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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:34 pm 
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whoa my goodness, so glad L is ok! I know how scared you must've been and offer hugs to both of you.
uuugh this probably belongs in that other thread we had going about the horrible turkey stuff at school, but - D's teacher just informed H that the day before Thanksgiving, the kids will be doing a little "show" which I'm guessing is going to be themed about Pilgrims etc. Do not want. But way, way, worse is that they are getting a big meal delivered from Boston Market (serisously!?!?!) for all the kids to feast on. I don't know if this makes me a bad parent or not but we are strongly leaning towards just keeping D home that day...we're going to be packing all that week for the move and that seems like a good excuse, right? because I don't even want to get into it with the teacher about how shitty this day sounds.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:45 pm 
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Audrey wrote:
whoa my goodness, so glad L is ok! I know how scared you must've been and offer hugs to both of you.
uuugh this probably belongs in that other thread we had going about the horrible turkey stuff at school, but - D's teacher just informed H that the day before Thanksgiving, the kids will be doing a little "show" which I'm guessing is going to be themed about Pilgrims etc. Do not want. But way, way, worse is that they are getting a big meal delivered from Boston Market (serisously!?!?!) for all the kids to feast on. I don't know if this makes me a bad parent or not but we are strongly leaning towards just keeping D home that day...we're going to be packing all that week for the move and that seems like a good excuse, right? because I don't even want to get into it with the teacher about how shitty this day sounds.


I would keep her home. I don't think that makes you a bad parent.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:51 pm 
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People keep their kids home for all sorts of reasons. I know parents who keep their kids home so they can go to the movies to see the new Thor and one kid because their parents don't celebrate Halloween, which is fine and valid. It won't make you a bad parent at all especially if it is something you don't believe in or want for your child.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:52 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Cuddles pushed Leela down a small flight of stairs, in his haste to get out of the door. She rolled down 6 concrete steps, banging her head on each one. I couldn't do anything and I couldn't stop screaming.

She seems fine thank goodness, but I feel really unhappy about the fact that Cuddles is always running her over or pushing her to get out of the door, and this time was the worst. I love my dog, but I would never forgive myself if L got hurt. I have tried training Cuddles to sit at the door and wait to be let out but no dice. I think I am going to try and just put him out first, but the problem is then I get crepe from people for having him off the leash.


How scary!

Did this happen at your house?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:48 pm 
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That sounds so scary Tofulish! I'm glad she's ok. I know how terrifying that must have been. Ada once tumbled down our stoop and was actually bouncing while rolling down the steps. I was horribly shaken up and crying uncontrollably for a good half hour. She barely had a scratch.

Audrey wrote:
whoa my goodness, so glad L is ok! I know how scared you must've been and offer hugs to both of you.
uuugh this probably belongs in that other thread we had going about the horrible turkey stuff at school, but - D's teacher just informed H that the day before Thanksgiving, the kids will be doing a little "show" which I'm guessing is going to be themed about Pilgrims etc. Do not want. But way, way, worse is that they are getting a big meal delivered from Boston Market (serisously!?!?!) for all the kids to feast on. I don't know if this makes me a bad parent or not but we are strongly leaning towards just keeping D home that day...we're going to be packing all that week for the move and that seems like a good excuse, right? because I don't even want to get into it with the teacher about how shitty this day sounds.

Yikes, I think it's perfectly valid to keep her home. Oh, and moving! Are you staying in the same neighborhood?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:16 pm 
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Thanks for the kind thoughts! It was terrifying for me and L, but Cuddles was nonplussed. It happened at our house - we have a half flight of stairs down from the basement to go into the garden, and then another half flight to go into the basement. She was standing at the landing waiting to go out, and was leaving him plenty of space, but he careened into her and just pushed her down, and yes, I totally saw her bounce. 70lbs of fast moving dog into 30lbs of toddler is a lot of kinetic energy. It was really fast, and she was so upset, but seems fine now, except for obviously talking about it nonstop - "Doggie Pushing! Doggie Pushing! No no no! No pushing you!" (she gets confused between me and you).

My husband had one of those "OMG we need to rehome the dog" moments, which was fun. Because, really, there are so many people out there clamoring for an 11 year old pitbull mix that pees in the house. He is back to realizing that it was an accident, and one I will try really hard to prevent, but yes, some days the logistics of managing a toddler and a dog are not fun. Other days they are great.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:18 pm 
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oh my god, what a nightmare. i hope she is ok and you can figure something out.

and this may not sound the way i mean it, but maybe the key is to train the kid instead of training the dog. leela's smart and very perceptive, and she knows that when she "gotta go" it's urgent, maybe she can actively think about staying out of his way when he gotta go. not ideal, but that might make it a bit more interesting for her, less scary, and something she can be an active part of.
ETA: we crossed wires there, it sounds like you already have Leela an expert in what to do!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:58 pm 
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Oh my gosh, Tlish! That sounds terrifying. I hope you're able to find a solution that keeps everyone safe. I have enough problems trying to wrangle a cat and a toddler, I can't imagine keeping up with a dog's needs as well. You are a good mommy to Leela, Cuddles, and the kitties too!!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:13 pm 
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oh god. the kid's birthday is monday and it just occurred to me that my mother has just flaked out of doing anything for her birthday. she told me about a week ago that she would offer to take Baggy to the movies and pizza with a friend if she wanted, or give her the money if she didn't, and i said that sounds good, she should talk to her, and she still hasn't (and they were supposed to go and do that tomorrow). I didn't think about it til just now it just hit me that didn't ask because she probably was afraid the kid would say yes and she'd have to spend time with her. My mother literally doesn't say anything more than "good morning", "Good night" and "bless you" to Baggy (and if I ask her it will become accusations and i know my sister is behind this somehow but i just don't have the energy to do anything more than just survive til January and then leave and never come back). I am trying not to make a big deal about it because of how upset it makes me but jesus. To think I used to feel guilty about keeping her far from her grandkid. She's a really caring person (with everyone else but us) and claims she doesn't talk to Baggy because she is afraid Gabby will think she's mean. I just don't know what to say.

And of course all the kid wants is to have her girlfriend sleep over for her birthday, which has me at all different levels of what the fizzle (but the most basic, survival level, is that I'm afraid my mother or sister might perceive that this friend is more than friend, and then shiitake will go from bad to worse). So that isn't going to happen.
Ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:31 am 
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torque wrote:
oh god. the kid's birthday is monday and it just occurred to me that my mother has just flaked out of doing anything for her birthday. she told me about a week ago that she would offer to take Baggy to the movies and pizza with a friend if she wanted, or give her the money if she didn't, and i said that sounds good, she should talk to her, and she still hasn't (and they were supposed to go and do that tomorrow). I didn't think about it til just now it just hit me that didn't ask because she probably was afraid the kid would say yes and she'd have to spend time with her. My mother literally doesn't say anything more than "good morning", "Good night" and "bless you" to Baggy (and if I ask her it will become accusations and i know my sister is behind this somehow but i just don't have the energy to do anything more than just survive til January and then leave and never come back). I am trying not to make a big deal about it because of how upset it makes me but jesus. To think I used to feel guilty about keeping her far from her grandkid. She's a really caring person (with everyone else but us) and claims she doesn't talk to Baggy because she is afraid Gabby will think she's mean. I just don't know what to say.

And of course all the kid wants is to have her girlfriend sleep over for her birthday, which has me at all different levels of what the fizzle (but the most basic, survival level, is that I'm afraid my mother or sister might perceive that this friend is more than friend, and then shiitake will go from bad to worse). So that isn't going to happen.
Ugh.


Do you think maybe G wants your family to find out? Going around being afraid of what will happen when people find out can actually suck a lot more than anything that could possibly happen when they actually find out. Sometimes it's easier on the person to just get it out in the open even if it leads to drama. Keeping a secret like that can be more self-destructive than even "visibly self-destructive" behaviors.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:49 am 
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CQ, thank you so much for that perspective.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:46 am 
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BG has a habit of shouting down the house somewhere between 6am and 8am. We both wake up thinking that he's hurt or had a terrible nightmare or there are bees in his room, but his only reason for shouting is "it's a little bit dark" when he's already switched on the light and opened the curtains. He's not expressing or telling us about any sort of fear or upset that he's experiencing about anything so we don't know what's going on. He also sometimes something similar (pretending to cry really loudly, but not shedding any tears) it in the middle of the day when he's playing in his room saying "I was a little bit lonely". He always knows where we are and come to be with one of us or ask one of us to join him but he's developed this dramatic behavior instead.

His Dad has spoken to him about it, given him the analogy of The Boy Who Cried Wolf and BG promised not to do it again unless there was genuinely something wrong. He did it again this morning because '"it's a little bit dark" (light on, curtains open). His Dad is going to speak to his Mum about it because we don't know whats happening.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:55 pm 
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Audrey wrote:
whoa my goodness, so glad L is ok! I know how scared you must've been and offer hugs to both of you.
uuugh this probably belongs in that other thread we had going about the horrible turkey stuff at school, but - D's teacher just informed H that the day before Thanksgiving, the kids will be doing a little "show" which I'm guessing is going to be themed about Pilgrims etc. Do not want. But way, way, worse is that they are getting a big meal delivered from Boston Market (serisously!?!?!) for all the kids to feast on. I don't know if this makes me a bad parent or not but we are strongly leaning towards just keeping D home that day...we're going to be packing all that week for the move and that seems like a good excuse, right? because I don't even want to get into it with the teacher about how shitty this day sounds.


Ugh we are having the same problem! They're having a big thanksgiving food potluck for lunch & desserts after nap. I was hoping it would just be after nap when they usually have bday parties so my husband could just pick him up 2 hrs early but this means it is starting when they eat lunch at 11:30.

He was just home 4 days last week because of a bad cold too, so I really hate to have him home another day but I don't want him going through all of that turkey crepe.

What I really don't get is why they want to make them eat the same exact food the kids are going to eat with their families the next day anyway! I mean kids don't like leftovers, why are they making the kids eat sweet potatoes and turkey twice in a row??? So dumb.

I have to make all our food in advance to bring seperate meals for us to my nephews anyway, so i really don't want to have to send him in a special plate of the same exact food we will eat the next day.

I'm so annoyed with all of this food at daycare crepe. Between holiday parties and "food class" it is like something he can't have every other day. I don't even see why it is necessary! Kids can eat special foods and learn to cook with their families at home. No need for it in day care! Just give them their damn lunch and get it over with! Jeez.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 8:01 pm 
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I hate trying to get the kids to keep up on chores. It isn't that hard. And it really is uncalled for to sass that the compost didn't get taken out because "you were home all day". Child I was home sick and working, so slow down there.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:39 pm 
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Aubade, that's really rough. And I totally agree about why serve the kids the same "holiday food" the day before? In addition, all this week they are talking about food and tomorrow learning about the food pyramid! We are going to keep her home next Wednesday, which I feel terrible about because they've learned these 3 little songs to perform and D has been singing them for days. She even told H "maybe Mama can come!" and he had to tell her she won't be there either. She was pretty nonplussed but like with many things, I'm sure there are going to be tears and/or acting out down the road due to this. The good thing is school is closed on both the holiday and the Friday, so she'll have time to forget about it, especially since we'll be in the new house on Saturday! And I guess I can always have her sing her songs for our [vegan] guests on Thanksgiving too.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:44 pm 
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I think hanging out with a two year old would be so much easier if their preferences weren't shifting all the time (like multiple times a minute) and their displeasure wasn't voiced in screaming.

Today she refused to go to music, then agreed because she'd see her friends, then wailed and cried after music started and demanded to go home. Then she agreed to wait for 10 minutes and then promptly demanded to go home and cried, so I felt like we had to leave. And then she wanted to go home/park/no home/park/home/no park/library alternating every 5 seconds at the top of her lungs.

Can you just make a choice and stick to it? And if you change your mind, maybe not screaming it at the top of your lungs?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:23 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
I think hanging out with a two year old would be so much easier if their preferences weren't shifting all the time (like multiple times a minute) and their displeasure wasn't voiced in screaming.

Today she refused to go to music, then agreed because she'd see her friends, then wailed and cried after music started and demanded to go home. Then she agreed to wait for 10 minutes and then promptly demanded to go home and cried, so I felt like we had to leave. And then she wanted to go home/park/no home/park/home/no park/library alternating every 5 seconds at the top of her lungs.

Can you just make a choice and stick to it? And if you change your mind, maybe not screaming it at the top of your lungs?



Yeah, pretty much exactly this.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:40 pm 
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Heh. Toddlerdom is intense! I found with my nanny girls that sometimes just choosing yourself and then saying "today we're going to do blah blah blah" helped. (not always, but often)

F just chooses not to choose a lot lately. "Do you want to go feed the ducks or go to the toy store?" "All those things" she will say. :p


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 7:35 pm 
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I'm glad it works so well for you. That doesn't work for us at all, I wish it did. If I say "We're going to do X" then the answer is "NO NO NO! NO X! NO X! NO X!"

And a lot of the time, my frustration is that I am trying to give her something she is really going to like. Like seeing Ariann and Malka - she fought me every step of the way to go, and then had a brilliant time and fought me every step of the way to go home.

I think I am going to give myself a break and not plan anything for the next week or so.

My other vent is that I really hate walking the dog and the kiddo at the same time. It gets dark so soon here, that his last walk is right during the window where she could fall asleep, so I have an exhausted toddler and a very slow dog, who just wants to eat garbage (cat shiitake, old food, duck shiitake, leaves). And if he doesn't get walked then he pees all over the house.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:40 pm 
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Pee. All over the train table, all over the trains and track on the table, through the slats that make up the train table top, into the drawer with the trains, onto the bins that hold the extra track that we store under the table, onto the duplo bin which also lives under the table, all over the floor. Everywhere.

And we were doing so well.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:43 pm 
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Does this mean no one's guarding the beet burgers?

(sorry about your peepocalypse. We've had those days.)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:20 pm 
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That's so awful! And thorough...I'm visualizing so much pee! That makes my cat pee clean up sound good (little puddle).

Tofulish, is there a way to fence off your yard so you can let the dog go out without a walk? I can't imagine walking in the dark and cold all winter with babynut. Seriously, it gets dark at 5:00 for Pete's sake.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:25 pm 
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It was so much pee! He totally emptied his bladder (which must have been very full). Every time I got to a new layer of pee I was like "HOW IS THERE MORE?!"

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:40 pm 
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I am so sorry poopie! Maybe we need to rename you peepeebitch?

And B'nut, Cuddles doesn't like to pee or poop in his own yard. So if we just let him out, he pees a bit but mostly holds it until he just can't anymore. On even a 20 minute walk, he pees on absolutely everything, has a giant poop and then is ready for a happy night. One of the biggest arguments B and I have is that B thinks that every single dog ever should just go in the yard and be done, and the reality is that Cuddles just doesn't like that. One time Cuddles had diarrhea and he literally ran from our house, across the street, to get onto the next block so he could empty tons of liquid poop. He hates pooping or peeing in our yard that much. It sucks, but at this point the choice is Cuddles getting a last walk, or having a house that smells like pee.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:45 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
I am so sorry poopie! Maybe we need to rename you peepeebitch?

And B'nut, Cuddles doesn't like to pee or poop in his own yard. So if we just let him out, he pees a bit but mostly holds it until he just can't anymore. On even a 20 minute walk, he pees on absolutely everything, has a giant poop and then is ready for a happy night. One of the biggest arguments B and I have is that B thinks that every single dog ever should just go in the yard and be done, and the reality is that Cuddles just doesn't like that. One time Cuddles had diarrhea and he literally ran from our house, across the street, to get onto the next block so he could empty tons of liquid poop. He hates pooping or peeing in our yard that much. It sucks, but at this point the choice is Cuddles getting a last walk, or having a house that smells like pee.


Haha, so why is he arguing with you about it? Sounds like he should have that argument with Cuddles. See how that works out.

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