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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 5:39 pm 
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As a teacher (not of little kids, but I think it is still relevant) I would also say put all the information down. And definitely make sure the school has that information year on year. We need to know this stuff, if only for worst-case-scenario. The more information, the better.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 11:59 am 
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thanks everyone.
i definitely tend to err on the side of the more info the merrier but i am totally the person who gives out information overload like "let me tell you everything that has ever happened to my child in case parts of it are helpful" ;-) so sometimes i wonder if i need to edit myself before peoples' eyes glaze over.

anyways she ended up asking me directly in an email so i gave her all the relevant (and potentially irrelevant ) info in the email and am also writing it on the form i have to bring.

thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 8:30 am 
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im looking on amazon for toddler underwear on the odd chance it might motivate BP to consider potty training (AHAHAHAHAH yeah right) and on one the sizes are listed as 4, 6, 8, 4T. those sizes without the T are big kid sizes right? the order they have the sizes in confused me. i need underwear that are size like 6 months :-P

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 12:19 pm 
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Sizes with and without the 't' confuse me, too! I mostly just buy second hand, so that doesn't exactly help demystify sizing.

I would love for Vax to potty train, but he really, really, really does not want to. He is such a laid back kid compared to his brothers, but he really kicks up a fuss about potty training, so I'm not pushing it for the moment. Beet didn't potty train until he was 3-1/2, but Raygold was potty trained and even had stopped having accidents by the time he was 2-1/2. I just keep reminding myself all kids are different.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 12:23 pm 
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4T is usually smaller than kids size 4, but I bet there is not actually a difference in this case and it's just different Amazon sellers listing sizes differently.

My sister tried potty training with her skinny 18 month old, and found that H&M briefs in size 1.5-2 were small enough to fit her kid.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 3:29 pm 
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T is theoretically wider/shorter than non-T (although no idea how that applies to underwear!! Malka wears everything from 2T to 4T undies). They're for "toddler-shaped" bodies instead of big kid-shaped bodies which are longer/leaner. Recently we bought a batch of size 5 pants because Malka's 4T pants are seriously too short and we discovered that the difference between 5T pants and 5 pants is actually several inches of height (sample size included several brands), which was shocking. She is ready for 5T pants or regular 4 pants, but not 5 pants. I think of "T" as the "husky" sizing for the under-elementary school set. I don't even know if they have husky sizing anymore, though.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:26 pm 
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this is all so very confusing. i thought the sizes without the T was for older kids so like it would go 2T-5T (?) then the non T sizes...
is it similar size but differently cut?

if the T sizes are for "husky" body types then i need to stop buying T things.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:38 pm 
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I was totally under the impression that the "T" referred to toddler and meant that the seat was cut to have room for a diaper...I did relalize there was leg length differences!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 12:04 am 
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LisaPunk wrote:
this is all so very confusing. i thought the sizes without the T was for older kids so like it would go 2T-5T (?) then the non T sizes...
is it similar size but differently cut?

if the T sizes are for "husky" body types then i need to stop buying T things.


Yes, although there might not be the right size available for her. Like, if she were in 4T but it was wide on her but the right length, I'd go down to a 3. But if she's in 3T or 2T there isn't anywhere to go from there that would be as long but less wide. 24 months is also wider/shorter than 2T.

I understand the logic of the sizing just like there used to be multiple sizing options geared for Tweens/young teens (like there used to be a sizing option called "preteen" even - it was wider/shorter than junior but still assumed minimal boobage). Kids all the same age can have very different body types especially at big growth spurt times. But if you add in the variation across brands also it all gets very murky.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 12:05 am 
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My guess is the length differences increase as you go up the sizes, so 5T and 5 are remarkably different, 3 and 3T different but less noticeable.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 7:49 am 
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i recently started buying her 2T clothes because 18 months pants are too short now and 18 months shirts, though they still fit, are getting small. 2T is a bit big on her but not bad. ive never seen anything that said size 2 but to be fair i shop almost exclusively at target for her clothes and ive only ever looked in the baby/toddler section. so ive never seen size 3, 4, 5 (without the T) there either. either they dont carry it or its in the kids section.

i might just give up on underwear for now. she is totally anti potty training. maybe in time she will come around to the idea and maybe she will have grown (ha yeah right)

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 8:29 pm 
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How do you teach a baby to drink out of a straw? I so don't remember this being a thing I had to think about last time around, but maybe I just blocked it out.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 10:03 am 
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BP was much older than Talya is now when we tried to teach her how to drink out of a straw so it might just be easier to teach an older kid but one of the things the interwebs told us was to actually feed them using the bottom of the straw (so like suck a little in yourself then cap the straw with your thumb so it doesnt fall out of the straw when you take it out of the cup) and then put it in their mouth. im not entirely sure how that is supposed to teach them how to suck but that was one thing that was suggested.

i think also just making it as easy as possible for them to get whatever is in the cup so full cup and short straw.
we have a lollacup which has a pretty short straw and i think that was the first straw BP figured out.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 2:11 pm 
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I used that same method at 6 months old and after a couple of weeks she figured it out.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:06 pm 
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Giles was taught by his therapist how to use a straw. She first cut a super short straw and used a small bathroom type paper cup. She then started by collecting water in the straw and closing of the bottom with her finger and then tipping it back into his mouth and then she stopped tipping it and sort of squeezed it to send some up into his mouth. After a little bit of that then she put it in the cup and he figured it out from there! OT was super cool seeing how everyday actions were broken down into all these little steps.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2016 2:16 pm 
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anyone else have kids who have a hard time dressing themselves?

i no longer have any idea what is age appropriate but i know BP has no self help skills. one of the things our OT has us working on is her dressing skills. within just a couple weeks she is better about getting her socks OFF. sometimes shoes too. for awhile now she can get her arms out of her shirts if i kind of hold the sleeve part out so she can pull her arm through and she can usually take the shirt off over her head herself when her arms are out.

for shorts she is ok at taking them off. despite having no butt to speak of she has a hard time getting things over her butt whether it's down or up. the biggest problem is that she absolutely does not listen to me which im guessing is the 3 year old in her. she grabs the front of her shorts and tries to rip them down and then just yells when it doesnt work. when she gets frustrated she just starts screaming and eventually flings herself on the floor and refuses to budge.

i have repeatedly (and will continue) tried to show her how to put her thumbs on the side of her shorts to pull them down or if they get stuck on her bum to put her thumbs behind her to pull down but she just will not listen. at this point if she cant get them off on her own and she isnt listening to instructions i try to at least get her to put her thumbs where mine are and for the most part im the one doing the work but i make sure shes going through the motions. after she gets them down over her bum she's good about stepping out of them (shorts anyways, pants is a different issue).
getting them on is the same issue in reverse. i pull the open for her and she puts her feet in ok but then has issues pulling them up.

putting her socks ON is a whole different nightmare. she is very sensitive about her feet so i had to go buy new socks because the older ones that are getting smaller but still fit she says are TOO TIGHT. so i bought bigger socks and i have been trying to show her how to open them and then i just put them on her toes and try to get her to pull them on. they must feel slightly different when they are just sitting on your toes rather than all the way on because she starts freaking out that they "hurt" (anything she doesnt like she says hurts).

when she gets frustrated she just loses it. i try to tell her if she gets frustrated to ask for help and i will help her but she just freaks out and throws herself on the floor.

im wondering if part of the issue is she doesnt have the vocabulary to express how she is feeling (the OT says when she claims everything she doesnt like "hurts" it's more that she doesnt have the words to describe what she doesnt like)

when we went to the OT yesterday BP sat there and very patiently and diligently tried and tried and tried again without getting outwardly frustrated to get her shoes and socks off (and did a pretty good job). so yeah it's just with dear old mom that she loses her shiitake immediately.

i mentioned to the OT the pants issue and she said she would try to think of some ideas. she said with some kids with toileting issues like wiping or whatever to help them learn to reach around to the back they put something like tags or something on the back of their shorts for them to pull off to practice reaching.

has anyone else experienced issues with self-dressing skills? what are some things that worked for you?

i think the language thing that the OT mentioned was kind of an eye opener for me. i hadnt considered that because BP is soooo verbal but im not sure she has all the vocabulary yet to talk about feelings so i will work on that. that might lessen her frusrtation level?

i dont know if they work on other dressing issues at the OT place like shorts and shirts? ill have to ask. i dont know at what point dressing and undressing young kids becomes more of a liability about inappropriate behavior than is worth for them. (i hate that we live in a world where i have to even think about that)

my husband thinks since she does a good job trying with the shoes and socks at the OT place that that will give her more confidence and eventually translate to home. so heres hoping

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 4:03 pm 
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I don't think this is a 'dumb question' at all! The physical skills are tough, never mind the behavioral part.

We worked a long time on getting shirts off. I had to do it really slowly a few times to figure out how I do it myself, before I could break it down to teach it. My kiddo likes names for things, and I like giving choices. We came up with four ways to take a shirt off, so I could ask "Do you want to try Elbow Method or Criss-Cross Method?" Even if he only ever chooses the same one, I still offer. This worked for his personality.

We have encountered shirts cut so snug, especially under the arms, that even now he can't quite take them off by himself. It may be obvious, but are you practicing with biggish clothes?

For pants, I don't have advice except maybe alternate incentives or timelines? Sometimes the kid used to "struggle" with something that he could do in a jiffy when he wanted to. I also tried going away and letting him try on his own. This didn't always work, but for some kids, maybe if no one is there to ask for help, they would try?

I saw a kid with EZ sox, which have handles at the top the way some rain boots do. I came up with methods for socks too, but he just ignores me and does it his own (less effective) way. Come to think of it, the shirt thing took so long that I wonder if he just needed to develop physically or mentally. I wouldn't call the time wasted, though, because once he was ready, he knew what to do and did well.

It's too bad it's summer now, because kiddo was able to put on his jacket at an early age--that could be a success to build on. It sure made me think I could teach the other stuff--i.e. it helped with MY confidence!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 9:52 am 
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Giles will be 4 in about a week and still does not dress himself. We are not in OT right now, but previously she worked with him on all aspects of dressing (he was still in a diaper so there was no underwear work!). She would break down each step and make a little sing-song sort of game about them. She recommended oversize T-shirts and of course elastic waist pants and loose as you could get without them falling down to make the undressing easier. To take off a shirt she told him to grab one sleeve with the opposite arm and then pull the arm out of the sleeve, repeat on other side and then pull over his head. It made so much sense when she broke it down into little steps!

At this point Giles can take off all his clothes (unless the T-shirt is tight or has buttons or something like that). He can pull his pants up, but won't necessarily pull the butt part up all the way. He can put a jacket on but not zip it. He cannot put on socks or T-shirt without mega-assistance. He sort of shoves his feet into his shoes, but the tongue gets in the way and he seems to always get the wrong foot/shoe combo. It is a work in progress that requires practice, practice, practice!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 11:10 am 
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part of the problem is she doesnt seem to have any desire to try to do it herself. she wants us to do everything for her. she definitely has no independent streak what so ever. i have heard people talk of kids much younger than BP get to a stage where they want to do everything themselves and refuse help. she is the opposite.

the other problem is i have never seen anyone as stubborn this child. it took me AN HOUR to get her dressed yesterday because she tried to take her shirt off over her head, hit a tiny speed bump and then freaked out and flung herself on the floor and stayed there for an hour.

3 is super fun

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:18 pm 
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LisaPunk - Hope this makes you feel better. One of my 5 year old twins is easily as stubborn/uninterested in getting dressed as BP. To the point where he actually gaslighted his preschool teachers. I don't know how many times over the last year they asked me whether or not he could actually put his shoes on (he can - just won't if someone else will). He sizes people up and if they're willing to help him, he'll do the least amount of work possible. He'll even make a big show of putting things on hopelessly wrong if he thinks that it will convince someone to help him/he'll get out of doing for himself in the future.

My "favorite" example occurred about halfway through the school year when we met with the teacher to talk about how things were going. The teachers were excited to share some ideas about how to teach him to put his coat on. We explained that we keep the kid's coats on a hook in our hallway and simply tell them to put them on before we leave the house. He had been doing this for so long that we were unable to remember how long ago he had stopped needing any help.

I have had to frequently stick to my guns and make him do things for himself when I know that he's capable. Being as stubborn as he is, we've had numerous hour long standoffs over getting ready (not always realistic to do - but I got to a point where it was worth it to budget the extra time in). I've also had to make sure that if I offer any rewards/punishments related to cooperating that I've fulfilled whatever it is I've said. In the moment it felt like these behaviors lasted forever but happily we're on the other side. Hopefully our kid's ability to persevere will serve them better later in life. Hang in there! Three is rough but I bet four will be much better.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 6:22 pm 
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Leela's 4.5 and she can sometimes dress herself and sometimes not. I tried to push it more earlier this summer (because I had two dogs staying with us so so it would have been so helpful to have her able to put her own shoes on), but it's just not something that I can force, so we've backed off.

If pushing her to get dressed is causing her a lot of stress, can you pull back and let the charge around getting dress dissipate? I know that if putting on shoes becomes something L and I fight about, she's not going to do it, and it just becomes an issue of contention for us, so if I then back off, she's more likely to do it on her own.

Every kid is different, so we have friends whose kids will put on every single item of clothing, brush their own teeth and hair and require no help, because they love being independent. Leela is not one of those children :) And she's stubborn with me, though she responded so well to the OT, and I think that's pretty common, so don't worry too much if LP will do stuff for an OT she won't do for you.

I feel like I err in the direction of pushing L to do stuff, and often I'm better off letting her do it at her pace. I was pushing her to correct her grip earlier this year, and it was NOT HAPPENING. But now she seems willing to do that, because she sees the benefits to it.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:33 pm 
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Tofulish makes a great point. Every kid develops at their own rate and sometimes backing off and giving things time and space can be hugely beneficial, especially when they're so young. We chose to proceed the way we did with my kiddo for a number of reasons but it certainly wouldn't be an appropriate approach for all situations.

I've also found that my kids are more into getting dressed if I give them a couple of options and let them pick what they want to wear.
It's silly but my kiddos are super into this Nick Jr song at the moment: http://www.nickjr.com/nick-jr-originals ... -supercut/

With any luck BP might dig it too. Maybe you guys could have some fun getting dressed up and then translate it into a fun getting ready routine? I've had a lot of luck with using songs as prompts for things my littles are reluctant to do. They're always happier when we reframe things as games. Might be worth a shot.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:55 pm 
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tiny wu can dress herself (and has been able to since just after turning 3), but doesn't always want to. I'm pretty sure that she learned to do it as a bedtime stalling technique. She'd announce that everyone needed to go away and close the door, and emerge 20 minutes later in her pajamas. These days I usually dress her in the morning just to get her going a little faster.

Practically, she always wears T-shirts and leggings, or knit jersey dresses and leggings/tights, so the clothes are pretty easy to put on. She doesn't have any buttons, zippered pants, or non-stretchy clothing. Except her snowsuit, which she could do on her own as well.

I think a big part of her learning was other activities that involve getting dressed and undressed, like going potty, swimming, to the ballet school. Those have given her lots of chances to practice, but it was never just teaching g her to get dressed. Like at the pool, I might say, "here, do your underpants while I get dry, then I'll help with your tights.". Often once she gets started she'll just continue on her own. Maybe you guys can find some fun or social activities that involve changing clothes, so it doesn't feel so much like work to BP.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 9:33 pm 
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until we started with the new OT recently i had basically been getting her dressed and doing her shoes and socks for her then when we went through the evaluation for the OT and they asked her to take her shoes and socks off i was like "Uhhhhh........." and they asked what she could do which is basically nothing.

i dont mind helping her but i feel like im dancing a line between pushing her too much and just doing everything for her.
today when we got back from walking the dogs she sat on our stairs and i asked her to take off her shoes and she just sat there and was like HELP HELP HELP and i said i would help her if she needed it but she needed to at least try (she literally had not moved a muscle) and then she just basically laid on the stairs and whined.

im glad to hear other kids older than her still either dont dress themselves or need help. i think i will back off but it's still hard to tell with her. the incident the other day that resulted in an hour of her laying on the floor started off totally fine. i helped her take her arms out of her shirt and then asked her to pull it over her head and she was like AHH and tried to rip it off over her head which didnt work and then she screamed more and flung herself on the floor. i kept repeatedly telling her i would help her if she just sat up but no dice. what finally worked was telling her she could wear a different shirt than the one she had already picked ( i usually pick out 3 choices and let her pick one but lately she seems to have an idea in mind specifically of what she wants)

we had some luck today with relating things to dinosaurs to have her try getting things off. she seems to be good at getting her socks off when shes in the mood.

she's doing 2 morning a week preschool in the fall and im hoping being around other kids consistantly will get her to start being a bit more independent

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2016 12:32 am 
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It's weird how fast a development can take place. From Leela refusing to correct her grip to now happily doing it herself was 5 months.

And if BP has sensory issues, getting dressed can be even harder. L has mild sensory stuff going on with textiles and things that are too tight. We have huge upsets if something is the wrong feelings - like total panic. So if a shirt is too tight taking it off becomes something she can't do on her own.

Leela seems to be one of those kids who does everything on her own terms. I wanted her to potty train earlier because I thought the signs were there, but she didn't until she was ready and then boom.

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