| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Sun Dec 21, 2014 10:35 pm

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 42 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:12 pm 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
So it was six months ago my daughter* was placed with me. Thinking about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good--it has been really wonderful to get to be a parent. We've formed a pretty good bond, and she's grown a lot, and so have I. Her life trajectory seems to really have changed from where she was last spring. Amazingly enough, the decision to become a foster parent did not render me undateable, my work life is going pretty well, and my social life is mostly surviving. Also, there are kittens.

The bad--special needs, gazillions of new systems to navigate, people to deal with, post-starting-parenthood depression, secondary trauma, financial strain. All of which is getting better.

And the ugly--a colleague referring to what I'm doing here as "community service" and comments like, "how's that girl you took in?" Until the day that, "how's that girl you pushed out of your vag?" becomes an acceptable way to inquire about someone's bio-kid, that's not cool. (I know some idiots. Fortunately very few.)


*I see the foster system as the means that this kid came to be my daughter, and not as a label that should be applied to her, any more than another kid would be referred to as a bio daughter or adopted daughter in ordinary conversation.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:18 pm 
Offline
Baking In The Flavor
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:35 pm
Posts: 185
i am so happy for you and d! i can't wait to come visit you guys some day. <3


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:40 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:42 pm
Posts: 2367
Yay! I'm so happy for both of you. Hopefully the good just keeps getting better and the uglies keep their dumb mouths shut (ugh!).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:31 pm 
Offline
Married to the wolfman
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:49 pm
Posts: 6023
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Happy 6 months! I really think the first year of parenting-- with a young 'un who has come to you via someone else's uterus or your own, it doesn't matter-- is necessarily an incredibly tumultuous and lifechanging thing. You're halfway through it though, so congrats! I hope the next 6 months are full of the good and not a whole lot of the bad and none of the appalling!

_________________
"Hummus; a gentleman's vice." -- Mars

coldandsleepy cooks, THE BLOG!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:23 am 
Offline
Addicted to B12 Enemas
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 7:38 pm
Posts: 233
Location: Land of Lincoln
That's fantastic, Friday. Congrats.

_________________
Never wear your good pants when you go to fight for freedom.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:06 am 
Offline
Aired her grievances, lost the feat of strength
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 4409
Location: Brighton, England.
It sounds like the good is definitely outweighing the bad, I'm so happy for you & I bet you're an amazing parent because you're awesome. I also can't believe people would be so rude!

_________________
Blog: Vegan.In.Brighton
Twitter: @veganinbrighton


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:47 am 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
Thanks, guys. Jojo, we hope to descend on the UK someday! I've shown her pics of you in a shameless attempt to win cool points just from knowing you. It worked.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:10 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:01 pm
Posts: 2213
Location: Maryland
People can be really insensitive and rude. I think it's normal to get the blues a bit when things change. Being a parent changes things, and no matter how much you want it, there's still a loss. A happy loss, but a loss. Especially when you put all of your heart into it, like I know you are!

I'm glad things are going well! I hope to get up there and see y'all!

_________________
"Noooo! Karyn, you have to stop posting old Jensen pics. He looks way too smooth in those pics, like if I touch his face it'll feel like silk or bosoms or something."-mixmaster_mo
It's Raining Kale


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:29 pm 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
<3
I hope so, too! There is still couch room.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:36 pm 
Offline
Aired her grievances, lost the feat of strength
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 4409
Location: Brighton, England.
Friday wrote:
Thanks, guys. Jojo, we hope to descend on the UK someday! I've shown her pics of you in a shameless attempt to win cool points just from knowing you. It worked.


Ha, that's hilarious! If you guys ever come to Brighton you're always welcome to stay here.

_________________
Blog: Vegan.In.Brighton
Twitter: @veganinbrighton


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:37 pm 
Offline
Just Loathin' Around!
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:17 pm
Posts: 7386
Location: bindlestiff
I can't believe no pictures of me were shown as proof of coolness.

_________________
I sure do love beige food covered in gravy. -the wise rachell37

Panda With Cookie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:46 pm 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
pandacookie wrote:
I can't believe no pictures of me were shown as proof of coolness.


Just the whole apartment--my friend Lisa put together this counter, my friend Lisa hung the curtain...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:36 pm 
Offline
The Real Hamburger Helper
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:01 pm
Posts: 2213
Location: Maryland
Friday wrote:
pandacookie wrote:
I can't believe no pictures of me were shown as proof of coolness.


Just the whole apartment--my friend Lisa put together this counter, my friend Lisa hung the curtain...

Ahem. I bought cookies and a tunnel for my cats while you guys bought curtains!

_________________
"Noooo! Karyn, you have to stop posting old Jensen pics. He looks way too smooth in those pics, like if I touch his face it'll feel like silk or bosoms or something."-mixmaster_mo
It's Raining Kale


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:43 pm 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
Hmm, that might get some cool points.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:43 am 
Offline
Saggy Butt
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:30 am
Posts: 274
Location: A little cabin in the woods of the Willamette Valley
thanks for sharing! and congrats on six months!
the hubz and i plan on fostering when he's done with his phd and ever since i saw you mention in a post that you foster ive been hoping to see more about it!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 7:17 am 
Offline
Wrote Dissertation on Vegans, Meat, and the Deserted Island Question
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:21 pm
Posts: 1644
Location: Brisbane, Australia
I'm glad you're both growing with this experience Friday.

_________________
Mel makes vegan food


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:35 pm 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
Update--we're at 8 months today. Woot! The past two months have had lots of growth, I think getting past the six month mark was really important.
I have graduated to being "mom" unmodified--she gave me a note saying thanks for being a great mom, and refers to me as her mom all the time now, tho she calls me by name. We're talking adoption. She caught up in school from the courses she failed last year and is on track to graduate next June, and is catching up in general knowledge gaps. She's gone from wanting to be an FBI agent (totally unrealistic and coming from a weird place) to wanting to be a social worker (realistic and coming from a healthy place.) She and my girlfriend get along really well. Yeah, all is well at my house.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:39 pm 
Offline
WELFARIST!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:57 pm
Posts: 5272
I have tears in my eyes after reading that update, Friday. That's so exciting and wonderful! You cannot put a price on what you've done for her! <3 <3 <3

_________________
"I'm sorry! I'm Canadian!"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:39 pm 
Offline
Thinks chickens are assholes
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:17 pm
Posts: 5750
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! This makes me so happy! You rock! <3 <3


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:05 pm 
Offline
Just Loathin' Around!
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:17 pm
Posts: 7386
Location: bindlestiff
Mom O' The Year

_________________
I sure do love beige food covered in gravy. -the wise rachell37

Panda With Cookie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:18 pm 
Online
Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:43 pm
Posts: 10927
Location: Astoria, NY
aww! that's so great! i'm really happy for your whole family!

_________________
I am not a troll. I am TELLING YOU THE ******GOD'S TRUTH****** AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT THE HEAR IT DO YOU?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:29 pm 
Offline
We So Excited
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:44 pm
Posts: 575
<3 you guys.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:31 pm 
Offline
Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:06 pm
Posts: 1969
Location: Windmill Central
This is so great!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:56 pm 
Offline
Semen Strong
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 19337
Location: Cliffbar NJ
What an amazing update! I got all teary, because <3!

You're really an incredible person and its wonderful to see what a huge difference you're making in her life and she in yours. I'm seconding the "Mom o' the Year"!!!

<3 <3 <3

_________________
My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: 6 months of parenting...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:14 pm 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:40 pm
Posts: 2145
I am so, so happy for you both. What a fantastic update. Sniff.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 42 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer