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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 10:02 am 
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i hear ya on the dog walking thing Tlish.
we have two pooches and i swear they are DIRECTLY UP IN MY FACE AT ALL TIMES
i love them to pieces, they are my first children but they DRIVE ME INSANE. i find myself yelling at them alot lately which i hate because i know it's not there fault.

walking them with a baby is hard!

obviously i cant take both but my husband walks both of them in the morning then usually in the afternoon i take the beagle and the baby and go on a long walk but im leaving behind the one who needs the most exercise and he's looking at me when we leave like "what did i do wrong mommy?"
but he is literally the most reactive dog on the planet and it's just not safe or smart to take him to the walking trail.

lately ive tried walking him in a mostly empty cul de sac near our house and so far nothing horrible has happened. so at least that's two walks a day when i do that. plus even though it's expensive we kept him in his once a week agility class because he needs the outlet.
he needs the exercise really bad too. he's been licking himself raw and is currently wearing the cone of shame :-/
poor buddy :-(

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 1:50 pm 
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I have another dog vent!

Cuddles is normally really good and non-reactive. So today I was putting L into the carseat and I had him loose, in our driveway (which normally lets him have a quick pee before I put him into his harness to go to the farmers market or park). He was behind me when I was buckling her in, and when I turned around he had disappeared. So I have my child in the car, and I have to go running out to the street to find him, and he is nowhere to be seen. So I am calling for him and freaking out about whether its safe for me to go too far from my car (which is parked in the driveway, with my child in it). After a few minutes, someone honks to show me that Cuddles has run across the street and is happily nosing around in some ivy. So I run to go get him, calling for him, and HE RUNS AWAY.

So now I am chasing a dog, who doesn't want to get caught, and I finally manage to grab his collar and drag him home, where Leela is strapped in the car seat crying. Then we go to the Farmer's Market.

I think his stomach wasn't feeling great, so he didn't want to poop on our block, but this now means that I can't feel confident with him offleash for even a few minutes, which just makes my life a little harder, because he may run off and is no longer reliable to come when called.

I still don't know if I should have done something different - like just taken L out of the carseat and waited with her for the dog to return. I worry that I put her at risk, because its definitely not ideal to leave a toddler alone in a cold car, but if I hadn't gone to get him, he could have gotten lost or hit by a car.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:24 pm 
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I don't know your house/yard/car situation, so this probably wouldn't work or you'd be doing it, but: is it possible to leave the dog in the house while you buckle L in and then grab go him once she's in? Or, alternately, put a tie-out near where the car is that you can clip him to while you're getting her in?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:58 pm 
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Yes, I am going to have to explore a few of those solutions. I've been letting him out first, since he knocked her over rushing to get out, but I could leave him in, get her in the car and then let him out. Or I could put him in first and then get her. I also really don't like that instead of coming when called, he ran away.

I am venting because it was scary and I am also not thrilled about having left L alone in the car, or running through the neighborhood yelling like a lunatic.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:18 pm 
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Well, Cuddles is directionally deaf, right? Maybe he didn't intend to run away from you, or maybe he just couldn't figure out how to comply. Maybe he is just reaching a new stage of life and you need to dream up a handful of new ways to deal with him, it sounds like he is getting less trustworthy overall, but it may be that he doesn't have as much control as he used to and just can't function the way he once did.

In other news, we figured out why they're called the terrible twos. Jesus Christ this kid is a lunatic.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:32 pm 
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He saw me coming towards him, and ran directionally in the opposite direction! The directionally deaf is true, but normally that means he can't figure out if I am at the front or back door just by sound, but when he sees me, he comes running. Here, he saw me and ran away - which means that I can't trust him to reliably respond to directions, which given that I can't trust L to reliably come when called, means that I have to exert a lot more control on both, instead of just being able to focus on L and let him run a bit and trust that he will come back if needed.

I know its a question of just adjusting to a more limited universe of what he can do, as he ages. I am just venting because it is frustrating.

What is making Malka a lunatic? L is driving me batty with alternately whining and yelling for things I am already giving her. Today was "MARKET! MARKET! MARKET!" as we were on the way to the market, so I asked her to please wait and stop yelling. But no the whole ride was "MARKET MARKET MARKET!" if it wasn't "DIRT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNG!" for when she requested the song that was already playing. And then the whole time at the market she was yelling "HOME! PARK! NO PARK! HOME!" It was unclear which option she preferred. Being yelled at is very stressful for me.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:54 pm 
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A lot of nonsense whining (which I am not being gentle about at all, I am just telling her to cut it out and that she gets nothing that she whines for, and general she will just stop if I tell her to so far, so that's good), a lot of random violence against us, refusal to leave the house, refusal to do things she enjoys, all mixed with a level of manic energy that we haven't seen from her before, just bouncing off the walls (but refusing to go outside where there is so much space to run around and play!), lots of acting like a baby, etc.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:15 pm 
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so, my kid had a friend over to watch Dr Who and the rest of our family has been cloistered away in their rooms since 2:50 as if the plague were here and out to get them. I know I should probably be thankful (since that's how I've spent months now, basically being asked to leave so they can talk, watch TV, etc) but I can't help but feel a little peeved.
I guess it's a good lesson in "you can't ever know what someone else is really thinking" because frankly I can't come up with any reasonable explanation. Except for anxiety disorder (which is not the case in at least one of these people).

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:48 pm 
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oh and now the thought plickens. My sister's boyfriend has just walked into a teenage girl Dr Who party unannounced and i think some pants pooping may be in order. I take back my peevishness, this is going to be fun. where's the popcorn.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 6:13 pm 
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Oh man, torque, I don't know how you manage to keep such a great sense of humor <3

Also, Leela is always asking about Baggy and Twacee, so maybe we can see you one day before you shuffle off the Garden State coil?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 23, 2013 6:46 pm 
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yes and yes. we will have at least two trips to the consulate in NYC, and that will take us right past your house. or we could meet for Manhattan delicacies perhaps, mwahaha.

i never saw my sister move that fast in her life to swoop in and rescue the boyfie from the potential evils of teenage girls. it was most delightful.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 11:24 am 
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WHERE ARE THESE DAMNED TEETH AND WHY WONT THEY JUST POP THROUGH ALREADY SO I CAN GET MORE THAN 2 HOURS SLEEP AT A TIME!!

AHHHHHHH!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 11:47 am 
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Lisa, I feel you we are there with the two year molars.

My vent: why can't we just get things done anymore? Diaper change, getting dressed, eating anything that isn't pudding, whatever. Every request becomes a whine in two seconds, even when I am saying yes! Argh. I developed a cold yesterday and woke up this morning such a freaking mess with zero patience, so it was an especially auspicious morning to be an impossible toddler I guess.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 1:55 pm 
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Well thanks to this dumb nor'easter my mom is no longer coming to keep my kid out of school tomorrow. This means tonight I am making the following for his t-day party at school: chickpea cutlet, stuffing, corn bread, corn, mac n cheese, sweet potato + pumpkin bread & apple pie cookies.

Luckily this is all different stuff from what we are eating on thurs but I really did not need another night of major cooking in addition to what I need to do for thurs. Grr!

At least on the upside I found a new brand of soy free frozen vegan macncheeze at wegmans so I don't have to make that from scratch. Hopefully it is good (Ian's). I also had cutlet in the freezer & found accidentally vegan cookies at the store so I just have to make the other stuff.

It is still crazy-making tho! Stupid school.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:07 pm 
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I hear cutting molars is even worse than the first teeth.
I just gave her a half dose of Tylenol in hopes she might sleep tonight if she wasn't in so much pain. We'll see. She's soooooo tired.

I was talking to my mom tonight and I was telling her how we haven't slept in 2 nights and how she falls apart at night and she asked me if we were feeding her regular food yet and she must be hungry and that's why she keeps waking up.

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! My mom has been really supportive of breast feeding so it came a bit from left field and I know she was just saying it because she doesn't know any better but it really pissed me off and I'm still stewing over the comment several hours later.

The kid is clearly teething!!!!!! Argh!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 6:54 pm 
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Well that was a complete fail. He barely touched the whole feast I stayed up late cooking for him last night. They served it to him in the tupperware container I packed it all in instead of on the cute fall plates all the other kids had. Is it just me or is that totally stupid? Like isn't it obvious he'd feel weird about being the only kid eating out of a plastic container?

He told me he felt sad he didn't get the same food the other kids had.

I really hate being a vegan parent in a non-vegan world.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:05 pm 
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Oh Aubade that is the worst! I am so very sorry, that sounds unkind and kind of unnecessarily isolating for poor K!

I hope you can have a word with the school so that this doesn't happen again.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:09 pm 
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My vent is that I am pretty sure Leela has coxsackie (the rash started after her ped had closed for the holiday, yay). So all our awesome plans are cancelled. I am really sad about it. We were supposed to go to a big celebration, with the family that we've spent the last 2 decades of celebrations with, and I really wanted to see everyone, but given that there are a lot of kiddos and one of our friends is pregnant, we're obviously not going to go.

And I'm thinking that unless everything is gone by Sunday, I'll miss the PPK meet up and I am going to miss the Montclair Vegans Thanksliving potluck which is always amazing.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:22 pm 
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Thanks tlish. Sorry to hear about Leela...that sounds like a total bummer all your holiday plans got cancelled! I hope she feels better soon!!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:45 pm 
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hang in there Tlish. Sorry about the cox, if i recall it clears up quickly but too bad about the dinner.

Baggy has just basically said that she's had enough here. She has been holed up in her room. So now not only is everyone being a douche to her, she's now being a douche by refusing to talk to anyone. I can't say I blame her but all this forking drama is making me ill. she also had a snotty teen moment in the liquor store today and i came within an inch of making a big scene but didn't. but dammit teenage mouth, sometimes shut the fork up.

is there a good response to "wow, it must be that time of the month?" My biting-tongue blather about it being misogynistic and rude didn't leave the desired impression.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:48 pm 
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if it's any consolation, whenever I see a teenager being snotty/rude to their parents i feel super embarrassed for them. it makes them look terrible. so if anyone was around to over hear her, they probably rolled their eyes.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:03 pm 
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so much eye rolling! it's amazing we all don't just blow our eyes out.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:45 am 
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torque wrote:
but dammit teenage mouth, sometimes shut the fork up.


Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. If I give one more speech about being a role model for your younger brother, my head will explode! But Silas is picking up a teensy bit of sarcasm and I can't even handle the thought of 2 of them at once. STAY SWEET, SILAS. FOR MY SURVIVAL.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:51 am 
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Aubade wrote:
Well that was a complete fail. He barely touched the whole feast I stayed up late cooking for him last night. They served it to him in the tupperware container I packed it all in instead of on the cute fall plates all the other kids had. Is it just me or is that totally stupid? Like isn't it obvious he'd feel weird about being the only kid eating out of a plastic container?

He told me he felt sad he didn't get the same food the other kids had.

I really hate being a vegan parent in a non-vegan world.



I'm so, so sorry this went so badly! Sometimes you just can't make other people make sense. We went through something like this in the beginning of the school year and I just straight up told the teacher that the way it was handled hurt Silas' feelings, and how that could have easily been avoided on the school's part. I spelled out exactly what I did to pre-plan the situation and how easily they could have made him feeling included and welcomed, instead of making him feel like he didn't belong. It actually worked and his teacher has been going out of her way to even buy vegan snacks for the whole class since then.

BUT THEN... and here's my vent.... she has some sort of breakdown and quit on the spot and left. The kids didn't even know she left. I had to question the teachers a day later to find out and that was like pulling teeth. She was the director of the preschool who created the entire program! I don't even know. I'm not looking forward to vegan-training another teacher after this fall break.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2013 12:21 pm 
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LisaPunk wrote:
I was talking to my mom tonight and I was telling her how we haven't slept in 2 nights and how she falls apart at night and she asked me if we were feeding her regular food yet and she must be hungry and that's why she keeps waking up.

I'm guessing she hasn't started solids yet, right? You can't make them when they're not ready. Beety was stuffing his face with food (bisque stole my biscuit) at 5.5 months and Raygold was barely eating by 7 months. Vax is 6 months tomorrow and completely not interested in food.

And teething! Rub some whisky on your own gums because sometimes there is nothing you can do to help!

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