Post Punk Kitchen Forum

jackson (26 mos.) has been ok with peeing in the potty for a few months now, but he acts scared to poop in it. when he gets that "look" like he's gonna do #2, i take him into the bathroom, act upbeat and say "ok buddy, here's where we poop"...and he acts like he doesn't have to go all of a sudden. he holds it until he is back in a diaper. is this normal when they are starting to potty train? i've tried distracting him with a book to get him to relax, offering him a treat if he goes, but so far nothing has worked, any suggestions?

Try lining the potty with a nappy, and see if he'll consent to poop in the nappy while it is there.
Maybe he just likes the warm squishy-ness on his bum.

My daughter is 3 and we have been dealing with this for months. She was holding it in because she didn't want to poop on the potty, to the point of pain. Apparently it is very common and has to do with control. So we just put a diaper on her at nap time and bed time (which we do anyway) and she usually goes before she goes to sleep, comes and gets us, we change her, she goes to sleep. It sucks, but at least she is going and not holding it in. Her pediatrician says she will eventually give up control and start going on the potty. I'm not holding my breath. Good luck to you!!

We had a problem with this when Julian was potty training also. So after he'd pee (and maybe "attempt" to poop) on the potty, I'd talk to him while I was putting a diaper on him. I'd say things like, "It's ok that you're not ready to poop on the potty yet. But you just let me know when you want to try, and we'll try together. I'm proud of you that you're going pee on the potty though!" And encouraging stuff like that. I'd then ask if he wants to go poo poo "in private" and he'd say yes, then he'd go into his room, poop, then come get me to change his diaper. While I was changing his diaper, I'd also take that time to use encouraging phrases, etc. Stuff like, "I'm proud that you're telling me when you need to poop! And remember, when you're ready to poop on the potty, you tell me and we'll try! But only when you're ready, ok?" I know it seems kinda odd and my husband had no clue what was going on in my brain, but I didn't want to get upset at Julian for not wanting to go in the toilet yet. (Not saying that you're getting upset, but this was just my way of dealing with it all).

This went on for a month or two and then...one day...he wanted to go on the potty! All on his own.

Not sure if any of this info can help you, but good luck!!

this is very typical! almost every kid i care for is peeing in the potty just fine but takes a while to start pooping there.

milo did this for about a week. he pooped maybe once every three days in the potty, otherwise waited until he had a diaper on. what we did was lose the diaper completely and have him naked at home all the time. and for a few days, we tried not to leave the house (other than going outside to play) so that we had no reason to diaper or dress him. during that time, he started pooping in the potty and then he got LOTS of positive reinforcement when he did: 2 stickers as opposed to the 1 for peeing and we cheered and stuff. after those few days, he had no trouble pooping in the potty.

Malcolm did this too. I think a large part of it was privacy. Which makes sense. I don't like an audience when I'm pooping.

thanks, i'm glad i'm not the only one dealing with this! i'm so tired of changing poopy diapers, but i know if i make it into a thing, he'll be even more reluctant. i'm going to try the all-naked thing...i've been waiting until we had a clear calendar and now we do, so we'll see how that goes! i never thought about the privacy thing because he's not pee-shy, but i'll definitely start giving him some alone time in the bathroom.

Malcolm isn't/hasn't ever been pee shy. He'll leave the door open no matter who's around. But if he's doing a number 2, he likes to be left alone. But he would often ask me just to sit outside the door so we could still talk.

My kid acted like she was exorcising a demon when she had to do it. She would hold it for far too long and when it came time she literally jumped off the potty screaming in terror as it happened. I just comforted and coached her along and eventually she became ok with it.

I wanted to add (as I remember things) that Malcolm seemed willing to stay longer and give it a try if he had books to read/look at while he was on the toilet. After every page we'd practice our funny pooping faces and make pushing sounds.

probably obvious, but make sure kiddo is not constipated, this makes a bad situation into a disaster.