

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 Post subject: Re: Hitting Incident, what would you do?
PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2015 6:29 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Ugh, sorry that happened to you guys! Leela went through a very very very long hitting phase. We literally couldn't go anywhere without her hitting a little boy because "I hate little boys."

So that was fun. Beetie is older, so it sounds like a one off, so I'd mention it and hope it never happens again. With L we had to implement an immediate consequence. You hit, you go straight home. No rewards, no fun things, nothing. Straight home.

It was miserable, but it worked after a few weeks. Consistency is key!

Nice to see you TCC! <3

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 Post subject: Re: Hitting Incident, what would you do?
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2015 11:14 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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LisaPunk wrote:
i absolutely hate seeing parents not deal with hitting like "oh they're kids" or "let them figure it out" or god forbid my least favorite "boys will be boys"

Yes. This! I get that he was frustrated because the kid stood on his dot, but he needs to learn violence is inexcusable and not that it is something you can get away with because you're a kid or a boy.

Beetie and Raygold and occasionally Vax all whoop each other every so often, I am going to be cracking down on that a lot more, too.
Tofulish, I am definitely going to draw a hard line.

Thanks for your input, girls!

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 Post subject: Re: Hitting Incident, what would you do?
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2015 12:09 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Ugh, sorry that happened to you guys! Leela went through a very very very long hitting phase. We literally couldn't go anywhere without her hitting a little boy because "I hate little boys."


Ok so like it's not funny when you're actually dealing with it but I burst out laughing because what a cute little misandrist.

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 Post subject: Re: Hitting Incident, what would you do?
PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2015 11:54 am 
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I think what you are planning is very good although I wouldn't remove him from class permanently if that was what you meant, just maybe go home right then from that class because I don't think you learn how to play nicely with other without actually playing with them right?

Giles is a pusher. He is so big that he can easily shove and push other children without even trying. I sometimes feel like I spend our whole outing saying, "Do NOT push" and dragging him away from the other kids, but we keep playing so that he might get the idea at some point. I do think it is a normal phase to hit or push and kids just need help in learning new behaviors. Giles can't talk so the whole apologize thing can't happen yet (of course I apologize). Someone suggested he "hug" the child he pushed but I feel that is more of a punishment for the other kid then it is for him. I certainly would not want to be hugged by someone who just pushed me out of line.


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