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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:59 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yes, I feel like my day has too many games of "Is it Poop or Is it Chocolate?" The game with no cash prizes and no winners. Also, its nearly always poop.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:18 pm 
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annak wrote:
Oh, sweetie, wait 'til you have a toddler.

Or an elderly cat, they're giving each other a run for the money these days.


oh god yes. D was always very well-behaved with her poop though, right through potty training but 4 elderly male cats have scarred me for life.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:35 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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V's latest thing is saying "Oh, poos." Just like that. Not "Oh!! poos!!" or "Aww, poos?!?!" or whatever. It's very deadpan. "Oh, poos." You don't really know what awaits you when you hear that but it is always bad. Either she's stumbled across some of the cat's shiitakeing outside the box, or she's crapped her pants, or in the five seconds you ran to get her new clothes she took a dump on the floor or WHATEVER, doesn't matter, it's gonna be bad when there are "oh, poos."


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 4:45 pm 
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Man, I am not sad those days are behind us.
Now, I just get to play the "here, smell this" game. It is gross. And usually involves some mug of something left in a room for weeks.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:24 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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annak wrote:
Oh, sweetie, wait 'til you have a toddler..

Yeah, baby poo is awesome. For real. No idea how formula poo is, but breastfed baby poo doesn't stink, it's just messy. Speaking of poop, Pillingshot (Raygold insists that's his new PPK nickname) pooped a teeny tiny turd on the table the other day. The kids were laughing about it like it was the best thing ever.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 3:01 pm 
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This week my child has categorically refused to take a nap. He is clearly not ready to stop napping, considering how cranky he is in the afternoons and the fact that he passed out on a chair at 6:30 the other night (which is very unlike him). But he will not nap. He's very clear on this. NO NAP. Is this forever? Please tell me it's not forever.

Meanwhile, my husband is taking a nap right now. He sleeps in every morning and naps frequently, then has the audacity to complain to me about being tired. Or worse yet, complain that poopieboy woke him up (!!!)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 3:09 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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I appreciate my husband being home and spending time with V. He's been working 'til 10 or 11 most nights (and leaving at 6:30 am, so it's not like he's going in late or anything) and it's nice that on the weekend he can spend some time with her.... but does this HAVE to mean completely messing up her nap schedule? It's 1pm and they're at the park. If it's anything like yesterday she'll fall asleep in his bike on the way home and that will be it for the day's napping. And then I'll spend the next few days getting her back on a normal schedule. *sigh*


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:07 pm 
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jogirl wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
In one of my parenting groups, there was a long thread about that and the consensus was:

Having just one is selfish - because who will they play with and they will be all alone caring for you when you get sick and die.
Having two is selfish - because what if one of them dies (see above).
Having three of them is selfish - because if one of them dies, then you only have two, which is selfish because see above.
So having four is the perfect number. Because you have spares.

Good God. I am one of four - now I am wondering which one of us is the spare. (I can't believe people actually think like this)


I just had this discussion today because I told a coworker that I was not planning on having any more babies -- she felt I could stop at two though because the spare would really be for my own benefit.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 10:38 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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Yesterday was one of THOSE days.

Things were actually fine in the morning, early rising, but V took her nap and I had my shower, etc. Aside from a minor incident involving a jar full of green glitter all over the white bathroom tile and an internal debate about how to explain the sparkly grout to the landlord, it's going pretty well. (Turns out, dumping more water on it flushed out the glitter pretty well)

Aaand then she woke up. Two must-do errands yesterday were a certain load of laundry and grocery shopping. Put in laundry and got ready for grocery shopping amid tantrum from toddler who didn't see why underwear was a requirement. Finally got her, kicking and screaming, out of the house, with underwear. She won't go in the carseat, and wants to go in the potty. Not the inside potty, the car potette. I finally get a bag on the thing and get her on there and she calms down and then up walks the plumber. The landlord emailed at 7am apparently, but I didn't see the email until hours later and wasn't expecting them at all, plus the house looks like a hurricane just passed through. So I'm like, uh, what the fizzle warning?? and after all this am not about to not do my grocery shopping. So, we go do that while I'm still irritated about the whole plumber showing up thing.

Miraculously, grocery shopping at the commissary goes OK, because I am meticulous about picking the right day. (no paydays, not when a holiday is approaching, no weekends, etc.)

We get home and I'm putting away groceries.

"Ohs?"
*gets V a snack cup of cereal and puts away produce*
"Butter poon?" (yeah you heard that right)
*gets V a spoonful of peanut butter and puts away frozen things*
"Appuhsauce?"
"FINE." *fills beaba squeeze with applesauce and puts away cereal*
"Moah ohs?"
*gets cereal back down, refills snack cup, attempts to--
"Moah butter?"
"Moah appuhsauce?" (she ended up sucking down 2 6 oz tubs of applesauce amid all this)
...
"Moah ohs?"

Finally she seems to be satisfied and wanders off. I pour myself some of the almond milk iced coffee they miraculously had (yess!! almost makes up for them being out of soy creamer, though not really) over ice and settle down, take two sips. It's very tast--

"Oh, poos."

So I run to deal with the fecal incident, and after flushing and washing my hands and cleaning up hazmat.. I come back into the living room and my iced latte has been spilled all over the carpet.

"Violet, why did you did that? You made a mess!"
"Ice cubes!"

So, out comes the carpet cleaner and V goes into time out.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:41 pm 
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Location: West LA
Dear mother-in-law,

Thank you so much for your letter. It's very perceptive of you to notice that I was angry during our last visit. Perhaps it was my saying, "I'm so angry I could scream," that tipped you off. For twelve years now, I've been coming to visit for various holidays and events. During every one of those visits, you and father-in-law have left your son and I alone in your suburban house with no car, no food and no way to get to a store to obtain food. (I do not consider walking 5 miles along the freeway a viable option.) I suppose there are some that would enjoy the challenge of trying to make a meal out of a jar of pepper jelly, 6 gallons of milk and a limp wrinkled carrot. I'm sorry to say that I am not one of those people. You should know that I am not one of those people because I have asked you repeatedly not to strand me at your house without food.

You may be wondering how all of this relates to our most recent visit, so let me spell it out for you. On Sunday at 11 a.m., I told you that your 11 month old grandson eats lunch at noon and that there was nothing in the house to feed him. You suggested we go out for lunch. An hour later, your son asked if you were ready to go. "Not yet," father-in-law said. He then proceeded to take a long shower. At 1 p.m., we finally made it to the car. Father-in-law then proceeded to go in and out of the house half-a-dozen times to gather items he had forgotten. Each time, he was sure to verbally abuse my husband (your son) for "making" him forget the item in question. At 1:30 p.m., we were finally on the road. By this time, your grandson was screaming for food and I was doing my best to appease him with cheerios. "Does the place we are going have food we can eat?" your son asked. "Yes," you answered.

At 2 p.m. we arrived at the mall and I started to unbuckle your grandson. "We're just here to run an errand," father-in-law said. "Wait in the car." Your grandson began to scream louder. "I promise we will feed you soon," I said. Clearly, he did not believe me. At this point, I threatened to kill you and father-in-law. I think any jury of my peers would acquit me. Still, I let you live because murder, after-all, is not vegan. 15 minutes later, we were back on the road. At 2:30 p.m. we finally arrived at the restaurant you selected. "There's a 15 minute wait," the hostess informed us. "I'm so angry I could scream," I informed you. Your grandson actually did scream.

Fortunately, the wait was a mere 10 minutes. At 2:40, we finally sat down for lunch. I took a look at the menu and it was chock full of vegan delights, just as you promised. Bacon and eggs, hold the egg and bacon. Fried chicken, hold the chicken. Chef salad, hold everything except the dry lettuce. With so many options, it was hard to choose. We settled on dry toast and fruit for the baby. I had ice water, which I slowly sipped while glaring at you and father-in-law. When the sumptuous spread finally arrive, your grandson promptly threw it on the floor. "He's angry that his lunch is late," your son informed you. "He doesn't seem angry to me," father-in-law said, digging in to his triple meat omelet.

From your letter, I gather it is not clear to you why I found the situation upsetting. If you still feel that way, I'm not sure that any amount of explaining on my part will make a difference. As for your suggestion that I "go with the flow," the next time we visit, I'm going to decline. I "went with the flow" when you refused to attend my wedding because it was not in a church. I've "gone with the flow" during years of holidays where the only item I can eat is over-cooked string beans. I've bitten my tongue while I listened to you repeatedly blame my husband for the failings of your other 3 children. When it comes to you preventing me from feeding my child, I'm putting my foot down. There will be no more "going with the flow." I can, however, think of a place where you can go.

Sincerely,

Your favorite daughter-in-law

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:56 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Oh my gosh, bcakes!! That sounds like an awful situation. It drives me NUTS when people aren't on time for things when a hungry toddler is involved, and that sounds so extremely inconsiderate of them. But this is a good reminder that I should pack lots, and lots, and LOTS of extra food for V when we fly out to a wedding soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 2:57 pm 
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bcakes, that is crazy awful. I am impressed that you have continued to visit these people for so long. It took me several years of hanging with my husband's parents (who live in suburbia near food and we have always had a car with us) to trust them enough to not bring my own food to every gathering, and they're not even jerks.

I had a GREAT morning with Malka (really), in which we walked into town (a mile plus each way), had breakfast at the good bagel place (I had delicious low-carb coffee :p, she had a bagel and cheeze and OJ), circled around to the playground, and walked home. The only problem was that after bagels she insisted that I carry her (while also needing to push the stroller) everywhere else we went. Also, I discovered that her OJ had a dead bug in it after it was half drunk and I don't know if that bug was original to the juice or flew in afterward, but the thought made me wretch either way. So she had a complete meltdown because I wouldn't let her finish her juice, I wound up having to stop at the deli to get her more juice (which she drank none of) and a "cookie" (Z Bar) which she ate all of (because she only ate maybe 1% of a bagel at the bagel place of course, which was just accidental as she tried to scrape the cream cheeze off the top and leave the bread). The walk home took several times longer than the walk there because I refused to carry her and every time she wanted to be carried instead of walking or riding I just sat down and cuddled her till she got over it.

This was all a grand plan to get her off that god damn Mickey Mouse we have to watch every freaking morning to avoid the 8am tantrum. So when we walk in the house, the first words out of her mouth are, "Mick Mouf!? Mick Mouf?!" She did not watch Mickey Mouse. Because he is dead to me.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 4:12 pm 
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We're not up to TV program obsession yet here, but your day reminds me of babysitting my neighbor's 2 year old during her Barney obsession phase. Oh the things I would do to avoid that stupid purple dinosaur.

Thanks for everyone's symphathy. Now that we know that my in-laws will be just as inconsiderate to our son as they are to us, we've vowed to get a rental car and a hotel room for all future visits.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 3:42 am 
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Bcakes, is your husband related to me?!! My parents have totally pulled that same stuff on us in the past.

So I had the flu for most of the last week (and was so busy with taking care of the house and kids and stuff, it didn't click that I was really ill until I was too weak to do yoga one day) and finally started to feel better and then last night, Beety barfed everywhere. Mr Crabby was still up and Beet called him in a panic (which I heard across the house and it woke me up) and Mr Crabby just thought, "Oh, I'll keep working on whatever I'm doing for a few minutes..." and then he hears Beet barfing. ALL OVER THE FLOOR. It took ages to clean up. It's the most annoying carpet in the entire house. Dark green, holds spills like crazy, traps things in it like crazy, anything not promptly and 100% thoroughly and gruellingly cleaned up will remain in it forever, etc. We had to scrape up the vomit, carpet shampoo the spot, and then scrub at it. Then I had to clean my carpet shampooer and then clean my tub (because I had to clean the carpet shampooer in the tub) and then do laundry in the middle of the night.

I'm sure Beet has what I have. He's not eating this morning. He had 1/4 of a slice of toast and jam and is lying on the floor. My stomach is not doing that great, but I can eat a little now. I didn't get much sleep last night, though, because after taking care of Beet, I had trouble falling back asleep and then Vax was fussy all night, too, since his sleep got all disturbed.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:57 pm 
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OMG BP must be going through a growth spurt. she;s been nursing like crazy which is fine but she has also been whining NON STOP.
even when she is nursing she is whining. OMG.
it's driving me crazy. the sound just cuts right through the center of hte brain.

uggghhhhhh

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:21 pm 
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This is not a vent, but a vent follow up. This morning Malka said to me, very seriously, "mick mouf? Just one more mick mouf, mommy, is ok." I said I didn't think Mickey Mouse was on right now. I don't think she believed me but she didn't ask again.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:20 am 
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Semen Strong
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Leela has been dry overnight for quite a while. So I have felt better about falling asleep next to her and then putting a diaper on after I wake up. So today she peed all over right after we both dozed off. Yay.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 10:46 am 
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Ariann wrote:

This was all a grand plan to get her off that god damn Mickey Mouse we have to watch every freaking morning to avoid the 8am tantrum. So when we walk in the house, the first words out of her mouth are, "Mick Mouf!? Mick Mouf?!" She did not watch Mickey Mouse. Because he is dead to me.


Miles is obsessed with Dinosaur Train and now asks to watch it all the time. He also knows that the remote turns the tv on so I suggest to you that you unplug your TV and when she asks to watch it show her you are trying your very best to turn it on and that the tv must be broke. :P

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:54 pm 
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JENNA wrote:
Ariann wrote:

This was all a grand plan to get her off that god damn Mickey Mouse we have to watch every freaking morning to avoid the 8am tantrum. So when we walk in the house, the first words out of her mouth are, "Mick Mouf!? Mick Mouf?!" She did not watch Mickey Mouse. Because he is dead to me.


Miles is obsessed with Dinosaur Train and now asks to watch it all the time. He also knows that the remote turns the tv on so I suggest to you that you unplug your TV and when she asks to watch it show her you are trying your very best to turn it on and that the tv must be broke. :P

Haha, I might have to take this advice - whenever Henry sees the remote he points at the TV and says "George?"


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:00 pm 
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Hahahaha! Malka used to be a George girl. Never got into Dinosaur Train, which is good, because I super hate Dinosaur Train. She was into Daniel Tiger for the longest time and that's still what she'll watch when we let her use the iPad (although his jingles don't work on her AT ALL). TV now is all about Mickey Mouse (we watch old cartoons on Netflix, all of the new computer drawn ones are intolerable) and Sesame Street ("Elmo Street"). I actually love Sesame Street, so if it were just that it'd be totally fine in my book.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:31 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Any advice for me re pee? Post-UTI, I feel like we are back to pre-potty training. She goes on the potty sometimes, when prompted, but a lot of the time, she'll just pee where she stands or even on the bed.

I am so frustrated by the peeing on the bed - because it was so nice to feel like we were done and not having to strip down the bed and wash everything over and over and over again.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:44 pm 
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Training underwear and plastic pants? They at least contain some mess.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:50 pm 
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So far I have convinced Sven that cartoons don't work on the TV, only on the iPad. I dread the day he figures it out. He already asks for PBS Kids waaaay too much.

My gripe (also pee-related!) is that Sven has started being obsessed with sticking his hand down the front of his diaper. Which is like, fine, go nuts kid, but then he flips his penis so it's pointing up and often pees out the top of the diaper. Half the time he falls asleep like this and if we don't "rearrange" everything and fix his diaper before we go to bed we all wake up in peas city.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 10:07 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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mandycoot wrote:
So far I have convinced Sven that cartoons don't work on the TV, only on the iPad. I dread the day he figures it out. He already asks for PBS Kids waaaay too much.
y.


You are waaaay smarter than me.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:21 pm 
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Tofulish, it is really common for setbacks. I think Shorty had them until she was 4. She had a lot of bladder infections and the like. And after each one we would have a bit of a set back.
The only advice I have is to ask every hour or so if she needs to go. It seems ridiculous, but really, that is what it took for Shorty.

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