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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 8:57 am 
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can i complain about my parent partner here? tzippy is only 8 months old and pretty much not annoying at all yet, but OMG my husband is being a giant pain in the behind today. i'm SICK. it's the WEEKEND. tomorrow he will be back at work and i will be dragging my tired, aching butt around by myself all day. is there any reason at all it's acceptable for him to hole up in his office on his computer and bisque and moan and grumble when i ask him to change a bloody forking diaper?

i'll be back in 14 months to complain about tzippy.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:03 pm 
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Shae is trying to kill me. Where did my perfect kid go?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:51 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
Shae is trying to kill me. Where did my perfect kid go?


Details? As permitted by your lawyer, of course?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:58 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
Shae is trying to kill me. Where did my perfect kid go?


aww! sorry kelly!

My mom was just reminding me about how i was basically perfect, never had a terrible twos or anything until I turned 9. then i became some sort of hormonal unholy terror. I used to get so mad I would hit my parents and just flip out. I once destroyed everything in my room including flipping over the bed and threw every book, toy and piece of clothing on the floor. i was CRAZY! it lasted for maybe a year and then i was normal and never really did anything bad again. Hormones are messed up. but I bet whatever it is will pass.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:02 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
Shae is trying to kill me. Where did my perfect kid go?


I know! Mine keeps whining and crying about nothing - what is yours doing?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:43 am 
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Thanks guys. He's decided to just not do math and typing work anymore. Created a huge lie about doing the work and turning it in and then getting 0's anyway. Made me look like quite the idiot. Bluffed him last night and got a confession. He had something like 11 in-completes in typing! 11! it's one of those easy A type of classes too. I'm losing my mind here.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:34 am 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Shae is trying to kill me. Where did my perfect kid go?


aww! sorry kelly!

My mom was just reminding me about how i was basically perfect, never had a terrible twos or anything until I turned 9. then i became some sort of hormonal unholy terror. I used to get so mad I would hit my parents and just flip out. I once destroyed everything in my room including flipping over the bed and threw every book, toy and piece of clothing on the floor. i was CRAZY! it lasted for maybe a year and then i was normal and never really did anything bad again. Hormones are messed up. but I bet whatever it is will pass.


My sister was like this too! She broke windows and put holes in walls. But she was like that for like 3 years.

Shae isn't violent, I was being dramatic. He's just not himself. I think you're right though, damned hormones!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:59 am 
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ijustdiedinside wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Shae is trying to kill me. Where did my perfect kid go?


aww! sorry kelly!

My mom was just reminding me about how i was basically perfect, never had a terrible twos or anything until I turned 9. then i became some sort of hormonal unholy terror. I used to get so mad I would hit my parents and just flip out. I once destroyed everything in my room including flipping over the bed and threw every book, toy and piece of clothing on the floor. i was CRAZY! it lasted for maybe a year and then i was normal and never really did anything bad again. Hormones are messed up. but I bet whatever it is will pass.


Yeah, I think my bad, hormonal years really peaked between 9-13. Middle school was awful, but by High School I was pretty mellowed out and didn't have nearly as many conflicts with my parents or brother.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:58 am 
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Kelly wrote:
Thanks guys. He's decided to just not do math and typing work anymore. Created a huge lie about doing the work and turning it in and then getting 0's anyway. Made me look like quite the idiot. Bluffed him last night and got a confession. He had something like 11 in-completes in typing! 11! it's one of those easy A type of classes too. I'm losing my mind here.


Oh joy, just found out that he isn't doing his science work either. Awesome! Pretty sure this has to do with being on the school soccer team and hanging out with those guys all the time. Last grades were all high A's, and all this began the week soccer practices started. What's amazing is the sheer effort he's using to tell lies about it all.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:01 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Thanks guys. He's decided to just not do math and typing work anymore. Created a huge lie about doing the work and turning it in and then getting 0's anyway. Made me look like quite the idiot. Bluffed him last night and got a confession. He had something like 11 in-completes in typing! 11! it's one of those easy A type of classes too. I'm losing my mind here.


Oh joy, just found out that he isn't doing his science work either. Awesome! Pretty sure this has to do with being on the school soccer team and hanging out with those guys all the time. Last grades were all high A's, and all this began the week soccer practices started. What's amazing is the sheer effort he's using to tell lies about it all.


Are you working with a team at the school to figure out what's going on with your son? Because it sounds like there is something going on with why he isn't doing the work that he isn't expressing to you. Does your school do RTI?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:23 pm 
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celyn wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Thanks guys. He's decided to just not do math and typing work anymore. Created a huge lie about doing the work and turning it in and then getting 0's anyway. Made me look like quite the idiot. Bluffed him last night and got a confession. He had something like 11 in-completes in typing! 11! it's one of those easy A type of classes too. I'm losing my mind here.


Oh joy, just found out that he isn't doing his science work either. Awesome! Pretty sure this has to do with being on the school soccer team and hanging out with those guys all the time. Last grades were all high A's, and all this began the week soccer practices started. What's amazing is the sheer effort he's using to tell lies about it all.


Are you working with a team at the school to figure out what's going on with your son? Because it sounds like there is something going on with why he isn't doing the work that he isn't expressing to you. Does your school do RTI?


Not sure what RTI is?

As soon as I saw the zeros, I contacted his teachers. None of them seemed to be concerned yet because he's still making 100's on all of his tests. We're going to have his soccer coach bench him for a week to see if that will motivate him to get back on track. Luckily we found this out at progress report time so he still has about 3 weeks before the grading period ends.

Shae's a super social kid and has a history of minor slip ups when he gets too "bored" in class... wanting to entertain kids instead of doing work that he finds too easy. (Even though he's in all advanced classes). Pretty sure he's just having trouble adjusting to full time soccer, practicing 2 1/2 hours every day afterschool, and the influx of new friends at middle school.

I just was venting here. I'm sure we'll drag him back on track and everything will be fine. Just a bit of torture for me in the process.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:21 pm 
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Hi, I am here to vent. Because if I wasn't I would be screaming my head off at my two year old. So, aslkfjda;weilfmnskdj.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:54 am 
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Tonight was the night of 1,000 crises, each sillier than the last. I know he was tired and just done, but it was so annoying and frustrating.

The first one:

(He had just bought this Lego dump truck for parts to use in other creations. He built the thing after his homework was done.)

"I don't know what to do! Now that I've built it, I don't want to take it apart!"

Well, that's okay. You don't have to take it apart.

"But, Papa! I don't know what to do!"

You don't have to do anything. When you want to take it apart, you can take it apart. But now it's time for bec.

"But, Papa!!"

Etc.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:55 am 
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Rach*n wrote:
Hi, I am here to vent. Because if I wasn't I would be screaming my head off at my two year old. So, aslkfjda;weilfmnskdj.


That's what the Station's here for.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 11:30 am 
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Two is magical, really, it is...but must EVERYTHING be an emergency and must EVERY need/want/happiness/misery require one being so quick to cry first, use one's words later....if at all?

it's exhausting, maintaining that calm tone and positive vibe thru this much crazy. I just want to get thru a few consecutive hours in the morning without a meltdown. pretty please?

thank you. i feel much better.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 11:43 am 
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two has been a stressful age, but i'm bracing myself because everyone tells me three is even worse. from what i can tell from the boys next door (who i've both seen before and after 3), it's completely true. color me horrified.

my biggest problem right now, is that my 2yo has become extremely bossy and greedy. everything is his. you sit down on the couch, and all of the sudden he's screaming, "NO, THAT'S MY CHAIR!" it's an effin' couch. we can all fit, dude. he's also getting really good at stalling to avoid things he doesn't want to do, and my husband, who's probably just dealt with it too little to notice, keeps falling for it.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:25 pm 
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i keep telling myself that the two year old is so hard because she's getting it all out of her system now instead of three.

but i know it's a lie. i know i'm doomed.

and bossy? oh yeah, we're dealing with heaps 'n gobs of bossy around here, too.

and when will I learn that 'giving her choices' or even 'telling her in advance what we're doing' are both really BAD pieces of advice for my kid? I swear if i'd just learn to give her food without asking her about it first she'd eat more.

Me: "Hey, Bitty, do you want broccoli or spinach?"
Her: "No thanks, I'm good".
(set dinner down before her)
Her: commense freak out mode..."NO MAMA I DON'T WANT DINNER MORE!"
Me: sigh


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:01 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
Rach*n wrote:
Hi, I am here to vent. Because if I wasn't I would be screaming my head off at my two year old. So, aslkfjda;weilfmnskdj.


That's what the Station's here for.


And thank goodness for it.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:59 pm 
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mamachandra wrote:
and when will I learn that 'giving her choices' or even 'telling her in advance what we're doing' are both really BAD pieces of advice for my kid?



Oh my gosh yes. It didn't stop the getting-dressed fits. If I say "okay, we are going to do xyz today" we better be ready to walk out the door. I think too many choices are overwhelming and it's better for now for me to go ahead and serve him whatever/get him dresses and if he speaks up with a choice, I do listen.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:16 am 
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Kelly wrote:
celyn wrote:
Kelly wrote:
Oh joy, just found out that he isn't doing his science work either. Awesome! Pretty sure this has to do with being on the school soccer team and hanging out with those guys all the time. Last grades were all high A's, and all this began the week soccer practices started. What's amazing is the sheer effort he's using to tell lies about it all.


Are you working with a team at the school to figure out what's going on with your son? Because it sounds like there is something going on with why he isn't doing the work that he isn't expressing to you. Does your school do RTI?


Not sure what RTI is?

As soon as I saw the zeros, I contacted his teachers. None of them seemed to be concerned yet because he's still making 100's on all of his tests. We're going to have his soccer coach bench him for a week to see if that will motivate him to get back on track. Luckily we found this out at progress report time so he still has about 3 weeks before the grading period ends.

Shae's a super social kid and has a history of minor slip ups when he gets too "bored" in class... wanting to entertain kids instead of doing work that he finds too easy. (Even though he's in all advanced classes). Pretty sure he's just having trouble adjusting to full time soccer, practicing 2 1/2 hours every day afterschool, and the influx of new friends at middle school.

I just was venting here. I'm sure we'll drag him back on track and everything will be fine. Just a bit of torture for me in the process.


RTI is a technique that progressive schools are moving to (as opposed to the strengths and weaknesses model, ask at your school) that means response to intervention. Basically, you come up with ideas that might solve problems a specific child is experiencing, try them, and move on to something else if it doesn't work. Pretty simple, pretty positive, pretty effective. Your kid sounds super smart, so there has to be a reason (other than laziness) that he's digging in his heels about not wanting to do the work. If he's bored and wanting to be a ham, you can strategize with the teacher about how to engage him and harness his interest and reward him for that. I don't think you have to think about dragging him anywhere, because that sounds punitive, and that's not going to engage a kid! Actually I think that could be problematic. I would work towards engaging him as a partner in succeeding!

Note: I am not a parent and will not be one for probably two more years. I am a returning student in grad school learning to work with children and adolescents in an educational environment. I am giving you the information I am learning.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:16 pm 
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The kid I babysit on Fridays just whacked me in the face with a piece of wood, so hard I think my cheek is going to bruise. He was going for my 14 month old, who was sitting on my lap, and intercepted. (With my face, I guess.)

We have not been having much conflict with him in the past many weeks (basically since I posted asking for help... joanna, your suggestions have made a big difference!) and this just kind of came out of the blue. I am trying to stay positive about how well things have been going but right now I am so mad and frustrated that I could cry.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:55 am 
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Hugs C&S, I hope it gets better.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:06 pm 
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I need some alone time and I'd just like her to sleep in her own forking bed all night long for a night or two. And yet in she sneaks around midnight, every night, without fail. STAY KID. Also she cries when I wash her hair.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:51 pm 
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I think I'm sorta spoiled with Dahlia being such a regular sleeper because I cannot handle what happened last night: she went down to sleep at her usual 10ish, all was well. At 2:30am she was up, freakin' out and screaming. I'm not comfortable with leaving her to cry it out (and ahem her crib is about 20ft from our bed), so I used my normal tactic of taking her into our bed, which usually calms her enough that I am then able to put her back in her crib. Well, last night she just kept turning and kicking and finally standing in our bed, clapping hands, and freakin' SIGNING to me that she wanted me to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" (I could see all this in the dark but ignored it). Her papa tried settling her down a bit, but then she was up, looking for the cats she could hear walking around, snapping her fingers etc. I eventually caved and put her back in the crib with a cup of hemp milk and turned her Sleep Sheep turtle on and she was quiet for a while but then the timer on the turtle turned off and she started SCREAMING again. Aaaah. Back into our bed 2 more times, more yelling. Howard was supposed to get up and try to go get food stamps today but I was convinced that since it was 5:30am before she settled back to sleep, that she would sleep in and that he should postpone so that we could sleep too. But no, she was up - initially cheerful but pretty quickly cranky as hell - at her usual time, 8:30 and Howard and I are both exhausted...at least I get to escape, sort of, by being at work but I can't decide if its worse for me having to beat myself on the head to stay awake at my desk or worse for him to be stuck in the house exhausted with an exhausted cranky baby. Oyyyy.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:29 pm 
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Audrey wrote:
I think I'm sorta spoiled with Dahlia being such a regular sleeper because I cannot handle what happened last night: she went down to sleep at her usual 10ish, all was well. At 2:30am she was up, freakin' out and screaming. I'm not comfortable with leaving her to cry it out (and ahem her crib is about 20ft from our bed), so I used my normal tactic of taking her into our bed, which usually calms her enough that I am then able to put her back in her crib. Well, last night she just kept turning and kicking and finally standing in our bed, clapping hands, and freakin' SIGNING to me that she wanted me to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" (I could see all this in the dark but ignored it). Her papa tried settling her down a bit, but then she was up, looking for the cats she could hear walking around, snapping her fingers etc. I eventually caved and put her back in the crib with a cup of hemp milk and turned her Sleep Sheep turtle on and she was quiet for a while but then the timer on the turtle turned off and she started SCREAMING again. Aaaah. Back into our bed 2 more times, more yelling. Howard was supposed to get up and try to go get food stamps today but I was convinced that since it was 5:30am before she settled back to sleep, that she would sleep in and that he should postpone so that we could sleep too. But no, she was up - initially cheerful but pretty quickly cranky as hell - at her usual time, 8:30 and Howard and I are both exhausted...at least I get to escape, sort of, by being at work but I can't decide if its worse for me having to beat myself on the head to stay awake at my desk or worse for him to be stuck in the house exhausted with an exhausted cranky baby. Oyyyy.


ugh! i hear you. zelda had finally settled into a reasonable nighttime routine (she still gets up a few times in the night to nurse, but at least she goes back to bed) -- but suddenly this week, she changed her mind about being a cooperative nighttime sleeping baby. now she is up ALL NIGHT and won't go to bed until like noon. seriously. we are tired zombie people & i have no idea how to get her back to that nice sleeping schedule.


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