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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 2:28 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Ugh, now her daughter is sick too. So I guess L picked up a stomach thing and now A has it. Poor babies.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:44 pm 
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Semen Strong
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And she made her sick and vomiting child go out to dinner with family, so no one would be disappointed or think they were rude. We stayed home and focused on letting L heal up, so probably everyone thinks we are rude.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 1:12 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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Ew. You know, take this with a grain of salt because I am a straight up bisque, but I have come to the realization in life that there is almost nobody I would reasonably make plans with for which I'd cheerfully endure an illness just for a meal's worth of company. But I can't tell you how many times, after I've shared a finger food appetizer with somebody or somesuch, where they've said "OH I'M NOT FEELING WELL."

Stay home! Cancel! I'll live through it, really. I have books.

Buuut, maybe your family feels differently. I think you did the right thing, personally!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:32 am 
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I come from what sounds like a similar family situation, and it just surpasses logic, but we have dealt with it for years so it's normal, and unfortunately, in my case, i'm a sucker because i think that one day they won't be such a band of wackos and then we'll have a wonderful family like normal people (spoiler: never happens).

A few years ago we were there for the 4th of July visiting, and Baggy had a stomach virus (which is hysterical, because a) she NEVER gets sick and b) my siblings are constantly sick but they`re special so it`s okay) and everyone was upset that i didn't "make her go" to the firework picnic event. Like, really? You want her to barf in front of people? Just because you bought cupcakes to bring to some shitty event? I don't even care if you get the virus, I am not going to have her feel humiliated in front of hundreds of people if she needs to be sick. not happening.

Glad she's healing up and hopefully you have a pleasant trip home back to peace, quiet, and furbaby snuggles.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 7:01 am 
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Semen Strong
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Yes, I feel the same way! I really hate being sick and I think bringing a sick person along is inconsiderate because no matter how much I love you, I love not vomiting more.

Her daughter ended up barfing 3 times during dinner, once very spectacularly over herself and my DSS, and then they took her home after doing their best to clean up all the throw-up she left on the carpet.

I really don't get taking a sick kid out to be polite. It sucks for the kid, I don't really think its a pleasant experience for the hosts, and its silly to put everyone out, just so you don't waste some ziti. They asked me to send Brett over, but given that he had been up with her the night before and gotten only a few hours of sleep he didn't want to go, and L didn't want to be away from me for even a minute, so we just all stayed home. She had a 103.5 fever all night. This morning seems a bit better and we haven't yet had any vomiting, which is great!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:35 am 
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It's not a gracious sentiment, but maybe what you can take out of all this is, "At least I'm not them!" You've created your own wonderful family, and that's the one you get to spend most of your time with.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 10:18 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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Ugh, I'm sorry for them that it went so poorly but…really, what were they thinking? It sounds like the real victims are the restaurant staff who had to clean up after that and got exposed to those germs. Ick.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:16 pm 
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Oh my God, Tofulish. Her poor kids, your poor kid, poor you. I'm so sorry this trip's reality is so different from the expectations. I don't know if Leela is like this, but I know that Malka usually walks away from experiences that I thought were awful with only awesome memories, so hopefully Leela will come away from this just with the great memory of spending so much time with her extended family and forgetting the angst and the barfing.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:14 am 
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Semen Strong
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We had an amazing day today. My stepsister took her boys to Universal, and my Dad, DSM, A and our family just hung out and did the same thing all together. We didn't spend any time trying to frantically coordinate or find one another, there was no stress about trying to find something for everyone. We just did a bunch of fun baby-rides at WDW together, watched the parade and L was over the moon happy to have her cousin and her grandparents with her. We took so many family pictures and just got along so well together. It was so easy and wonderful, and made me wish all the more that every day in this vacation could have been like that. Days like this are what I dream about when I agree to go along. If it were terrible all the time, it might be easier to just say no. But the ideal,the dream of family who love you unconditionally, who want you to be happy, who sing with you, remember with you, know you. Its so strong...

And thanks Ariann,I am pretty sure L will only have good memories of this trip. She has had a blast with her cousin and her grandparents and has just been soaking up all the love like a little sponge. She was also hilarious - we were on the Ariel ride, and the whole ride she was saying she was scared and wanted to go home, and then the second the ride was over, she said "Can we do it again?"

In annoying family drama news, my stepsister has dictated that we celebrate my DSM's birthday by driving 2 hours each way to the ocean because her daughter has never seen the ocean. Which is lovely except that 4 hours in the car sounds like a terrible way to spend a day, which will inevitably involve trying to figure out what they are doing and trying to chase them down with an exhausted two year old. But if we don't, then we will be rude and miss out on a family celebration and it will all be held against us forever. Relationships and families man, like torque says. They're so complicated for many of us, and yet they seem like they should be so easy. And we keep hoping and sticking around, for those little pay-offs and hope that this time it will be different.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:29 am 
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so we just spent the long labor day weekend with my inlaws in upstate NY. we went to the NY State Fair which overall is just ugh but they all wanted to go. thankfully it was the last day of the fair and only cost $1
as with any state fair there are "show" animals and it was just awful because it was 1000 degrees and we saw all these giant fat pigs just like panting/sweating/whatever pigs do laying on their side looking like they were about to expire and there was a big sign that said "where are all the baby pigs" and after the first sentence and a half about something about the pork industry being hit hard by some virus or something i went screaming out of the building. it was horrid.
i wanted to go see all the show guinea pigs so we went into the poultry building which is where they kept the birds, bunnies, and piggies and they had all these various poultry birds in cages and bunnies and everyone was showing BP stuff like "look at that turkey!" "look at that bunny" and i wanted to vomit because they're showing my daughter all these caged animals so finally we were by some swans in this bizarre indoor mini pond with a fence around it and i knelt down and started talking to her and explained that we dont like to keep animals in cages and it wasnt nice and it was nicer to let them live in the wild and be free. you know really basic words that maybe a 16 month old might/might not understand. then out of the blue my MIL starts to CONTRADICT ME and starts rambling about how the animals in the cages are protected and how the raccoons cant get the swans which was just baffling as im not sure how much raccoon vs swan warfare there is in the world. i was livid. i got the last word in cause it's my kid but i was furious. DO NOT CONTRADICT ME when i am teaching my kid my values.

i dont think she did it to like be all meddling or vicious cause that's sooooo not how she is. the only thing i can think of is she wanted to like paint some sort of nice picture of why the animals were in cages. my inlaws are definitely old school hippies and always have been super respectful of me being vegan and always go out of their way to make sure i have food to eat at their house so i honestly think maybe she thought i was being a bit harsh and she wanted to paint some pretty picture for her precious little grand daughter. i dunno i was pissed though. i was like WE.DO.NOT.BELIEVE.IN.PUTTING.ANIMALS.IN.CAGES.THE.END

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:34 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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LP, that sounds so rough. That sign about the pigs!! So sad, too.

Also, raccoons are bisques, but a swan could totally take one out!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:21 pm 
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Raccoons can't get at the swans if they're in cages? I'd wager a swan in a cage locked in an underground bunker surrounded by land mines would be at more risk from raccoons than one outdoors by a pond. Has your MIL ever actually hung out with swans/gooses? They don't put up with nothin'!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:29 pm 
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it was just odd.

on the one hand i was pissed that she was contradicting me on something i feel is important on the other hand i was like "racoons?" and trying not to laugh.

racoons can be some nasty bisques but i wouldnt mess with a swan either.

new reality show: Racoon VS Swan!!! (obviously not vegan)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 12:38 am 
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Okay this could be out of control pregnancy hormones.

My husband and I had a huge fight earlier that left me in tears. We've been having some marital issues lately and I feel like I'm married to a completely different person. He's been snapping at me a lot lately. Maybe it is just pregnancy hormones and I'm over reacting but this has been a very rough pregnancy physically. I constantly have back pain, headaches, fatigue, dizziness, some pains, and I crash after every meal. Doing a simple task such as the dishes can be exhausting. My husband doesn't get why I might need more help with our two year old or why I need to lay down after dinner. He also brought up that women handle their pregnancies fine and he was angry that I didn't want to take our son to the grocery store and instead have him watch him. (Our son has been testing his boundaries lately, he doesn't want to sit in the cart, throws tantrums, and it is now getting very difficult for me to get down to his level and pick him up. Back pain doesn't help, I just really wasn't in the mood.) He gave me a book to read called The 5 Love Languages, and I read the first three chapters but it is so hard to find time to read. I guess I could cut down time online but sometimes I just want to veg and do something mindless. (Maybe I'm just making excuses) He was very angry when he found out that I hadn't read more of the book and said that he doesn't think that I care about our marriage.

And what triggered all this was a stupid political discussion. He got angry when I refuted one of his points and said that I wasn't listening.

And I'm trying to keep the house in order, trying to get dinner done, trying to get things cleaned up, and trying to entertain my son. If this pregnancy was like my first, that wouldn't be too hard.

I don't know if it is just pregnancy hormones and I'm being irrational or overly insensitive. I just don't know what happened to my husband. I swear he wasn't this before and this is recent. He has also been hanging out with someone recently that I do not particularly care for and I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I kind of want to take our son and stay at a hotel tomorrow night. If it wasn't so damn late I probably would have done it tonight.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 6:25 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Kal, I'm so sorry. Pregnancies can be SO exhausting (especially if you are the one primarily in charge of cooking, child minding, and maintaining the house, and I know I was both sensitive and crabby when I was pregnant with Vax, which made my feelings about any arguments I had with my husband even worse. (My husband definitely was crabbier when I was pregnant!! He says he wasn't, but he totally was.)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2014 1:25 pm 
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Kal wrote:
Okay this could be out of control pregnancy hormones.

My husband and I had a huge fight earlier that left me in tears. We've been having some marital issues lately and I feel like I'm married to a completely different person. He's been snapping at me a lot lately. Maybe it is just pregnancy hormones and I'm over reacting but this has been a very rough pregnancy physically. I constantly have back pain, headaches, fatigue, dizziness, some pains, and I crash after every meal. Doing a simple task such as the dishes can be exhausting. My husband doesn't get why I might need more help with our two year old or why I need to lay down after dinner. He also brought up that women handle their pregnancies fine and he was angry that I didn't want to take our son to the grocery store and instead have him watch him. (Our son has been testing his boundaries lately, he doesn't want to sit in the cart, throws tantrums, and it is now getting very difficult for me to get down to his level and pick him up. Back pain doesn't help, I just really wasn't in the mood.) He gave me a book to read called The 5 Love Languages, and I read the first three chapters but it is so hard to find time to read. I guess I could cut down time online but sometimes I just want to veg and do something mindless. (Maybe I'm just making excuses) He was very angry when he found out that I hadn't read more of the book and said that he doesn't think that I care about our marriage.

And what triggered all this was a stupid political discussion. He got angry when I refuted one of his points and said that I wasn't listening.

And I'm trying to keep the house in order, trying to get dinner done, trying to get things cleaned up, and trying to entertain my son. If this pregnancy was like my first, that wouldn't be too hard.

I don't know if it is just pregnancy hormones and I'm being irrational or overly insensitive. I just don't know what happened to my husband. I swear he wasn't this before and this is recent. He has also been hanging out with someone recently that I do not particularly care for and I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I kind of want to take our son and stay at a hotel tomorrow night. If it wasn't so damn late I probably would have done it tonight.


I truly can't imagine going through another difficult pregnancy while already taking care of another child. I wish I could cook you dinner and do your laundry while you take a nice relaxing bath.

My (unhelpful) response to being handed the Five Love Languages would be to hand my husband a copy of Equally Shared Parenting.

Perhaps a more helpful response would be a pregnancy book intended for fathers. My husband really liked The Expectant Father. And among other things, it emphasizes the kind of support a father's partner is likely to need (taking on a bigger share of the housework and childcare) and also acknowledges the changes the father is going through.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:35 pm 
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uhhh so D ate a cupcake at school today. It is extremely, highly unlikely it was vegan. She's never done anything like this before and I'm actually more upset than I thought I would be. I know it's not a big deal but especially lately she's been talking a lot about the animals etc. I guess she's learning about disconnect - as in, all the other kids are having one and I really, really want one too.
In her defense, it was only the 3rd day of school and I hadn't gotten around to getting her cookies to keep in the classroom. I did speak to the teacher about our veganism and told her I'd be bringing something in for her to keep but I guess she forgot, it was 5 days ago and I'm sure she has a lot of other stuff to remember. I'm kinda bummed that D would do that but as she gets older I'm sure that urge to fit in is kicking in. Now, what shall I write on the note I send with her cookies tomorrow?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 9:31 pm 
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Ugh I'm sorry Audrey! We are already having issues at preschool. Of course it's different for Dahlia since she's older, but it's been so stressful for me and my partner to worry about what Scarlett's eating at school. Her teacher is really sweet but absolutely doesn't get it. She asked whether animal crackers are vegan. We said they can be, if they do not contain dairy or eggs. She was seriously asking because they are called "animal" and are shaped like animals. My partner freaked out and requested that she only share class snacks with S if they are straight up fruits or veggies, otherwise to give her the snack that we pack her.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 10:06 pm 
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We had a cupcake incident, too. Her teacher said she "just had some frosting" when I asked about it. I sent in a list of stuff I thought they might not realize wasn't vegan (marshmallows, gummy candy, goldfish, etc.) and I have been sending in boxes of crackers and cookies that they can store at school whenever they eat that shiitake. At home we do fruit and veg snacks so it pains me to do that, but it is what it is.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 11:15 am 
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oh yeah Butternut I need to do that! I did send a note explaining in a little further detail, but I focused mostly on the baked goods thing. The result: on Friday, the teacher gave all the kids a lollipop but Dahlia was given some of the Snackimals from the bag I sent in. Sigh. I wrote a short note saying "hey we're not against sugar, just exploiting animals, so lollipops are ok." I hate drawing attention to us and I think that Dahlia is getting a little bit bummed about being different but dammit I'm trying!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:12 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Uggghhh. So Inez started preschool a couple weeks at ago and of course got a cold already. But it was on Saturday and seriously seemed to last like half a day and not really bother her at all. Great! Except yesterday Greta got sick and oh my god. She is just a streaming fountain of snot and did not sleep at all last night. Just miserable snorting and crying and trying to nurse. So I was up the whole night and now I'm sick, too. I dropped Inez off and went for a walk around the park across the road because Greta was asleep in the Ergo. She was still sleeping after I finished so I just sat in a swing with her for a while. Well, she woke up coughing and puked all over me and the baby carrier. Now we're home and she's asleep again and I'm trying to wash and dry the carrier before I have to go back for Inez. I changed my shirt but I really want a shower. I keep phantom-smelling broccoli apple baby food puke.


Annnd I just had a letdown and realized I forgot to put in nursing pads this morning and now my bra is soaked. I just washed this bra!

Oh! And! I locked my keys in the car this morning at the grocery store and my husband had to leave work (like an hour and change round trip) to bring me the spare set.

I am winning at life today! Everything's coming up Pinko!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:56 pm 
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Ugh. Poor you and poor Greta.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 9:37 pm 
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That is so totally crappy, pinko! Tomorrow will be better!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 7:29 am 
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Yuck, Pinko!! That's terrible. V caught a cold near-instantly when we started school as well. Her first day was Wednesday, Saturday morning she had a soccer game and then we went home to pack for a trip to Bologna.. Sure enough, on the way up there she said her mouth hurt - we didn't think much of it but in retrospect I'm sure that's when the symptoms started and she was talking about a sore throat. Julia actually seemed to weather it more or less cheerfully, but I got knocked out by it - basically for 24 hours on Friday I felt like absolute garbage, had to cancel my Italian Skype class even.

So...after a good start, V had a few days of absolute horror where she refused to put on her school uniform. It corresponded to both switching from half to full days and getting the uniform, and I think she was starting to feel the frustrations of the language barrier and missing her sister. Today was better, though, and while she told me she didn't want to go she didn't put up a fight at least. I hope it gets easier soon. I feel like this is going to be awesome in the long term - it's probably the only way she'll learn the language, and in a year or so I bet she'll be native-speaker-fluent--but for now it's really much harder than I'd expected.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station
PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:32 am 
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Semen Strong
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Hope everyone feels better soon and that we can all avoid this enterovirus that seems to be skulking around the US!

And Annak, its so cool that Vi is going to get this opportunity! And fwiw, I went to an English school in Vienna and still ended up fluent in German in a matter of months. So even if you end up feeling that an all Italian class isn't working for her, she will probably pick up the language just from the daily immersion. She is a lucky girl to get to live in Italy!!!

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