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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:44 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Yikes! That sounds awful. I think I posted an article about this that I followed on the sleep thread somewhere, but when I was having a really difficult time involving lots of fighting around bedtime (this was around 24 months, so a bit younger! your mileage may vary), it really helped to just sit inside her bedroom door and keep putting V back into bed, with minimal fuss or attention, whenever she'd climb out. Eventually she'd give up and conk out. It took a couple weeks - at first it was ~1.5 hours, then down to 20 minutes, but basically ever since then we've done bedtime routine (nothing fancy - bring the potty into her room, jammies, tooth brushing, and a story or two, down from five stories in the beginning since that was part of what would entice her into bed) and that's been it. Then we get up, turn out the light, shut the door, and enjoy our evening.

It was a tough couple weeks, with bunches of crying, but so, so, SO worth it.

I hope you find something that works for you!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:14 pm 
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Has it on Blue Vinyl
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Ok I know I've been in here a lot lately due to the school food things. But here are two long & annoying but hopefully somewhat amusing (how I'm trying to look at it) stories:

1. It was pet theme this week at school so yesterdays "cooking class" involved making vanilla pudding, then adding blue food coloring to make it look like water, then putting in goldfish crackers. They only told us last minute so I asked my husband to stop at Trader Joe's on his way home to see if they have those vegan jello cups we've seen there occasionally, but turns out they've been discontinued. So I said get blueberry juice and I tried to make jello with it with some agar we had at home, then added little swedish fish. This is what it looked like lol
OIL SPILL TOXIC CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
Image
He actually did eat some, but seriously - is this really a necessary activity?!?! And mine may have been weird looking but pudding with goldfish crackers sounds gross too.

2. My mom picked him up at snack time a week or so ago and keeps going on and on about how it broke her heart to hear him asking for the other kids' snack food and how she feels so bad that he is "different". Well I was always made fun of my whole life because her mantra was always, "don't be a follower". Some of my earliest memories are being made fun of for being different.

For example: I have a problem with flakey eyelashes (still do) and apparently back then the doctors said to put some kind of gel medicine on my lids. She would put it on right before I got on the bus in the morning in 1st grade. I must have looked like one of those kids who was always pulling their eyelids back or something. Gross! I mean seriously, who does that to a kid? Of course no one wanted to sit with me on the bus.

Then, you have to picture her hair (still today) is a 1950's beauty parlor do straight out of Grease. My friends often referred to it as the Jiffy Pop Popcorn 'Do. And that's how she did my hair. I HATED it, and would cry when she put in the curlers. All the kids called me Shirley Temple. When I complained she would always say, "when you're old enough then you can do it yourself." She finally let me do it my own way around 7th grade.

Then all I remember in the 80's was wanting parachute pants and fluorescent sweatshirts like everyone else but she wouldn't let me get them. "Don't Be A Follower."

Now, of all things, she gets upset my kid is different for actual moral reasons? (while I dress him and do everything else completely normal) Seriously?!?!

I actually said this to her tonight as she mentioned yet again how it broke her heart he couldn't have the other kids' food. She INSISTED she never had anything to do with me being made fun of, and that, "those kids WISHED they had your hairdo". OMG, what the fizzle I don't even know what else to say. The denial is astonishing.

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Last edited by Aubade on Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:17 pm 
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Chip Strong
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You know, we tried the putting her back in bed over and over twice now and one time she ended up with a cold and we felt bad not laying down with her so it ended and another time I ended up having to do bedtime by myself a couple of days into it and just couldn't do it with Alice. We were talking earlier about trying it again. But yeah, those two times we tried it it was pretty tough. Right now (an hour into bedtime) she is yelling "I want mommy!". She is clearly exhausted because two hours ago she was yawning away on the subway.
Annak, when you did that with V did you follow the same routine at nap time? Or did you just do it for bedtime? Nap time is nowhere near as difficult. As long as I have Alice asleep she goes right to sleep in a few minutes with me laying down. And weirdly she is actually fine with her dad (and actually requests him) laying down for naps with her on the weekends.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:22 pm 
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Has it on Blue Vinyl
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Kelly wrote:
BUT THEN... and here's my vent.... she has some sort of breakdown and quit on the spot and left. The kids didn't even know she left. I had to question the teachers a day later to find out and that was like pulling teeth. She was the director of the preschool who created the entire program! I don't even know. I'm not looking forward to vegan-training another teacher after this fall break.


Ugh! I totally know how you feel That's a big reason that lead to his current school problems. The last teacher was much better. I hope it goes OK for you!

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I'm not asking for utopian dreams...just a little peace in this world. That's a logical thing. - Deee-Lite


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:52 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Aubade, I just want to say that you are seriously amazing. You really do go above and beyond to support Kai.

I think its a bit cruel of your mother to make you feel guilty for your parenting choices, there is enough guilt in parenting without the people we love layering it on as well.

Also, your Black Lagoon is awesome :) So much cooler than goldfish in pudding cups, which is gross.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:08 pm 
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Seriously, I threw up in my mouth a little when I heard blue pudding + forking goldfish crackers.

(Agar jello and swedish fish sounds worlds better, black lagoon or no.)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:23 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Yeah, you would think something like Swedish fish would be more tasty for everyone. Soggy goldfish? No thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:49 pm 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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Scarlett loves music and it always cheers her up if she's in a bad mood, but we cannot get her to like good music! She only wants baby music. How do they know??? And she won't even listen to baby rock bands! Just straight up Raffi!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 9:14 pm 
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And you never will.
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Oh man, that would probably drive me crazy. poopieboy is the opposite - he's always hated baby music, all he wants to listen to is AC/DC, Queen, and Guns N' Roses. If I ever have to hear Back In Black again I will cry.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 9:13 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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IT IS forking SNOWING
WHY MUST WE FIGHT OVER YOU WEARING A COAT?!?!
if it wouldn't have protective services on my doorstep, i would take all her goddamn clothes away and send her to school in a t-shirt.
and again, another day starting with my mother asking why Baggy is "the way she is." She peas me off, but compared to what she could grow up to be (my sibling) i really can't say she's bad. ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 2:09 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Aubade, how obnoxious!! But your black lagoon made me smile.

Sashi, we actually haven't done that kind of "sleep training" (if you can call it that) for naptimes, and possibly as a result bedtime is MUCH easier for us than naps. Usually naps end up with her falling asleep in the car seat (in which case I just take it inside because ugh, transfers) or in her stroller or on her bed if I lie down with her when she's very tired. I probably should get into more of a naptime routine but with always trying to schedule around different daytime things, it's really difficult, and I just don't have the energy to put in a big effort with naptime right now. But usually we can achieve a nap within 20 minutes of stroller walk, worst case, so I don't worry about it too much.

Ugh the tantrums. UGGHH!!! Like today. I promised her that if she took a shower with me and let me wash her hair (she's been resisting the hair washing lately), we could go to the play cafe. So we do that and I coax her into clothes even but what's the sticking point? She wants PURPLE SOCKS to go with her purple shoes or else we can't leave the #$@!ing house. So we're still here, because she doesn't OWN purple socks! She has one lavender sock (not one pair, one sock) that she wore yesterday with a turquoise one and now it's in the wash, wet. So I kept telling her that we could either go without socks or we could stay here and apparently we'll be STAYING HERE. With her screaming and crying about random stupid shiitake in the mean time and trying to crawl all over me.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Oh i hear you on tantrums. I got yelled at BC her blueberry pancakes had blueberries in them. Because she asked for blueberries. And then got them.

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:10 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Ugh yes, the "I want X!" "What the hell is this X? I want Y!!!" "Y? What is this shiitake? Give me Z!" ad nauseum makes me want a cocktail at 10am every day. Too bad I'm pregnant. (and simultaneously wondering what on earth I was thinking)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:54 pm 
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Chip Strong
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We're all sick. Alice slept horribly last night because of snot and teething which means I have no sleep plus sick. Ada is snotty but until now has been running around like crazy. Ada never napped because i couldn't get Alice to take another nap until recently. And I desperately need a nap. Now Ada is watching daniel tiger while Alice naps so at least there's that.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:08 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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*chuckle* at the tantrumming...it drives me up a wall sometimes too, but the insanity of it all makes me laugh sometimes. Freya started to flip her shiitake last night because Karl had his pant leg rolled up (because he has some mosquito bites and they were itching against the fabric). Another day, she didn't want me to rub my hair/the sides of my head. Having my own socks half-on/half off, me drinking from "pappa's cup", filling the bathtub too full (even though she wants it high, so she can "swim"), not letting her dump out the recycle bin all over the hallway, her new bike "tipping", not being able to grab both tassles on her hat, the bus driver not driving away from the bus stop quickly enough....so many things to worry about when you are two. "That not right" and "DON'T DO IT!" are heard continuously lately.

Tantrums I can take. Whining...well, that's a whole other thing.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 7:06 pm 
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Blue pudding and goldfish crackers -- it's almost enough to get me started thinking about home schooling. I feel like I have to complain since I'm in the Ventilation Station, so I will complain about the constant pinching, hitting and biting my husband and I are now being subjected to. I'm pretty sure it's normal 14 month old behavior (despite my mom's not helpful comments), but I just bought a stack of books about disciplining toddlers because I'd like to get through this stage without anyone losing an eye.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:36 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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But I don't *want* to paint at 6am.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:03 pm 
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Hearts James Cromwell

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Please share any books you find helpful! Or can we start another thread (since they may not be vegan-specific parenting resources)? I desperately need guidance to know what we're in for and constructive ways to handle it. (Advice like "trust your instincts" has not worked out well for me.)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:18 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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There's a 'vegan parenting resources' thread stickied:

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=46


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 12:24 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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My partner's been sick the last week, then my oldest son, and now my toddler's sick. The other two weren't bad, though Iz has a fever, but Z started to seem sick today with coughing, but then he started puking. Poor baby! He puked and cried over and over for about fifteen minutes, and now he's asleep on me. I had just started making mini-stollen when he got sick, so it's on pause til tomorrow. No stollen for us tonight! Also, I was at work at 5:15 this morning and am now anticipating a long night. So it goes.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 5:45 am 
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Because Bob Barker Told Me To
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I watched the Graham Norton show the other night and he was quite rude about vegans. Jamie Oliver was a guest and he had made vegan brownies for Ben Stiller who was another guest (but not vegan anymore). Graham called vegans annoying, vegans who are no longer vegans even more annoying, and Ben Stiller said he was no longer vegan because he was fed up of being hungry. The only guest with an ounce of common sense & decency seemed to be Jamie Oliver. It annoyed me all day for some reason.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:47 am 
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And you never will.
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I saw that too. It was pretty annoying - plus I'm pretty sure Jamie said the brownies were gluten-free as well? That can't have helped with the "healthy" taste (as Ben put it). I pretty much just cringed through the whole thing.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:51 am 
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Impressive boner
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Ugh. The ghost of bad times past reared its head today when BG told me that his Mum's ex-boyfriend had told him that Mr8 isn't his real Dad. BG promised me that he wouldn't tell Mr8 this. That guy was such a forking arsehole.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 12:07 pm 
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Because Bob Barker Told Me To
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poopiebitch wrote:
I saw that too. It was pretty annoying - plus I'm pretty sure Jamie said the brownies were gluten-free as well?

That's right. I forgot about that part

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"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life" Mary Oliver
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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:40 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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8ball wrote:
Ugh. The ghost of bad times past reared its head today when BG told me that his Mum's ex-boyfriend had told him that Mr8 isn't his real Dad. BG promised me that he wouldn't tell Mr8 this. That guy was such a forking arsehole.



Wow. If your partner has any kind of ongoing court appointments regarding custody, I would make sure to document this. What a totally inappropriate thing to say to a kid.


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