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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:13 am 
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Contractions for me were like having a very painful seizure in my lower torso.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 4:59 pm 
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Mine started like oddly sharp, long menstrual cramps, but they soon ramped up to just pain everywhere. (But I also had back labor for most of it and I hear that is a lot more painful, so don't be scared.)

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 6:28 pm 
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My contractions were like menstrual cramps. They were really low down in my pelvis and felt exactly like a BAD menstrual cramp. I have only had menstrual cramps like twice in my life, but these were the same! My second pregnancy with the whole hypnobabies thing had my contractions seriously just feeling like a non-painful tightening of my abdomen. Neither of these things were like the cramping I would get with nursing.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:08 am 
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What sports / workouts did you guys do during your pregnancies? My main form of exercise is bouldering and I don't feel comfortable continuing when I get pregnant due to the frequent falls / jumps from great heights. And between my first pregnancy and the unhappy time after my miscarriage, I have put on a bit too much weight. I'd like to find a good workout that I can ramp up now while TTC and throughout the pregnancy.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:15 am 
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Could you climb (with a rope + harness) while TTC? That's a pretty similar activity to bouldering, but without all of the falling jumps. A friend of mine climbed until about 4.5 or 5 months into her pregnancy before stopping. She and baby are both doing fine, and are hanging out at the climbing wall again. (Baby doesn't climb. Yet.)

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:58 am 
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Yeah, I might top-rope now and then. I don't find it quite as fun as bouldering though, and between the fact that the climbing halls are out of the city and the need for a belay partner, it's almost a full day ordeal, not something I can do spontaneously after work.

Our bouldering hall is very family friendly, a lot of people bring their babies. It's the cutest.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 8:34 am 
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I ran and lifted weights (kettlebell). I had to stop running basically the minute I got pregnant because I lost balance and pelvic stability but I was able to lift well into the 7th month (and most people can keep running, I was just unlucky).


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 11:04 am 
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I ran until 7 months or so.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:40 pm 
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Yeah I ran until week 32 or so, but I needed a maternity belt pretty early on, as I had some round ligament pain (only when I ran though.)

When I was pregnant, I also used it as an excuse to take intermediate swimming lessons. My guy and I both went, and it was fun.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 2:19 pm 
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I ran up until 32 weeks as well, and did yoga regularly--normal (with some modifications) until week 30, then prenatal. (I ran less and less as I went on, though, because of how much the baby jiggled my bladder.)

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2016 3:31 am 
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aelle wrote:
What sports / workouts did you guys do during your pregnancies? My main form of exercise is bouldering and I don't feel comfortable continuing when I get pregnant due to the frequent falls / jumps from great heights. And between my first pregnancy and the unhappy time after my miscarriage, I have put on a bit too much weight. I'd like to find a good workout that I can ramp up now while TTC and throughout the pregnancy.

I don't have an answer for you, but go you for wanting to exercise hardcore while pregnant! I did 10-Minute Solution Prenatal Pilates, Kathy Smith Pregnancy Workout (80s aerobics, stretching, arms with weights, and legs), and of all the stuff I tried, those were the only ones that made me feel like I had a workout. I also exercycled and hula hooped.

Let me know what exercises you find that you like!

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 10:12 am 
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Is there an age your child reaches where you get some of your life back? Like, where you can leave the house or exercise or see friends once a month? What age is that? Is it just whatever age you're willing to let a babysitter take over?


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 10:21 am 
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Tigon wrote:
Is there an age your child reaches where you get some of your life back? Like, where you can leave the house or exercise or see friends once a month? What age is that? Is it just whatever age you're willing to let a babysitter take over?


Pretty much. I think it's such a function of your child too - Leela really has never liked being left and will just be unhappy. Even leaving her with her Dad for an hour was massive amounts of drama until she was about 3. We began leaving L at her friends' houses for an hour every now and again, once she turned 3.5 and we could tell that she was so engrossed with her friends and didn't mind us leaving. It's just with a few friends and it's really awesome.

But she still doesn't like gym day care and I have friends whose kids have always loved it, so your kid may be completely different! Or maybe I missed a window for socializing her to accept the care of others hahaha

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:05 pm 
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Tigon wrote:
Is there an age your child reaches where you get some of your life back? Like, where you can leave the house or exercise or see friends once a month? What age is that? Is it just whatever age you're willing to let a babysitter take over?


For us, we are just taking the baby with us to do a lot of things. We frequently put him in a wrap and he will sleep for a couple hours while we're out...in fact, I think he really likes going out. He does much better out, in fact, than when I've just tried to wear him in a wrap at home.

He's only a bit over 3 weeks, but so far we've:

-gone out with family several times for dinner (the first time when he was 5 days old...slept the whole time until the car ride home).
-taken several walks to the library
-took the neighbors dogs on a walk, and everyone was doing so well we ended up walking for almost an hour and a half through the huge park near us
-took the train downtown to see an art exhibit with my dad while he was visiting
-went to our downstairs neighbor's brunch birthday party
-went to a monthly meeting for the coop building we live in
-went to the conservatory with my mom and stepdad
-we signed up for Meal Train, a website that helps organize people to bring you food when you're sick, have a new baby, etc. so we've had friends two or three nights a week stop by to bring us dinner. the expectation is that we may not be up for having visitors stick around, but so far we've enjoyed seeing all sorts of friends and have always wanted them to stay and hang out.
-it will be a while before I'm able to do things without the baby since I am the food (I have a pump but havent successfully used it yet), but last night my husband went to a yoga class after work.
-and of course, several pediatrician appointments.


I know that I've had a much, much easier recovery than lots of people have, and also we are very lucky to have had an easy time with breastfeeding so whenever we're out, if the baby gets fussy I pretty much just shove a boob in his mouth and he'll be happy. He's also really healthy and pretty easy going; almost every time if he's fussy or crying he just needs a change or to be fed. We've had lots of great support from family and friends, including people who I don't consider to be super close friends but who I was pleasantly surprised to find were happy to cook me dinner and bring it to my house.

All that is to say that I know there are lots of reasons why getting out of the house might not be as easy for other people with babies as it has been for us so far, so I don't think it's as easy as JUST saying don't let having a baby stop you from doing things, but we've been purposely trying not to let having a baby become a reason to sequester ourselves. (Though pacing is important...we generally have a limit of planning 1 thing per day, and if baby and I don't leave the house at all some days, that's just fine too.) It seems like at this age, they're so portable and really just want to be with you regardless of what you're doing, so I'm trying to take advantage of that before he's got a will of his own and needs entertaining. :)


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:10 pm 
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I definitely did a lot more when L was portable than I did after she wanted nothing to do with a carrier! Seconding EC's suggestion of an awesome carrier to help get out with the kiddo. We loved our Moby and then transitioned to a toddler Kinderpack Portable babies are the best!

I once walked all over NYC and went to a PPK meet up with L in a carrier. She was about 18m and she enjoyed breakfast and ran around at the playground and then slept for a lot of the walking!

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:21 pm 
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Oh and in regards to pregnancy and exercise...I'm not good at doing things for exercise's sake, but I was pretty active in low-impact, daily ways. I'm a bike commuter and continued riding my bike regularly until it got snowy and icy. I think the last time I rode my bike was at 35 weeks, and I felt like physically I could have continued riding, but was worried about slick roads, especially since I get to work before sunrise in the winter, and before all the roads are well salted.

I also do a lot of walking...on days I didn't bike, my commute involved usually 1-2 miles of walking round-trip, depending on which route I'd take, and my job involves a lot of walking too.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 2:51 pm 
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Tigon wrote:
Is there an age your child reaches where you get some of your life back? Like, where you can leave the house or exercise or see friends once a month? What age is that? Is it just whatever age you're willing to let a babysitter take over?


i think this is so dependent on the baby and the family (ie everyone is different). also expect it to change several times as your baby goes through various developmental stages.
BabyPunk was a very portable baby and i took her everywhere. im not a terribly social person but we went to the grocery store, target, the library, to see relatives, restaurants, etc. she has pretty much always been fine to go wherever we go if im with her.

she hit the stranger danger phase early and hardcore and i couldnt really have other people around her without a big to do. even relatives she would freak out over. i remember very well visiting my in laws once and my husband and his brother went to Buffalo for the weekend for the NCAA championships and i stayed outside Syracuse with my MIL and FIL and i literally could not be a foot away from BP the entire time without her completely losing her mind.

i did not leave BP with a relative by herself regularly til 18 months then my dad started coming over once a week for a few hours so i could go to work. it went fine at first for awhile then we had a few hard weeks where she would freak the fork out every time i left and be totally fine 5 minutes later. for the most part BP is totally fine with adults now and i leave her regularly with one of my parents and shes fine. shes also pretty much fine with my in laws now too by herself (she sees them a lot less than my parents)

BabyPunk is a bit of an extreme though because she is beyond attached to me and very clingy. for the most part she is totally fine if i leave her with my husband but lately a couple times she protested really bad when i left to go to the gym or one night i actually went to see a friend in Boston and go to a show, something ive only done one other time since she was born. it's also partially my fault because im a total hermit and dont ever go anywhere by myself.

on the flip side i know people who have gone on overnights without their kids when they are like 5 months old and then do it regularly. i have no idea how these people manage to do this. it was a big forking deal for me to go to boston last week and my husband try to get her to sleep because i was out late and BP is almost three.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 3:51 pm 
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We have been on a handful of dates in the last 3.5 years...after we finally found a babysitter we trusted, we still had to coordinate schedules with her and then cough up the funds to pay her plus whatever activity we were going to do. Each outing would typically be at least $100.

We have a life full of lots of activities. They all just involve the kids too...so not the same life. We will go out to eat at any non-fancy type restaurants, visit museums, go to parks, etc. For working out I watch the kiddies while my husband does his Kendo Class and I don't like to exercise.

Since moving to NC we haven't been out without the children at all. I have an Aunt nearby who offered to watch them, but she is so busy and her husband has health issues that I feel like I shouldn't impose. My parents are 2 hours away but I am really excited to say they are coming to my house this weekend and my husband and I are going to get the day to explore our town! I want to find a babysitter so we can go out more often but it is really quite intimidating to choose a stranger to watch your kids. Especially two very young children who can't talk much.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:06 pm 
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With no family around, my husband and I never go on actual dates unless we have family in town to watch our kids, but we've been going out solo in the evenings and on weekends since our babies each hit a few months old! I started on a master's swim team three evenings a week when my second was five months. And I do yoga class, pilates class, ballet class, train for triathlons, whatever I feel like. My husband takes piano, plays tennis, does bike races, goes out for beers after work... I think it's so overwhelming at first with a baby, but eventually you just hit your stride and get to a point where it feels doable (and not only that, but necessary for you to function and survive both as parents and partners). And we take our kids all over the place (and it felt like it was so much easier when at least one was immobile...) -- we've just had to learn what is more stress than it's worth with kids. We don't go to all the same places as we did before kids, but we manage to do lots of awesome things and we've been doing them since my first was tiny.

And I agree with others about carriers, my Ergo was invaluable for the first 18 months or so!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 5:49 pm 
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I too use a carrier but my baby is only 6.5 months. When she was a newborn she'd sleep for HOURS in a carrier. She'll still sleep but she is also a lot more curious now and wants to be into everything.

I've only left her (with her dad) like 3 times. They were all epic disasters. I don't know what the fizzle is going to happen when she starts daycare when I go back to work when she's 12 months. I think it's going to be really traumatic for her and I feel awful.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 5:58 pm 
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As someone who has done a lot of nannying/very part-time nannying (often for stay at home parents who needed a break)/date night babysitting, basically every kid at every age who I've met will bond with another adult and get used to being left with them, even if they have intense separation anxiety, even if they still cry for a minute or two when the parents are leaving. The expense of it is another thing, though. I babysat every Saturday night for a couple from when their twins were 6 weeks (a week after they come home from the NICU) to 2.5 and I was always pretty amazed that they liked being out late even when they would have to get up so early and that their financial situation allowed it.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:01 pm 
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Charlotte is starting a new playgroup at a cooperative preschool in March and i have to fill out the enrollment form. it's pretty simple but it has a spot for allergies/medical issues.

she doesnt have any medical issues that would impact her being a playgroup and i will be with her the whole time. would you guys write down her heart issue?
if i was going to be leaving her there (like real preschool) i might mention her dental problems only so they could get her to drink water after eating but since ill be there with her i dont think that's worth mentioning.
im thinking of writing in she has mild sensory issues too

for allergies i was just thinking of writing "does not eat meat or dairy but i am happy to bring alternatives" as i know there is a snacktime portion and i dont want her eating goldfish. i hate the ubiquitousness of those damn cheddar goldfish with small children. DOWN WITH GOLDFISH. (i will mention it's not an allergy)

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:44 pm 
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ok nevermind :-)
i had emailed her a question about whether i should mail the check or not and when she answered my email she directly asked if she had any medical or allergy issues so i already got that out of the way.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 2:35 pm 
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On the topic of going out with babies: little tiny babies are so much easier to go out with than mobile babies, IME. Newborns are super easy to be out with, I really have no idea why people stay home with them. Babies who like to be carried in carriers are easier to go out with than babies who don't (I'm comparing my first to my second - my second is not a fan of being carried in fabric most of the time, but is a big fan of always being carried all the time). Babies who like sitting in their car seats are probably much easier to go out with, but I haven't met those babies yet. Babies who take formula are generally easier to leave at home with a sitter (barring separation anxiety) than babies who are mostly breastfed, unless you can pump enough to leave behind and your baby also takes a bottle easily. A consistent other caregiver is best, someone who starts *before* baby starts having separation anxiety so they're already tight. If they have anxiety, though, they will still cry when you leave even if they love the caregiver. It kind of sucks. My first, who was home with her father as a SAHP till 18 months, never developed separation anxiety until preschool age, and she was left with babysitters pretty frequently. My second, who has a nanny but almost never is with another sitter, has developed it and is only 7 months. Different kids are different.

Lisa: As an education administrator I prefer people put all potentially relevant information on all forms. If you're with her it matters less because you can communicate her issues in the moment, but even if a kid is only in a two hour program a couple times a week by themselves, God forbid they have a sudden medical emergency, you'd want people to know everything they could possibly need to know. And sometimes what happens is that parents aren't asked to fill out medical paperwork again from year to year, so you might not put it down for this year but you might send her there on her own next year and if for whatever reason you don't fill out the paperwork again, they wouldn't have that info when it actually matters.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 4:27 pm 
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lisa...give them as much info as possible. We had a new student and the parents didn't list any allergies/issues. They complained the next day that he came home with a weird rash on his face and then told us they think he is allergic to all sorts of foods. This is actually the second time that's happened now that I think about it. On a side note one of those kids moms is a pediatrician. You would think she would be on top of that type of stuff!

So any allergies/food preferences/health issues/you only want her drinking water/you will provide her own snacks/etc...give them all the info.

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