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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 5:49 am 
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Not NOT A Furry
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"Want Mama to get out of bed and wash dishes!"
Thanks, buddy.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 10:35 pm 
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Top of the food chain & doesn't need to prove it
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R: "I need a band-aid!" (He scrubbed his knee.)
Me: " Just like that book where the cow needs a band-aid because she cuts herself on the barbed wire."
R:"Yes".
Me: "She needed a really big piece because cows are really big, do you remember?"
R: " Cows are really big. So are you, mama!"


Yup, just like a cow, son.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2014 10:42 pm 
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Harsh!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 9:27 pm 
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E: I have something in my pocket from school, but I don't want to say what.
E: (consults with himself briefly, then says) It starts with W.
Me: is it a woodchip?
E: yeah, but.
E: I'm pretending it's a dog.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 9:41 pm 
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Lubes With Earth Balance
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Aw. My dog, Chippy.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 11:37 am 
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Making Threats to Punks Again

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coldandsleepy wrote:
E: I have something in my pocket from school, but I don't want to say what.
E: (consults with himself briefly, then says) It starts with W.
Me: is it a woodchip?
E: yeah, but.
E: I'm pretending it's a dog.

The Emperor is so, so, SO cute.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 8:25 pm 
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And you never will.
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poopieboy was walking around the house holding a dvd case out in front of him. Suddenly he smacked himself in the face with it, paused, then said: "well, I didn't see that coming."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:31 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
poopieboy was walking around the house holding a dvd case out in front of him. Suddenly he smacked himself in the face with it, paused, then said: "well, I didn't see that coming."


DYING!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:46 am 
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poopiebitch wrote:
poopieboy was walking around the house holding a dvd case out in front of him. Suddenly he smacked himself in the face with it, paused, then said: "well, I didn't see that coming."


Ha ha ha ha. Oh dear.

I thought of you guys (this thread, not you specifically poopie!) while M was having a screaming meltdown in the car because his cruel, cruel mother made something other than tempeh for dinner. There is something hilarious about a 2 year old wailing "I want tempeh! I want tempeh!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 12:15 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
I thought of you guys (this thread, not you specifically poopie!) while M was having a screaming meltdown in the car because his cruel, cruel mother made something other than tempeh for dinner. There is something hilarious about a 2 year old wailing "I want tempeh! I want tempeh!"


Ha! Inez's go-to phrase lately is "like a big ol' piece of tofu!" I'm not even sure what it's supposed to mean. She uses it in a lot of different contexts. This morning she needed to crawl underneath Greta's jumper "like a big ol' piece of tofu."


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 9:49 pm 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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Haha, awesome! The other day Scarlett walked up to someone in whole foods who was eating scrambled eggs and said, "Mmm, is your tofu yummy? I loooove tofu!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 10:23 pm 
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I was visiting my BFF in a small town, and she's friends with the next door family who has a 6 y/o. After a couple of days of hanging out with my BFF, the 6 y/o says "are you two in love?", which we respond by saying yes, but friend love, proceed to chat a bit about having friends you love a lot, whatnot. Later she says "are you two boyfriend/girlfriend?", which, considering she knows very well the man whom my BFF is bf/gf with, I find amusing... but the best part was when my BFF said "No, Aaron's my boyfriend, silly! You know that!" She gets huffy and says "People can have more than one boyfriend, you know!!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 2:02 pm 
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E (4) to M: can you be quiet please? I'm trying to listen to This American Life.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:49 pm 
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My husband looks for his keys a lot, so R has started using that as a delaying tactic.
"Time to go to daycare."
"But I need my keeeys!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:54 am 
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And you never will.
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P: Why are those pictures on your computer screen?
Me: It's called a screen saver. It happens when my computer goes to sleep.
P: Oh! The pictures are so we can see what your computer is dreaming?

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Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars
One vegan baker to another: "Dude, do you even sift?" - FootFace


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 11:10 am 
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That is awesome!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 9:48 pm 
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I second that!

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When people ask about my plans for after graduation: "PhD in knitting blanket forts, bisque!" -Mars


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 11:19 pm 
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I'm browsing Vegan Eats World when M very excited grabs it and shouts:

M: CALL ME MAYBE! CALL ME MAYBE! THIS IS A CALL ME MAYBE BOOK!

He was pointing frantically at Terry.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:34 pm 
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And you never will.
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Me: "Why are you walking around wearing one sock?"
P (exasperated): "So I can PIROUETTE"

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Sometimes I think, it's really my lack of cybernetic implants that keeps me from being truly human. - Mars
One vegan baker to another: "Dude, do you even sift?" - FootFace


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:19 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
I'm browsing Vegan Eats World when M very excited grabs it and shouts:

M: CALL ME MAYBE! CALL ME MAYBE! THIS IS A CALL ME MAYBE BOOK!

He was pointing frantically at Terry.


They do kind of look alike!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 3:17 pm 
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This morning, Shorty, who is 14, walked through the living room singing to herself "BRB, Have to pee". Like show tune singing it.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 12:36 pm 
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Wrote Dissertation on Vegans, Meat, and the Deserted Island Question
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"The vulvas on the bus go round and round, round and round" from the 5yr old
"No Blackie those are MY dancing shoes" the 2yr old to the kitty


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:34 pm 
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This is actually the story of my husband's first word - I thought it was too good not to share.

My husband was raised by his grandma after the age of 3 and rarely talked to his mom. He recently talked to her and asked about when he started to talk/first word etc. She said that shortly after his second birthday they were riding in the car and someone cut her off and she yelled something at the other driver and heard the baby in the backseat start laughing...a few minutes later at a gas station while checking out a gentleman stopped to say what a cute little fellow he was and in response he said his first words, "You son of a bisque". This was apparently repeated all over town as a most favorite phrase for days.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 11:32 pm 
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So Inez and I just had this conversation at bedtime:

"When is it time for my teeth to come out?"
You mean when do your baby teeth fall out and you get your big teeth?
"Yeah."
Oh, it usually starts when you're about six. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Everybody's different. I lost my first tooth when I was in kindergarten.
"What did you do with it?"
I put it under my pillow.
"And then what happened?"
When I woke up it was gone and there was some money under my pillow.
"Was that the tooth fairy?"
Maybe. I'm not sure.
"On that night? When my tooth comes out? I'm just going to -clomp!- open up my eyes and see her! And I'm going to tell her I want a new vacuum cleaner. A BIG one."

Several minutes of silence, followed by unintelligible whispering. And then:

"Mom, I'm talking to my teeth. I'm telling them not to come out."


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:55 am 
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Me: (complaining about work to solipsistnation)
M (singing to me): you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!*



* This is a song E came up with a while back, which he sings when he's thinking about whining about something.

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