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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:33 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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torque wrote:
I tell you, much as I love my daughter, compared to what my brother was like growing up (just like your kids, apparently), hopped up crazy girls are nothing compared to hopped up crazy boys. I was constantly pissing myself laughing when i had to babysit because my brother couldn't seem to hold any words inside his own body, and holding still was impossible. My daughter might go up to someone and say something silly, but not while running around like a little satellite or trying to accomplish various manic physical challenges at the same time.

So it's not just my kids? I keep telling my husband we aren't the only parents with kids that act like I'm feeding them a bag of sugar for breakfast, but he's not so sure. His parents were traumatised by him or something. They keep telling us how girls are so much easier because they had my husband, a permanently hopped up crazy boy, followed by 3 very very quiet and calm girls.

My boys are hopped-up crazy pretty much all the time; Beet and Raygold sometimes orbit the living room, running around and around and around and around about 40 minutes before bedtime. I'll probably end up with a big family of all boys. ;D No rest for the crabby!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:46 pm 
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People, there are still big things happening in the Monster Game.

GG introduces new monsters, settings, and twists all the time (They're up to Monster Game version 8.4.) The latest new thing is the "hills:" Spine Hill, Spike Hill, and Razorback Hill, each with its own bosses.

The bosses for Spine Hill are Iron Golem, Ultimate Boss, and one of the Zenith Sentinels. The bosses of Razorback Hill are Space Maniac, the Dread Rider, Demonor, and the Skeleton Beserker. The only boss he knows of for Spike Hill so far is Spikor.

He still plays with a few friends every day at recess. He's still the "Mentor," kind of like the DM. He acts out the monsters and they run around waving invisible weapons.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:37 pm 
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Two Little Girls Explain The Worst Haircut Ever

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:02 pm 
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That was awesome, cq!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:54 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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"Crabby, I want to 'trangle the exercycle with my yo-yo. You go out into the foyer and watch."
I compromised by letting him strangle the exercycle with me in the room.

(No, I'm not training him up to be a Dexter, I've been telling him to be careful not to strangle anybody with his yo-yo.)

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:31 pm 
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Little boy walking by me where I work; directed to Mom: "I'm not a MAN! I'm a SPACE COWBOY!"

Oh man. He said it the most whiny, legitimately upset voice, too.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:57 pm 
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Ezra's playing with his wooden dinosaurs while he eats breakfast:

Me: "Hey Ezra, do dinosaurs like oatmeal?"
Ezra: *gives me a withering look* "Nooo..."
Me: "What do they eat then?"
Ezra: "Hmm... dino food!"
Me: "Where do you buy dino food?"
Ezra: "Hannaford!" (our local supermarket)
Me: "I've never seen it before..."
Ezra: "Next to cat food. Need red racecar to get it. Let's go!"

Just Ezra's latest attempt to convince me to let us use those huge and horrible racecar-shaped shopping carts. I swear, whoever invented those didn't have kids. Or they did, and didn't mind making everyone else in the supermarket hate the person using them.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:13 pm 
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I will note to you that as a non-kid-haver, I definitely don't hate the people using them. I see them and think "Awh cute kiddos!", and that's it. But I do agree (as some will remember as I had a whole thread about them) that they are not a well thought out invention.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:41 pm 
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Several of you probably already read this on facebook but I'm preserving it here because it's one of my favorite things ever:

I was changing the Emperor's shirt, which naturally got stuck on his extremely oversized head. (It is seriously huge.) This exchange ensued:

Me: why is your head so huge? (not expecting an answer)
Emperor: because there's a storm in there?
Me: wha?
Emperor: with thunder and lightning! BOOM!

Really explains so many things.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 11:39 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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"You not done with your bath, you still have those polka-dotties all over you!" says Beetroot. He meant my moles (I am somewhat moley). He even tried to wash them off.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 3:42 pm 
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My friend's kid (I think age 4): "Mommy, which is Irisher, sweet potatoes or music?"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:56 pm 
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Hi everybody! I am trying to teach my 2 1/2 your old that she is a vegetarian...so yesterday, I said to her, "are you a vegetarian?" and she said, "no, I'm a big girl." lol I was cracking up!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:05 pm 
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oh man a current favorite book of Dahlia's is "Click Clack Moo" and in it, the cows and hens conspire against the farmer and leave him a note that says "Sorry we're closed, No Milk No Eggs"...and she has taken to SHOUTING "You hear me? NO MILK NO EGGS". It cracks me up every time and well, we're thinking maybe we can teach her to say it a little more politely and it will help explain to people that she's vegan hahaha.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:28 pm 
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Silas was sad that it was naptime, so we talked about how we can water the garden when he wakes up. He cheered up so I said "you're ok now? Does your heart feel happy?". (he always tells us his heart is happy!) He laughs, rolls his eyes and says "Nooooo mommy. Hearts not get happy! Hearts go thump thump and pump all the blood!".

We've been reading books about the body this week.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:45 am 
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When I came home from work, GG had been alone for a couple hours, probably playing on the computer for almost all of that time.
GG wrote:
(leaping up to meet me at the door) Oh! My heart's still racing! I was playing, and (pant, pant)... Whoa! I was playing and the Eye. Of. Ctulhu just jumped out at me! I tried to fight it (pant, pant), but of course I died right away! It just jumped out! I didn't know it would be there! It was awesome!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 11:01 am 
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GG wrote:
(playing on the computer) You suck, you darn cave bat!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 11:12 am 
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Ha ha ha.... It's funny 'cause it's true, GG!

The Emperor repeats any story he reads right now roughly a thousand times to anyone who will listen. We recently read a big book of Madeline stories so now he's walking around saying things like:

E: (pulls his shirt up, gestures at stomach) CALL THE POLICE!

E: Au secour! Au secour! Help me France!

E: Pepito teased animals. That's really not nice.
Me: you're right, it's not.
E: and then the cat jumped on him. And he became a vegetarian.
Me: right...
E: I'm a vegetarian! Animals are my friiiiiiiends! (hysterical laughing)

Maybe you had to be there, but it's really funny in person.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 12:00 pm 
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Dahlia last night at dinner: "Dahlia like chard. Mama like chard. Papa like chard. Baby like chard. Hoho like cat food." (That's an understatement, that particular cat weights like 25lbs.)
and c&s, oh how I loved the Madeline books as a kid! gotta get my hands on one.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 2:47 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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‎"Beet, you need to apologise to Raygold for knocking him over. Say you're sorry."
"I sorry, Raygold."
"Sorry, Beet!"
"Now shake hands."
*they both waggle their hands all around like crazy*

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 5:53 am 
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Lucy: "Daddy, I'm going to play music for the brussels sprouts so they get bigger." She then took the triangle and played it next to the brussels sprouts plant on our deck. We'll have to see if it works....

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 9:54 pm 
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Some recent conversations with the Emperor, starting with the most PPK-relevant first:

(I close AFR after making the Caesar Chavez dressing. He spies the picture of Isa on the back.)
E: Hey, who is THAT?
Me: Um, that's Isa.
E: Isa who writes the RECIPES?
Me: Yeah, that Isa!
E: She's really pretty. ... ... ... ... What is her hair made out of?
Me: what? It's made out of hair.
E: Noooo. (slowly shakes his head) I think her hair must be made of SILVER.

.... and another less relevant conversation:

Me: I'm going to put on some music. Is there anything you want to hear?
E: Yeah.
Me: okay what?
E: NPR news.
Me: Um... (I put on some other music instead)
E: Mom. This isn't NPR.

(next day)

Me: I'm going to put on some music. Anything you want to hear today?
E: YEAH! Leslie Ann Levine.
Me: Uh. Leslie Ann Levine? (understand that he has a 2 year old lisp so this is barely intelligible)
E: YEAH!
Me: Ooookay... (I turn on the Decembrist's Leslie Ann Levine)
E: Yeah mom, THIS is the song I wanted to hear.

I think I may have created a monster...

Oh, and one more:

Me: What do daddies do?
E: They poop on the potty.
Me: Um... what else?
E: Nothing else. That's all they ever do.
Me. Oookay. ... What do mommies do?
E: THEY USE TOOLS!!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:10 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
E: They poop on the potty.

So now we know the truth.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:20 pm 
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Mars wrote:
coldandsleepy wrote:
E: They poop on the potty.

So now we know the truth.

It is true! Remember the thread I started about what our partners are doing in the bathroom?


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 8:32 pm 
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Mars wrote:
coldandsleepy wrote:
E: They poop on the potty.

So now we know the truth.


Yeah, it's pretty much true.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 8:44 pm 
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The emperor is the best.

Silas greeted friends at house last night by saying "Hi! Hi! You so pretty! I shake my booty at you!"
And he did. A lot.

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