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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:51 am 
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Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
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poopiebitch wrote:
A friend's son (he's 5 or 6) kept passing gas of the silent but violent variety, so his mom said "I think you need to go to the bathroom, don't you?" to which he responded with "yeah, my poop is whispering."

So many levels of awesome

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 9:10 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Before bed every night, I sing the Emperor three songs of his choosing. He almost always demands Baa Baa (black) Sheep but then changes his mind and goes no no, no Baa Baa Sheep, I want (whatever). I don't care, not a problem for me, I don't scold him for it or anything.

Tonight we're in and I'm asking him what song he wants to hear and he goes: "Baa baa sheep! No wait. No Baa baa sheep. (Exasperated sigh.) Why I do that? Why I do that every single time?"

It was hard not to just bust out laughing. Kid, I've wondered that too.


Hahaha. I'm reading this while I should be working. Between this and the whispering farts, I'm totally going to get caught laughing.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:40 am 
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veganna wrote:
Smart kid.


Right? My brother thinks she'll probably go vegetarian at least. I think they're letting her make her own decisions as long as she's getting enough to eat and nutrients, or whatever parents make sure of.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:32 pm 
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
‎"Mom, I can't get my penis into my butt! Oh, no!"
"Uh..it's not supposed to go there, honey."
"Okay!"

Beetroot also likes to find rogue handkerchiefs and run around with them stuffed into his buttcrack. However, we try to discourage this kind of behaviour.

This. Is. Awesome. All of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:15 am 
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Ezra's been running around saying "Boo!" to everything lately. He'll sneak around corners and jump out and say it... or look up at me while nursing. He woke up this morning and sleepily said "Mama? Boo!"

He kinda draws it out too, so it's more like "Boooooooo..."
This kid, I tell ya.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:34 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I was talking to Izzy the other day, and he said he wanted to do some random activity, so I said "that's a good idea!" Now he's always saying, "Mom! I have one good idea with duck, duck, goose!" (...That is the good idea, haha.)

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:49 am 
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Henry helped hand out candy last night and he kept hugging people and telling them he loved them.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:19 pm 
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Megan My Dear wrote:
Henry helped hand out candy last night and he kept hugging people and telling them he loved them.


<3 best.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:02 pm 
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it was pretty awesome.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:11 pm 
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My friend posted this on the book of faces. Squish is her two year olds nickname.

Squish: I'm a little bit mad at you mom. (Repeats several times)
Me: Why are you mad at me?
Squish: Because your boobs is not working anymore.

The end of breastfeeding. I laughed and cried all at the same time... :(

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:41 pm 
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Aw! Squish!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 6:47 pm 
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Hahaha that is awesome. Zelda still nurses about two to five minutes a day. She is so stubborn about nursing before bed. She'll say "just a minute mommy. Zelda nurse a minutes." In the most pained voice. Oi!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:06 am 
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I was babysitting my nephew last night, and while we were watching TV, out of the blue he started this conversation:

N: Father Christmas is just a nice idea isn't he Jo?
Me (not sure what his parents have said about FC): Well yes, he is a nice idea.
N: I'd LIKE to believe in him (pause, followed by long sigh), but I just can't bring myself to.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:07 am 
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So at recess these days, GG often plays "the Monster Game," which is like a free-form, improvised D&D-type thing, where the players act stuff out and GG narrates and decides what happens and what monsters they face and what rewards they get, etc.

Tonight he told me he was about to "release a patch" for the game, to introduce some new monsters (or whatever).

Apparently, he's on version 7.2 of the game: the 7th update, and 2 patches.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:23 am 
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FootFace wrote:
So at recess these days, GG often plays "the Monster Game," which is like a free-form, improvised D&D-type thing, where the players act stuff out and GG narrates and decides what happens and what monsters they face and what rewards they get, etc.

Tonight he told me he was about to "release a patch" for the game, to introduce some new monsters (or whatever).

Apparently, he's on version 7.2 of the game: the 7th update, and 2 patches.

GG is the best


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:21 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Today, Raygold was fiddling with our digital camera and called the button you press to take pictures (I believe it is officially called the 'shutter release button') "the cheese button." You know, like, "say cheese!" Mr. Crabby and I were laughing so hard. I thought it was quite insightful.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:44 pm 
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Fini: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
Fini: Interrupting Cow
Me: Interrupting Cow Who
((she doesn't interrupt))
Fini: You don't have to cry about it! Ha, ha, ha!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 1:36 pm 
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I've got some news on the Monster Game:

GG has to "shut the game down" for a couple days while he works out some stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 2:03 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
I've got some news on the Monster Game:

GG has to "shut the game down" for a couple days while he works out some stuff.

So awesome!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:33 pm 
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Raygold: Penis! My penis!
Beet: Crabby doesn't have a penis, she has a garage!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:13 pm 
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GG has a tendency of latching onto words and using them as his go-to conversation starters and all-purpose silence-fillers. Pie is one such word, and it's been in his aresenal for years.

From a few minutes ago:

Me: So what is it about you and pie?
GG: Maybe it's about your face.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:31 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Beet: How can we get to a moon up there? We need a really really tall ladder.
Momma: Actually you need a rocket to get to the moon.
Beet: Oh, no, we don't have a rocket! We need to make a rocket! We have to build one!
Momma: And we need space suits because there's no air in space.
Beet: We need a pump for the air in the rocket!
Raygold: We need boobies!

THE NEXT DAY:
Raygold loves to point outside and say, "I see Jupiter and Venus." Usually he gets it right.

I showed the kids a video of a rocket launch and Beet started crying. "Where we going to get all that fire for the rocket? Oh, no! We need to use the computer to make the fire!"

I think he means, rather than burn the computer, we have to design the rocket with the computer. I feel kind of bad that I can't just take him to the moon and that he's kind of feeling like the whole mission is futile. That's a tough thing to face at 3 and a half.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:17 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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The plumbers were here fixing our heaters. Beet was beside himself with excitement!

Beet: You need to buy a new one for us! It needs a pump you fill with air! Look outside! Man, you look outside!
Plumber: I'm looking outside.
Beet: That right, man!
Plumber: Okay.

Beet is going on this huge, hilarious monologue.

Beet: *running* I going around you, man! I going around you!!
Raygold: MAN!
Beet: FASTER FASTER FASTER FASTERFASTERFASTERFASTER! Radiators! Whoa! What you doing next? You fixing it! Where you other man gone?
Raygold: Man.
Beet: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Man! Man! Man! Man and a dad!
Raygold: Maaaaan.
Plumber #2: Alright, pal.
Beet: Hello, Man. Man, my name is Beet!
Plumber #2: Hello, my name is [Plumber #2].
Raygold: Man, are you dirty?
Plumber #2: What?
Raygold: I Raygold. *falls*
Plumber #2: Did you fall over there?
Raygold: Man!
Beet: What are you doing, man?
Plumber #2: I don't know, man.
Beet: PARDON?!!
*Plumbers leave.*
Beet: Bye, man! You come talk to me later! ...I think he's going away to fix more heaters.
Raygold: Maaaaaaan!

(For the record, the plumbers thought the kids were hilarious, I'd've taken them away if I thought the plumbers were being annoyed.)

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:37 am 
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I tell you, much as I love my daughter, compared to what my brother was like growing up (just like your kids, apparently), hopped up crazy girls are nothing compared to hopped up crazy boys. I was constantly pissing myself laughing when i had to babysit because my brother couldn't seem to hold any words inside his own body, and holding still was impossible. My daughter might go up to someone and say something silly, but not while running around like a little satellite or trying to accomplish various manic physical challenges at the same time.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 1:39 pm 
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Oh my god, crabby, I love it.


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