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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:05 pm 
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Grandfathered In
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TRS had night terrors. They were terrifying, for us parents at least.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:08 pm 
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The Emperor just had the biggest meltdown i've seen in weeks. We're talking 15 solid minutes of sobbing and howling. What provoked this, you ask. I'll tell you. He told me he was hungry so... Wait for it... I told him it was lunchtime and put some food in front of him.

Really?

Really. I don't know what the hell.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:05 pm 
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clearly, he was actually hungry for an argument. he was hoping you'd say "nothing! starve, little child, starve!" and then his appetite for conflict would be appeased.

god, c&s, way to ruin his life.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:43 pm 
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can I vent about someone else's kid? I don't know whose kid this is, but he was in a class I was helping teach. First, I asked him to put down a rubber band he was holding and he fake cried (he's 10 or 11) and then I let a girl who was sitting quietly and paying attention do something first and he said "fork THAT!" the camp counselors didn't seem to care, so i just ignored.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:06 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Location: Oxford, UK
Why won't this child sleep? We had 4 good nights of early evening sleep (one night she slept 4 1/2 hours...the longest ever). She still tossed and turned and boobed all night after say 11, but I thought it was something. Tonight, right back to this 38 minute bullshiitake, except of course for the first go around which was after about 20 minutes. I think the teeth are still around maybe.

We are going on vacation in 8 days and I'm thinking that it's pretty much going to be an awful nightmare. Freya is going to have to deal with jetlag, noisy house in order to sleep, which she does badly in good circumstances. She is supposed to be sleeping in a pack n play. Virtually everyone she's going to be around except my mom, is a stranger to her. There are two big dogs (kindly, but boisterous) in the picture. My dad still thinks I'm a crasshole for not moving back to the Midwest. There's going to be pressure to leave Freya, to have her cry it out, to let her eat junk food, and to overextend her day. My ankle is seriously f'ed up and the man and I are both sleep deprived.

Please let us survive.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:23 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I hope you survive and that your trip is uneventful and relaxing, and that somehow it turns out that Freya sleeps better in the Midwest, but that your Dad never finds out and uses it against you :)

((((Hugs)))) You are such a rock star for doing all you do on so little sleep

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:47 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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I am so upset that I am close to being distraught. There is apparently a terrible storm on the east coast and all the airports from Washington to Boston are closed, meaning my flight home today from this work conference was canceled (although of course not until after they pretended it was just delayed eight times and we returned our rental car, checked out of the hotel, and sat at their airport for 3-4 hours). And I so wouldn't even care, but I am missing Malka so much right now that it hurts and I've "talked" to her every night on the phone, but it really seems to rile her up - we haven't tried skyping yet because we're afraid it's going to make her flip out to see and hear me and not be able to come to me. This is one more night without my baby and I have to go to ANOTHER work thing in Philadelphia Sunday - Tuesday - it's a training for a new program we're going to run so I really can't miss it. I am feeling really broken about this in a way I did not expect at all. And my husband is such a freaking saint about it all, but this hurts so badly.

I'm supposed to share a room at the thing in Philadelphia with one of my teachers that I'm bringing to the training, but I'm thinking of renting another room for myself and bringing Malka, even if it means I get much less out of the training.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:51 pm 
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Semen Strong
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(((((((((Hugs)))))))))) Ariann. I am so very very sorry that you're stranded away from Malka.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:54 pm 
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Oh Ariann! I'm so sorry you aren't able to get home tonight. The storms here were crazy. Hope you have an easy time getting home tomorrow.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:13 am 
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oh wow Ariann, that is so hard and I'm sorry you had to go through that! I hope by now you guys are happily reunited.
definitely try to bring her to Philly with you if you can, you'll feel so much better even though I know concentrating on work 100% may be more difficult.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:25 am 
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Ariann, I hope you are home or at least on your way home right now!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 2:28 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Here's hoping you're drowning in cuddles now. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:30 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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I'm home! There are no more rooms at the hotel in philly, so that's out, but I am happily reunited with my family for now. Malka spent several minutes poking me inquisitively before she seemed to believe I was real.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:48 pm 
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Oh my god.

When do the meltdowns end? I would have thought that an almost 10-year-old would be past this. We are now enduring a mammoth meltdown. It started with a dispute during a card game. TRS accused me of breaking a rule and it led, painfully, inexorably to assertions that we were calling him a liar. That led to yelling, tears, and an all-out tantrum. And when called on his rude and disrespectful behavior, he amped it up even more, spiraling into a vortex of victimhood and anger. It's one big party, basically.

I'm sick of this kid's supersensitive martyr complex. And when one of these moods is coming on, there's nothing to do but head for the hills. Which doesn't feel like heartfelt, engaged parenting. Why does this have to be so hard so often?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:22 am 
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Not NOT A Furry
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Ugh, FF, that sounds super difficult to deal with. I have twin almost 10 year old nephews and one of them has a similar, although less dramatic, episodes at family events. It has been getting better (less whining, angry stomping from the room, etc.) lately, so hopefully there's an end in sight? Or at least a decrease in those kind of behaviors.

My gripe - Look, pal, I know you don't want to be on your back. But it would take me about 30 seconds to get your diaper done if you would stop flailing around and just chill for a sec, instead of the several minutes it now takes. All those extra minutes could be spent happily on your tummy instead of miserably clawing at the wall trying to flip over.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:50 pm 
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Well!

Last night, after TRS had been down in bed reading and calming down for a half-hour or so, he came upstairs to get another book... and to give me a big hug.

Then today he sent me an email. Where he said he was sorry about last night.

I've seen this in the kid for years: he does listen. When he's forced to calm down, or when he finally has the chance to be quiet, he does reflect on his behavior. I've seen it plenty of times before. He is capable of coming to his senses. Which is great.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:56 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yay! Maybe the key is to try and just shut down the situation and give him time to cool down? I know that when I threw meltdown tantrums as a pre-teen, I knew in part of my brain that I was out of control and wanted to stop but just couldn't.

TRS is a smart and very sensitive kid, and you're doing a great job raising him!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:51 pm 
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FF have you guys ever thought about some counseling for TRS? I'm wondering if it might not be helpful to get some more coping skills and strategies he can use when he's overwhelmed. It's hard to be sensitive in this world!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 9:40 pm 
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Yeah, he took a class about coping with anxiety a while ago. He might have gotten a little out of it. Mrs. Face and I (mostly her) have been seeing a parenting-type counselor for years.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:13 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Please. Stop. Crying. You look so sad! This is the most Zephyr's ever cried in one day. Still not a lot, but he just makes the tiniest little pouts and wails. His big brother who hates loud sounds is taking it pretty well, but I wish Zeph could just fall asleep. I can tell he's super tired, but he won't go to sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 5:13 am 
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Sounds like you have yourself a little fighter bodhi.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:11 am 
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Glad to hear it's looking hopeful, FF.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 12:49 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Raygold is practically pee-potty trained, is dry at night, no accidents when we went out for 3 hours today, etc. But he poops on the floor most of the time. We have a new record today. 10 poops. I was really losing my shiitake when he pooped number 10 while I was cleaning up number 9. For a kid who hardly seems to eat, he really poops a lot. These are not little poops.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 1:58 pm 
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The Emperor's vacation pattern seems that he has one major screaming meltdown a day. Today's was when we left the library after an hour and a half. It's an hour later and he's still in the second meltdown phase, where he clings to me and moans mama, mama over and over.

Gonna be a long vacation.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:23 am 
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And here we are again. Back to the pre-teen arrogance and entitlement. I don't know what to do or how to help or guide or teach. But I know that I sure do hate this.

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