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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:11 pm 
And you never will.
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That is such a good idea! poopieboy is only just starting to get into games like that, so I think I'll be introducing The Parent Game to him very soon.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:41 pm 
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Crabby, that's genius! We are definitely going to be using that in the future.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 10:30 am 
Hearts James Cromwell
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I agree! Crabby, the Parent Game is Hall-of-Fame level genius!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:44 pm 
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We had a play date with a friend of L's whose Mama just weaned her. They weren't having an easy time sharing, and when L got upset she came to me and wanted to nurse. So I let her, and her friend stood behind her and said "please me too! Me too please!" And when her Mama said that L's mama milk was for L only she said "I share?"

It was sadorable

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 02, 2014 7:31 pm 
Not NOT A Furry
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I was riding on the max the other day. This kid was waving out the window and exclaiming to his dad 'THEY WAVED BACK!' Then he yelled 'THEY did not wave back! Why aren't they waving?!' And the dad told him some people do and some don't. The kid seemed satisfied with that answer. Then five seconds later then dad YELLED "do NOT lick the train, buddy!!!"

A guy behind them laughed and the dad told him it was the kid's first time on public transit. Then the kid asked the guy if he knew all the characters from the Madagascar movies.

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You know what would probably be a more effective ritual? Telling the person who you want to shut up, "You better not talk or we'll pound you." -Footface


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 02, 2014 7:41 pm 
***LIES!!!***
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Malka: "Mama! I'm farting! Out of my penis!" Okay then.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:04 pm 
Semen Strong
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Bahahahahaha! 8======<3

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:39 pm 
Chip Strong
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Older Girl, inspecting my Safeway pasta purchases: What's this?
Me: Angel hair.
Older Girl: Angels don' need hair! BOYS need hair!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 10:34 pm 
Because Bob Barker Told Me To
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Me: "Alice was that you who just farted?"
Ada: "That was my stinky fart. It smells like butterfly milk."

I have no idea what butterfly milk is and it was actually Alice who farted.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 8:27 am 
And you never will.
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Ha! Peter is always willing to claim a fart as his own, too.

Butterfly milk is mentioned in The Lorax - have you read that to her or has she seen the movie?

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I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:14 am 
Because Bob Barker Told Me To
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She has watched the Lorax recently! Ha. I must have missed that part. It all makes sense now.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:30 am 
And you never will.
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It's still pretty hilarious that she would hold on to that and use it in reference to farts. Kids are so weird/awesome.

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I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 5:04 pm 
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I just saw this thread, and I'm so happy! Kid quotes are incredibly awesome.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 5:08 pm 
***LIES!!!***
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Nothing is as funny as farts.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 5:09 pm 
And you never will.
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Ariann wrote:
Nothing is as funny as farts.

Truth. Peter's big into telling stories right now, and every. single. one. includes bums, poo, and/or farts.

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I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 9:35 am 
And you never will.
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Me: Ugh, I don't want to do my baking today. Peter, will you do it for me?
Peter: No, I'm not high.

I think he meant that he's not tall enough? I laughed foreeeeever.

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I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:52 pm 
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zelavie wrote:
I just saw this thread, and I'm so happy! Kid quotes are incredibly awesome.


dude, when I found this thread I was in my senior year of college and I would read it during class- I've never had a harder time holding audible amusement inside.

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You know what would probably be a more effective ritual? Telling the person who you want to shut up, "You better not talk or we'll pound you." -Footface


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:30 pm 
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We have been giving Leela stickers when she pees or poos on the potty.

So today we go to Trader Joe's and all her favorite employees offer her stickers. Every time someone gave her a sticker, she yelled superloud "I GO PEEPEE ON THE POTTTTTEEEEEEEEEE!" And threw her arms up over her head like she was on the rollercoaster.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:14 pm 
And you never will.
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A couple of weeks ago, Peter was watching Dora the Explorer when I heard him singing. It took me a minute to register that he was singing an Iron Maiden song, but changed the words to "bring your Dora, bring your Dora, to the slaaaaaaughter!"

Then today Elmo's world was on while I was baking, and it was the part where the computer comes in saying "Elmo has mail! Elmo has mail!" and Peter deadpanned to the TV: "more like Elmo has FAIL"

He is 100% my kid.

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I'm in a pure mood with poopietits now. Damn her jugs! - interrobang?!
give my you inquiries! and give poopie you burritos. - acr
Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:37 pm 
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That is hilarious! I love that he has your sense of humor.

I was trying to explain to Leela that we don't drop clean clothes on the floor because they end up covered in cat hair. She looked confused and then said "But...Mama...Cats... Are. LOVELY!

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:08 pm 
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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poopiebitch wrote:
A couple of weeks ago, Peter was watching Dora the Explorer when I heard him singing. It took me a minute to register that he was singing an Iron Maiden song, but changed the words to "bring your Dora, bring your Dora, to the slaaaaaaughter!"

Then today Elmo's world was on while I was baking, and it was the part where the computer comes in saying "Elmo has mail! Elmo has mail!" and Peter deadpanned to the TV: "more like Elmo has FAIL"

He is 100% my kid.


HAHHAHAA I love your child.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:29 pm 
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Ha, poopie, ever seen this story? http://imgur.com/ltMt6 Sounds like Peter would get along well with that guy.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:52 pm 
The Real Hamburger Helper
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poopiebitch wrote:
A couple of weeks ago, Peter was watching Dora the Explorer when I heard him singing. It took me a minute to register that he was singing an Iron Maiden song, but changed the words to "bring your Dora, bring your Dora, to the slaaaaaaughter!"

This is wonderful!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:48 am 
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I was changing Rs nappy on the kitchen floor the other day, and the conversation went like this:

R: Open the door! Open the door!
Me: No, it needs to be closed in case the workers come in, so they don't see your bum.
R: The workers don't have bums, they have earplugs instead.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:16 pm 
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E (in tone of total wonder): Mama, when I hold this to my ear, I can hear the ocean!

... I look over and he's listening intently to a measuring cup.

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