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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 6:55 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Oh Further Mucker!

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 2:28 am 
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Nailed to the V
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R is fascinated by my lack of a penis. He will say "Mama no have penis. Gone!" whenever we take a bath together or he sees me on the loo. Yesterday, he changed it to "Mama un-penis." I've been trying to teach him the appropriate word for my genitals for about six months, and he ends up with "un-penis"!

For those of you who read Swedish, the word he's using is "snopp" and I say I have a "snippa", but he insists it's "o-snopp".

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 5:48 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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That is hilarious! Raygold still insists I pee out of my "gagina buns."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 3:23 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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I am looking at FB and the kid made me click on someone's page to see their avatar larger. She remarks "She's Canadian?" I say yes. "Is she nice?" Sure, why? "I'm surprised, Canadians are so rude!" WHAT. "Haven't you ever been yelled at by a Canadian telling you to stop dressing in black and talking about Homestuck and come to Jesus....." WHAT. "It happens to me on facebook almost every day." WHAT. Just about fell off my chair.

Yes, you know those rude Canadians, you have to watch them every minute or else they might pay your tolls, give you a hug or be friendly.
what the sam hell.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 4:17 pm 
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Haha, that reminds me. I need to step up my facebook harrassment or they're gonna pull my Canadian card. :P

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 4:40 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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I WILL PAY YOU TO GO TO HER FB PAGE AND YELL AT HER!!!!! [shhhh don't tell]

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 10:29 pm 
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While having a tender moment with the boy:

"Your hands are so tiny. But they'll get bigger as you grow up. They'll probably be about the same size as my hands."

"But when I'm all grown up, you'll die."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 12:06 pm 
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Has it on Blue Vinyl
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"The moon LOVES me. The moon want to follow me! I want to touch it. I need... a ladder! A BIG one!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 1:38 pm 
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My baby does not talk yet but we had a moment probably most mother's have had at some point.

Me: "Can you say Mama? Ma-ma. Maaa-maa. Ma-Ma. Say Ma-ma!" (I know super annoying right?!)
Baby: Looks right at me as says, "Da-da!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 3:33 pm 
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Pinko wrote:
"The moon LOVES me. The moon want to follow me! I want to touch it. I need... a ladder! A BIG one!"

That is beautiful. It sounds like a poem.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 3:49 pm 
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BG: I want to eat meat again, but only some ham and chicken.
Me: Do you know why you want to?
BG: I believe it's a matter of personal choice.

He is six.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Fri May 24, 2013 10:11 pm 
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I just went out to do the recycling and my neighbor's ~6 year old is out there. She tells me all about recycling, and then when I tell her she's so smart for remembering all of that, she very theatrically bows. Then she says she can bow 100 times, and I should watch. I tell her that's a lot of bows, I didn't think I could even count to 100 let alone bow that many times. She the proceeds to make me count her every bow up to 100.

The funny part is, instead of bowing... she just starts headbanging. Puts her hands on her knees and starts dramatically whipping her head/hair back and forth. And she insisted I count aloud. Every time I'd start laughing too much to keep counting, she'd stop and look over at me and tell me to keep going. Oh man I think it would have been a really great GIF.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 1:55 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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8ball wrote:
BG: I want to eat meat again, but only some ham and chicken.
Me: Do you know why you want to?
BG: I believe it's a matter of personal choice.

He is six.

Do you think maybe somebody put a bug in his ear about that?

My kids have been talking about ham and fish fingers (because that's what they've seen people eat on TV). I know a girl who showed her 4 year old pictures of meth teeth to scare him into brushing, but I don't think my kids are quite ready to see slaughterhouse photos.

Mind you, I get the feeling most of the time my kids are just trying to wind me up when they discuss fish fingers and ham. :p

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 4:00 am 
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Impressive boner
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TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:
Do you think maybe somebody put a bug in his ear about that?


Haha, yeah probably! His Mum has probably taught him that response to relatives quizzing him when he became vegetarian.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:39 am 
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We've been hiking with the Emperor (almost 4) a lot lately, and this weekend we were at Portola Redwoods State Park when he suddenly looks up and spits:

"This place has too many leaves."

You're in a forest, bro.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 1:56 pm 
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Ha!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:00 pm 
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I have a new nannying job with, for the first time ever, two vegan kids!! Yesterday I asked the older one (aged three) what he wanted to do when we got home from the park. He said: "I want to eat tempeh."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 7:36 pm 
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Awe, E <3

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:21 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Brett and I were joking around, and I inadvertantly said bl*wjob. And then both of us cracked up because Leela started to repeat it "Bowjo! Bowjo!" while waving her hands.

I guess we have to start watching our language - for the next 18 years.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 2:13 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Tofulish wrote:
I guess we have to start watching our language - for the next 18 years.

Apparently, whenever we get a sales call, I say, "it's bullshiitake," because Beet answered the phone the other day and said, "it bullshiitake daddy." (It was a wrong number and the guy was laughing at Beet.)

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 11:46 pm 
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"Daddy, can you look at my forehead?"

"Sure, what for?"

"I want you to see if I have lines on my forehead. Like you."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 7:30 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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solipsistnation wrote:
"Daddy, can you look at my forehead?"

"Sure, what for?"

"I want you to see if I have lines on my forehead. Like you."

This is similar to a conversation Beet had with Mr Crabby about Mr Crabby's yellow teeth. "What colour are my teeth, Daddy? Your teeth are YELLOW." Beet is always telling me how they are yellow because Mr Crabby never brushes his teeth.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 1:34 pm 
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Peter: "Tank engines use coal for fuel!"

Me: "Yes they do! What does our car use for fuel?"

Peter: "Um... petrol!"

Me: "That's right! So what do you think people use for fuel?"

Peter: "Uh... (long pause, thoughtful look)... oh, I know! CASH!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 1:41 pm 
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Semen Strong
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<3

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:57 pm 
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Oh man, poopie, that kid has us pegged, doesn't he? Hilarious. And kind of awful. And hilarious.

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