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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 4:40 pm 
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actually looking at Ariann's post i think it was monthly for awhile for pedi visits then every 3 months.
whatever the standard American sched is we did with the one extra visit because she was tiny.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 6:02 pm 
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Chip Strong
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mollyjade wrote:
I don't want to be managing my mom's emotions, which seems to happen a lot in our relationship. I want the birthing room to be as calm as possible.

I also don't want people showing up at the hospital uninvited. (And again, by people, I mean my mother).


mollyjade, I don't know how your hospital is set up, but at the hospital I'm planning on giving birth at they have super tight security and will not let even let anyone on the floor let alone in your room if you don't want them to. I know that won't do much for any hurt feelings your mom might have if she did show up uninvited and demand to see you anyways but it would give you peace of mind that you could have the calmer birth you want. I feel like that is really important and it wouldn't hurt to check if you don't know already.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 6:20 pm 
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First baby I went into labor at night and it was intense until I gave birth at 7am so we didn't even bother contacting family. It was actually pretty cool to surprise them with a baby picture first thing in the morning. I recommend that if it wouldn't cause horrible hurt feelings afterward! Second baby we called/texted family when I went into early labor, telling them we'd probably have a baby that day and we'd let them know once it had happened. Both sets of parents are respectful of our boundaries though, so I knew they wouldn't be bugging us.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 11:00 pm 
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Once my labor was really active I have no idea if or how often my partner was communicating with our families. I know from the pictures of the birth that he was texting everyone like 5 minutes after she was born. I remember that we called both sets of parents maybe 20 or 30 minutes later. They were all in different states so there was no danger of them showing up uninvited!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 3:23 am 
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We didn't tell anyone anything was going on until Violet was probably 5 hours old. I really liked having that time to just us with no interruptions. My labor was about 3 days, so it would've gotten really irritating if people had called us wanting updates!!

As a cautionary tale, a friend of mine recently had to be induced knowing the baby would be stillborn. For practical reasons (having someone watch their toddler) they told her mother-in-law, who took it upon herself to inform the rest of the family, all of whom then barged into her room after delivery and insisted on holding the (dead) baby.. She understood that the extended family was also grieving, but if you think people are bad at respecting boundaries under normal circumstances, don't expect them to improve under duress!!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 4:31 pm 
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Next question: has anyone looked into a doula when there was uncertainty whether it would be a vaginal or planned c-section birth? We definitely want a doula if we do vaginal birth, but it doesn't really seem helpful (from our point of view) for a planned c-section. (MIL is a former lactation consultant, so we'll have plenty of help establishing breastfeeding.) Is this a decision I can keep putting off until I get more information?


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 4:53 pm 
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annak wrote:
We didn't tell anyone anything was going on until Violet was probably 5 hours old. I really liked having that time to just us with no interruptions. My labor was about 3 days, so it would've gotten really irritating if people had called us wanting updates!!


That is super reasonable. My sweetheart's mother told me she wanted updates as soon as I went into labor. I told her I'd be too busy having a baby and we would let her know later once the baby was here! I get that people are excitable but I have work to do!

My sweetheart's sister is due a month before I am so perhaps that is what they agreed on?

annak wrote:
As a cautionary tale...if you think people are bad at respecting boundaries under normal circumstances, don't expect them to improve under duress!!


I can't even. Your poor friend.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 5:42 pm 
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mollyjade wrote:
Next question: has anyone looked into a doula when there was uncertainty whether it would be a vaginal or planned c-section birth? We definitely want a doula if we do vaginal birth, but it doesn't really seem helpful (from our point of view) for a planned c-section. (MIL is a former lactation consultant, so we'll have plenty of help establishing breastfeeding.) Is this a decision I can keep putting off until I get more information?

This came up at my LLL meeting the other month (there are quite a few moms who are doulas) and the consensus was it's never too late. You might want to start looking for a doula, that way at least you'd be prepared with one if you need her.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 8:19 pm 
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kdub wrote:
mollyjade wrote:
Next question: has anyone looked into a doula when there was uncertainty whether it would be a vaginal or planned c-section birth? We definitely want a doula if we do vaginal birth, but it doesn't really seem helpful (from our point of view) for a planned c-section. (MIL is a former lactation consultant, so we'll have plenty of help establishing breastfeeding.) Is this a decision I can keep putting off until I get more information?

This came up at my LLL meeting the other month (there are quite a few moms who are doulas) and the consensus was it's never too late. You might want to start looking for a doula, that way at least you'd be prepared with one if you need her.

Thank you! This helps. I'm a planner, and it's good to hear that I can wait to make a decision.

We went to an open house with the main doula cooperative here last night, but it wasn't the right format for us (the open house, not the doula cooperative) because we didn't really want to go into all my health issues in front of a large group.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 2:05 pm 
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The only thing about waiting on the doula is that they do get booked up...I know my doula friend only takes 2 births a month and typically people book her by their 3rd or 4th month of pregnancy.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 8:54 pm 
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Interesting, re: doctor visits, I think you can only see a pediatrician here through a hospital or similar, and I have never heard of a 'well' waiting room anywhere! We do midwife care for the first six weeks, then transfer to Plunket nurses [similar to the UK 'health visitors', I think] and they do check ups every few weeks from six weeks to 3 months at your home, then you visit them at 5 months, 9 months, 15 months and 2 years. Those are just a weigh and measure, and a chat about any concerns either of you have. For vaccinations, we just see the nurse at our GP's office, no need to see a doctor.

For labour and keeping in touch, I told my parents I was in labour roughly 12 hours into it, mostly because I was scheduled to have lunch with them! My husband told his parents either later that night or the following morning, can't remember. Both sets of grandparents-to-be came into the hospital shortly after we went in, at roughly 46 hours in, we met them in the hallway and said hi, then it all got intense and baby was born shortly after, she met my Mum at ~ an hour old and the rest about an hour after that... I know many people wouldn't have been comfortable with that, but I was pleased to have them around.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:25 pm 
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what exactly are swim diapers and where would one find them?
can you find them at a Target?

are they a disposable thing or some sort of pant?

i have a coupon here for Pampers Splashers so i am assuming that is some sort of disposable diaper.

we are going to the Cape for a week and although i doubt we will be swimming in the ocean since it's freezing cold (the ocean that is) im sure we will be down by the water and there may even be a pool at our hotel im not sure.

plus i have plans to sign BP up for swim lessons at the Y later this summer and we need both swim diapers AND rubber pants for that and i dont even know what rubber pants are or where you would get THOSE (amazon?)

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 3:43 pm 
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You can get both disposable and resuable swim diapers. My target sells iplay brand reusable swim diapers, but that might be unusual. All targets should sell the disposable ones though. As for rubber pants, I think nobody uses true rubber pants anymore. When I talked to the management at our pool, they said that while they call them rubber pants, what they are asking for is some sort of resuable swim diaper that is worn over a disposable swim diaper. (Our pool also has a rubber pants over swim diaper policy.)

Now, I'm cheap. So I don't use disposable swim diapers. I use an iplay swim diaper with a Bummis pull on cover on top. A mom friend of mine is also very cheap, and she says you can reuse disposoable swim diapers, but my kids poop a lot, so I don't do that. Honestly, I'm guessing most poops would be contained by an iplay swim diaper alone, but to be safe, I like to use the Bummis cover for extra protection, even when we swim places that don't have an official swim diaper policy.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 8:12 pm 
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i found the pampers splashers at Target today. i wonder if a regular cloth diaper cover would work on top of that.

ill have to ask my friend what she's using. they are doing the lessons at the Y with their twins right now.

i hope the ones i got fit BP they only had size 3 and up and right now she's in size 2 when we use disposables.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 5:06 am 
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I'm not up on the American brands, but when she was tiny, I would put Clara in a disposable swim diaper and then put a cloth cover on top. She has skinny legs and I am paranoid about leaks. Now she just wears a normal bathing suit over her swim diaper. They are apparently incredibly stretchy because the box of diapers says for 7-15 kg, which is a huge range, and they do not gap on my 9 kg kid. There is, however, lots of room in the tuchus zone. So you should be good.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 8:14 am 
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We have a couple different brands of cloth swim diapers, but in a pinch you can also use an empty pocket diaper or cover. I'm not sure why you'd need the rubber pants over that? Is that just the pool's policy? Cloth swim diapers hold in the poo much better in my experience... Will did once clear the pool in a disposable.. Poor kiddo!

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 11:07 am 
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We use the iPlay swim diapers. Sven fancy swim lesson place requires TWO reusable diapers be worn in the pool. It's kind of weird. The iPlay ones are nice and we've never had a poop leak out. The best thing about the disposable ones is that you can tear the sides to take them off rather than pulling them down, which is awesome for poops. I think Sven has only pooped once in a swim diaper, though, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 1:36 pm 
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For cloth swim diapers, I found a brand at target that works very well. We've never had any issues and they are even absorbant out of the pool. I have used brands where I get peed on because they were not meant to hold urine.

As far as B12 supplementation goes, does it matter if the b12 is methylcobalamin or cynocobalamin? I ran into some fear mongering earlier lol.

Also, I have some 500mcg spray. Will this be ok for a 21 month old? How many times a week should I use the spray? Are there any health affects for a high does of B12?


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 4:54 pm 
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This helped me when I was wondering about B12: http://jacknorrisrd.com/what-b12-supple ... ld-i-take/

We actually take methylcobalamin because that is mostly what is available in our Whole Foods (the Jarrow chewables for us and the Kal 2500 ug spray for the toddler) but I would feel fine taking cyanocobalamin too. I was told that the body will just flush out excess B12 so you don't have to worry about overdosing. We give Sven the spray every few days. No idea what his levels are but we take 1000 ug every few days and our levels always test great, and since Sven is about 1/4 my weight I just assume it works out.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 4:16 am 
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As weird as a rule that babies have to wear two nappies sounds, I think it's possibly weirder that the pool I've been taking Westiebaby to this year has an ABSOLUTELY NO swim nappy rule, I have no idea what they do if/when babies poop though... luckily hasn't been an issue thus far.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 1:43 pm 
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for those of you who give your kids B12 when did you start giving it to them? (what age?)

BP is one but doesnt eat any solid foods yet so is strictly nursing. i take 1000 mg B12 (the long C word one) about 3x a week. i think somewhere on here or in the Vegan for Life book it says 2x a week is sufficient so i take an extra one just because im nursing.

i had my levels tested at my last physical and my levels were rigt in the middle of the ideal range

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 2:10 pm 
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We started giving B12 at the same time as fluoride just because it came in the fluoride drops (our water is not fluoridated in NJ so it's recommended that all babies start getting supplemental fluoride at 6 months). She was already getting it in her formula, and then eventually switched to fortified soy milk, so between the supplements and her milk, she gets plenty of B12. I have heard many folks say that breastfeeding vegans should start in the first couple weeks of life, like with Vitamin D, because B12 may not be passed efficiently/because your own levels might not be ideal. I don't know if the same advice is given to non-vegans, i.e. I don't know if it's really about not knowing if vegan moms have good enough B-12 levels or if it's really about the breastmilk transmission itself which would be an issue for everyone.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 3:06 pm 
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there's a vitamin website that people have mentioned on this board a few times.
does anyone remember what it is?

i cant remember.

my dr claimed when she was born that the only supplement she needed was vit D and i specifically asked about B12 since im vegan and she said she would get it through breastmilk. not sure how much of an expert on that she is though.

im gonna go with better safe than sorry.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 3:34 pm 
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I think we started supplementing with B12 around 9 months or so. I didn't start giving vitamin D until around then either, but we get so much sun here I don't worry about it in the summer.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 8:09 pm 
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for those of you who have the spray vitamins this is a really dumb question but does the spray go on their skin and absorb that way or do you have to spray it in their mouth?

there's no chance in hell id ever get to spray something in her mouth.

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